Single life after a mastectomy
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BB, I have no words. Other than I heard you. I wish all gets better soon.
Hey I have one of my high school friends in Denver, CO she has been to Canada twice to visit me and she keeps ask I no me to go visit her before my surgery. She figures I LL have surgery and I LL start working then I won't be able to go see her for a year or longer. That is most likely what ll happen. She is offering the ok pay for my trip there, but I honestly don't want her spending that money. I am thinking of driving there lol it's takes 24 hours lol well I guess I LL drive then stay in a motel one night then continue. I always wanted to do a long trip like that. Where do you live again? If you are on that route I can stop by and grab a coffee lol I haven't decide yet since it's a long trip and maybe it's just too crazy. I may better take a bus to búfalo then flight from there it's cheaper. Not sure yet. All depends on my appointment with new Ps. Any body who feel like getting on a road trip. Let me know lol I figure I don't know when ll I ever be able to do something that crazy so why not. Since I have no pets and no husband I am free to pick up and go. Lol
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BB, I have one of my high school friends in Denver, CO she has been to Canada twice to visit me and she keeps asking me to go visit her before my surgery. She figures I LL have surgery and I LL start working then I won't be able to go see her for a year or longer. That is most likely what ll happen. She is offering to pay for my trip there, but I honestly don't want her spending that money. I am thinking of driving there lol it's takes 24 hours lol well I guess I LL drive then stay in a motel one night then continue. I always wanted to do a long trip like that. Where do you live again? If you are on that route I can stop by and grab a coffee lol I haven't decide yet since it's a long trip and maybe it's just too crazy. I may better take a bus to búfalo then flight from there it's cheaper. Not sure yet. All depends on my appointment with new Ps. Any body who feel like getting on a road trip. Let me know lol I figure I don't know when ll I ever be able to do something that crazy so why not. Since I have no pets and no husband I am free to pick up and go. Lol
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well never mind I just looked at my pills I would need to bring lots of pain killer pills to make such a long trip by car lol last week I did some outdoor bicycle and the next day I paid the price lol my joints were all very painful, plus my chest area it's just not getting any better now the right side the rad side gets cramps and it's very painful. I just got off the phone telling my girlfriend to just wait for another year cuz I don't have the spirit to go now. I feel bad cuz she is been to visit me twice but I better just focus on my books 📚 I need to pass my course my chemo brain is just all over the place .Bb I wish you could be here so I could help you in Some way. I keep playing the lottery and if luck decides to knock my door you will kiss good bey all those problems you have right now. I also told my friend just that, even if she pays for.my trip I will end up spending money I don't have right now , the trip I took home cost me a lot. I sold my bike and Still didn't make back the money I spent . Plus my heart broke in 1mm pieces to let go of my motorcycle
hope one day I LL have money to get another one. 0 -
BB, yesss ha ha ha I try to play at least once a month I figure that is my only chance for the universe to show me some love ha ha ha I also pick my # like my siblings birthdays. And I have won $20 even $50 lol
I know is very hard to win millions but I figure if I don't play I will never win lol
bb, please try to find something to distract your mind, I know this time is very hard, I also struggle with the money situation only getting 60% of my salary but I know I can't take the stress of the office convine with my pain and depression. I know once I get the surgery and feel better then I LL be ok to get back to Work. I am not strong mentally right now but I have my hopes on my revision surgery. I LL try to do acupuncture to see if the pain improves but only after surgery cuz now I can feel the think scares under my rad side and it's just not way I can do much unless it's removed.
Keep positive something will change soon. I have not idea but I can feel we will get pass this and we will look back and say wow we made it
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My appointment is in 2 days so July 02 at 9am let me know if you want me to call you. If you are still up
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hi girls
Enerva i am available for the road trip.
Bosum blues you are in my thoughts God bless you .we are all have problems but its very hard to deal with cancer chemo n hospital appointments and its really unfair .keep ur self busy do whatever you want to keep yourself busy i keep my self busy i dont want to think about anything
Now i am feeling better so i spend my day cleaning up house i dont want to do anything i have no interest in my house sometimes i feel its motel i am the only one who takecare of everything we are separated in same house its very strange feeling living with someone who is about to leave us whose future will not belong to me n my kids .i feel i am in under observation i dont feel comfortable in my own bed room sleeping alone.somebody is enjoying to see me in pain .i have wasted my precious 20 yrs wid that man .
I will try to see 3 lawyers in july regarding scissor case.
I have nipple recon on 18 july hopefully i will see my plastic surgeon for the last time .how should i communicate wid her just normal way ?
I
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Milkyway I wish you could get the nipple done by my new Ps, he is your PS s boss. Yes he is. Trust me if you are going to seak help against your Ps, then I think you should not see her any more. This is serious maybe ask the lawyer if you should still see her. If you must see her you better talk to your lawyer first.
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Milky- I agree with some of the others here with respect to the PS. It may be time to cut the cord and find someone else to do your nipple recon. This person injured you and if you have her do more work, she could injure you again. It may also work against your case. You should talk to the lawyers first.
If you do decide to do the consult, even later, do not say anything about what you are about to do legally. I am sure she has already notified her organization and perhaps their malpractice insurance group. They will take care of themselves, you take care of yourself.
We went through a malpractice case with our mother who got injured by a rehab facility (think I told you about it), so I know a little bit about this, but also know you live in different country so things may be different. Be sure to ask the lawyers about what types of malpractice/personal injury cases they do and their success rate with winning the cases.
I am sorry you have to go through this on top of BS and your separation. I did not have much interest in my house for a long time either (just getting back into it now actually almost two years later). Stick to the basics, it is all you have the energy to do right now.
And finally, I am sorry you feel so uncomfortable in your home too. I live alone, so I did not have those challenges, but did experience plenty of avoidance/weirdness with some after telling them I had bc. I have let a those people go and/or pushed them to the periphery of my life. Just don't need it in my world.
I think the last twenty years represent a chapter in your life now closing. There is a new chapter opening. Remember that the best days of our lives are often yet to come.
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Milky - Ditto on what everyone else here is saying about the PS.
Also, Milky, for more than a year, I was in the same situation that you're in - separated in the house, with the husband still living there with the kids and me. So, I know how you feel - it feels like living in a nightmare. When he finally moved out, I felt so much happier! I hope you will, too. Divorce is (sadly) so common. So many people I know are getting divorced, which always surprises me because they appeared to be perfect couples.
BTW, I received some worrisome news about my BS. I consider my BS to be my hero. Her lifelong mission has been to fight BC and help women. Now, suddenly, I'm hearing that she has decided not to do surgery, anymore. She stopped because of an illness. No word on what the illness is. But, for this BS to stop doing surgery, something major had to happen. I've been assured that she'll be OK, and I'm hoping that's true. She too was divorced - her husband left when her children were little. So many women go through divorce, and most of them say they're happier now. I hope that'll be true for you and me, too.
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Milky I agree with the ladies here, In my case I saw her only one time after my exchange and it was 3 weeks after my surgery. I saw her only to confront her about my results because even from the time of the surgery I already knew things did not look right. I saw her and I made clear to her I would never see her again. I then started to look for a new Ps. I saw one who was her colleague and he turned me down, made me feel terrible and told me to be greatful I am alive. Then my onco saw me and said my results were not acceptable and I told her about what happen. My onco then asked me to see this new Ps and told me he is my previous ps superior so that means he is the head of the Ps at Prince Margaret plastic surgery area. You can look him up. I was afraid of seen him cuz i though he could turn me down, he didn't he told me he could have a talk with her to understand what she did. He saw the surgical records and told me to my face that those records say nothing. THANK YOU!!! I looked at him and say omg you agree with me? He said off course this tell me nothing I need to know what exactly she did. THERE you go!!! Thats what Bb, is saying. That Ps can write things in her notes and have it against you. If you must see her I will suggest you bring someone with you do not see her alone. Have a witness with you. I had my sister with me at the time I asked her all my questions and my sister is my witness.
Anyway look up my new Ps. His name is Dr. STEFAN HOFER he is very profesional. I have my hopes on him now.
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hi to all my well wisher you all are right problem is i am having pain and still feel a knot under my skin .x ray is fine ultrasound s fine my family dr refuse to do anything for me i felt that.she told me go n ask zhong what is that so i called her secretary n made appointment for follow up and nipple recon at the same time .i wanted to solve the pain prob the reason of pain which she n God knows whot is going in my abdomen lawyer said it will take 1 to 5 yrs if i sue her i was smiling coz who knows i will b here to hear that we win or loose.
A big scar is there and i have letter in which she mentioned it was mistake .
At this point she can tell me when i will recover from reconstruction when i will be pain free i have 2 yr to sue her in the mean time should i suffer with pain too any suggestion?
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Milky here is my suggestion, you call your useless family doctor, you tell her you have been thinking and you need to see a second opinion, and that you have the name and fax # of the head of surgery at Prince Margaret and that you need her to fax a referral to him. If your family doctor does not do that for you. You then go to a walking clinic explain your situation and get them to send the referral, if not then your onco can do the referral. Once they send the referral you can call the secretary of Dr. Xxxxx and ask her to help you get In as soon as possible cuz you have a lot of pain. Trust me this is something even the worse family doctor can do for any patient.
I will Pm the fax and # for the Ps now.
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THAnx Enerva now everybody is afraid to touch me hahaha
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Trust me I know I am in your same shoes. The good thing is that this Ps, will be happy to fix what ever mess the previous one made, cuz it gives him a way of teaching her what not to do. He is a great Dr. So far that is what I felt. I will pray you get to meet him, then you can tell me what you think. You have nothing to lose just try pls.
If he or any body ask you why you did not go back to her, simply say you lost trust in her ability to help you. And you leave it at that. No need to discuss it further.
That is what I told him and he respected that. So I am sure he will help you.
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Milkyway- you need help with the pain management but don't think the BS needs to be the one to do that for you. Enerva has some good ideas about how to get some help. Separate the pain management issues from the bad doctor and legal issues. You should not live in pain while you are seeking compensation for what happened to you. I am so sorry this is happening.
BB- hang in there. That is awful you have been cancelled on 4 times by the doctor. I have had to reschedule with docs usually once on occasion but never that much. The scheduling dept sounds bad. Ask to talk to the office manager, they all have them.
Enerva- I like your idea of that road trip but you may need some help with driving that much. That is more than I would want to drive alone at this point in my life.
Life- so sorry to hear about the loss of you BS for the time being and hopefully she will be okay. Stuff happens to the doctors too. I am seeing a CNP this year for my annual gyn follow up as my gyno is having knee replacement surgery. I hope your doc will be okay.
I finished my 19 month contract today and going to shift gears to take are of me, my home and spend some time with family in a few weeks.
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Bb, hope all gets better soon, yesterday I went to visit an old friend I have not seen since before bc.She had not idea of what happen and it was nice to see her.She was a go train friend, that's how we met and it was great to hang out with her and her dog.
life, hope your doctor 😷 will be ok
Jaz ,congrats on finishing the job now you can relax a bit
Milkyway ,I hope you get to see someone else to help with the pain and other issues.
Today ,I will just study and watch the soccer game ,hoping for sizerlandh to win.
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Lots of Canadian friends here on this thread and this is for you gals up north!
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lol thanks jazz,
Bb, 88? Hummm maybe 98 lol I hope I don't last that long, I worry I LL be alone and I fear that. Mom past at 80 and she was pretty tired.
Well yes it's Canada day and I am indoor, not desire to go for a walk even though I need it.
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BB, hope your dog gets well soon, I think it was the worse time when my dogs got sick, it killed me that they could not talk and tell me how much it was hurting
it makes us feel so helpless 😣 I agree with you here in Toronto is very hot too. I had to turn on the ac last night which I never really do. Sometime you just have to lol
I am getting anxiety about my appointment . Can't focus on other things.
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BB- what happened to the friend you met at the pool. Did you ever go to her church group?
Enerva- I get a lot of anxiety before apts too. I just tell myself I can handle anything I hear. Draw upon the strength that has gotten you through until now.
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BB- I am glad you are still going to try the church group. Does not hurt to check it out. Clubs are not a place I care to go anymore because I just feel too old there, but I know what you are saying. It is the idea that things are different now and we know we won't feel comfortable there anymore with our body changes.
Anyways, I hope you feel good at the church group and meet nice people there.
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its 3:12am I woke up and can't fall sleep again
I wish one day I can sleep through the night without pain in my breast. I can't stand it. I didn't have this burning feeling when I had the TE, then that Ps mess my pockets by enlarging them and now the pain is constand. I can't wait to get it fix. 0 -
BB- that is good to hear. Many people are fighting battles just as we are/have been and most of us are not even aware of what that is for most people. Finding a kind supportive community of people who accept us for who we are as we are is so important.
Enerva- sorry about the pain. I hope you can get some resolution to the pain with your upcoming appointment. No way to live.
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I read this on a FB post this morning and it has so many good things in it to consider to help us take better care of ourselves. I hope you find it helpful.
I am going to print it off and keep a copy handy as a daily reminder.....
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ok so I am happy cuz i sign all paper for the new Ps. Consent forms etc but I feel sad cuz he had no clue as per when is the date. Basically he said I need to wait for his secretary to book the date now. He told me to call her. I called her as soon as I got out of the door lol and left a msg telling her all forms were signed and that i am ready just need her to find me a date as soon as possible.
there you go that's how it is here in Canada 🍁 .;) Also sent a pm to milkyway cuz have given her a wrong phone# for him lol I gave her our old ps s # in error . He has the correct fax # n now the correct phone # I have to say I am impressed with him he seams to know exactly what needs to be done. He said the implant she used it's an anatomical one and I lost the fullness of the upper poles. Figures
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He believe the pain will improve he also said he will give me a referral for massage therapy after surgery. He think the fact that she did some work on the pockets to enlarge made this pain more intense, yes he know she mess up. I hope milky let him help her so he can find out about what happened, anyway work is on hold until I am done with this surgery I will pray it happens soon. I need to get this pain under control in order to be able to sit at my desk and deal with the projects and developers. Sister is in panic, she is sad and depressed about the way her breast look
and it's understandable if you see it it's like a horror movie but it's all ok cuz i know the implants will eventually move down and will fill in the space plus the ematoma will clear up with time. I will Pm you know. 0 -
So I don't think I told you guys about my date I am going to have when I go back east in another week or so. An old friend I have known since childhood and reconnected with on FB. He was living in Florida and interestingly enough, met up with someone from our class back in CT when he was visiting his dad and it sparked a romance. So he moved back to CT a few years ago.
He had picked up from some FB chat that I was going to be back in CT and asked if I would like to get together? I was surprised at first, thinking about that other woman from high school, but went looking and no sign of her/them on his page. So I queried his sister who I also know and she said they split up in the spring. She said he won't leave to go back to Florida right now, as their dad is aging and needs someone around to help (the sister lives a few states away).
Anyways, I think it will be fun, he was always a nice guy and think it will be fun to have a relaxing evening out with an old friend and hopefully some quality male companionship!
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jazzz you go girl, I am happy for you. I also was invited to go out this Saturday not as a date but as a pasanger of a biker in my old bikers group ha ha ha I LL go I miss my bike. So I need to go and enjoy some riding
no romance but more like fun and who knows maybe it'll be introduced to a biker single hot Channing lol 0 -
If we've learned anything from our experience, it's that life is short. And it looks like many of you have some great plans coming up:
Jazzy - Enjoy your date. :-)
Enerva - Enjoy riding with your bikers group.
BB - Enjoy your family event.
Everyone - I hope you all enjoy the rest of the week. :-)
BTW, has anyone heard from Bdavis? I'm wondering how the dating experience is going.
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Bdavis, yes that's right, I also worry about Tessa. It's been so.long. I will drive like 2 or 3 hours north then go for a 6 hours ride in the back of a Harley lol o ll take pictures and send during the ride. It's a bunch of crazy dudes. Lol I LL be fun
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