Single life after a mastectomy
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Thanks, for the dragon, Simplicity. I hope your stomach is feeling better.
Enerva, I have looked at an old boyfriend and thought, "what was I thinking?"
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E- you are on a roll with those posts!
I went to SUCH a great concert tonight with this fabulous young jazz musician, Grace Kelly. She is a wonderful horn player (sax) but also an amazing vocalist. She put out such an amazing show with such diverse songs from gospel to rock to jazz to jazz standards. I got to meet her after and we chatted about horn playing. She is on her way to the top, so fun to meet a budding star!
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Morning ladies.
Thanks Cubbie. A bit better. How are things for you?
Jazz, that looks amazingly fun!
BB- That last meme...Timely eh?
Today is SP's birthday. I sent a card weeks ago, no word of the card. Nothing with the exception of the one text exchange. I am not texting him today. I tried. I reached out. 3yrs invested in a friendship only to have my trust rattled, once again. Ay yi yi.
Think I am going to head home after rad's today depending on how I feel. I am done with the broad rad's, now it's time for the boost. Which will only be focused on the incision area, which is looking much better btw! But the other areas, more skin has rubbed off and as I go through the day and move, it becomes more sore and irritated.
Hope all have a good day.
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wow simplicity rad is just brutal if you have to work . Hope you get some rest. When is all over? When do you have the boost rad? Hope it ends soon so your skin gets to heal.
Jazz I am happy for you
nice adventures and music .Bb my friend in Denver have been sending all the post due to she says she looked back and every man had disappointed her lol she is very depressed. Hopefully she new apt she is buying ll make thing easier.
More post
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Good morning friends!
Simplicity- sorry you have not heard from your friend. One of the worst things about this is loosing relationships you never expect to. I had two friendships really change during everything a few years back. It hurt when it was happening. The thing is, you really just cannot deal with other people's stuff during cancer treatment. It takes everything you have go to get through it. We are not responsible for people's emotions around this. I think sending a b-day card shows your willingness to keep in touch.
E- I hope you can get some good studying time in this weekend.
BB- I hope you are almost done with the god awful training. Fingers crossed the potential job you mentioned comes from tolerating all this BS.
Wishing everyone a good day
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BB, I am done the 25th. Have to go all the way through with the exception of Saturday
Jazzy, I am trying not to think about it. I'll be alright. We'll all be alright. One way or another, I suppose
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K here are a few sad ones
Well Denver friend posted some sad notes and I hope she has better days
She seems to be getting lonely due to xtmas aproach it really hurts many people .for some is is a time for happiness for others is for sadness
Just the way it is
I know it won't bring happiness to me .this year I don't even plan to give gifts I just want to pretend xtmas is another month .
Hope is all over fast lol
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Those are sad E.
Must have summoned SP, or no one wished him a happy birthday yet cause I just got an email thanking me for the card (that should have arrived weeks ago), telling me he's been keeping up with my progress (fb update page. He did not remove himself. I considered it), and that he's glad I seem to be doing well. He has lots of drama going on and thanks for thinking of him. I didn't ask. Just replied simply that I alway will think of him. He left his mark. Happy birthday. Hope its a good one, and 4 more rads!!!! That was it.
Hm. Funny. Just funny. And weird. Men are weird.
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Hi ladies- on my way out to dinner with my friends who moved here from LA. Had a super busy but good day.
Simplicity- sounds like some simple sharing. Good to not engage in others drama, we don't need that during any of this. Whoot whoot on 4 more rads. I hope that your skin is holding up. We are going to have one huge on line party when you are done with rads.
E- sorry to hear about your friend in Denver. Holidays are not easy for most people. Very hard when people are missing, or you cannot afford a turkey or Xmas presents, etc. I lay low from Thanksgiving to New Years, out of professional stuff I get invited to. No Norman Rockwell family going on this way.
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Simplicity, sounds like SP has gotten really weird. No reason he can't say "thanks for the card", just as one friend to another. Guys, who can figure. And they complain about us.
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well ladies it's almost 11pm I am off to bed . I have a friend who ll give me a ride to college tmw but he could only pick me up at 6:15am which means I ll be at college by 6:45am my exam start at 9am so I ll just study wile I wait.
I am supper estresed and tired I study all afternoon I really hope I pass this time.I ll post tmw morning before I go in.
Wish me luck
Oh ya car was not ready I left it at the mechanic yesterday that is why I am on need of a ride. I ll figure out how to come back home since it's far from where I live .
Sometimes I feel as if everything for me is just a straggler a fight nothing is ever easy
Have a great night
Sending u all love.
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Good luck, Enerva - you've been working really hard, that's got to pay off.
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I hope so
Good night I can't fell sleep
Everytime I have a exam it estres the crap out of me
cuz last time I got 74 and need 75 minimum to pass After chemo my brain is fry it's just not easy to memorize anymore
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E- good luck on the exam. I think you have this one!
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ok so I got here and the security guard did not let me in til now I was standing out side with 4 de grade froze my a s s lol
I am in now I ll study till the exam start at 9
It's 7am
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Good luck E!!! Were all in your pocket! I'd whisper the answers to you but given my pocket size, you probably couldn't hear me haha
Ugh the holidays. It's my year with the kids, but as I always do, ex will get the kids for a bit. My side has no involved cousins or any family left really. They have lots over there and I remember as a child how fun that was (or painful depending on where you fit I to the age groups haha). So it's important to me that they get time over there. Course, no matter how I try I'm doing it wrong according to ex.
I go to my other families every year after they leave or to my moms then there the years they're with Ex.
Hope all have a great day! Thinking of you E! You got this!
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Good morning ladies!
E- thinking of you this morning and sending you positive energy for good outcomes on your test. You have been working so hard on this and know you will do well. It will be good to have this one done!
I think the hard part about the holidays for single folks without family around are those questions "what are you doing for the holidays?" and then if you say you have no specific plans, you get a weird look from people. Even if I am hanging out by myself, I just learned to say I have plans and move on to another topic. Holidays are stressful for people, and I have been invited to other people's family holiday gatherings where you find yourself in the midst of their family politics and holiday fights. I would rather stay home and enjoy my own company that be in the middle of other people's arguments. Bad holiday behavior!
Simplicity- if you find yourself with some space over Xmas, do something fun for yourself you might not normally do. One of my favorite things to do when spending holiday time alone is to make myself a good meal and binge watch movies or some movie series. One year when I was in grad school long ago, I spent Xmas with some friends and the guys went fishing and the women went to the movies! I remember being surprised that the movie theaters were open on Xmas Day!
BB- how was your evening with your boys? Did you enjoy a good dinner together?
Got some things to do this morning here at home, some more music this afternoon, a trip to the gym later. Wishing you all a good day.
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BB- am glad getting out and about is helping you. When you spend a lot of time alone, it is very hard to be back into routines. Even though I have not been working much this year, I still am out many days a week networking, doing prof org events, connecting with friends. I know when I got back into the client site soon, that will help me. You are tracking into the new chapter of your life, and keep that going. It is indeed tiring keeping up with everything.
I did find a plan through a not for profit health plan that was set up a few years ago here and is doing well. It has everything in network I need and runs around $400 a month. That is about what I am paying now, but it is also deductible through my business. The out of pockets are much higher this year so I have to be thinking of that going forward to ensure I have that in my "slush fund." I am not going to opt for the business plan for the 1 person at this time as I get can the coverage I need through the other (and it is also $200 plus less per month). I plan to put in my application tomorrow for the new coverage.
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hi .well I finished in 2 hours so hope I nail or this time
the worse is to Wait for the results hopefully by Thursday we ll know how I did. I am now in my bed and guess doing wha ? Lol my favorite crocheting and TV on lol
Finally I get one week off the books
Then I ll start to study for the next exam which is Jan 30.
That if I pass this one lol
I am positive but at the same time scared cuz I got so close last time and then failed
So much to memorize
I ll relax now I am so glad is over.
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Jazzy, glad to hear your found an insurance plan. I used to buy private insurance years ago, and it was a big job comparing plans and trying to find something affordable.
BB, do you have any problems finding doctors who take Medicaid where you are? I've heard that it can be difficult in some areas.
Enerva, sounds like a good plan for the rest of your Saturday. Looks like you have some sports on the TV?
I think I'll head out to one of my favorite sandwich shops this evening. That's a wild and crazy Saturday night for me!
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BB- I work in healthcare so I probably understand the US system better than most. Insurances companies are most for profit companies. Big carriers like Blue Cross, Aetna, United Healthcare, are mostly for profit businesses. Which ultimately means they are accountable to shareholders to deliver a profit. It is the same for hospitals, some are for profit and some are not for profit. Think of for profit and "corporate America." Not for profits are not driven by outsiders to make money for them.
Insurance companies also have business plans for businesses that have employees. Those are called group plans. Most insurance companies do not however have group plans for a business of 1 (like me). But one company here now does. You have to own a business to get a group biz plan or you have to be an employee of a company to participate in a group biz plan.
ACA are the plans that allow people to get individual coverage that is not based on age, pre-existing conditions, etc. The are individuals plans but there are also non-ACA plans for individuals as well. I used to have one of those back in my 30]s when I first started contracting on my own, but those types are impossible for any of us to get with our big pre-existing condition.
In the future, if the ACA plans get more restrictive, I may have to go for a group plan for my business that is more expensive. But not doing that this year. Going to go with the ACA plan for now.
Here is to all of us staying healthy forever!
E- glad you got through the exam. You had other things going on last time that would have not made it easy to get through that exam. I have good vibes you kicked it today and will be on to the next exam. Until then, relax with TV and crocheting!
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BB, it seems like dermatologists are tough to find in general. I know people around here with employer provided insurance have had trouble finding an in-network dermatologist who is accepting new patients. It's a shame there are no mental health options for Medicaid patients in your area. The U.S. so frequently falls short in that area.
Jazzy, I thought at least some of the BCBS companies were non-profit? I thought there was controversy with them that they were non-profit, and yet were carrying massive reserves? I'm no financial wiz, I only know what my relatives talk about. I don't listen to closely to that stuff, way too boring. I go hang with my cousins who talk houses and cars.
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Cubbie- you are right that there are some contracted BSBC groups that are classified as not for profits. I changed my post to reflect that "most" are for profit. I did know there was contention about the not for profits, because many are labeled as not for profit, but have had for profit behaviors. This article speaks of some of those groups and some stripped of that not-for-profit status.
http://www.beckershospitalreview.com/payer-issues/...
What I liked about BSBC was the flexibility of doctors and also being able to access out of state healthcare more easily. I had to do that for part of my BC treatment and know others here on bco have had to do so as well. They wanted a 50% increase here on ACA rates this year, and we have a regulatory agencies here that governs the approvals of those types of requests. Most in the ACA market were looking for a 5-7% increase in rates. Our reg agency said no, and they announced they were pulling out of ACA this year.
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wow I am such an ignorant when it comes to insurance.
I need to get critical illness insurance for my mortgage that is one thing I did not have and got in so much debt by not working and getting only 60% of my salary for 2 years .
Now that we had bc are we still elegible to get critical illness insurance? I am not sure
I need to find out
Anyway it's a nice bright morning here but cold so I won't adventure out .
I must do laundry and cleaning and it's something boring I wish I could have a better plan for today .
I was looking at a video in youtube but keep getting interrupted so I am trying to clean the labtop maybe is about too much junk on the c drive.
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E- the insurance stuff I shared is very specific to the US. The healthcare system here is a very complicated one. I have worked in a lot of different industries through the years and healthcare is by far the craziest of them.
I don't know about critical illness insurance. It is a good question though about whether you can get it having had bc. I would generally inquire without divulging your health history by asking whoever helps you with a policy around that what types of questions you will need to answer. I know things like life insurance and disability ask you if you have had any major illnesses in the past 5 years. I get those requests in the mail all the time from my biz and personal ins. carriers about life insurance (which I don't need since i have no dependents), and they ask specifically about cancer. Sometimes they will exclude conditions if they know you have already had them. Then you have to ask what is the point of buying a product you cannot use?
My sister is a doctor and she told me the US medical profession is trying to educate their doctors better about the financial impacts of treatment to patients. We all know cancer treatment is enormously expensive and has been known to bankrupt people. Other illnesses can do that as well. I don't think treating people and getting them better to the point they loose everything is a good outcome. It is hard to deal with those questions when you are sick and scared. I had to point blank tell my doctors "listen, I am single and self employed and need to understand the financial impacts here." With that, I got my answers.
Did you make anything fun last night with that yellow yarn?
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BB- wow about your friend owing a million dollars.
And what guy got out of prison? Is that the guy you met in the liquor store? The other guy you were having fun with gone now?
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oh dear bb
Let me tell you.
The guy from the dealer send me a text saying good morning which I did not see till late on that day do in the afternoon he send me another piss off cuz I was ignoring him. I must say I hate man who expect me to be texting lots when I don't even know them. So that been said I told him I did not see his msg I had a busy day. Now silent
I don't think I ll see him. I don't really care ither lol
About your new prospect if I were u I would stay away from trouble. I heard many man who come out of jail are just bad news. Honestly I am afraid of people who brake the law. One thing is to eat the red light cuz u thought u could make it before it turns red. And another is to drink and drive . You need a man who is trouble free. Well I am single and alone so what do I know. All I know is that the last thing I need is a man annoying me or causing me any kind of stress.
I ll suport what ever you do but be careful
It's just my opinion. He maybe a good person I don't know
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