Not quite a horder - decluttering
Comments
-
Confession. I could stock a street fair booth with my purses. Always looking for the best one. I'm cheap tho. There's a consignment store near me that has great bags and I've found 2 pr Dansko clogs in my size.
0 -
what do you do with old vcr or cassette tapes? Cassettes may be commercial but the vcr are home movies/ceremonies. I have no desire to transfer them.
0 -
Zills--good question. I ended up throwing them in the trash. They were all commercial recordings or TV shows/movies I had recorded. Some I wish I had transferred to another medium as I can't find them commercially. Do you still have a player so you can see the family tapes from time to time?
0 -
Zills - I actually purchased a VHS player a couple of years ago. I have too many tapes I want to watch again when I get old (LOL). Since I haven't watched TV in years, all those old movies will be new again. I did cull my tapes though, and refused a "gift" of 300 tapes from a friend who had moved on to CDs. And another offering of 400 from my ex-DH. Everything else went to the Salvation Army.
We have at least one guy in Houston who still buys the tapes - particularly horror movies. Apparently there is a big cult following.
As for family movies & functions - I chose the best of the best and had them transferred to CDs at Costco when that process was on sale.
0 -
Zills, I wouldn't throw away the home video tapes just yet. Even if you don't care to transfer them to digital, at some point, one or more of your kids may have an interest in them somewhere down the road. They don't really take up much space (videos, not kids, lol!) so I would box them and put them on a shelf. Home videos aren't something that can be re-purchased at the store. Kids grow and change and become adults, and sometimes they look back over the years and would like to revisit a few memories, or show their kids what they were like as kids.
Here is a great tip I read recently in a book: leave a note with your tapes saying that when you are gone, your loved ones have permission to discard them if that is their choice. This alleviates any guilt they might have thinking the tapes meant more to you than they did.
Its actually a tip for all possessions. Leave a note or letter about items you are keeping for the time being but are perfectly fine with your kids and/or loved ones giving the items away if they have no need for them when you are gone.
The book I read that discusses this is “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning-How To Free Yourself and Your Family From A Lifetime of Clutter.” Many of us are doing this, whether we realize it or not.
- “Döstädning, which means "death cleaning" in English, is a new method of downsizing and organizing from the Swedish author and artist Margareta Magnusson. The approach is designed as an easy way for folks over 50 to purge their homes and organize their possessions in hopes that their children won't be overburdened by their belongings once they pass away, according to The Chronicle. Sure, it sounds morbid, but it's actually a pretty smart idea.
0 -
I love the death cleaning idea...I am packing for a move along with downsizing, and it is pretty much overwhelming. I can't imagine my poor kids having to do this job. My sister did much of the job when my Mom died...(I think I owe Sis big time)...but then again, my Mom really wasn't all that into material 'stuff'. We have way more junk than she did (and I say junk advisedly. About 2/3 of stuff is going into the dumpster, a donation pile or to recycling. Just not packing it unless I have used it recently (and it is pricey enough to be worth the cost of moving) or I just can't imagine not having it in my house. Oh well, making progress and time to get back to it..reading through posts on BCO is too good of a form of procrastination for me!
Octogirl
0 -
My "home movies" are of me, not the kids. Theirs are digital and one of these days that will get organized. The movies are of me belly dancing or white water rafting or Catholic ceremonies.
My mom or my sister still have a VCR. Maybe I'll view them one more time before deciding. Theyve been in a box for years.
0 -
Mrs. M--Döstädning may seem morbid, but also seems very logical to me. Priorities change over time, along with health and interests. I love the idea of putting notes on items.
Zills--good idea to look at the home movies. If they haven't aged well that will make the decision to get rid of them easier.
0 -
My Mother put notes on the back or bottom of most things. It was most disturbing when we went home to visit and picked up a vase for flowers to find "for Sue, was Grandma Bs", or a blanket "for Tom, was Pappys". First off: we shook our head & laughed at such a silly thing. Now I'm glad to have those notes and I am marking some of my own things.
Second: the choices she made of what to give each child were sometimes wildly at odds with our lives & interests. She "assigned" things we would never want or actively disliked. And she changed them over the years. Parents don't always make good decisions about their grown children. For example, my father-in-law had a watched engraved with his name. It was the only thing my husband wanted - and he was a 'jr' with the same name. His Dad left that to another son.
0 -
1st cut made on shoes and purses, yay! About 20 pair of shoes remain not including flip flops but progress is definitely being made.
0 -
Illimae - good job. Do you have a target move date or can you take your time?
BTW - It's amazing that you retired one day and did all this sorting the next. I think I'd have still been suffering the after effects of the celebration.
0 -
DH and would like to be in the cabin by mid-Dec but we want to clear out and sell our home first. This is our goal but there is no outside pressure or deadline. Also, I technically leave work on Tuesday the 31st, I’m just trying to get ahead as I am a big planner and moderate control freak by nature. DH is a big pack rat too, much effort will be required to keep him on task when he sorts his stuff.
For now I’m moving on to my car, it’s still cluttered from last weeks beach day. (Cooler, crab nets, sand, etc)
0 -
I downloaded the sample for death cleaning on the Kindle. Thanks for the link, I went right to it.
I am moving 8 chairs out of the garage.
I went to a garage sale though, and bought 30 acacia wood plates. In and out!
Interestingly, this woman had put about 10 bags to the street. A Mexican woman was going through the bags, and this made her upset. I had to tell the lady in Spanish that I was sorry, but her just doesn't want you to take stuff out of the bags.🤔 I totally believe that if you put it on the the road, it's up for grabs. There were things in the trash that I know that the Mexican woman could have used. It made me feel a little sad. Some people have so much.
0 -
illimae, you've inspired me to clear out my shoes. I'm getting up now to do it. Hubby is mowing the yard so I can get away with filling a trash bag without hearing the "you ought to put them in a yard sale" nonsense. I can barely empty the dishwasher these days; no way I could have a sale. He's pretty much perfect but will seldom part with anything. :-)
0 -
Muddlingthrough, I sorted through my shoes while DH was out too so I didn’t have to hear about how many shoes I do have, lol.
Mexicoheather, I agree that curbside is up for grabs, perhaps the woman would have preferred the lady just take everything rather that pick through it in front of her home, who knows but it seems sad to me as well.
Tomorrow I’ll do a 2nd run through my closet for clothes to give to a friend and some to donate.
Any suggestions on places to donate that aren't Goodwill, their resale prices are too high for most items compared to new at Walmart.
0 -
Illiemae - I take all my clothes & furninishings to the "Women's Home" Cottage Shop on 811 Westheimer across from Katz Deli. The proceeds all go to help women in crisis from an abuse situation, or women trying to re-build their lives. It's one of the few who take all seasons of clothes. Instead of just selling them for the 'rag' value, they have a basement and right now are storing winter clothes until they switch out with fall. I have a friend who takes nice suits to 'Dress for Success' and is very happy with their record.
https://www.thewomenshome.org/cottageshop/
For the big stuff, I call Salvation Army and they will pick up. It's been my experience - at least here in Houston - that they are the organization with the least overhead, and the most funds going to who needs the help & not the executives. 713-869-3551
0 -
Thanks Minus! I have my nice work clothes and shoes set aside for dress for success but the casual stuff is more tricky, sounds like the cottage shop is just what I’m looking for.
0 -
I love the Houston folks giving each other tips on where to take things!
0 -
Busy morning. I downsized sweaters today, originally keeping 14 and donating 11 but 2 made their way back into the closet. A friend gets 1st pick of the 9 sweaters, 6 pants/jeans, 4 capris/Bermuda’s and 7 tops, the rest go to the cottage shop.
After that I was on a role, so I did 2 loads of laundry, swept and mopped the living room and kitchen and I have a pot roast in the slow cooker.
So much to do but I’m feeling productive so far.
0 -
illimae, you've done a lot today! I did get the shoes sorted out yesterday and had a kitchen size trash bag full to toss. He did see it all tied up at the back door and when I told him it was shoes to throw away he only picked up the bag and took it to the outside bins. He knows what's happening and he looked mighty sad for a while. Today he is at the grocery store so I hurried into the closet and tossed out some other truly useless stuff but this time I got it out to the bins myself. Tomorrow, I am doing jewelry. Most is costume jewelry but a couple of nice rings and necklaces. I'll put a few things that were my mother's and grandmother's in a box for my sister but have no idea what to do with the rest. I'm stumped. Then, another day I need to tackle the....craft supplies <shudder> and lots more after that.
0 -
I hear ya, happy sorting 😀
0 -
MuddlingThrough, there is a market for older costume jewelry: you might want to check with a local second hand or consignment store for the pieces that aren't going to your sister..
I got a lot of packing and sorting done today. Even better, hubby cleaned out his half of the master closet! WooHoo!
Octogirl
0 -
Minus--parents and grandparents do make odd choices of what to leave to whom!
Illi--Major progress!Good for you!
Mexico--that's the way it is here, too, if it's on the roadside it's fair game, unless there is a price tag on it. Many of us, myself included, have gotten rid of some pretty big and expensive to trash items this way!
0 -
octogirl, good idea. That's exactly where I got some of the pins and things. She might buy them back. I'm not yet able to actually go to the shop but I will put it on the list. Physically, I could go but I have only a teeny bit of hair so I'm not going anywhere in this small town. I've tried to keep my situation completely quiet and have only gone to one place in town, once, when hubby had some important documents for us to have notarized. I had to wear a wig, and it was/is so ridiculous looking. I got three wigs and hate them all. LOL! My own hair may look like a real, intentional haircut in a few weeks, fingers crossed!
0 -
Interesting comments about what things parents want give to which children/people. MinusTwo, the watch story is truly puzzling!
My MIL is still living, but recently moved in with her daughter, so dh and I dealt with cleaning out her apt on our street. Three years ago, she downsized from the family home where she lived 67 years. At that time, she passed along some items to her kids, whatever we'd given her in forms of gifts over the years, she returned to each one of us. When dh and I cleaned the apt, she wanted us to divy out the remaining things the same way. It was weird. It felt like I'd been judged by what we gave her. She has four kids, and 8 grandkids, and at 89 years old, she remembers exactly who gave her what. I didn't give her things in order to get them back down the road.
0 -
DivineMrsM, for the last ten years of her life, one of my grandmothers would place items on a table and when we grandchildren (all 13 of us, and all adults) came on Christmas Day, she'd take us to the table to select our gift. A little odd, but...okay. Here's the funny part. I chose a pretty square plate once, and I took some food to the family reunion on it the next summer to show her I used it. She grabbed it up and said "oh, here is my plate! How did you get it?" . She didn't believe me. Needless to say, I never took anything from her Christmas table again, nor anything from her home when she died even though my aunts wanted all of us to.
I only have one child and ultimately that poor kid will inherit generations of household stuff from the other side of my family and from my DH's family. I am determined to lessen the load as.much as I can while I still have some time. He lives in a small apartment in NOVA and as a single 28 year old he has no interest in five sets of fine china, a silver tea set, old furniture etc. Even if he marries someday, they should choose what THEY like, not feel forced to give house-room to our old stuff.
0 -
Divine- wow about your MIL and keeping inventory of all the gifts through the years. I could never remember that. I have people tell me through time "you gave me this for my birthday, Xmas, graduation." I always stare like "really, I did?" I cannot remember who I gave what or vice versa?
Some also see gifts as a measure of what they think is an ongoing relationship. I have a couple people who I barely talk to any more (friends and family), but insist we keep exchanging gifts for birthday and/or Xmas. I finally wrote to one this spring for her birthday (before mine), and said I was going to pass on doing any more exchanges as I am trying to "simplify". She sent me something odd anyways for my birthday a few weeks later. I think I have talked about her here before, she gives me things for my house that don't fit (nor do I have room for). She has never been to my house either and everything gets donated. And I also have a former SIL who still sends a Xmas gift. I may be seeing her in passing on an upcoming trip and going to have the same conversations "let's skip the gift exchange." I tried once before and she ignored it, going to be a bit more pointed about it and in person. Stuff is not a relationship....
0 -
I need some of that energy! Kids gone to camp. Have a big to do list but want to nap. I can't remember what presents I gave or receive. We only do the kids now and the 20+ years old are getting kicked off the list.
My mom said she would come over and help with some of my to do list. She told me to take the stuff I need to donate and get it out of the house. I think that's funny because I really don't have much to donate! At least not until the weather changes and I can get rid of the kidssummer clothes.
0 -
I love this thread! It's so motivating. It's also reassuring to read how we have similar situations and thoughts about all the Stuff. I am trying to toss stuff little by little because we hope to downsize in a few years. Also I have one child who is in college, and I don't want to leave her with the burden of having to go through all of it by herself. She also doesn't want anything from my house. My mom is in assisted living, but she still has her house which is fully furnished. About 8 years ago, she and my dad cleaned out the house - well a lot of it, anyway. Thank goodness they did, but there is still an amazing amount of stuff. I'm afraid that I am going to be left with a mess on my hands and no one to help me. I have two sisters - one who lives 1500 miles away and the other close by. My DH says that the close-by sister will come pick up anything valuable and leave me with the mess. The far-away sister will just tell me what to do. I think he's spot-on.
0 -
I surprised myself! Condensed some holiday boxes and school supplies. Got rid of three tubs! And I do have a pile for good will and my sister.
Three tubs waiting to scrapbook. And my desk is piled up. But I've made visible progress.
My big delima is I have no storage. I have about 4 tubs that I refuse to put in the garage. I'm thinking about buying a screen and putting them in the corner of the basement.
0
