INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
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Sas, C.R. Gibson had what I was looking for. Almost went with one that you create on-line but the more I thought about it the more I wanted to go with writing out the recipes. I still have some that are in my parents' handwriting. Hate to say it but my dad was a better cook than my mom, although she was good don't get me wrong. He loved to try new things. I think I take after him because I love to concoct new dishes. It was my dad that let me start cooking. My mom was worried about me making a mess in the kitchen. My dad told her if I did than I had to clean it up.
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First, I would like to wish blessed Christmas for all my sisters and also a big WELCOME to Edel. I thought that I would have more time posting, but had poor receptions in the Bahamas. Busy day. Need to start making gumbo. Just realized this morning I am missing one ingredient
. Oh well. Frying the bacon for the roux as I am typing. Hopefully, I won't burn them. Picking up JunieB tonight from airport. Hoping she will get moved to first class. Wishful thinking, I know.
Boy! Frying bacon to get the fat out takes A LOT of patience as I am not used to cooking it. We, I meant I seldom eat bacon. Cooking on an electric stove is also a challenge for me. So Junie, if the gumbo doesn't turn out right, I do have legitimate excuse. Ha! Actually, my goal is not to burn anything and the gumbo is edible.
Hope to have more time later to post photos of our vacation.
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First wave was Saturday night, now waiting for second wave starting at 4. Christmas is ok but I’m always glad when it’s over.
Santa got me a roomba! Will try it out after the tree comes down. Be safe out there
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Sas, last sentence was supposed to be, how DID I miss this. That the cancer lymph node there for two scans and less SUV uptake then never mentioned again. And one year after that was found there are now for first time multiple cancer nodules in thyroid .itself. An ultrasound 14 months prior showed no nodules.Anyway, I trust my new thyroid specialist/surgeon is sorting it out. So nice to just know when you are in good care and can relax and allow the doctor to deal with it. Forms I need an oncologist to lean on like this.
Had good day, though erenare some issues, but just a good day.
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MamaRay such a pretty treasure. I really love that necklace. My sister gave me a sister necklace that tells me how strong and kind and loved I am. Needed, I will wear it everyday.
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Lover: well, you'll just have to practice frying bacon. I'll come over and you can practice on me all you want. Too bad you were stuck in the Bahamas without internet connectivity.Me, I've spent most of the past couple of days setting up the NEW laptop I got for Christmas....before the old one died, so I can transfer files at my own rate. I guess I did learn something from all those computer classes (Sas: still working on your VPN question.)
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Kathy so happy you found a book that met your need. Our recipes lead to the heart of a family in memories. Rubber bands and all. Both my Mom and Dad were experimental cooks. Greg's Mom was a recipe follower. All were excellent cooks, just different approaches. I like the read multiple recipes and then combine and then add more of what seems good, approach. I have lost a few very excellent recipes b/c I thought I would remember what I did
One was a vegetarian lasagna. Oh well. The other, was an exceptional loss. Donnie was asked what the best thing I ever cooked. He said a fish soup (Bouillabaise). I was stunned. I remember doing it, but alas, I don't remember details. Donnie may be a rough and tumble guy lacking in filters(I love that), but his love of food and praise or lack of praise is right up there with Emeril. No clue what I did. Oh well:)
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Blue, a competent doc is worth their weight in gold. All of us here on BCO are only too aware of that. It shouldn't be, but it is.
MammaRay Love you, Love your sweetie for getting you the owl. May Our Dear Lord keep you, you will always be in our hearts, and we will meet again. I know you got some of the pictures from our visit. It was whirlwind, but great. AND it was great to share the moment with you
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Queenie, just thinking of you and there you are. I'll struggle along with this piece of junk till you are the PRO. Then I'll get something. Another button wants to come off(N)The A and B buttons are missing and the Cap lock button doesn't work right. The other night the screen was flashing so weirdly it looked like Morse code. Serious, it was flashing for maybe a couple of minutes in a pattern way. That's why I thought of Morse code. Pass that by your teacher and see what their reaction is hahahaha. Yes, VPN to prevent Morse code intrusions.
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Yes, we are home. The trip was great. I am in awe of Loverly. She is mama bear. She took care of us all. She's an incredible driver to boot. I said at the end we should have named the GPS thingy. Then thought to ask her if she had ever given it a name. She said "Idiot". We all laughed. We saw much more of South Carolina than we ever expected to because the GPS kept giving instructions that took us to the hinterlands of the state.
When both Junie & Loverly referred to their phones map directions, and I referred to a paper map we finally got home. Donnie tells me that it has to do with the advanced technology of the phones. Of course, I understand what that intellectually means, but I'm completely cell phone illiterate.
We also used centuries old technique of navigating by the position of the sun and killing the cat or skinning the cat. We finally dead ended into I 95 just as the sun was setting and headed south. At one point, I asked Loverly if she was praying, when the GPS had sent us back into the hinterland yet again. Loverly, has such mindfulness i.e great control. Then we had another short discussion about cats. Then a short scenic diversion into Jacksonville per the GPS.
IF you EVER go to South Carolina be very wary of the routes labeled 17 and alternate 17. It wanders all over the state. It's like a spider web.
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That was the end. The beginning was eventful too. We took US HWY 1 up and went through St. Augustine. The oldest settlement in the US which is claimed by other settlements, but who cares. It was so cool to go over the Lions Bridge and see the old buildings that were built in such majestic architecture. It's wonderful.
Then on to Myrtle beach. Meeting our Shepkitty. She is a Dionne of Design. She resonates character of bohemian fashion. Not many women can carry that off without looking odd. She makes it a natural breeze with life.
Then we ate, but our days of staying up all night talking is in our past. Wednesday, yak, yak, yak, then a dinner at the Flying Fish. Shep & Loverly shared a humongous 2 person crab leg dinner. Junie got some great pics. I was envious of the gusto the two shared over those crab legs. I will emulate them in the future.
The negative is it was cold high 30-& 40's. I wore socks with my Florida sandals and was saved from the cold by a wonderful scarf that Shep provided during the visit.
It was a great visit except for the cat killings(figuratively) and HWY 17.
It's 4:05 Am now, Junie is likely up getting ready for her flight back to Portland. UGH. She has a long tough day ahead. JUNIE safe flight. I know Kirby will be as happy to see you as Shats and Dini were to see me.
Love ya'll
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hi blue, and everyone!It took me a little while to find my way back to this thread, chemo brain had really been kicking my butt and not letting up with med side effects to boot I just can't stand the level of cognitive decline!
Today is my sons 13 th birthday and he does not want to talk to me. My 2 other daughters are 14 and 17 and are FAR more vicious with their verbal and emotional abuse than I can tolerate for no longer than a few minutes at a time but at least its communication right?
We were always a very close family until last May shortly before I was diagnosed with braca 2 stage 3 breast cancer on top of my ptsd that I have had for over a decade and managed with cognitive behavioral therapy, had a union part time job so NO medication and alcohol free for 10 months at that point. I weighed in at 105 lbs when I was diagnosed by my general practitioner after specialists missed 5 cm tumor in my armpit!!
My husband grew more and more distant the sicker I became and it was all my fault for not being able to control my symptoms well enough to deserve fair treatment or even my basic needs to be met and even then it was after I was forced to earn anything I was lucky enough to actually receive instead of the usual combo of denials shame and blame for having a need to be met to start with! So the longer he avoided coming home to help in any way the more our kids blamed me for our quality of life being all my fault
I was called a crazy lazy liar for being THAT tired and sick with NO help and 3 kids schedules and doctor dentist etc appointments to keep as my condition got worse and I was blamed for failing to live up to my family's expectations not to mention how much money we wasted on doctors misdiagnosis! I was no longer able to serve them well enough to deserve even my most basic needs being met until they felt I deserved it so I wasn't worth keeping around!
My children told my husband I was cheating on him and he was cheating on me and do NOT want him or I to repair our marriage and hold them accountable for how they have behaved. Too bad I have over a year of phone records that include all texts that prove my point about pattern abuse of disabled and dying family to extort them.
They all REALLY believe they can use majority rules thug mentality to make me disappear and escape any accountability for the bullying and other circumstances that led us to where we are today.
I was called a liar the day I told my kids I had breast cancer, and told to drop dead the day I sent a picture bald and hooked up in treatment chair to prove this is NOT a lie no matter how much they can't accept what is happening to me. Hating and blaming me for their every failure in life is the only way they can handle the rejection and manipulation of their father who I LEFT( he kicked me out by lying about having a restraining order so I stayed with my sister until we got out to moms doctors ) but I abandoned THEM so that's why I deserve their hatred. I was smart enough to keep me and my meds safe during treatments because I had nobody to take care of me that trusted me or that I could trust to be around me when I was unable to defend myself!
I love them more than I ever loved myself and I don't have it in me to give up on them no matter how hard they try to force me.
I still have hope that my husband will find out the TRUTH before he throws away 19 years of my love and faithful marriage away over a LIE our kids told him!
The fact that he KNOWS I'm really sick and can't even LOOK me in the eye now let alone send a single pic of him or kids but insists I am cheating when it's OBVIOUS that only doctors touch me so I won't DIE!
The rest of my time is eaten up on research, trying to go through all this alone and not upset my mom sister and brother during the holidays now that my kids and husband won't talk to any of them either for taking me away from him!
Even my therapist is astounded at this reaction to my diagnosis, but we do the best possible things to handle the fallout symptoms each week that I work on alone and we talk and update what things work and what don't. I am learning to adapt to my circumstances as best I can ad I heal and prepare for the fight to come.
To understand what kind of people do this, you have to know my oldest is an honor student art major and my middle is in flag squad and as vicious as they come, turned her back on me literally on her graduation day and told me I didn't deserve a pic or hug goodbye when I was leaving the school.
My son and I used to spend every day together talking but told me I didn't deserve to be there because I abandoned them. His voice has changed since I have been away and I will never hear him say I love you Mom.
I forgive them because I love them but I can't allow this to continue without showing MY proof and demanding to SEE theirs if it is going to cost me everything I ever had dedicated my life to
for them to grow up believing lies about me only destroys their own future relationships with ANYONE! It's easier than accepting the risk it poses to their health and future to call me anything except legitimately sick and still as faithful as I have always been to them. I simply refuse to endure any more and will hang them with their own words if I am left no other way. Tough love suc
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Junie did you get home? Thinking about your trip a lot. Sorry You are going back to the cold.
Mommy cute haha
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tesst post, lost other two
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I love that all of you got to meet up. Wishing you all a very Happy New Year.
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Enjoying my morning coffee while watching the morning news. Got a bit of snow heading my way today
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Hey there - I lost a short post to this thread yesterday. Will try to remember all of it.
Sas - that is so cool you got to get together, the memories you must have to carry forward in life!
Have found a new oncologist and I am very content and getting stronger. Aromasin only for time being.
Sleeping better and getting to bed around 11 or midnight and up around 9 or 10. Basically 10 hrs average.
Sas - the cough and copious phlegm stopped once I got off Xeloda. saying .... 80% better from cough. Though it had been there before due to lymph nodes all along bronchial tubes, I wonder if the clearing of those cancer masses would have made cough stop by but the Xeloda caused a different type of cough. Plus there was the pneumonitis from radiation SEs and that has cleared. Anyway, I am so much better. Though I have been told and that is by 2 MOs that I can explore hospice now. So I am while well enough, but am working to be stronger and keep on trying to get cancer back in a cage.
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Bluebird, Happy your cough has improved. Coughing is so tiring. I was up last night every hour coughing and emptying my bladder so coughing didn't cause a bigger problem. Don't know if it's a cold or flu, but I'm hoping for cold.
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Sensi so happy to see you here, Hope Chance is good. Loverly & Junie got to see Shatzi & Dini. That was important to me. Oh yeah, they got to meet Donnie too hahaha Happy New Year and the best one yet
Mommy you are such a calming influence. Coffee, ckecking the news, and a bit of the weather report
Happy New Year and all the bestBlue why are they suggestion Hospice. Isn't there something else. Sending PM. Happy New YEAR, may everything get better
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Sas - Yes, I got home. Flight was full, but we got home safe. I walked into my front door at 6:00 p.m., texted Loverly at 6:09 and was asleep by 6:15 p.m. I slept until 10:30 a.m. this morning, only getting up to potty and take pain meds. I loved meeting Dini & Schatzi. I'll call soon.
Happy New Year to Everyone!
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Whooohoo Junie, sleep of long hours. I have done that too!.
I couldn't call anyone b/c I took my ring binder in the car. It's been off at work with Donnie.I just talked with Shep. One of the fun things about a trip is to relive each moment by talking about it. We have done that for a time.
I used to ask Stephen "What was the best and what was the worst?". I was always amazed at the answers. I did learn to ask what the worst was first, and end with the best i.e end on a high note.
With this trip, my worst was the "idiot" Gps. But I now understand the idiot. No matter what, it was going to get us back to I95, by whatever route, Without any consideration of direction. Had we allowed it to control us more than it did, it would have been hours more in traveling. In reality, it performed it's programming. As an artificial intelligence, It showed it's flaws. That's a positive when recognized. Machines are fallible. Only as good as the internal programming. Makes me into a believer of paper maps. Reason? When electronics fail, and you have no clue in the hinterland, and reception is bad, the paper map is a treasure.
But this is from a woman that believes in and developed disaster plans..............I have a different view. To be relevant I should learn the cell phone. I admit, this last few days, I saw and experienced many reasons it has relevance. I will dwell on that.
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Beatmom where are you, you should be here...............I know things have changed for you, but being here was once good
PDGragham is a friend here, hasn't posted forever , but she is very valued here. Wish sh would reconnect. But whatever her choice.
Wenchie is another one that I wished would reconnect. I sent her aphone message no response.
Susan3---------------tooooooooo. My fault she disconnected
Marlanab, disconnected, we have no clue why
Eeeyore pops in when she see's she is needed, but you're presence would be appreciated much more.
PattyPeppermint..............baby you are loved, follow whatever road.
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Sassy, you are right, I will pop my head in when I am called. Still work full time because my business partners will not let me retire yet. One of them gave me a bear hug last Friday and told me glad you are staying. I guess I am glad too. Before the cancer hit me, I used to plan to work until 75. For more than 7 years, I still am not prepared for retirement. I am lucky not to have pains.
Loverly, Junie & ShepK, share some of your get together time with us.
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"We can make our plans, but the LORD directs our steps.
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Our cruise ship. Capacity: 5000+ passengers.
Norwegian Escape
Hallway to our room. Notice how all the fish are swimming one way towards the front of the ship. I thought it was a pretty cool way to help direct you to the front or back of ship. 
Map of ship.
Obstacle course for the kids (and adults😃)
Faced my fear and went on this rope course 17 decks above sea.
Here is DD1 on the zip line from the rope course. She looks so calm. You wouldn't want to see my face. Ha!
Food was good, surprisingly. Entertaining was great also.
My favorite hiding spot to read.
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One of my favorite islands in the Caribbean is Cayman Island. The water is so clear.
Was disappointed we couldn't stop at St. Thomas because parts of the island was destroyed by the hurricane. Oops got to go. Plane is taking off soon. Hopefully, BBL.
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The Great Stirup Cay...private island owned by Norwegian Cruise Line.
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