Not quite a horder - decluttering
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I don't know any specifics, but there are organizations who send books to prisons and to schools in poor countries. Around here there are little libraries. People build a little house on a pole and put books in it. They are free to take and you can also donate books. It's fun to walk by one and see what's in there.
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update on my hoarder neighbor....some of you may recall when this thread as first created I discussied my hoarder neighbor. Her situation was seriously dangerous. Before contacting the town's building code inspector....I discovered one of her adult daughter's work numbers and called her. She told me that neither she nor her sister would get involved nor would they visit their childhood home. Their mother was welcome to visit them...but they would not return home while their mother was alive.
Suffice to say...they kept their word. Three weeks ago....their mom passed and they returned and were shocked by what they found. And as horrific as they found the home....it was even worse several years ago before I contacted the code enforcers!
While grieving...these two sisters worked for several days wearing gloves and masks attempting to find some personal and sentimental items. Sadly...due to health and safety concerns they abandoned their efforts.
While I pity these young women...it is so hard for me to feel sorry for them. I realize their mother's hoarding was caused by an emotional illness...but...I am angry at all of them for putting us neighbors and first responders in harm's way!and our property values! Oy!
Sisters....if you love your families and neighbors...please get your homes in order. In the last few years I have torn apart my home and my 91 year old mom's home and....we both feel liberated.
I will never do what my neighbor did to her children. In the end it is sad that her junk meant more to her than her children and grandchildren. And what is also sad is whatever those daughters wanted to salvage was ultimately unsalvageable.
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I've come for inspiration. So many times I've passed over this thread, afraid to visit because that may mean I need to take action, but I had surgery on Friday, so I'm home for the week and at least hope to tackle my closet.
Scrolling through the posts I noticed a lot of good ideas. One post described donating puzzles, games, containers, etc to teachers and used bedding to animal shelters. That really made me chuckle. I'm a teacher and I have 4 big rescue dogs. I'm the one everybody gives their crap to! Lol.
It's time for a purge. I'll check in more often and try to keep on track with decluttering.
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Welcome Debiann. This is an inspiring thread.
DIL's mother is a hoarder. I have never, and will never, see her house, but DS tells me what it's like. He used to call us hoarders until he saw her house. It is definitely an illness and the person who hoards is unwilling to get rid of anything. DS says he goes thru DIL's clothing regularly and throws out anything with holes or rips. She never mentions it, so perhaps she doesn't notice. Or perhaps she's grateful, I don't know. She also leaves empty jars in the frig which drives him crazy.
We could get rid of half our stuff and never ever miss it. I think we have 5 soup pots (for 2 people). We have 2 large salad bowls that we should consign or give away. We don't have parties for the whole family any more, so never use them. I have done my clothes to a large extent. I went from a 14 to a 10 to a 12, so it's hard to get rid of the 14's. I need all the inspiration I can get.
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Debiann - welcome. Glad you're joining us.
VR - very sad. I guess I missed it when you told the story before. Will they have to gut the house down to the studs?
Wren - During chemo I went from a 14/16 to a 6. Never in my life have I been smaller than a 12 - except for two very expensive outfits from Neimans many years ago when I bought 10s on sale. So you can imagine how concerned I was about getting rid of my "normal" clothes. I did sort & toss lots of things, but kept most of the pants. I have LONG legs so pants are hard to find. My niece was thrilled to have the Size 6 & 8 clothes once I finally returned to my default 12. Now I just have to make sure I don't go over that.
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www.prisonbookprogram.org www.prisonlit.org
This one is a women's prison book project. https://wpbp.org/
And here's some info on international book donations from the American Library Association http://www.ala.org/offices/iro/iroactivities/intlbookdonations
I donate mine to my local library's Friends of the Library group. They have a big sale twice a year which brings in a lot of money for our library system. If you have kids books, your local schools might have a group that gives them to poor kids or could use them in their libraries.
I too cannot stand the thought of books ending up in a landfill.
Also: old meds/vitamins/supplements are incinerated. They are placed in those hazardous waste containers,, like you see in the hospitals for used needles/syringes, and they get taken to a facility to be burned up.
Welcome Debiann! Yes, I've taken old bedding and rugs and towels to my local Humane Society. 4 rescue dogs?? Wow!
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FYI, about disposing of old meds. When mom died, the hospice nurse took her medications, put them in a zip lock bag, added dish soap and a little water and then threw them in the trash. Better than flushing.
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minus...that is a very good question....the last time the town came in....they used a backhoe...I am almost sure that the house will be razed to the foundation. I think the squirrels coexisted with her for too many years. I am sure that the walls are filled with mold caused by the squirrels' infestation.
My neighbors and I are expecting a circus.
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Vor- wow and so sad. Hoarding is some type of mental illness, a friend of mine just went through this with her father who had been filling their house with crap for decades. His favorite thing to do was to visit the dump on the weekend with the kids to pick out junk. She had never told me about her father's hoarding thing until he became very ill and then it became her mother's and her problem to sort out. I told her to hire company to go in and clean things out and they did. Her dad passed away earlier this year and the whole hoarding thing left such a bad feeling for both her and her mother. It was not until he became incapacitated that they could really take over. Those kids may not have been able to cope with that situation with that mother so they stayed away. But now they have to deal with it and if the situation is that bad, they may just take the structure down, sell the property and let someone start over.
I always think there is a line between clutter and hoarding. That is why it is good to constantly get rid of stuff how ever you can!
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As my parents got older they enjoyed going to garage sales. They would buy stuff they didn't need, but it was such a good price they couldn't pass it up. They were the most organized hoarders you've ever met. Shelves lined with all there finds, 3 toasters, 4 crock pots, box of fishing reels, etc. My dad passed 7 years ago, but when my kids or I need something we still say "did you go shopping in mammy's attic first?"
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My Mom's house was super organized and clutter free. Don't open a drawer or cupboard though. After she died, 25 years after my marriage, we found my wedding dress under her bed along with a net heart filled with bows from my shower. It was totally organized, but what a lot of stuff. We hired an auctioneer to deal with it. He said not to throw anything away because you wouldn't believe what people would buy. It made money and we didn't have to deal with stuff. While they were working, they bought and stored things they would need to replace after retirement, such as sheets, towels, etc. Not a bad idea, really, as my stuff gets worn out and the prices have gone up so much.
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Wow it has been forever. Have had a long year with health issues but hanging in there. Just wanted to say this past summer my noyfriend and a neighbor combined a yard sale and my basement is 70% cleared out. I gave a lot away darned near but it had to go and now I feek so much better about going down there.
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Bunkie, So good to see you. Sorry about the health issues. Getting 70% out of the basement is awesome (burning wouldn't have counted). Just think about someone buying something at your sale that they couldn't buy new. That always makes me feel better about seeing things leave.
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Oh Wrenn - why can't we count burning? It looks like that may be the only way the "stuff" gets moved out of my house.
Yes Bunkie - nice to see you. I hope this thread will become more active again after the holidays.
VR - what happened with the house? did they take to the studs or level it?
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Bunkie- sorry to hear you are not well, & best wishes for better days soon. That clean out sounds wonderful!
I had about 6-7 bags of stuff I have been trying to take to my favorite shelter. Although they were glad to have them last year, this year, it has been difficult to get them to accept anything (limited windows for drop off, no one ever calling back, etc.) So I told myself to find another group and there is a big Big Bros/Sister truck that is parked on the weekend near my house. So last weekend, they got all my goodies. I have also donated to them in the past (they took old TVs when I upgraded to flat screen). Yay for more stuff out!
I am finishing a project here end of the year and will have some time off early 2017. Got more de-cluttering to do in the new year!
Keep it going ladies and wishing you all a lovely holiday and blessings for good health in the new year!
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perhaps you all may recall the tragic story i told about my horder neighbor whose daughters said long ago that they would never visit her home although she was welcome in their homes in other states. To say it was a tragedy understates what was happening for decades...until three months ago....when she finally passed. At the end of the summer, my neighbors and I saw a small flurry of activity that was at the house...
What we know now is that she was suffering from cancer and the daughters took her out of the house. A few weeks hence, she passed. A day afterwards, the daughters entered the home with masks and gloves to begin the process of clearing the home and attempting to find some salvagable mementos.
All I will say at this point is hording is an illness that is sufferable to not only the horder, but to everyone around them. It pushed these daughters away and it alienated the neighbors as well. We tried for years to make her and our neighbors AND the first responders SAFE.
The only relief that I have now, is knowing she didn't die alone in the house.
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Voracious- yes, I remember that story. So sorry to hear this, but am glad she was not alone at the end. That would have made the story that much worse.
My best friend who lives back east is probably a hoarder. She runs a vintage clothing business out of her home, and so there is much there but think it goes beyond that. She is often told by family that she has a problem and defensive about it. I have not been in that house for years, and the last time I visited in 2014, when I said I would stop by she got very defensive with me. I just a card from her and she and her husband are not doing well on any level. Hoarding has a variety of faces and behaviors. As I live 2000 miles away and cannot get back there as much as I used to, it is hard for me to know exactly how bad things are.
Another friend here whose father passed away was a well known hoarder by many, and it created huge issues for the family. As he declined, they were able to take control of the house and get the junk cleared out. It has left them more bitter than anything in this year after his passing to have to have either lived with that or responsible for the clean out.
I am grateful I have a small home. My parents were hoarders of some degree.
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DS used to accuse us of being hoarders until he met his MIL and saw her house. DIL said she went away to college and when she came home for Christmas her former room was completely full. That's going to be a huge job when she goes. The house is worth a lot because it's in SFO walking distance to the beach. I have no idea how many dumpsters it would take to clear it out.
VR, I'm glad your neighbor didn't die there alone. The daughters must have established some relationship to get her out. I just hope she wasn't too mad at them to be nice.
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I look back on the WWII generation and understand why they saved things like tin foil & string. Along with the war needs, there were so many shortages that people had to keep things to make do & patch up what they could still make work. So many people who were raised really poor feel the need to get & keep "things" as they became more stable or successful.
Friends laugh at me for washing out ZipLoc bags and re-using. I certainly don't re-use bags with meat or spaghetti sauce, but if the bag only held bread, yes I do. And I wash out glass jars to hold the nails & tacks in the garage.
My mother always had tons more than the amount of canned goods & staples that she could use. I know they were hungry when she was young. I also know she went to the grocery store as seldom as possible. I sort of inherited some of both traits. We don't have a decent grocery store that's close so I try to limit my shopping to every two weeks. And I always have a back up of staples. Open a new mustard or mayo or whatever - replace it in the pantry so there's always one on hand. But I limit myself to just one of two cans of things like tomato sauce & chicken noodle soup.
My biggest problem is paper. Old letters, old diaries, saved 'tips & tricks', the Life magazine of the Moon landing, my son's grade school projects, and all of the paperwork to do with breast cancer - which I swear reproduces at night while we sleep - just like the coffee cups do in the cupboard. Trust me - I do not save the daily newspaper or most of my magazines though. Before my recurrence I had almost emptied one of my two file cabinets. I hope I can gear myself up to tackle the boxes & piles of paper again after the first of the year.
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Minus Two, Everyone up here is into recycling and many people (including us) wash zip lock bags and reuse to keep more plastic out of the environment. Plastic bags are banned in Seattle, so we get some from DH when we visit there. It's a good idea not to have plastic bags, but I resent the space my bag takes in my purse. Our nemesis is New Yorker magazines. DH doesn't want to get rid of them until he's read everything of interest and the *%#@ things come every week. He doesn't have time to keep up, let alone read the past issues.
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Wrenn - Of course this is Texas - as I know you are aware from your 'previous' life. I personally carry my own cloth grocery bags in my trunk or request paper bags, which I recycle. But plastic is ubiquitous. Galveston is trying to ban plastic bags to help the marine environment, but it looks like the State will shut down their fledgling law.
I'm like your husband with The Atlantic. I enjoy savoring every little bit. At least it's a monthly. But my downfall is Bookmarks Magazine. I can NOT bring myself to throw them away. I actually mark books I want to look for and re-visit the magazines frequently.
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MinusTwo, you say your biggest problem is paper - old letters, old diaries, children's projects etc. These are the areas that I would find enormously hard to declutter, with all the emotional and sentimental aspects that they have. A year ago I reread some old diaries and letters (when people wrote letters!) from my early 20s (30 years ago) and found them quite fascinating and thought-provoking. As for my children's schoolwork etc., they are now young adults and I know I need to cull some of it but never all of it.
It's my husband who in fact has the hoarding problem, keeping ancient papers, hundreds of books, all sorts of what I call 'complete junk'. We have a lot of storage in our house so it's not obvious to visitors but I don't want to leave an enormous clearout problem for our kids when we are gone or physically unable to deal with it. This causes stress between us as he doesn't see it as a problem, sigh.
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I have a problem with magazines too. I never seem to quite finish reading them and then they lay around until I get back to them,,,, months later,,,
Just switched my Audubon subscription to online, so that's one less magazine!
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glennie 19 - I flip thru my magazines and then take them to my Dr apts and drop them off in the waiting rooms. That way others can enjoy them. I subscribe to about 30 mags a month. I used to cut out recipies etc but now I just read thru them and recycle them.
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Hi to all. I caught up on the posts from the past few months. I always feel like decluttering at the first of the year. Voracious, what a story about your neighbor, and yes, the hoarding is a mental illness.
Bunkie, that is lots of work, clearing out seventy percent of your stuff, good for you.
Flavia, thanks for the tip on desposing of old meds. I had been prescribed numerous different antidepressants after bc dx that made me ill so I stopped taking them which I still have but want to be rid of them. Wasn't sure how to do that.
But, glennie, could a person just toss the meds in an outdoor firepit? Cuz that sound easy, too.
Deb, I'm not a hoarder by any means. But your story about "shopping" first at your parents' place is something I have learned to do at my own home. The last few years, I bought very few new Christmas decorations. If I needed something, I went "shopping" thru my old stuff first. I found I could create new looks using old stuff. And this year as I was putting out Christmas decor, I set anything too tired looking into a box and will either garage sale it or give it to Goodwill.
I also think about purchases, do I need this? Is there something I already have that I can use instead? Many times, the answer is yes!
I did a reasonably good job in 2016 with keeping the house less cluttered but there are areas that need tweaking and I look forward to purging more.
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One wonderful thing dh and I did this year was sell a rental house we'd owned for 10 years. To be rid of the burden of owning that place is priceless. I look forward to finishing up filing taxes and being done with ever having to include it again on taxes after this year. Glad I will have no more paperwork on it after that. Glad to only have our house to be responsible for. We spent all our spare time during the month of May making small repairs and cleaning and painting. It was such a pain in the rear. But I knew it was the last time we would have to do it. The house sold in a few months and it feels like a big boulder rolled off our chests. We made a small profit, but I have to wonder if we'd just invested the money ten years ago that we put into the house if we'd have made the same profit with a heck of a lot less work! Oh well, all said and done now!
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Divine- congrats on selling the house!
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Never thought about putting old meds in a fire pit. Guess that would work. Hospitals sent stuff off to be incinerated. The main thing is to not flush them to contaminate the water supply, or just throw them in the trash where they could pollute the environment at the landfill, or someone could steal them out of your trash. Our local fire dept has a med day once or twice a year where you can bring old meds to them for disposal. You could also ask at your pharmacy.
Divine, congrats on selling the house. Now that is some de-cluttering!
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There are med drop off days around here from time to time, but I feel very self conscious about doing that. Like there would be police officers there who would judge me or talk about me behind my back for dropping off antidepressants. I do not know how it works, but thats all I can picture! So I have held on to the stuff not know what to do with it
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rip the labels off of your bottles? Just a thought.
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