INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
Comments
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It is good to check your credit at least once a year, but I do more often. Especially with all these god awful data breaches going around. I check mine 3-4 times a year and put a freeze on my credit a few years back after a computer got stolen out of my car. No issues occurred, but did so as a precaution to a known theft of info. I have known people who have had their credit stolen and found out way too late and what a freakin' nightmare.
Two things to watch for on this front, the new scam is to file your tax info before you do and get any refund coming. There is no way to check on this, you just find out if it happens when you go to file, and then may have a mess. This has happened to people I know.
The other thing we learned a few years back during an estate settlement for our mom is that if someone in your family passes, whomever is responsible for settling the estate needs to write letters to each of the three credit agencies with a copy of the death cert to be sure they note "deceased" on the person's files. They will have no way to know if the person has passed unless someone tells them, no trigger from anything like Social Security, the banks, etc. This will keep people who can steal your loved one's SSN and take out credit in their name and so you can avoid problems with trying to settle the estate. If someone gets credit in your loved ones name, they will try to get that money from the estate. Once the file is marked with the person as deceased, that is that. I told 2-3 friends settling their parents estates since my mom passed and tell everyone I can about this. Now it's your turn!
Our SSN's should have never been tied to our credit ratings, a huge fiscal failure for our nation to do this.
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jazzy, I can't remember if I did this for my dear Greg. Thanks
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Ms. Sass, my younger sister, who is very bright, has very good memory also. When we were younger, she would memorize all the poems I tried to learn before I did from just listening to me reciting them. I was in First grade and she was not even in Kindergarten yet! Good for her, but so frustrating for me. I can kind of understand how frustrating it must have been for you.
Bummer on the credit history. Hopefully, you won't face any problem trying to clean hat.
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Thanks Jazzy!!! I am drooling over here.
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My goal is to focus on making more simple dishes with no more than 5-6 ingredients. Simple healthy whole foods! I wish I could have shared it with you, I really do!
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Thanks i needed that
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Awwww Jazzy. You ARE a kind soul. I have been trying to cook and eat healthier too, cutting out processed foods and using more whole foods whenever I can. Can't do much now until another 1&1/2 weeks. We have people from church and friends bringing us meals though. This helps greatly. Bless their hearts.
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Hi all. Been off for 2 days, 4 pages behind. Caught up. Welcome Marla. Jump in with both feet.
So yesterday started with a bang at 5:30 am when my mom called. She's feeling weak and bleeding. Doesn't say from where. Don't call my sister, can I come over? Sure- no problem. Then I remembered that I don't have my keys, left them with the car dealer because I need new brakes, front and back. Called my sister, picked her up and ended up taking mom to ER, she has UTI. Needed both of us to do this. So got back home, change and go to baby shower that we are late for. Then go back to stay with mom for couple more hours until dinner out and a play with DGD. We saw Cinderalla. Nice musical. Don't remember seeing this version but recognized some of the songs.
Today was sewing with a group to make the next opportunity quilt. There are 8 of us to make 15 blocks. The designs I picked are large. It took most of the day to stitch out 8 designs. When I can I'll post a pic of them.
HI1, those are big trees. No wonder you can't move any.
Lover, dr Lin always says no shower until the first week. If you still have the drains, then he'll water proof them. I had drains for 5 weeks after I got the TEs. Each doc is different. With dr K, she water proofs, I could take a shower after 2 days. How you feeling otherwise? Don't forget to eat plenty of fruit. Don't want to get C. This was dessert tonight after left over Mexican dinner. Zazzygirl, we had cherries here for about a month. Season is short, and then they're gone.
For healthier, try hungry girl.com. Easy recipes and you can sign up for her newsletter. Thanks for the heads up, have to check on my Dad, don't think we did that.
Hope everyone had a nice weekend.
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Loverly- you are still going through your medical care around this. Let those folks bring you meals, give you comfort food, and you focus on just being taken care of by others. Those markets will be there for you down the line. First things first!
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Hi, all - just got caught up reading pages going back to last week!
As Sas mentioned, my shoulder is really bothering me, especially when I am on the computer. It's frustrating since once I got the muscles stretched out and my range of motion back it seemed fine and the last few months it has gone downhill. Trying to do some exercises and take some breaks at work to stretch it out so I'm not glued to the mouse.
Jazzy - I love the idea of simple dishes with no more than 5 or 6 ingredients! We keep eating the same things and it's BORING. Am also trying to eat more fruits and veggies and less of the processed stuff.
Loveroflife - hope you are feeling better every day!
This week is busy with stuff going on every night except Friday. Argh! Monday will be boring work meeting, Tuesday fun ladies group meeting at church, Wednesday boring HOA meeting, Thursday fun awards ceremony for DD2 who should be getting a few awards. So, at least it is balanced in the boring/fun areas.
Night all!
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Hugs MammaRay. We got as far as giving the lawyer the money for a divorce once, then took it back and used it for a vacation. Can you see a counselor together? Or a clergy person? We're with you all the way no matter how things turn out.
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Oh MammaRay, I agree with what Wren said. Try counseling first at least for your son's sake. So sorry for the stress ((Hugs))
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MammaRay - so sorry to hear about the tough conversation with your DH. Please take care
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Jazzy, Mel, and Smaarty, thank you!
Mel, is it muscle or joint? Have you tried massage?
Smaarty, busy weekend! Hope tomorrow is better. I can't believe you had the drains for 5 weeks!! I am draining about 15cc on one and less than 10cc on the other. Will call Dr. Lin tomorrow to see if I can have them removed.
MS. BLONDIE, HOPE YOU GET YOUR VISION BACK SOON!!
Patty and Mommy hope you are ok!
Rose, you ok??
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Mama I am so sorry you and your husband know your relationship only you do do what you need to do what is right for both of you there is no time limit and nothing has to be done right now. We are here if you need us to listen or for advice hugs big hugs xoxoxo
Sandy
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MammaRay- I am sorry to hear about the martial problems. I would imagine it would be a bit more challenging for someone who does counseling to receive it. Your family has had so much stress with everything going on. I hope there is a way he can be open to it with you or on his own. Wishing you better days.
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I woke up with sciatic pain down my left butt/hip screaching through to my knee... very uncomfortable walking and painful. I am hoping to go to sleep and wake up with this new pain gone! Probably will have it for life. So I am grumpy and gimpy. My DD2 came down and that was fun to see her. DD3 was a perfect pill most of the weekend. Glad she's back at school; dreading to the marrow of my being summer break. She transforms into the insufferable whining victim... teenagers suck.
Mamray- cancer rarely helps a marriage gotta say. It's not done anything positive for ours. We suffer through like the 2 old folks and the pitch fork in that famous painting "American Gothic." We took our vows and what's done is done. Goodluck.
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MammaRay, so sorry this is happening. With you. If counseling is something you can get cooperation from husband, it's a good thing with the right counselor. Chevy posted a link on Warm and Fuzzy's that was to Mark Gungor. That link was to one of his short excerpts that was more on the fun side. It was interesting enough that I looked at many of his topics. He does marriage counseling seminars nationwide. He has many on Youtube. He uses comedy, counseling and the bible to get his message across. Doesn't sound like they would mix, but it does. He has a topic to fit most problems. At least you can watch them in the privacy in your own home. Doesn't replace face to face counseling, but may help a bit. Hugs sweetie.
Loverly, I guess I sounded too dramatic. My frustration mostly was with the Web sites. They weren't user friendly. It got to be almost comedic after awhile. I kept after it until the review of the two free credit reports were done and the transunion dispute was done about that address appearing in my bio.The two errors that were on Transunion couldn't of impacted me too much. My credit score with them was 820 out of a possible 850. Experian was 816/850. It's just another hoop to jump through. I put a fraud alert a few years ago which goes until 2018. It prevents anyone from trying to get credit in my name with out me being spoken too. So I'm well covered. BTW a fraud alert is different than a freeze. A freeze is much more difficult to reverse if you decide to change it.
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Mamma. / that's a tough conversation. Sorry. I agree cancer sure adds a whole lot of stress to a marriage and family. Seems more and more like we are roommates or tag team parents. I've been trying to change that but dh seems so beaten down by all we've been thru the last 2 years since stage IX dx. Hoping the best for you whatever that is.
Chevy - was wondering how your grandson was doing.
Blonde. - what are you going to do in FL ? How you going to get there ? I hope you have a wk refill time. You deserve some vacation time.
Jazz love the lightening pic
Maria. - welcome.
Dang I can't remember everything else I was saying to everyone. Boo. Anyway hugs sll around
Hootie hoo
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Morning gals... MAN, it just is the worst when things are going wrong in a marriage... And it doesn't matter how old you are, or what the reasons are... It just tears both people apart...
When drinking is the major problem, there is just no fixin' when the chit hits the fan. Some of us can find a temporary reprieve by leaving.... running away... You have to run, because you are afraid.... Or just "falling out of love".... When both people are not "together" in their hearts, a marriage will break apart.
Sometimes going to "classes" where other's are in the same sinking boat... and listening..... Filing for divorce will shake some sense into them.... but staying away then going back, leaving, going back, and finally STAYING away until they get some sense knocked into them, will usually make a difference. But both of you will have to want it, more than anything else. One can't be the only one caring..........
It's like both of you have to hit the bottom... You have "lost" everything you have cared for, and now feel like you have nothing...... And you are just swimming in a sea of misery.
It's when you let it all go... give it up... cry until there is nothing left.... and then........... You start to see little pieces of light... maybe taking a phone-call... listening... meeting for coffee.... and listening..... asking for help, either through a church or professionals...... and listening.
But being apart is sometimes healing for both of you.... Sometimes old memories come back, and the rage and anger get pushed aside, and you are feeling sadness, lonliness and even "caring" starts coming back....
It's just so beautiful to live through something like that, and then can look back, and see how you have gone through hell... both of you.... and can re-connect and be really "together" again... I wish this for you MamaRay..
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MammaRay - I worked for a psychiatrist for a year. Believe you me all psychiatrists have their own. Why should a counselor be any different? If he chooses to see one he needs to be upfront with them about what he does when scheduling. Hopefully your area is big enough he can get away from his usual area. You/he would know best if he would even open up with someone he knew professionally already. Do you see any end to his stressors or is he taking on more and more? Is he escaping into his work? Avoidance? I'm just playing devil's advocate here. Ignore what I've said if it doesn't apply and I'm certainly in no way scolding/prying/or even expecting any answers. Just things to ponder. Again I remind myself with my DH that I cannot, cannot in any way change his behavior. As much as I cajole/whine/slam doors/sulk. I can only change the way I respond to it. Have you checked with your cancer center for counseling for you even if he won't go? You have tons on your plate to deal with for sure without this. ((((HUGS)))) sweet sister.
Blondie - some advice from a former hospice nurse. JUST in case - have your hospice there make arrangements with a hospice in FL if you need anything. This is very commonly done and I bet knowing your part of the country and snowbirds they've done it many times. Oxygen stuff breaks, tubing leaks, not to mention meds. Driving or flying? I had a pt who would reg. travel from the Ft. Worth area to San Antonio like every 2-3 months. Made a good relationship with a hospice there. She eventually moved down there to sister's house. Much better to be safe than sorry. A hospice should be more than willing to do this - in their best interest. Maybe call the social worker to get it started - who used to do ours. Make sure you have plenty of documentation for your meds. Get hospice to print out your care plan or something very official from them. I had meds mailed to that pt who traveled but I had a pharm. that did only hospice so they were used to it. Any chance your oxygen is supplied by NHME? If so they are national. I know you know strategies to keep your meds safe. Be extra vigilant in strange environments - just sayin'.
Rose - hope the pain is easing some. Teenagers - what can I say?
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morning ladies. It's quiet on here today. Everybody sleeping ? I hope everyone is out having do much fun they haven't had time to post today. Wouldn't that be awesome.
Mammaray - thinking of you.
Hugs all around. Hootie hoo
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Luvmygoats- I
everything you mentioned to Mamaray. Nice summary post of things to think about. I think if folks read posts like these in the spirit of shared experience and life experience and not neccessarily telling anyone what to do, then information/ different perspectives gets shared. I have never been a hospice nurse so I don't have any work experience in those waters and appreciate shared experience from those who have lived/worked been there. Anyway, the psychiatrists I have known saw other psychiatrists too, maybe for perspective and getting too close to your work kind of thing. I was never cheeky enough to ask.Teens are teens.. icky creatures. DD3 had a temper fit in front of all these folks over wanting DH to sign up people for a school jogathon. Here we were at someone's home, with county reps for our DD1 and it's all business. DD3 expected DH to tell everyone to cough up $! When he said no not here, DD3 marched out into the driveway of this home and threw all the jogathon papers on the ground with this F-you attitude. This is infront of like 9 people. I was so pissed that she behaved that way towards her Dad I could have throttled her. She refused to pick the papers up and made DH get them. This kid is 14 years old and going into 8th grade. I was disgusted and livid. Next day she still wouldn't say she was sorry. Teenagers suck.
The pain is absolutely worse. It woke me up at 3:30am more meds, was still up at 4:30 when DH made a bathroom run. He was like what are you doing up? "Waiting for meds to kick in".. everything takes for ever. Did finally make it back to sleep but walking and moving, sitting ..oy even my knee and thigh is hurting. Not sure what to do.. I remember some mild stenosis in the lumbar region but nothing else sticks out in my memory from recent scans. No numbness. I am sure something got tweaked that didn't want to be tweaked and is complaining with a vengence. Just have to wait it out.
At least it's sunny if you are sidelined. Hope everyone else is ok. 0 -
uugh.. I have been awake most of the night.. Might join you ladies here if I may.?
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Welcome! I was on line from 3-4am Pacific time and no one was around. Hi Lucy! Jump in.
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Welcome Lucy. Not so glad that you have to be here but glad we are here for you. I gather this thread used to have a bunch of posters from other side of the world. Per sister Sassy it was 24-7. Whatcha want to talk about?
Rose I wake up with hip pain sometimes. Know it's nothing like yours though. And I know it's really back pain. I try the back presses and the side stretches and sometimes it allows me to go back to sleep. Other times it says well you may as well start on the coffee truck.
Summer struck today. 90 degrees. Trying hard to stir up a thunderstorm. I like the rain just not the floods. Picky aren't I?
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Lots of counselors have their own counselor to talk to. Otherwise your get PTSD from your clients. So it's not uncommon at all.
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Hi Lucy! Welcome and good morning to you. Hope you find laughter, support, and love here.
Patty, I thought it was quiet this morning too. Thought maybe everyone was sleeping, except Ms. Chevy, so didn't make any noise.
Oh Rose, sorry I was sleeping until close to 5 am today. I was whooped yesterday for doing I don't know what. Went to bed at 9:30. Sciatica is no fun. First time I had it was when I was pregnant with my DD. Didn't know what it was. Everytime I put my right leg in front of my left, I would get this shooting pain down my right leg as if an arrow or something sharp went through my right butt. It was the weirdest pain. My right side still bothers me every so often but not as bad as the first time I experienced it. Teenagers are tough. My older seems to focus on self now more than before, sometimes with a sense of entitlement. We have to constantly remind her that there are others who have needs too
I really appreciate the wisdom shared on here. Sometimes, you want to comfort another hurting person, but really don't know how because you haven't gone through the situation yourself or have no experience with it. For me, keeping quiet is not easy because it seems like I am not acknowledging the pain/suffering, so sometimes I put my foot in my mouth. Surely don't want to be the "one" people talk about on 'The Stupid Things People Say' Forum because of my ignorance. I am humbled by the wisdom and experiences you ladies shared.
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Loverly- there are many things here I have not been through, but think we all have a shared sense of compassion for one another. If I have something helpful to share, I do, but if I am unable to offer anything, I just say I am sorry and offer a big virtual hug. I think whatever we can do helps.
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Hey lucy, welcome
Patty, absolutely nothing, just want 2 b there.
Luv thanks 4 the info, i am really hoping he will let me go, i need a break from the stupid people around here.
Didnt go to sleep til 430am hopefully tonight will b different.
How is everyone
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