Bonfire of the Goddesses

blondiex46

Ducky u said it perfectly 

Say whatever u want.

Panic attacks about walking down the steps that is it..hate them.

I dont bother putting on s fake face, i am whatvn who i am. My kids keep yelling at me, they r so angry n it feels like they don't like me. I feel like such a burden. DDon't know why cause they don't do much. My friends do more than my kids don't really ask..stranded with jo transportation n depending on people to take me food shopping, that i hsve to order it n pay 4 delivery..dont really go anywhere. Have books art the library around the corner, cant find anybody to go get them, so frustrated. ..can't walk their either.

What is up 4 the weekend

Lucy55

Blondie.. I so wish I lived near you to help ((Hugs))

Ducky.. Like Blondie said... You said it perfectly ! Everyone thinks we should be grateful.. We had breast cancer.. and now we are better.. I wish.... and yes.. What we're feeling is normal..

Poppy.. I haven't had a full on panic attack ( yet) .. But I have felt them coming on.. A couple of times I have left the shops in a hurry to go home because I think its going to happen .. Poor shop assistant must wonder who the crazy lady is who spends an hour stacking her trolley carefully with groceries, and then just does a runner , and they have to put them all back on the shelves..!!

Kathy.. I don't blame you getting irritated about the smell of smoke. Since being diagnosed I often find myself saying something , rather than just biting my tongue like I use to.

joan811

 
Ahh spring has made me think I do not need to sit by the fire....but spring is WRONG!
I just looked back and I missed 18 pages here...a whole NY contingent (are they still around, or did y'all scare them off?)  We can always use a few more NYers here.

Ducky, you did say it perfectly -- your post about post dx and post treatment....how it feels to have everyone glad you are "fine" and glad that nobody has to talk about "it" any more.
Hey, that is why we are here....not to talk about BC but to be in a place where it's OK to blurt out now and then how much BC sux, whether it's us or somebody we care about.

Nights are still cool here...I think we can still gather for s'mores.

duckyb1

Thanks Joan.....I have always felt that way.......my children were wonderful throughout the entire ordeal.....some more attentive then others, but all cared deepl;;y about my well being.............however, and its a big however.

They dont' experience what we got through physically, and mentally with BC......they want it to be over, and for us all to move on.

So we come here, and join a group of women who know moving on is not always easy, and when we reach that sometimes "dark place" we can go to........there is someone who understands to help us put on our Big Girl Panties, and know we are not alone in this...........

You have to go through it to understand it...........and nothing could be more true.........its like your husband telling you "I know how difficult having the baby was".......................No you don't....you have no clue.......LO

mjh1

ducky - very well said and nothing could be more true

kathy7

I can't believe sometime I am in my own skin experiencing the intrusion,

S

blondiex46

Maya rose my first great grandchild 

1020am 8.2 

FireKracker

Congrats

Welcome to the world of GG..

So cute

Lucy55

Blondie.. She is just gorgeous.!! Congrats !! So happy for you 😃

crog234

Congrats Blondie. She is so cute!!!!

PoppyK

Oh, Blondie! How wonderful! So beautiful! Love the swirls of hair and the fists... and little mouth!

So happy for your family!

kathy7

Blondie, she is beautiful!  I love the bow on her head that is bigger than her!

I hope you have lots of cuddle time ! 

 

duckyb1

Blondie..............How wonderful.....she is sweet...........life goes on...........God is good.

duckyb1

Hot enough today in the Philly suburbs for this.........

Shea with her hands in the air...........Isabella her usaual mouth open probably whining...LOL, and Grayson always the little lady......sitting quietly just happy to be able to be in the pool. and sitting up............

Great Grands are wonderful..............look at what fun your gonna have Blondie.......

Lucy55

Ducky.. I love to see little ones playing like that.. And so good Grayson is in there., enjoying the sun and fun.too !

.

duckyb1

The sun was brutal yesterday.......went to my grandaughter's softball game without sunscreen on any part of my body.........Ok, seriously thought I needed it..............

I wore black long sweat pants, and a black T-shirt...........brought a bottle of water with me which I forgot and left in the car, and was not walking back to get all the way across the grass which is full of holes a bumps, and did not need to fall and break my ass, plus make a spectical of myself in front of the entire group of people watching the game.....

So by the timethe game was over.......my face looked like it belonged to CHIEF HA HA, FROM AN APACHE TRIBE,................I smelled like a "SMALL FARM ANIMAL" ffrom the sweat (thanks black cothes), and was so thirsty I drank the entire bottle of water when I got back in the car....................

_{Oh and for shits and giggles................because of my medicine I am not allowed in the sun..................LOL..........}

_{Now let anyone say I'm not a good Nannie.......................}

_{Oh and forgot this little happening.....................got stuck in traffic on the way home, and almost peed my pants from drinking the entire friggin bottle of water straight down, none stop........LOL.........}

_{Another day in the LIFE OF..............................guess who...........}

PoppyK

Ducky, Wonderful picture. I remember when my boys where that little.

duckyb1

My first is 57........they are his grandchildren............then we got to 56, 55, 51, 49, 46..............

kathy7

in a total Funk today.  the weather, which is ususally sunny is overcast.

I need to throw my funk in  a fire - along with my teenage son's attitude that he knows it all at 18!!!!

 

 

Tomboy

That's good! stuff on the fire! There is a chill in the air! I am throwing in my onc's P.A, who can't ever remember what she told me. Then when I repeat it back to her, says she never said it. I know she did, because she is the only one I talk to there, and SHE talks to MANY others. Just a little case of discussing meds. This is a person who wrote in my record that I had a hysterectomy. NOT!! Okay, all my loves, where art thou?

blondie, look at those long fingers she has! Artist!

geewhiz

I woke up to a text to pray for my sons teacher who has just progressed to MBC in her hip. She is 41. So I stand at the fire's edge this morning (It's the first thing I thought-get to the fire!!) and I pray for strength and peace for this woman's journey as I throw cancer on to burn. AGAIN.

geewhiz

Kathy7, my oldest is 19, and just got home last night from finishing his first year at college. This kid who used to sulk into his room, close the door, roll his eyes at me etc...could not stop chattering away to me all night! He has a car load of dirty clothes, barely had enough cash to eat and fill up with gas, looks like he hasnt shaved in a month and his hair stands 3 inches off his head because he said he couldnt afford a haircut...but he is home and so grateful and happy to be here. My heart was singing with joy. Hang in there!!

kathy7

Tomboy

that is scary!  what if you needed an arm removed and she wrote right instead of left.....

These are not good qualities in a medical professional.  Keep one eye open........always

duckyb1

In my hospital where I normally go......if you have any type of surgery.......they ask you at least 10 different times, and its 5 different people.....when you get there, when you are seen for the first time.....when your waiting for surgery......when you surgeon comes in before surgery......your anestatist........and in the operating room before they put you under........

Plus you are subjected to a huge "Sharpie Pen" being used to draw which body part they are going to work on......................LOL......maybe that's not fun to get off.......

Plus above you head is a sign that says what they are going to do to you.........

kathy7

I hope you all realize, that everything I write is sarcastic and suppose to be funny

-I hope and pray I  did not scare any one..................

I make a lot of inappropriate jokes at work and everyone who knows  me    -   I hope,   knows I am not sexually harassing, or diminishing the neg impact of cancer..... I just joke to relieve my stress.  It is better than meth, opiates, heroin    - the other alternatives, chocolate cake.  Okay, yes I am still on cake, but on a structured regime and have high hopes of coming down in a year or two.....

 

 

kathy7

Gee Whiz

all I can say is Gee Whiz!  Thanks for that - I know there is a future.   it is funny.  Cancer has been easy compared to teenage hood!

duckyb1

Kathy........same problem here........eveyrone doesn't have a sense of humor, ot they don't get the comedy in what is said.........

I am more concerned with hospitals screwing up your medicine then I am cutting off the wrong body part..........you know.....wrong med........too much..........actually when I was in the hospital the last time they were giving me my meds........

At the time I was on Letrozole, and I would only take TEVA brand because as bad as the SE's were, they were not as bad as the BRand..I think Novartis makes Femara.............

I looked at the AI when the nurse handed it to me and said "this is not Teva Mfg"........I will ask my kids to bring my AI from home, so take that one back........she was happy too, and completely understood what I was saying...........

The other thing is the anesthesia...that concerns me a tad too...............never did, but one whtever they gave me I could not wake up from.........first time it ever happened............it was a different hospital.............so when I had the next "wrist surgery"........at that hospital I took my paperwork from the hospital I normally go to, and said "this is what I want you to use".and they said "fine".........I got up as soon as the surgery was done........only reason I went to a different hospital was because the Dr. was the only one who did that kind of surgery on the wrist............and the anesthesai problem happened Pre-opt while they were doing a test to see how many ligament and cartlidges were torn.

So you have to be your own advocate......cause no one else is gonna look out for you.....

Lucy55

Kathy.. Yep.. Like Ducky says , we all have different sense of humours.. Sometimes Im talking to something... Say something I think is funny... The other person is there.. looking at me like I'm a weirdo.. and I have to start eexplaining I didn't mean what I said , my tongue was in my cheek etc, etc blah, blah.. 😃

kathy7

Lucy 55

My 13 year old son looks at me dryly and says mom, your delivery is horrible.

so I guess it is something to do with my timing,.........because you know it really is great material!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kathy7

Where is everyone?

Already on the veranda having Friday afternoon drinks?

See you soon!