INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
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I apologize if that offends anyone but I felt it needed to be said, and I hope at least I can help find a way to solve the problem that the "new mental health" program FINALLY being recognized as a national health crisis clearly extorts funding away from ANY condition absent the addiction treatment component of mental health treatment instead of helping people in most need with combined severe diagnoses like ptsd and stage 3 cancer manage and navigate nessicary proper use of these vital substances from start to finish of the agreed upon professional treatment plan that deemed them nessicary for survival of treatment!
I'm so angry at the indignance of the medical community when the treatments you agree to pay them for put you in so much pain that you cannot survive without proper pain management, then you are denied the prescription to TREAT the pain they cause out of fear of reprisal from the federal government for not extorting patients insurance, copay or uncovered treatment options enough while they are too weak to object or report it because they are denied the validation of their pain that impares the ability function on any level as they are blamed for their moral failure of suffering the documented side effects caused by the medication on TOP of being denied the pain medication at effective doses specifically designed to treat it!
May every scum that ever made a dirty dime that way or failed to stop it for financial gain find themselves rotting in a waiting room unable to escape and overflowing with the pain they deserve for the innocent honest patients they preyed upon to amass their filthy fortunes as the hours tick by with NO pain meds, dignity or fair treatment for every soul that died for being denied the same care they prevented and profited from!
All the paper and metal on earth is no good at treating pain until you trade it for the chemical that provides the relief, and no matter how much blood money was collect that way, it will NEVER be enough to buy salvation or relief for those they stole that from in their greatest hour of need!
I think it's time to level the field and demonstrate true social justice where laws that are uninfoced fail us all and encourage the illusion of superiority by those openly profiting from breaking them!.
We have all seen the results of TRUSTING our government to protect us, so WHO will protect US from THEM if this is the current reality we ALL face!?!
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MammaRay, wish I have the magic wand to smack those buggers away from you and my other love ones. I still haven't gotten a chance to get groceries yet. Oh talk about food....I went to the casino the other day. Oh JunieB, don't worry. I didn't sin by gambling, but I did indulge in 3 whole lobsters and 2 heads! The best part is the head not the tail, by the way. All you can eat lobsters at the buffet and the max my stomach could handle was what I mentioned umm plus several king crab legs. Had a small bowl of clam chowder also. And that was my only meal for the day. Did the American Heart Society recommend that your biggest meal should be at lunch? I am sure it was them.
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JunieB, hope the antibiotics will take care of the what-ever-it is. Here is a pictures of Mitzy. I haven't given her back to the SPCA yet. I don't think they want her back anyway. I told her many times that she better behave herself
This is how she often answers me:
....by howling. She talks back. That little brat !!
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Welcome Faithonfire! Should I send firemen your way?
I agree with you about our mental health system. Very sad. I have seen many in and out of jail or because these folks fall through the cracks.
Ms Sas, why were you in the rabbit holes?
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Loverly, I was just busy busy. I shouldn't have used that phrase. Everything's good here. Love seeing Mitsy.
Faithonfire. Welcome here, no clue about responding. I'm more of a technical person. But it was good to hear you get that off your mind. There might me another thread where you would get a better response. It's called the "Steam Room for Anger". I'll get the link and bring it back. Consider cutting and pasting both posts to place there.
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/102/topics/833446?page=79#idx_2350
Do you have something specific we might help with?
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MammaRay. sorry. A good person to talk with this about would be MTwoman. Your feelings and anger are normal. But when it seems like they are controlling you versus you controlling them, it's time to talk with someone that does this type of thing for a living and MT does. I'll bring her link back Hugs sweetie.
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/83/topics/855477?page=4#idx_113
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thanks so much for all the support everyone,
I'm sticking to my therapy for crisis management and holding out until I FINISH chemotherapy December 5 and then I will NEVER EVER do chemotherapy again!!! What I went through will take a while to sort out so I am just looking forward to ACTUALLY healing as soon as they STOP poisoning me every week.
I got the best news of my entire treatment so far that I am a good candidate for nipple saving reconstruction for my double mastectomy about 4 to 6 weeks after chemotherapy. I also got to confirm the braca 2 gene for my mom and the rest of our family as we wait for their results the insurance refused to pay for until my diagnosis was confirmed.
It would have been nice to know with my moms diagnosis 3 years earlier but they treated me very differently at my age and more severe stage.
I'm trying my best to stay positive but I have a lot of anxiety about the holidays and how to protect myself from getting sick or having my medication stolen. I will let you know what advice I can find with the American cancer society in the subject. I love my family more than I'm embarrassed to ask how to remove temptation from them when I can't not take them and function like this.
I fostered a puppy for paws for a cause, and it was a LOT to handle for me so my brother did most of the work but it helped me so much to feel unconditional love when my husband and children won't talk to me right now. They are angry that I abandoned them by using the same team of doctors that cured my mother of the same exact kind of cancer, HOW can everyone else in the world understand that except the people I dedicated my life to?
It's almost as hard as hearing my teenage girls call me a liar when I told them my diagnosis on the phone and they refused to even see me before I left for treatment and I have faced bullying and hatred ever since. I'm still in too much shock over that to be angry, I'm scared of the sudden personality change so suddenly and worry about how to NOT screw this up as I get them help.
Any advice would help, I am having a horrific time with separation anxiety this is the longest in my life I have not been with my children and they only curse at me when I try to reach out.
My husband is completely emotionally abandoned me and thrown me under the buss with our children so they don't talk to me either and tell me to never come back or die when I do.
He says nothing for days and a few one word answers if he wants to give me enough false hope to keep me as upset as possible then blame me for the pain I'm in! It's horrific to watch them all fall apart and blame me when I am powerless to even get out of bed for days because of it.
I don't know how to make this stop and prevent the abuse pattern before my children start victimizing anyone else as badly as they have been allowed and encouraged to hurt their mother,
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I'm sorry if I upset anyone with venting my anger but I'm not used to doing that and my therapist encouraged me to try and he was wrong, it only made me embarrassed that I am so good at pushing people away.
I'm just trying to keep my head up until I am done with chemo and I was promised it will FINALLY feel better and I won't be stuck on pills forever.
I don't drink anymore again but this time I'm not counting months, I had 10 sober before my diagnosis and I'm still mad at myself that I couldn't make a year, A
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Loverly, I know a lobster lost one claw is called a cull. What do you call a lobster only has the head? How can you get two heads🧐?
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loverly-what casino has an all you can eat lobster buffet? I’m hopping in the car and heading there ASAP!
Faithonfire- so very sorry you’re dealing with everything you are. No wonder you’re so angry! But as I read through your posts, it does seem that expressing that anger through your posts is helping as the anger is less in each subsequent post. MTWoman May be able to help too. Any clue why your kids think you’re lying about your diagnosis? That’s crazy. And I can’t say I understand your DH either. But I will say that everyone deals with this journey in different ways. I hope it gets better for you. On your meds and keeping them safe, may I suggest a nightstand gun safe? They are available with a key, a combination or a fingerprint lock. If you have a Costco membership they often have them for a good deal at the holidays. Here’s the link to the one on Costco.com and you don’t have to even be a member to order it online! We have the one made by gunvault but we bought this one for my dad.
https://m.costco.com/Sports-Afield-SA-RV3-Lightning-Handgun-Vault.product.100377124.html
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Loverly - Being as petite as you are, how in the world did you manage to eat three lobsters? LOL! So glad you enjoyed them though. Also, a little gambling isn't sinful. Remember what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 6:12 - "All things are lawful for me,' but I will not be brought under the power of anything."
Oh! sweet Mitzy, she is looking quite beautiful. In the early pics you posted of her, she looked somewhat fearful. I don't think you'd had her very long then and she hadn't had time to realize that she is "HOME". Now she has a look in her eyes that says "I know I am HOME!" "These are my HOOMANS!"
I don't think the antibiotics are really doing anything. My leg is still very red, hot, & hurts like the dickens. The PA from my MO's office called today and said to finish the antibiotics though and they are referring me to a Vascular Surgeon ASAP. I'll be surprised if I can get a consult appt. before Christmas. Let alone having the procedure done. What I've heard about the vein surgery is that it is VERY painful. I'm scared! Yikes!
Hips still hurt too and I am having a bone scan next Tuesday.
Poor Mr. Kirby, he is so scared and hiding under my bed. I broiled a steak for dinner tonight and when I opened the oven door, smoke came billowing out and set off the fire alarm. The alarm has the loud BEEP BEEP, plus a flashing light. Kirby is terrified and I couldn't even coax him out with a bite of steak. He did let me hold him a bit, but he was shaking like a leaf. I have the living room window open with a fan blowing out the window to clear the smoky smell out.
Mammaray - (((HUGS to You)))
Anyway, I will say goodnight for now. I hope everyone gets a good restful nights sleep.
Oh my, Kirby just snuck out from under the bed! I'm going hug on him a bit now.
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Poor Kirby! Cooking is BAD! Oh the trauma......... I think I have mentioned before that I hail from a long line of undomesticated women. My mother though was a bit of a rebel and did actually cook. Sometimes she would use all 4 burners AND the hot thing underneath. She did remain faithful to family custom - not once did she ever clean the oven. As the years went by meals became more and more exciting. My younger cousin would absolutely beg to come over for dinner. "Please Mommy, please can we eat at Auntie's house? I want to see the firemen and the trucks!", True story, honest! The firemen visited a few times to put out the clothes dryer too......
When the FF and I were in our courting days , he mortified me by cleaning my oven. It was awful! I had to hurry and get the childrens and kitties outside. Ooooh the stench! And the shame of a spotless oven.
Miss Pris is adjusting to DS being here. Her opinion of him was greatly improved once he started feeding her fave canned food. She is even chasing DS around the house so she can bite him
Junie, I do so hope you can get in to see the specialist right away. Maybe the anti-b's need a little more time? You cannot be sick or hurting - we have an adventure to have!
I am finally off decadron - doc agreed it was doing more harm than good. BestBird has very encouraging info in her Mets Gude. She had listed Boswellia as very effective and safe way to treat brain edema - plus it kills cancer cells! So far it's working great. It is supposed to be very effective to ease fibromyalgia and joint pain.
Want to "visit" more but I keep dozing off!
Faithonfire ` Sas has advised you well as to seeking other threads. You are still adjusting to your DX and are still processing it all. You are scared and angry. Please check out share.org. They have live people -all have BC ` available to answer your questions, The American Cancer Society also has counselors.
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Faithonfire, Thanks for giving us more info Stay here with us as long as you need.
We could be an anchor to your boat that's in the storm.
But you have way to much to much going on. I second Lulu of talking with MTwoman. She has Breast cancer. So, she has the perspective of cancer. She's also a licensed counselor. This is the link to her thread here on breastcancer.org.(BCO). She's fabulous. I'll send her a PM to check in here to review your posts. But we are here when we are here. She may be off a world cruise, ergo, may not be available. So, don't fret if she doesn't answer.
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/83/topics/855477?page=4#idx_113
The other thread "Steam Room for Anger" Is a great place to blow of the anger. Like a boiler plate exploding. The topic box will explain it. I'll re-add the link here to make it easy for you
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/102/topics/833446?page=79#idx_2350
Put threads in your "favs" Favorite places. I'm guessing you know how to do this b/c you got back here. But just in case. There is a "add to my favorites" at the top and bottom of each page.
next post
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typing to faith on fire
Loverly please write a PM to MT and ask if she wouldn't mind coming here, we need help Thanks
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Faith, I'm going to ask that you attempt an outline I'm going to write a series of questions. I would like you to answer each question with maximum response of 2-4 sentences. The point being is to try to clarify what's going on. Hopefully, this will have value to MT if she's available.
DO NOT ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS HERE, WRITE THEM ON A NOTE PAD
1. What is your number one concern today.
2. Why do you think your family thinks you are lying?
Husband----
Daughter 1
daughter 2
3. You left home for treatment where is home--state? Where is treatment-state?
4. Who are you staying with in the treatment area? general answer only, attempt to know if you are safe
5. Define what you mean in this sentence " I am mercilessly preyed upon for my weakness during chemotherapy treatments!"
6. Leave out problems with Christie and Obamacare unless relevant? I see no relevance to problem at hand. The point here is to stay on topic of your present problem.
7. Prior history of mental health problems? Substance abuse problems?
8. Define:" I'm sticking to my therapy for crisis management?
9. Define: "or having my medication stolen." Who would steal your medicine?
That's all I've got. My thought is if you clarify some things, if and when MT is available it may help your discussion.
Ranting is excellent for letting off the energy related to anger, but it should be done in a space designed for that. That's the Steam Room". We are supportive, but we , also, go to the steam room when we want to let loose. If there is a particular problem we can help with, we are the helping crew. I hope that is understandable and not off putting.
typing
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I am here, and am glad that sas made the list of questions above as they will be helpful in prioritizing help and support. I am typically not on the forum very much over the weekend, but will make sure to check in over the next few days to see what I can do.
Faith, if you can give us more info (per above) I am happy to do what I can to help. It does seem like an overwhelming situation, and we would all like to be able to do something that would be helpful to you. Please keep talking to us. We get it.
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Hi MT Thanks for coming . Bless you.
Thanks Loverly for conveying the request.
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Faith, believe in MT, I have followed her since she came to BCO. She is wonderful in many ways. The key here is you are in crisis. Crisis demands an expert. MT might demure from expert status, but she is. We are so lucky to have her with us.
Here on this thread we change or shorten screen names. You may have noticed I changed your screen name to Faith. That's for a reason. You are in crisis. I have been in crisis for my self , family, friends, BCO friends. It's best to take hold of what you can at the time of a crisis. Take the best of sight, sound, writing.
FAITH the strongest word in life.
MY avatar is Picasso's the "Dove of Peace", but Picasso had several renderings of the same dove. Life has that same thing. Hang in there
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Faith?
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Faith, between all of us here, we can help. Please let us try.
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Oooops.....many apologies, I gave the wrong link for Share. It is www.sharecancersupport.org Share is a fantastic resource. The kind ladies there were a tremendous help to me when I was first DX'd. Many Share members are active on BCO - that's how I was guided here way back when!
Nothing can compare to the special relationships that are formed on BCO. Sometimes folks need more specialized guidance than we can offer. Share can provide the professional help that is beyond us. They also are very active in research and continuously publish updates. And I do not recall ever seeing a "study" there on how our attitudes affect the severity of our SEs from hormonal therapies, ah-hum. (looking of to the side humming innocently)
From the Share About us page:
We are breast and ovarian cancer survivors and we're here to help you. We know what it's like to have early stage, recurrent, and metastatic disease. If you've been diagnosed with breast or ovarian cancer, or if you simply want to know more about these diseases, we can help.
Mission
SHARE Cancer Support's mission is to create and sustain a supportive network and community of women affected by breast and ovarian cancers. SHARE Cancer Support brings these women and their families and friends together with others who have experienced breast or ovarian cancer, and provides participants with the opportunity to receive and exchange information, support, strength and hope.
SHARE Cancer Support's work focuses on empowerment, education and advocacy to bring about better health care, an improved quality of life, and a cure for these diseases.
All Services are Free of Charge
We provide telephone support, support groups, educational programs, and advocacy activities. Call toll-free 844-ASK-SHARE (844-275-7427) to talk to someone about breast or ovarian cancer -- in English, Spanish, and 10 other languages.
Telephone Support
Call 844-ASK-SHARE (844-275-7427), and we can help you face the emotional and practical issues that come with breast or ovarian cancers. These are things like handling treatment side effects, talking to friends and family, dealing with insurance companies, or feeling weaker as chemotherapy progresses.
We can help you consider your options and give you advice about talking to your doctor. And we can give you support based on our experience as survivors.
We'll also let you know what other services we provide that might help you, such as support groups and educational programs.
Check 'em out - lots of useful info! We can have some "grown-up" talks about what we learn! Warning: I will still prefer to talk about kitties and Miss Blue's skunkies 🐱🐾🐾
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Lula, another Carolina Girl! And look everyone.....she's gotta be cool, She posted about gun safes!
I looked on Costco and that is a seriously awesome deal. I paid $100 a few years back for the same type except mine is a little bit smaller. I never knew Costco carried such things!
Here's Lula's safe for 79.99............
Costco has a wide range of sizes, all reasonably priced, starting at 54.99. There are a few that are fire and waterproof for storing files and important papers. The one below is 89.99. With all the crazy weather that has been going on the past few years, a file safe is really a necessity. Hmmm, maybe good for Christmas gifts?
Here's the link: Costco Safe Selections
Thank you for sharing Lula!
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Shep, nice info on the boxes. I have two-----keys are lost or not recognized Oh well
The info on Share Cancer Support is excellent. Would you cut and paste to Just dx'-get prepared. Here's the link.
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/5/topics/748296?page=12#idx_357
MT may want it cut and pasted to her Anxiety thread too. Good stuff
Yes getting excited for the trip.
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Hi Owlettes - I thought I would stop in here (little early) but wanted to get a lay of the land. Last night was up all night on QVC/HSN - I:ve got to stop that! SO, If I find myself shopping - I'll come here instead - catch up with everyone later!
take care!
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Welcome Rijes. I think the stuff they give you with chemo prevents good sleep. Are you eastern or western US?
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rljes ~ a shopping insomniac? Welcome! I find myself slowly drifting along the Amazon quite often. When I order stuff I usually forget about it so it's a nice surprise when the mail carrier rings the doorbell. I'm my own Secret Santa! 😛
Gosh it's been quiet here.........
DS drove me to looong day of follow-ups. Love my team. I was worried about a couple few things. They say I am doing goodish and no bad stuff to be concerned about - yay! I am staring in home PT today s my brain has once again forgotten how to communicate with the rest of my body. I have the same techs again, very thankful. Gotta rush to get ready as Miss Tammy likes to show up early. If I leave the door unlocked for her she'll creep all through the house looking for Pris Kitty - the woman is obsessed!
DS and I went to see a HUGE Christmas light display after my appointments. Hre's on pic for now. More to follow!
Chirstmas Carolina Style!
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Christmas outside the GPO (Historic landmark) Dublin
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For Wacky Wednesday:
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Welcome Lula and Rljes!
Eeyore, my lobsters were like mutated crawfish....not that big. Extra heads were from my SIL's lobsters. DH didn't think it was healthy to eat the head. No scientific proof, so I had 2.
Shep, that looks like it's from Southern California.
Busy accomplishing nothing again. Tata for now.
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Finally seeing an end to this rotten cold
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