Not quite a horder - decluttering
Comments
-
Hey Ya'll! I lurk here for much needed inspiration. I have the motivation; I just need the energy! (And maybe a new husband!)
I just learned that Amazon has partnered with Goodwill to make dropping off donations easier.
Amazon will provide free shipping labels to make donations directly to Goodwill. You can use an Amazon box or any other shipping box. You can print the shipping label online and schedule a pick-up date for drop the box off using UPS or USPS. Amazon will even print a tax receipt for you.
Has anyone done this? Seems like a great idea, especially for those of us who have trouble getting out........
0 -
Shep - where I live, Salvation Army will schedule a pick up to your front door within 7 days for ten or fewer boxes/bags. In 14 days they will schedule whatever load you need - including large furniture. My research showed that the amount of money spent for admin is the least at Salvation Army so more funds go to the needy and not the 'organization'. I try to call every month or two even if I only have one box. I leave the box(es) on the porch and they leave a receipt under my door mat.
Edited to say - this is based on the last time I looked at the statistics for all major, national companies that accept donations
0 -
Ha ha Teka. I shake out my shoes and boots too!
0 -
Jazzy, In NM, that's a very good idea. I do it if they've been in the closet for a while without being worn.
0 -
Hi, how do you all deal with it when it's your husband who's the hoarder? We have lots of storage so visitors don't see all the junk. He keeps ancient papers, journals, magazines, university essays, letters, all taking up lots of cupboard space. I've tried to talk to him about it in terms of how unfair it is for our kids to have to deal with all this when we are gone, but he gets annoyed with me and refuses to engage. I'm getting really frustrated.
0 -
My Mom tried to make my Dad keep all of his papers in the basement. When that was overflowing, he added the garage. In 2007, he had every check stub for every job from 1925. It would have been fun to read through the history, but there's never time for that. I also discovered my Mom kept papers too - just a different kind and "hidden" in boxes under beds or in her closet or the back of cupboards.
Unfortunately as hard as I've been trying, I think my organized boxes & file cabinets of "papers" will be my son's trial after I'm gone. Who am I kidding, he'll never go through them. He'll either haul them to a shredding company or hire a truck to come to the house.
0 -
Minus Two, that's exactly the scenario I'm trying to avoid it. My mother is such a bad hoarder . She needs to sell her house but she simply cannot get rid of the junk . Which is very frustrating to me because she needs the money but will not part with her junk . And by junk I do mean junk. There is nothing in that house that you couldn't find in your average thrift store. My siblings and I are coming to realize that this will become our problem. My mother simply cannot deal with it and she will not deal with it.
I am not a hoarder. I have no trouble going through stuff and get rid of things. My husband likes to keep random things, but it's not too bad. What he saves wouldn't even fill the corner of one room so I let him have his little pet projects. Today our goal is to empty out all the closets and take all the clothes and things we aren't using over to the thrift store. Get that last tax credit, LOL
0 -
Optimist, you almost can't do anything with someone else's "stuff". Only take care of your things. My husband would be considered a clutterer and not a hoarder. He is a little sloppy, so from time to time, I will organize the spare room where he keeps his clothes. I never throw anything of his away. I straighten the clothes in the dresser and line up the tshirts in the closet by color, fold the jeans on the top shelf. I tell him if he wants to get rid of anything there is a spot in the house where he can set things that go to Goodwill.
Instead, I focus on my stuff. We had a spare closet in the exercise room and at one point it was full of clothes, but I gradually took mine out and sent them to Goodwill. My husband was surprised when I told him it contained all his stuff, that I did not keep anything in there. That got him realizing he had more than he thought because it was pretty full.
He has a garage that I would like him to declutter this spring. Not sure it will get done. Some of it you have to learn to live with. Don't make your husband's issues your issues. Tidy your own things. He is an adult, let him figure it out. Tho you want to spare your kids the hassle of going through his things, you may not be able to. Just move on.
0 -
DS says he's taking the photos and dropping a match on his way out.
0 -
Sorry about your stubborn husband, dear Optimist52. We really cannot change other people's behavior. Thank God you can at least stash his stuff out of site. You may have a negotiating chip if it ever gets to be so much that it is out in the open - - let's hope it does not go to that point.
If he dies before you do, you and the children can burn his stuff in a memorial bonfire.
0 -
Interesting thought Wren. I may pass it on. My son didn't want me to get rid of my Lenox china 10 years ago because he might want it some day. It's a pattern with a gold rim that you have to hand wash. He'll never use it. They don't have company and they usually eat in front of the TV. Now he's admitted he doesn't like "stuff". Too bad I didn't get rid of it then because now all of those 'treasures' of 'older' generations are flooding the market. Sigh.
0 -
I saw a Clutter Coloring Book at our neighborhood toy store. The drawings looked like a lot of my house with books everywhere and closets overflowing. I think it would be exhausting to color. It's pretty exhausting to see.
What do you do about changing clothing sizes? I keep bouncing between 2 sizes. Right now I'm in the smaller one and running out of things to wear. But I don't want to buy a lot of small ones because I gained it back last year. It's annoying trying to get outfits together. The pants fit but the top is too big and vice versa.
0 -
Thank you DivineMrsM and OncoWarrior, you are both quite right, I need to come to terms with my husband's hoarding tendencies. I know they are not terrible in terms of what some people do. I think it's partly his refusal to even negotiate about it that bothers me so much. I've helped to clear out various relative's houses and often wondered why they didn't get rid of a lot of their stuff when they were alive. It does place a burden on those left behind and I don't want to do that.
0 -
I badger the DH and then I give him some time and then tell him I am removing stuff from the house. last weekend, he thought he was leaving the house for a few hours....that is until I put a stop to it. The weather was beautiful and I told him it was time to straighten out the garage....which I had been reminding him for weeks. i made myself available and began by removing some boxes and then he joined in the action for an hour and a half. Done! Everything is in place and I can easily get my car into the garage... twice a year I swing thru the attic too!I am a tornado. I give prior warning and then just hit the ground running! That said....
The DH is a ham radio operator and an electrical enginneer and computer scientist. My basement? Oy! Don't get me wrong, it is furnished and a great room to chill in and exercise, but the area which is designated as his "man cave" will be donated to the Smithsonian when the time comes....the funny thing is, from time to tme he does put computer stuff on the sidewalk and it does disappear within hours....once, someone rang our bell and asked if any of the stuff worked! To me? It is all a bunch of plastic and scrap metal...
The kids? They each are the owner of one large Rubbermaid container of stuff that when I finally move will also be on the curb unless they come and retrieve it. With the DSs living far away, they have already cleared out most of their stuff....so I am not toooo concerned....
DD....OMG....My attic is FILLED with her wedding gifts and all of her infant son's stuff. She swears she is buying a house soon and taking all of her stuff. Yeah....
And to make matters worse...I was in Sears today buying the DH a new tool! He needs a new tool like I need a toothache....
And so it goes....
0 -
Optimist, I have also cleaned out several loved ones homes when they passed. It happened that my grandmother, father, mother and aunt passed away within four years of each other and each had their own place. My siblings and I sorted thru quite a few memories as well as "stuff".
Even tho my Dad was tidy and had many things in order, he still had a house full of stuff that required us to sort thru. Much of his stuff could be used by one of us or our adult kids. Furniture, appliances, even his car.
An aunt with some mental issues had a house full of old things. Most of it was junk, but if you sorted through it, you would come across some true gems, like photos of us kids when we were little. It was worth going thru the junk to come across finds like that.
0 -
I started last year following this book. The Life‑Changing Magic of Tidying Up Marie Kondo I plan on continuing. So far the master bedroom and kitchen have been completely done.
0 -
Fairy, I read the book as well as the follow-up to it, they are my favorite books on decluttering. They really gave me great direction. Many, many things in order around my house now, and when they get out of place, or cluttery, it is much easier to tidy up, I have the knowledge how to get order back. I also thnk more about buying things. I will ask myself f they spark joy, clothing, home decor, ect. If they don't, I pass
0 -
DivineMrs.M--The hardest thing I'm having issues with is the paperwork. It has taken me months to go through it all. It's just hubby and me no kids so this should be interesting..
0 -
Ugh....I hate the paperwork, too. I approach it a little at a time. When I am home alone, sometimes I will sit and watch tv and go through a folder or box of papers. Anything needing shredding, I put in its own pile and then do it at a later time.
0 -
Thanks for the encouragement ladies. Got my spare room sorted in time for my Grandsons visit. We had a wonderful time.
0 -
Smurf, wow, looks fantastic!
0 -
Nice work, Smurfette
0 -
Doing my every 2 year purge once again, and every time I go through kitchen cabinets, things in the garage, etc. I do so with a different eye. Going to let go of a few more of the things I took from my mothers house 12 years ago when we cleaned it out when we had to move her into assisted living. Those are the hardest to let go of, but after having them here that long, and it has been almost 5 since she passed away, I just tell myself I have far too many dishes (and don't use most of hers). I have some things cleaned, wrapped up, and ready to go to the consignment shop this next week. It's a process for sure!
Here is another dilemma. I have an old friend in another state who likes to exchange birthday and Xmas gifts with me. The past couple Xmases, she has been buying me wall hangings for my house. Although they are nice and very appreciated, I don't have room for any more stuff like this. Plus, most of it does not go with my decor (she has been to visit in the past, but not in the 14 years since I built this house and does not have a sense of my home). I have two Xmas gifts she gave me the past few years, including one that I just got in December, I am thinking of taking with me to the consignment store this next week.
I am less concerned about her coming to visit and not seeing her things here (she has not been to visit in 14 years so I am not expecting a visit any time soon?) But rather, I am more thinking about a good way to tell her that maybe we need to find a better exchange? I have given her gift certificates before, one to Chicos where she buys clothing for her job, more recently a gift to one of the theaters as she and her husband love to go Friday afternoons to catch a show. She seems to like these things.
We are both March babies so this will come up again soon. Most of my family and friends get me what I consider consumables or something related to having an experience because they have been to my home and know I don't have room for lots of extras. Harry and David Pears, Peets coffee, a lovely amaryllis, or concert tickets are things I got this past holiday. My thought is to say my focus in the new year is to create more experiences through gifts and ask her how she liked the movies? And then suggest I would like to do this create-an-experience gift from now on? I certainly cannot tell a person what to give me for a gift, but want to change what I am doing and hoping she picks up on this so that I can tactfully discourage any more home decoration things I have no room for.
Any of you had to ask people not to give you stuff and if yes, how did you do it without offending the intent of the gesture?
0 -
jazz - I have collected small boxes most of my life - ceramic, wood, Limoges, etc. People started sending them by the ton. About 5 years ago I told everyone that while I loved the boxes, I had no more room on my shelves. No one seems to be upset. Most of us have switched to consumables also - Amazon or Barnes & Noble gift certs for books, a bottle of expensive gin that I'd rarely buy for myself, restaurant gift cert, etc. I have discussed with several people that we all have way too much stuff & I'd like to cut down to things we can "use up". For the most part, it has worked. I like your term 'experience gift'. Good luck.
0 -
Jazzygirl, I can certainly relate to your post with family members in particular regularly giving far too much "stuff" at Xmas and birthdays. I suppose if you express your thoughts reasonably and tactfully, it should be fine with your friend. I personally find these conversations more difficult with family members unfortunately. Good luck!
0 -
Thanks ladies.
Jazzy I'm sure most of us can relate. It's not an easy conversation. Fortunately most of our family and friends have got the hint now and we mostly get photos, a drawing by the grandkids or consumables these days.
0 -
Perhaps a good way to put it would be to say it's your New Year's resolution to not bring anything in this year. Edibles excluded. And maybe mention something you've decided to do more of like read or see movies. That way she would have a clue what you would enjoy.
0 -
Wren- I really like that! Makes it non-personal. I will put it out there to her soon and let you know what happens!
I am pleased to have a couple containers now of kitchen and related serving things to take to consignment and/or Habitat Restore. The consignment shop is closed today but will call tomorrow to find out when the owner is on site (she is the one who decides what to take and needs to be there when you bring things in). My cabinets are looking good, and I have found some things I forgot I have! I almost think I could be ready for a dinner party next!
We share sometimes how hard it is to let go of things with sentimental value. I realized this last cabinet clean out that so much of my mothers dishes don't have any sentimental value. But it has taken some time to be ready to let go of them. On the other side of the coin are things given to me by people who are no longer in my life who don't bring back a warm and fuzzy feeling. I have one such item from a former friend from 30 years ago. I have not used the item in years, and it is mostly a negative reminder of the person who gave it to me. Today I asked myself why I have kept this? No good answer came. It is packed up and ready to go
0 -
I have my Mom's old baby doll. It has no sentimental attachment to me,, it is mass produced, so it is not particularly valuable. My Grandma had hung on to it for years, and somehow when she passed, it came to me. Even though it really means nothing to me,, I am having a hard time letting go of it. Any advice on this one? Shall I just bite the bullet and donate it somewhere?
0 -
glennie, why part with the doll if you do not want to. It takes up very little room. I have a small stuffed lamb my son received as an infant, and when I make up the bed in the morning, I prop the lamb up against the pillows. A little stuffed bunny is on top of my jewelry box. You could find a little niche in your home to tuck the doll. Even if you just want to keep the doll in a box, drawer or on a shelf, you can. It is okay and even good to hold on to some sentimental things. I have a Christmas fireplace screen that no longer goes with the decor in the room, so I don't use it. But I still love it, so I keep it. On the other hand, there are plates, awooden glider and more miscellaneous that I am okay to garage sale this year come spring.
0
