TRIPLE POSITIVE GROUP
Comments
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Cindy u'r working hard for u. That's wonderful and I know I think chemo does a lot to our bodies and I'm 67 and it kicked my bitt. Altho I'm done with everything the aromasin is another story. So it sounds good what u'r doing and keep it up it'll help u. And bra stuff I don't know except like u said sport bras, they are so stretchy. I don't wear any bra anymore so I haven't kept up with bras. When I do wear a bra with the pretend boobs I call it my 2 hr. bra--It bothers me so much under my arms I csn ony wear it 2 hrs.
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camillegal - i hear ya about the 2 hours thing. I really can't stand bras. If they are to tight they dig under my arm pit on the affected side. Sometimes i feel i should have had both of them cut off too :-) Life as a female--ughh!!
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rozem - have you tried Valium? It is supposed to help with the pectoral stretching.
cindy68 - have you tried the Genie bras? They are pretty comfortable. I got them at Sam's I think - they were $20 for 3. I measure a 34DD after exchange (look like a natural C) but because I have implants I don't bounce so I can get away with a pretty flimsy bra. I like that the straps are wide and there is no hardwear - they just pull on or you can step in. The thin padding is also removable. Some people also like the Coobie but I have not tried them. Here are links:
http://www.geniebra.com/?gclid=CICenaPNprMCFQGFnQod_RsAQQ
http://www.shopcoobie.com/?gclid=CNKNl8fNprMCFQjznAodxAEA8g
Uh oh - I broke the thread and I wasn't even talking about sex!
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Tori,
I'm a Christian as well, but it didn't stop the darkness every cycle. I started keeping a SE journal at the beginning of tx. By the second tx I realized the darkness came about the same time as the first. By the 3rd tx, I knew, AHA! It is the tx! (I came to predict it just like I once predicted PMS ...lol). There was SO MUCH FREEDOM in the fact that it wasn't me losing my mind, or being negative, or whatever. I really do believe it is chemical combined with the physical toll chemo takes on our bodies.
Each tx the darkness stayed around a day or so longer. By the 6th, well, even though I was done with chemo, it didn't feel like anything to celebrate. I was POSITIVE during the dark times I would die within 12-24 months and leave my children and husband alone in the world. Though I didn't say so out loud, it was there staring me in the face.
God gave me just the amount of faith I needed to make it through (not extra lest I boast! lol). I have no doubt He will do the same for you.
Kay, young and mature Christians alike often struggle with the "why bad things happen to good people" question, as well as the "how could you let this happen?" IF the women in your group struggle with their faith over this, you might encourage them to seek counsel from an elder. Being a Christian actually adds one more thing to work out in your head (how BC affects your relationship with Christ, your witness, your stewardship)....besides the "what did I do to get this" and "how come I got it and so and so gets McDonald enemas everyday and they didn't?"
Personally I never got mad at God. He showed me very early, that this life for me was more hard than not. I can't even say BC is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Of all the things I'd list in the bad column, BC has a bigger positive side than the others.
Ok ladies.
Politics AND Religion.
We're really breaking some social rules now!
We're such outlaws.....hahaha.
Fear the thread!
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Cami, what Rozem said!
Rozem I didn't have that feeling so much I think because I was pretty numb in the boob area. Also, I have that unusually high tolerance to pain so I found out afer BMX. I do remember every day I felt better and better especially after week 3… but still soreness for a bit. The node removal on both sides was a bitch.
PFC I had my 49+1 birthday 2 weeks PFC. I felt like crap. Still bloated with digestive issues and very stiff. I was a little bitchy. I really had enough. But like I said week 5 things finally started to turn around. I did not enjoy my birthday at all… good thing I keep having more so I can make up for that shitty one!
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Kayb- your so right. I felt like somehow I was supposed to remain strong. But I have my weaknesses. I love my family, in that they allowed me to have those times and were just there if I needed them. I think the part I hated the most though was my joy. I just wanted and needed to feel that so badly. Plus, I believe that I allowed to many negative thoughts to get into my psyche.
Okay! Soooooo, they head is now shaved. I cried and I laughed. But now, sitting here, it feels a bit liberating. I don't know how I will feel later, but I'm kinda looking forward to a break from shaving, and styling. At least looking forward to all the money I will save in shampoo, conditioner and razors. Lol!0 -
SpecialK- I do think you broke the board again. If not talking about sex, then thinking of it or even typing of it on the board. Lol!
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Ha ha! Why is it only this thread? Also, it broke before I typed the word sex, but I might have been thinking about it, lol!
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TonLee - I think part of the mental thing is due to the loss of estrogen. You may have said that and I missed it, a lot of posts today!
Those on the east coast - Stay Safe!!
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I am getting all mixed up--who's saying what I have ro reread everything twice and still confusion reigns.
I just have to put my 1 cent in (times are rough) I don't believe that God won't give u more than u can handle---I believe life is random, if that were tru, there would be no suicide. Life is what it is and if u believe u can give u'rself strength thru u'r prayers for strength--That's the meaning of life according to Camille. U all know I have a screwy outlook on everything.
OK now a question about ME--it's always about me,me,me LOL--I told u my skin is awful, well it's startin to peel again--(not such a bad thing) but this is silly happening now, I'm getting so many SE like I did having Chemo--Can all this side stuff be from Aromasin or just my body still being crazy. This peeling stuff just started again I'm shedding like a snake.My nails are falling off, my skin is peeling, my dark circles are dark as can be and more and people wonder why I don't put my picture on my avatar--Ha but this is the perfect ime of year for me to go out in public. I have a self-made costume.
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Cami- I love your outlook. And ya still make me laugh. I'm not sure about the skin thing. Maybe a rebirth of sorts? Staying positive here. ;-)
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MsTori if that's true I'll look grest and post a picture of my arm.
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To determine who wrote which post look for the member's name in blue at the top of each message, and ignore the picture.
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Kayb, what a beautiful post to Ms Tori!
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Cam- hoping, key word. Lol! I keep hearing that its a rebirth. Okay, so I want the wrinkles to go too! And would like to have some collagen back.....guess that goes with the wrinkle disappearance. Blah!
My head is super sensitive. It's chilly here in Florida, so want to keep my cap on. How strange it feels with no hair. Maybe my hair will also have a rebirth. Wonder if I can put in an order for soft, wavy, non frizzy, caramel color hair with those lovely highlights I had as a child....hmmm. Haha!0 -
I think the board gets whacko when we post pictures for some reason. But I definitely don't want to stop Cami from posting her shots of the day!!!
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Wow, you are the coolest group of woman! Just home from herceptin treatment... the first without the other chemicals. Phew to no steroids anymore. Laughing, cuz I'm pretty 'stoned' from the bendadryl, but happy no reactions. (I cannot be held responsible for anything I say or do here today.)
MsTori, I wrote this post the day I shaved my head.. just sharing because so many people seem to think our discomfort at losing our hair is about vanity.. and I think it has so little to do with that. A myth that makes us feel bad.
http://musingalong.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/be-brave-be-blessed-be-bald-be-beautiful-be-who/
Wise wondrous woman here... one of you mentioned 'permission to feel', (but for the life of me, in my stonedness I can't find it again)... and I think that's what is making this group so cool. Seems everyone is showing up here with permission to be, feel, do what they want to feel, be, do more than I've seen in other groups. Yes!
Part of my process through this is to keep giving myself permission, and to constantly ask, "what might feel good right now?" or "How can I make this fun, or even funny?" Those result in me finding things, sometimes big, sometimes very little, that lift my spirit. I get to really try and live this, because it's also what I 'teach' in workshops and life coaching. So, feeling accountable to those who watch me helps me stay pretty true to it. On crashing moments, 'fun' might be me ranting rudely in my rant journal. ha! Having said that there's definately some rough moments. Also, having said that I also know that me being single, and no kids at home I can do this more easily than those with more home responsibilities. But still, what I see here is women being so honest and with permission to say what they want. You've all created a pretty darn 'safe' place to be!
pbrain, no cardiologist. Talked to nurses today who really seem most informed about side effects. Showed them exactly what was going on with legs, and they easily said, "ah, all of muscles, hamstrings are getting shorter." Again, recommendation to stretch and keeping as active as possible, but without overdoing (which is my tendency) I took up paddleboarding at the beginning of this.. so helpful for me because I could be as aggressive or as easy as I needed. Reached a point where my exercises of any kind were feeling like they were causing more harm than good.
I'm also being advised by my daughter who went through extreme chemo for a rare form of ovarian cancer two years ago. ya. really. ~SHE is now pregnant and doing awesome!!!~ But she also said there's a point where all my energy wants to go to supporting the chemo and healing the body that needs it most, and her efforts to 'overdo' muscle activities led to chronic problems. She figures because there really was no energy left to go heal over usedmuscles. Makes sense. So now, I walk as far as I can, knowing I also have to get home. ha! It's pretty short.
On the shortness of breath, heart rate, swelling, weakness when I do much at all... nurse asked what my recovery time is when I stop and it's only about 5 minutes. They have me watching to see if that increases and to call in right away if it does. Muga scan is scheduled and another ct for kidney. So, now I know more what to be aware of and onward I go. Yoho yoho.
Wow, one would think I'm steroided by how long this is. Hmm, wonder if my benadryled body is now so used to also have steroids at the same time, that it thinks it's steroided anyway. ha ha.
Happy healthy thoughts to all of you.
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solt thanks...i did post on the reconstruction thread and did get some replys from women who were having extended expander pain. Not many tho
Honestly, if they do not feel better by next week i will seriously consider taking them out and being an A cup. I could care less at this point, i want my life back, i've already given to much of it to cancer
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Rozem, I agree with Solt. Check out the mastectomy posts on this board and see what has worked for others. One of my friends at work had a BMX with reconstruction and she put up with the pain for a long time after reconstruction. She has since said she would have done what you are thinking and just accepted having smaller breasts. She's a fashionista and she said "heck, my clothes would fit better now! But no, I had to get larger boobs!" She looks beautiful, but says it will always feel like she has a band around her chest. No pain though, so keep the faith.
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First, Rozem, check out the TE trouble board. Since everyone is there because of TEs, someone might have answers.
So many people on the boards today and so many posts, thanks to Sol for recapping! LOL.
Welcome to Feelingthemagic. There are do many wonderful people here, it is amazing. best part is that there us usually at least one, but many times quite a few, who are on the up days when you feel down. There are enough hands to pick you up on your down days, and you can return the favor when someone needs a lift and you have the energy to help.
Speaking of energy, I finally am feeling some. Not much, but I made it through the grocery store, all the way around, paid for them and only had to sit once. Haven't had that happen since tx 1! LOL. I always feel like I should be farther along than I am, but then I force myself to remember I had two ops and six weeks of abx, since I finished chemo, and that my EF was down, so I have to cut myself some slack, even if I am 4 months PFC, 2 if you count from when Herceptin was stopped. Was that a run on sentence or what! LOL!
To all in Sandys path, please stay safe.
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So I met with the radiation oncologist today and he said he really didn't want to consider me as a candidate for the mammosite internal radiation because he doesn't feel there is enough long-term data on those who are Her2+. Do you know if I wasn't Her2+, I could have had a lumpectomy, intra-operative radiation and be done?
DANG IT!!! So now I get the 6 week external radiation treatments. Argghhhhhh! By gardening season I'm going to be a creeping, bald old hag!
Do the steriods make you nasty or short-tempered? My brother-in-law has chronic lymphocytic leukemia and he's undergoing them now because he's progressed beyond the biologics and is a few years away from needing chemical chemo. My sister is at her wits end because he is definitely not behaving like his usual sweet self...I don't want to be a MEAN, creeping bald old hag!!!
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Steroids kind of intensify EVERYTHING!
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Steroids were tough. gave me intestinal unhappiness and insomnia. I didn't like them at all. Might depend though on how the dosing is done. I got mine over a 12 hour period, about 50mg. Some women have them spread out, some get lower doses.
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Hi ladies!!! Ok...so the chemo nurses were joking around with me about what I was going to name my new boobs since my mastectomy is comimg up on November 6th. They suggested Thelma and Loise...
I told them "well, I guess since it IS Election Day I suppose I should name one Obama and one Romney."0 -
i have not tried those 2 bras. I will look into them. thanks
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Jenn! lol That's funny...dueling breast-esses!
Roze. I am so sorry you are still hurting. I agree with you though. I think we all have a line, at least mentally, of pain and aggravation we're willing to accept for boobs. Before you call it quits though....you may want them to take most of the fluid out and see if the pain goes away. You just may be one of those women who have really tight pectoral muscles which means expansion is uber painful. My PS told me he once expanded a woman 20cc's on each side at a time...that was it...because she had such a horrible pain reaction to the stretching.
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Solt, I almost choked on my dinner laughing when reading your post!
Feelingthemagic - welcome to this wonderful group of women. Smart, sensitive, funny, beautiful souls here - glad to have you join us.
moon - so glad you are starting to get more energy back. Yay!
rozem - sure hope those TE's start feeling better soon!!!
pbrain - steroids definitely gave me 'roid rage, esp after the last round. I was no fun to be around day 3-4 my last round...poor hubby.
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thanks so much ladies, i can't tell you how much your support and words of encouragement mean to me. Most of my friends/fam have moved past the cancer stuff and now i think they are mostly aggravated that i can't just get on with things. The daily phone calls of "is it better today?" are thoughtful but i feel like im letting everyone down when i i tell them i am no better than the day before
pbrain yes i have read that they will not do mammosite on her2/trip neg or any grade 3 for that matter. There is a cdn protocol of 19 sessions and they wont do that on aggressive cancers either according to my RO.
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Jennifer, when I had my lumpectomy in my left breast (which has always been bigger than my right), it was huge and full or saline and pissed off the next day. I told my girlfriend at work that at that point, the right breast was scared to death and was trying desperately to hide under my arm pit! It wanted to be nowhere near mondo-boob!
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