For Older People with Sense
Comments
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Absolutely adorable!
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Alyson...so cute, I could eat them !
Leah...good luck with the surgery. Hope it's all over with now.
Things are going to be a bit quiet here for a while. I think losing Marybe has hit us all so hard, for me today I've just not had the heart to do much at all. I find it hard to believe she was posting 8 days ago, and now....
I had an email from my 15 yr old G/daughter today....could she and her BOYFRIEND come and stay next month. I do not know how to answer this one...what is the protocol nowadays ? My head says 'NOT under my roof ', she isn't 16 'til end of December, but has been going out with this young man for a year. So far I can't bring myself to ring my son and ask what he does and doesn't allow. ( then I think I will still say NO) How this world has changed. Somehow I've got to very nicely tell G/daughter, I'd love to see YOU, but NOT BF ! Then that would involve her taking a long train journey on her own, and I don't want that either ! Another problem !! Answers, please, on a postcard !!!
Well, that's that tonight ...the stuffing has gone out of me today.
Isabella.
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Alyson, those are some cuties - precious! They are reason to smile!
Isabella is right - it'll be quiet for awhile as we deal with the loss of our beloved Marybe - no question about that at all. She's been on my mind all day.
But the question about Isabella's G/daughter & her BF is kind of pressing. I know you want to see her. Tell her that for sure. You are right - times have changed, but maybe not so much as you fear. Can you offer two bedrooms - kind of far apart? Maybe they're not being intimate at all and would WANT 2 bedrooms! Do you know anything about BF? I'd ask her some "leading" questions about him - what does he like, etc. that may give you some real info -- maybe he's a nice guy and then again maybe not. But offering 2 bedrooms straight up might give you an option and perhaps they'd respect that "boundary" evan if they are being intimate - and you wouldn't have to know. But you can certainly ask her if he knows his way around a farm!
I dunno. I'm like you though, having her take a long train journey alone is not comforting at all.... Someone wiser may have better ideas.
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Well, I took long train rides when I was her age..and I am sure she could too...
But I agree, if they have to both come for whatever reason, if there are two bedrooms
just tell them the scoop that is what the boundries are at your house..end of discussion.
It is not like they are adults...only 15...
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I'm with Lisa and L_C, Isabella. Separate bedrooms all the way. Don't know how old BF is, but your granddaughter is still a child.
Beautiful pictures of your grandchildren, Alyson.
Yes, it's been quiet today, and I know we're all still reeling from the news. I'm so glad Barb was with her, and hope that now Barb is able to rest and recover as much as she can.
Love to you all,
Kathy
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Me, I would say yes and then put them into separate rooms when they arrive and forbid visiting in one anothers rooms. Then what happens after lights out is not for you to worry about. They may sneak about a bit, but not with your permission. I think the appearance of propriety with the grand generation is important. My opinion.
Ginger
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I have had so many complaints about my new avatar that I have taken it back to the original one.
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I thought it was very modern and edgy looking myself. I confess tht I was never exactly sure what it was though.
Ginger
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Ginger, it was a drawing that my sixteen year old grandson had done. i just loved it so used it as my avatar for a while.
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I have to say I like this one better, the other made you look mean...and we all know that is just the opposite..
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Lol Lisa.
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Chrissy know how dumb I am, I knew there was something different but I couldn't figure it out dahhhh. Isabella I would jusy say hon I know times have changed but grans a little old fashioned and you and "BF" are most welcome but you'll have separate rooms, ground rules are set, end of story. I've also thought of nothing but Marybe for the last few days, so sad.
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Cheryl you cracked my up! lol. I changed it about five or six weeks ago. Never mind, we are now back to the old me and ready to forge ahead.
Isabella if the granddaughter and BF want to stay it has to be on your terms and if that is separate rooms then so be it. Just do as Cheryl said and tell them you'd love to have them stay but the rules in your house is separate rooms full stop. It's not like they will be there for long so the separation won't hurt them.
Yes I think Marybe will be on our minds for sometime to come. God rest her soul........ a guiding light has faded but a new star has been born.
Love n hugs. Chrissy0 -
Someone was mentioning that they'd not seen an outpouring such as this on BCO.
Alaskadeb died in 2009, and there was almost the same upset. She was such a lovely lady, always helpful.
I have just discovered my dogs have lice, now I shall have to get every damned one of them bathed and groomed, and treated.....going to take me days to sort this one out. Just ordered a ton of Frontline on the net!!! Seems only about 10 of them are affected. but every darned one of them will have to be treated. I am itching just thinking of them. Just off into the village for half a dozen bottles of childrens 'nit' shampoo, tho' dog lice don't live on humans, I would think the nit shampoo will be pretty potent on any louse. Will be watching the girls behind the counter when I ask for half a dozen bottles of nit shampoo, and try and keep my face straight !!!!
Isabella.
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Isabella, How many dogs do you currently have? Good thing you have helpers!
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Isabella, Alaska Deb was a kind soul...she was my secret pal ..when we had them way back....a wonderful lady..
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My DH and I were to drive down and spend Thanksgiving with Marybe so they could cook together. She didn't realize Canadians had a Thanksgiving and we were going to share traditions. My heart is just ripped. The thought that I put off visiting her just tears me apart. I was invited to Shell Knob last year but just couldn't finanially make it and for that I will always have regrets. I was the one that urged her and pushed her and challenged her by email to finally book the Europe tour or stop talking about it!! She was SO proud of herself when she emailed me that she had finally booked it. At least now she is free to go where she wants.....I have to believe that.
Isabella, I am as old fashioned at you! But, maybe they AREN'T sexually active and that is why they are good buds. A 15 year old boy who is "getting it" from one girl would certainly move on to other ones!! So a stong friendship of the other sex is a wonderful thing at that age. It protects them from having to get "out there". Having said that, ask DGD which two bedrooms you should ready for them? See what she says. And thank the BF for travelling with her.
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Yes Barbe, when my DD was 14 her best friend was a 15 year old boy. Now at 33, her best friend is the same 34 year old fellow. Their respective spouses have adjusted and they were both in one anothers wedding. The each have a two year old born one day apart.
The boy went on numerous vacations with us and in college they traveled to one anothers campuses. He and his wife and son just traveled here to Seattle a few weeks ago from Los Angeles. The boy has been a blessing in our lives. Perhaps Isabellas DGD has a similar relationship.
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Hi ladies, I've read quite a few pages and realize some of you have been together for a long time. Is there room for another "golden oldie" and someone that came back to the boards last Oct when she learned after 6 years was now Stage IV. I read on another page that someone said her age made a different in treatments for her - that she felt our bodies just handled things differently because of our age. I know Marybe was an exception to that - took her chemo and kept on moving. I was very active before the mets diagnosis - what a difference a few months of treatment has made in my life. This is the first site other than Stage IV that I have visited. I just decided when I came back; didn't want drama and would stick close to my new home, Stage IV thread.
Chrissy posted encouragement to me as I went through more scans after the first one showed mets and the bone biopsy. I kept posting in the recently diagnosed with recurrence and she told me it was ok to go to the Stage IV thread. Chrissy, I hadn't been posting much the last 2 weeks and when I read about Marybe I realized I hadn't seen your post. I missed you because of the avatar - I have to admit, I too, like this one better.
I have four grandchildren - two boys ages 15 and 12, two girls ages 7 and 4. I have four stepgrandchildren - one boy, age 15 and two girls ages 14 and 13.
Like all of you, will miss Marybe tremendously. Hard to comprehend that things could change so fast.
Leah, hoping your surgery is behind you and you are comfortable.
So if there is room for a 67 year oldie , who is also Stage IV, may I join you?
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Welcome Naniam. This is a great group of people and you are most welcome here. I would rate this thread on the low end for drama and the high end for support.
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Please do!!!
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welcome, naniam.. 0 -
Isabella, with my 1st husband, i was 21 and we visited my mom at her home on Cape Cod.. she said yes come, thats' wonderful.. and when we got there, she siad to me "this is your room" and then, turned to him, walked him down the hall, and said and this is yours.. No questions.. i hadled it the same way when my boys were older, and their gf came. i didn't play cop, though.. id leave them in the liv room, and go to bed.. i just told them goodnight, and id better see you in yoyr rooms in the morning.. (to my sons)
if they sneak, well, its not yoyur responsibility at that point..
just enjoy his visit, and do the best you can..
Chrissy, i like this one better, too, but i knew your GS did the other, so I knew why you had it up..
Not back to life yet, just kinda trying to a bit at a time, to grieve and live at the same time..its going to be hard without Marybe, but there's nothing we can do, but go on, and try to live as she would want us to...
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Naniam welcome to a wonderful place where people accept you for what you are and will give so much support.
I add my agreement to what the others have said, Isabella, Separate rooms epecially at that age. OK I haveput couples who have lived together for years in the same room but that's different - they are adults.
3jays, as Rae just said on facebook we must try to pass on the legacy of Marybe's love, its our turn now.
Love to all.
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Hi Naniam! I am Gingerbrew but call myself Ginger. I got my name because I was looking at a bottle of Gingerbrew when I signed in here.
I have four Grandchildren myself. Two boys, 8 and 4 and two girls, 9 and 2. They are so much fun!
I think y ou will enjoy this thread, were pretty easy going here and tell some silly stories too.
Hugs Ginger
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So very sorry to hear about marybe.
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I add my big welcome to Namian..we have know each other for many years!
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Welcome to you, Naniam! I'm Kathy, and I'm shown as QCA since that was my job for 30+ years, quality control analyst in DSS. Glad to be retired now. I have one 3 year old grandson and another on the way.
We're glad to have you join us. We're both serious and silly, whatever's your pleasure, and I know you'll like it here.
Kathy
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Thanks ladies - appreciate the warm welcome. See that we all do love those grandchildren.
Yes, Lisa, we have known each other for years - always glad to see your smiling face.
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My goodness, Naniam, just noticed you're from Hickory. I'm in Monroe and we went through Hickory Sunday on the way back from Boone. Nice to see another Tarheel!
Kathy
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