Single life after a mastectomy
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Hey, Milky. :-)
It's 2:48 a.m. where I'm at. Did Piper go to work yet? Piper - I hope you have a good work shift! I admire the work that you and the other nurses do, and it's wonderful that you and your friend are making angel gowns (though it's heartbreaking knowing what that means).
Enerva - I love that photo of the three beautiful girls. I once had a nurse who used to work with pediatric cancer patients, and he said the children are very strong - tougher than adults. It was very heartening to hear that.
Welcome, Sparkle.
BB - We miss you!
Jazzy - I wish I had your social life. lol
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lol I am still awake it's 2:45am I think life is finally sleeping.
milky good luck with your exams.
PIPER hope works goes smooth lol
I was watching TV ll try to sleep now. Still staring at the ceiling. Hey here is the top of crochet today
I love it green aqua
To wear when I go to cancun lol
Next year
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http://www.post-gazette.com/life/fashion/2014/07/2...
The link above is the story about my coworker and the concepts beginnings in general.
Okies. Off to see a deck chair about some morning sun and quiet time.
hugs and maybe I will have some photos later.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Piper
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Good morning ladies- I slept well after the FM yoga last night. I was going to go to Santa Fe today for a break from the house, but decided I am going to stay home and do some cooking instead. I have some good stuff in the fridge and wanting to get it into some things, and also try out the new juicer I just bought.
E- what a beautiful top! I love aqua/mint too. It is my favorite color this year and everywhere too! You are right in style, girlfriend. And wonderful to make some things so you can put those together for your trip to Cancun. It is really important to have things to look forward to down the line and you have found yours.
Piper- that article about the angel dresses is so beautiful. I know the loss of a child is the worst experience a parent can ever have, and loosing one so early is even more heartbreaking. I have had several friends who have lost preemies at birth or have had still births. What a compassionate and lovely thing you have become involved with. Those babies and families are lucky to have you.
Milky- what kind of exams?
Sparkle- welcome and glad to find a fellow yogi here. I have been doing outdoor full moon yoga with this one teacher for many years. I am in the process of letting go of a lot of old stuff and putting some intentions out there for the next chapter of my life now opening. And one more supermoon to go (will do my next and final outdoor FM yoga in Sept too).
Life- did you get any rest in the end last night?
By the way, there are Persied meteor showers going on right now too until 8/13. I know we all have sleepless nights here, and if you find yourself up middle of the night, go look to the northeast and see what you see. We might as well take advantage of our insomnia to see something beautiful in the skies.
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piper thanks for sharing the link. There are angels after all here in this world 🌍
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The setting of our outdoor yoga practice last night. The gardens were just so beautiful. The pink flowers around the hollyhocks in the middle are from the amaryllis family. Our host cut and gave each of us some to take home too. They have the most wonderful aroma. I feel blessed by the experience last night.
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wow, jazz that is so nice, reminds me of the places up north.
I am getting ready to go exercise and then for my walk cuz i want to star knitting a dozen tops for my sisters to sell in cancun and I know once I start I get out of control lol I submerge myself into knitting and forget to come out for air lol
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Jazz those gardens are beautiful.
My coworker and I 'deconstructed' at least 12 gowns in @ 2hours. People were dropping gowns off while I was there. 2 treasures today were a light pink and light blue gown. The first colored gowns of the lot and I got to bring them home with me to figure out how to cut patterns. I never realized what hard work it was to pull apart gowns for the material and some appliques. There are several dresses that still had tags on them.
Some of my loot. That box is huge and filled with a lot of material to keep me busy. I am also pumped to have something to keep me occupied over the long winter when I hibernate.
Sitting on my deck, enjoying the cool evening breeze. I checked out the yahoo concert series. One Republic is featured tonight for my internet concert buddies
920pm EST. They were just here in town, but I chose not to go (for various reasons) I am loving this year long series by Yahoo. xoxoxoxoxoxo
Piper
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Piper- great post. On all you are doing with the recycled wedding gowns for the angels. And your comment at the end is right on. To love ourselves, and I might add, take care of ourselves too. To work to move forward as best we can, knowing we are forever changed. I am right with you and find I have so much more clarity these days then I ever have before. I think the bc sort of striped away a lot of denial about certain situations
I had a somewhat surprising, but perhaps freeing conversation with my sister today. She and her partner of 30 plus years may be moving from CA back to CT next year (where we are all from) when my sister retires. Although my sister is my only immediate family member remaining, and having a relationship is important to me, there has been a lot of pressure on me from both of them with respect to things that they expect me to do for them or people in my sister in laws family that are not my responsibility. It has been really bad the past year. My sister and I just came off a really hard 8 year stint with elder care with our mother the year we both got BC (2012). I was glad to do that for our mom, but cannot go through it again and for someone I don't even know. I am also tired of being the one expected to step and show up. I can't do it anymore, part of my new normal.
Anyways, I think it will be good for them if they move back east, although they will be much further away. They have never been happy in CA for 20 years, and I have had to hear about it the whole way through. There is some family and friends back there too. We can meet up for vacations as we have been doing, or I can see them when I go back east for family events (like I just did in July). Perhaps everyone here is moving forward from all we have just come through and my hope is that if they go live where they are happy (as you know I really love where I live), perhaps we can have a better relationship. That is my hope.
I hope everyone has a good week!
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I am going to bitch for a second......
OK
DONE
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jazzy girl i am doing ECE early childhood education
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piper, thanks for sharing the pictures and history of the wedding gown project for the angels. I can't imagine what must be like for those moms.
Jazz, I hear you. I have to tell you I came to Canada when was 19, and I never went back to live close to my family I love them but like you say I realized over the years that I am better off far and alone. My sisters where always very posesive and they loved to control me due to me been the youngest. I now love the idea of going and seen them on vacation but I know I could not live there again. Perhaps that is why we are so close now cuz the distance makes us appreciate each minute we have together when we get those moments. I also know how it feels to be always the one who has to be there for the rest and to give, give, give without even asking or considering that we too are individuals who have life. Lol
It's mid night let's see when do I manage to sleep lol
Good night
Bb, I miss you
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Enerva- sounds like you and I have some similar dynamics with our families. I am the youngest too (of 3) but only two of us remain as my brother passed many years ago. I moved away from my family to go to grad school when I was 23, but then ended up going back after I graduated and lived there 10 years. From the time I got back, I wanted to leave again and then some things happened in my family that required me to just be there and helping. When I finally got the chance to leave again 18 years ago, I did and knew I would not go back again. I wondered how you ended up living in Canada from Venezuela, but think I now know the answer....
Milky- well that is great you are getting some early childhood ed education. I wish you well on your test and let us know when you pass so we can cheer you on!
I am going to get busy putting some things together this week to put into a yard sale to lighten my load here and also do some networking for new work. I think I told you how I had this work I was hoping to do starting this month, but the the decision got delayed from early July to later the end of the month. There was no word as of the third week of July, and I called my contact after the deadline passed end of July and left a message that I wanted to discuss some options with him. That was about 10 days ago and no call back. So I am going to let that be now, as end of July was my deadline and with no better info to go on, I must must move on to find something else to do. It was only one possibility and there are others. I have been talking to a couple other folks the past few weeks and going to a professional org meeting tomorrow to see if I can get any leads on possible work there.
The good thing is that I had wanted to take July and August off to have some time to get these home reno projects done, so I am back to my original plans. Things have a way of working themselves out the way they are supposed to. I am being open to the right work at the right time. My goal is to get working on a new project by Sept.
I hope everyone else here has a good week with all you are doing and preparing for.
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lol Jazz, yes we are very similar. So for me I first went to France at 17 right after I finished high school. To help one of my sisters she just had her baby and needed help. I study French and helped her with the baby. Then I went back to vzla and I wanted to learn English so my sisters wanted to send me on a course plan to Trinidad. Due to not been in the list for university. The way it works in Vzla is that every year your name must be on a list which is public on the newspapers ever year. So in the time you are waiting for that you trybto study other languages if you can afford it. My family was not well off but all my sisters and brothers made sure to keep the youngest 3 busy with courses. When I was in France I learner French very fast in 6 months I was already speaking so that's why my sisters thought if I could go to Trinidad for a 6 months program that could be all I needed. Lol in my head my plan was to then run away ha ha ha one day we were told that there were courses as students exchange in Canada and much cheaper so I ended up coming here for 6 months. After that I found work and I decided I was no going back it was my chance to be on my own. don't get me wrong I still did a lot from far but I was alone no body to listen to no body to decide who I was friends with or where I went. I was never a trouble girl but I had a strong character and I hated the way my life was always decided with not choices so that's how I got away.
in a way I was always a good girl never party, never did drugs and I guess I thanks my family for that cuz they did safe me from bad things but at the same time living my teen years under the control of so many was a nightmare. mom was a sweet heart never controlling but she could never stand and stop my older siblings. back then you had to obeid your elder siblings no matter what.Hope you find the perfect job soon Jazz
Bb, hope you cone back soon
Life maybe you managed to get some rest.
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Envera- you have had some very interesting life experiences. I have lived in several places around the US (CT, Mass, Maine, Texas and now New Mexico) and have traveled extensively throughout the US for work, but never lived or worked overseas. Always something I had wanted to do, but think that ship may have now sailed. So you speak Spanish, French, English. Any other languages?
I think in larger families, the older siblings do have a lot of influence on the younger ones. Many are tasked to help take care of them as they become "quasi parents." I have a family of cousins with 11 children, and the older ones most certainly helped to raise the younger sibs. That was sort of the way it was with my siblings growing up. My sister is 11 years older and my brother was 8, so they were kind of like parents to me sometimes. My sister has always been controlling, but my brother was more laid back.
It is good to realized it when you young and made plans to have your own life. We are all entitled to that whether we get married, are single, or whatever life we end up with. I wish things were different with my family, but they are who they are.
And like you, I have always been on the up and up, very responsible, no addiction issues (okay, maybe shoes).
My sister and her partner both have their own health issues now, and my sister in law is an only child with an aging mother in TX and an aging aunt and uncle in CT who have no children. A lot of need to support these folks and not enough people to help. I am more than willing to offer support and advice from afar as you do with your family, I just cannot get on the plane and go save the day whenever her family is in crisis. Those people don't expect it of me, but my sisters partner is very selfish and is happy to sit back and let everyone else do her bidding. If they move back to CT, at least they will be near the aunt and uncle to help them.
Making progress on my list of to dos and heading to yoga soon. I am really into yoga right now (this will be my third class in a week!)
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EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Channing alert!!!
Your dude is on that survival show!!!!!!!
Right now
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Piper- you are too funny!
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E, how did your mother come to live with you in Canada?
Life, where is our little night owl
Guess BB did not get back online today.
Happy studying Milky.
Hi Stix and all
And for you Jazzy.....since you recently purchased a juicer. I get on my runs of juicing. Did a nice little juice feast last year, prior to a 10mile run I had signed up for. I felt great and dropped weight. I need to get back to my old disciplined self. I fell during that 10miler (at the very beginning), ran 5 miles on a bad ankle then had to bail. The last official race I did was the Turkey Trot (Nov) with my son. Prior to that I had done several other 5Ks and a 10K last year. First time ever for running in my life. Now if I can jog a mile I am lucky.
Anyhow...I haven't found a favorite green juice yet, however, I have a few of the sweeter yummy juices to share.
One is known as strawberry lemonade:
12 strawberries, one lemon peeled, 1 pear and 2 parsnips (YEP Parsnips)
Juice all ingredients. I promise this one is super tasty. I know strawberry season is ending soon. I have some blueberries to use up and my try that too.
http://naturaljuicejunkie.com/2013/09/romaine-godd...
There is a nice light green one for you. I like the Natural juice junkie.
Here is another fav of mine.....I am telling you.....it is so good you will lick the spoon, glass, blender.............
http://naturaljuicejunkie.com/2013/09/red-one-smoo...
On family....I cannot even get started.....there aren't many of us left now. My sister is giving, intelligent and I am conflicted with being grateful for her help during my surgery and even while I was raising my son to wanting to finally stand up and tell her to get help because she is so miserable and for some reason needs to have us all share in her misery. She is also a control freak...and I am the oldest only by 18mos. She can be passive-aggressive. We actually had it out while I was staying at her house during my recovery.......she accused me of all of the ways in which she was treating me, my mom, my BIL and her kids . The topper was when she threw it in my face that I did too much for myself in the hospital and took to long in the bathroom to fuss with my hair and make up. I think she was feeling guilty for having stood back while I had a very bad first night post op. And needed to turn it on me. I am not sure why she chose to do this, but to this day I have to try and block out that first night and some of her hurtful words and actions because she felt I didn't do things the way she thought they should be done. I didn't know there was a correct way to handle surgery, being a patient and what not...
It is a very conflicted, tense relationship. Generally I try to ignore her when she is in a mood, but anymore she is always in a mood.
Enough of that......
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I am really devastated over Robin Williams death.....
RIP
"Oh Captain My Captain"
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Piper- sounds like you have some similar sibling challenges like the rest of us. It is hard to balance the desire to have connection with family, especially when there are few left, with what I consider to be toxic behaviors in some of these relationships. I have had to learn with my family that they are part of my life but I am not beholden to them nor responsible for them or their happiness. I will show up for the important stuff, but I won't be put in the path of being expected to make their lives feel okay.
Your sister sounds like she is stressed out with too much on her plate. Overwhelmed people are really hard to be around because everyone's life is easier/better. I think most of us here are all very independent types and our family members are probably not, hence the conflict.
I too am very sad about Robin Williams death.
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wow I didn't heard about his death, what happened? Ok I will google it now. It's 12:57 here I go again
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ok so apparently he killed himself
This upsets me, here we are trying so hard to stay alive and he goes and just like that take his life? That is just unacceptable
Such life, talent wth?
Anyway, my sister is so upset cuz she mettle onco and he is refusing to reffer her to rad unless she agrees to do 4 more chemo. We already discussed she will not do more chemo. So now we are stuck trying to figure out who to go to in order to get a referral for her rad.
I am here staring at the ceiling just thinking 💭
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Yes, what a shame about Robin Williams. So shocking. It just goes to show how fragile life is. Celebrities seem to have it all, but then something like this happens, and we realize they don't really. Some struggle with depression, etc.
I'm up late, of course. My new schedule is to stay awake all night and then fall asleep in the afternoon. Not good. I'm overdue for my 6-month appointment with the oncologist, so of course I'm worrying about everything. My throat has been sore, so you know what I'm worrying about...
Enerva - Did the oncologist offer a different type of chemo - maybe one that would work? Or the same type, the one that didn't work? It's a shame your sister has to run around now looking for another doctor to give a reference for rads. I hope this works out quicky.
Milky, Jazz, Piper, BB, everyone - Have a good day tomorrow!
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life, the doctor is offering the same taxol chemo
which did not workYes sad 😔 about Rw , not need to lose his life but I guess he must had a reason
no one knows what anyone else feels.I wish we manage to sleep soon
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Maybe I should start drinking coffee.
So, it was the taxol that didn't work... I'm surprised the doctors didn't offer something else for her to try.
This insomnia is out of hand. I hope you're sound asleep by now and enjoying a peaceful dream!
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nop I am still awake 3:36am lol
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Awww... what a cute baby owl!
And it looks so wide awake... just like us. lolThis one is adorable, too:
And it looks like it's about to fall asleep... unlike us. lol
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Another picture:
Oh, boy, it's 4:05 a.m., and I'm awake posting pictures of owls. lol E, I hope you're asleep. I'm going to try to sleep one more time...
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Good morning ladies- sorry to see so many up all night with insomnia and worries. It happens to me a lot too, although after several weeks of not sleeping well, I am just now getting back to some uninterrupted sleep.
Very sad about Robin Williams, the many faces of depression. Suicide deaths are the worst for those that remain. Everyone feeling like they should have seen the signs, done more to help, etc. People can have the appearance of being very happy and successful while they are crumbling on the inside. It is an important reminder to treat everyone you meet with kindness. Some battles are more obvious than others.
I have an early morning professional breakfast to get to and will check in later. Wishing you all a good day.
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