Single life after a mastectomy
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hi ladies,
Happy holidays!!
I am spending the break at home alone. Bit lonely but also relaxing..
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June- I wish I were there as I would go play in the city with you!
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jazzy - oh that would be nice....
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Any laugh is good, and this is hilarious!! Thank you for making me smile today. I had my surgical drains removed this morning and I am so ready for a new day, and a new year! Happy New Year!0 -
Beach- welcome to our thread and congrats on having your drains out. I hope you enjoy being here with us. Happy New Year to you too and wishing you continued recovery from all this stuff.
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Hi Jazzygirl, Thanks for the welcome to the club! I see my Oncologist in two weeks to decide what to do next but it looks like more Chemo and Radiation. My mastectomy went well, pushing forward to exercise now the drains are gone. The weather is warm for Ohio this time of year so a walk at the park is next on the list.
Any advice for a single life during treatment? Thanks!
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Beachbum- I am sorry to hear you have to have more chemo, looks like you just finished that this fall but know all our cancers are different and treated as such. You sound very positive despite, it all. I know many days are hard, some better than others. We have all been there.
Single life during treatment is probably a bit different for each of us here, depending on whether folks have children living with them, family that lives near them, etc. For me, I was 52 when diagnosed, unmarried/no children, and family that lives far away (what little family there is). My sister got diagnosed 2 months before me so we sort of went through it together, despite having different cancers and treatment.
I think the most important advice I can give you is this- keep things simple (one day at a time), take really good care of yourself with lots of rest, healthy food (including lots of protein for healing from the surgery and all the rest), don't be afraid to say no to things you know you don't have the energy for, and don't feel you need to spend your time making others feel okay about what is happening (seems like everyone deals with this whether single or not).
I did not share my diagnosis widely with my family and friends, as I am self employed and chose to keep things private around this for professional reasons. I just let my friends know when I needed there help. They showed up time and time again, and if they could not do something, they let me know so I could ask someone else. I also hired a cleaning service to keep up with things at home.
I went to work part time on a contract about three weeks after my surgery and was working PT/remote during rads treatment. Balancing work and treatment is not an easy thing, but many do it if you are in that place. I suggest if you are on FMLA or otherwise working, ease back into the work world no a part time basis. For a number of months, all I did was work, come home to rest, ate, and slept. With time, I could do more. It takes awhile to come through this so be very patient with yourself.
I hope this is helpful and others may chime in as well. Our thread has been quiet during the holiday season, but we do have folks checking in here with their updates and advice for others.
Let us know how else we can help you?
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beachbum1023 welcome,
Ok ladies tmw I go home I am so tired I must be honest with you i had a great time but I just want to be in my own bed and home lol I am not the same young girl whom could just go and go and go I nowrealized I only ll enjoy to go to all inclusive trips lol I guess I just over did it. Cuz I worked so much that past month and then the days I could rest or relax I didn't instead I came to Denver n then to Vegas lol I only slept few hours now finally in bed I will get some rest then tmw ll travel to get home
Here a few pictures
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Enerva- I am glad you had a good time, and the pics at the Venetian are very nice! I am glad you got out of dodge for a few days, home safely, and hope you can rest today. My guess is you go back to work tomorrow too (myself as well).
Do you get New Years Day off with work? Not sure what they do in Canada for that?
And I totally can relate to not having the same energy I used to. Perhaps good to know for the future vacations. I still am figuring out my "new normal", so to speak.
Have a peaceful day.
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Melp, so glad to hear you are coming along so well.
Jazzy, how was your trip up to the hot springs?
June-I am glad you had some down time. Even if a bit lonely.
I was to work 12hours on the holiday, only worked 8hours and came home to be by myself too.
It was rather nice to be quiet (have my soup and salad) HAHAHA and just relax.
Enerva-great pics. So happy you could get away as I know your friend has been wanting to see you for so long. Did you get to meet up with your pal from the insomnia thread?
I am jealous you were able to get out to somewhere warmer too! I have never been to Las Vegas. I am not a gambler, but I hear there is so much more to do there.
BB and Life-hoping you both enjoyed your day with your boys
Beach welcome. Glad your surgery went well and YEAH for no more drains!!!!
I have several friends that live in the Cleveland metro area (Lakewood and Rocky River) and several years ago I had briefly dated a guy from the East side-Willoughby HIlls I believe....
My only advice is to take people up on their offers to help you. I know I have a hard time asking for any help. But I found some people really wanted to do certain things. Know what their strengths are. You don't want to ask someone to drive you somewhere when they hate driving. I guess I say this because my own mother had that experience. I had a friend who wanted me to come stay with him after my surgery. But...when I mentioned I would have drains and dressings he got queasy. He was expecting to give me a quiet place to respite, feed me and maybe drive me to appointments. LOL. Communication will go a long way.
I had many lunch, dinner and walking dates during my recuperation period.
As far as dating...that was definitely off my radar for the first year following my surgery. But that was my only treatment.
I know having chemo will be a different experience. I would also recommend doing what you still enjoy as you are able.
I am on a running thread and there are people walking and running through treatment.
Wishing you well during this time.
I need to do a bit of cleaning......it never ends. I was to go to the Steeler vs Bengal game but they switched the kick-off from 1pm to 830pm.
I have to work tomorrow morning and couldn't find anyone to take my shift or switch with me. Last night game I attended, I didn't get home til after 1am. I'll watch a little tonight from home.
I did go out last night with the guy from HS. He is so nice...wish I could feel more for him than I do. I lucked out that he would maintain a friendship with me. We went to a little macro brew near and had apps and a flight of beer.
My other male BFFs girlfriend is in town and they have 'demanded' I go to dinner with them this week.
(I am quite the hermit during the winter months and detest going out) Knowing this..... is why my friend made it clear I could not refuse them one dinner. At least the weather has been a bit milder here so I am inclined to take people up on a few invitations to go out. Otherwise-I will hide in my cave until spring.
OKIES fine ladies...
be back soon. take care and hope everyone is having a wonderful day
xoxoxoxoxo
Piper
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Piper- good to see your note and the hot springs were good. It was a peaceful time filled with soaking, treatments, reading, etc. I met a couple cool single people doing the same thing I was doing, including a woman who does the special effects for the Hobbit movies. She just came back from New Zealand where they were filming and editing the one that just came out, and now goes to Singapore in January for her next film (that she did not share the name of). There are always cool people up there, but especially during the Xmas holiday.
I had the BEST treatment I have ever had there which went a long way to help my very sore feet from the AIs. An hour foot reflexology treatment. She dug around in all foot joints and my feet have felt great ever since. My massage therapist does foot reflexology on me as part of my monthly massage with her, but not for an hour. I talked to her when I got back and said I may want her to focus on my feet for an hour to do reflexology for something similar. She said no problem there and good to know an hour on the feet makes a difference. Good to find something that helps. Nothing worse than feet that hurt......
I am glad you are enjoying the company of the old HS guy. I like the "demand for dinner" too. I hermit a lot too in the winter. I have had a lot of social things this month with the holidays but plan to go off the radar soon.
Are you doing anything for New Years Piper? Or anyone else here? I am doing an afternoon meditation class at one of the yoga studios, will stay home NYE and then going to play music on NY Day with my jazz friends. I saw my friend who is hosting it at jazz jam yesterday. It is always so much fun.
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Jazz your NY sounds relaxing and a fun day of planned with your music friends.
So cool you found some foot therapy that works and some cool people in your travels
I am working NYs. In the past, when I was not working the holiday, I usually do a crab cake dinner at sissys and spend most NYs midnights with my Male bff and his friends. Times have changed.
This year I work and he is going to town with his GF and HS friends.
Hopefully next year I can join in whatever festivities are planned. I like that his GF likes having me around. He and I have been friends too long and are very close. Too much so to have whomever we might be dating be jealous. We are like brother and sister. But he hates when I say that LOL!!!
All my laundry is done, my room cleaned, fresh sheets on the bed and the bathroom done too. Gosh I remember the days when I would clean the whole house (or darn near) in one day! Now it is one or 2 rooms at a time.
Hope everyone has a good evening and week.
Biting my nails....game is on and we are down 10-7
There is no reason we should lose, but anything can happen....
UGH!
Nighty dear ladies.....
xoxoxo Piper
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Enerva - Thanks for sharing the photos from your trip. Glad to hear your sister is doing well.
Piper, Milky, Jazzy - Glad you're all enjoying the holiday season with friends, family, relaxation.
Melp - Everything looks great. :-)
Beach - Welcome. :-)
June - Glad to see you back again. :-)
BB - Check in soon!
As for me, I have laryngitis right now. Otherwise, just enjoying the holidays spending time with family.
Any New Year's resolutions? I have a few resolutions beginning with getting back into shape, finding a source of income somehow, finalizing the divorce, yada, yada. Anyone else?
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Life- good to hear from you, although I am sorry about laryngitis. I hope that is better soon, and that your boys are doing well.
Did your son finish his first semester of college and how is he liking everything?
You have some very good resolutions for the new year; things that will help you on every level. Wishing you forward movement in all areas of your life in 2015.
There is a thread called Let's Post our Daily Exercise where everyone talks about their work outs and ways to find helpful hints from others. I just joined in Sept, when I began personal training at my gym. There is also a free tool on line called MapMyWalk.com where you can log your daily work outs to keep track of your work outs. It has dashboards and other metrics for you to track how you are doing as you go forward. I used it a few years ago, but have used it more seriously this year.
You go girl!
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Thanks for the recommendations for workout websites and threads, Jazzy.
My son finished his first semester at college and is home on break now. He did very well, just as I knew he would. Still, it's a relief to see that the firstborn has settled into college and is doing well. Now I have my younger sons to worry about. lol
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Life- I am glad to hear your older son is doing well. Having an older brother who is successful will help. My doctor sister was my role model as I grew up, she showed me I could do anything.
Dang, it's cold here!
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Happy New Year's Eve to you, too, Jazzy... and to everyone!
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I really think you should not be thinking of finding love right now, you should learn to love yourself first, you're much stronger than this. If Angelina Jolie can do it, so can you. Read the Bible and find out what love is.
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BB- good to hear from you, and also good to hear your holidays were great for you this year. Sorry about the computer problems tho......
Hope everyone is having a good start to the new year!
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BB- I was hoping you were okay, maybe either just laying low on the threads as many due during the holiday period, or maybe moving which I remembered you said you may be doing. But it sounds like you have some worries here.
Your symptoms are of course, something to pay attention to. I know the AIs cause all kinds of weird side effects. I have had issues with dizziness on them, certain more mental fuzziness too. Double vision is a whole other matter and that would concern me too. You may have high or low BP, blood sugar issues, med imbalances, or something else going on that is not a tumor. I do understand the mind just goes to that place though. It is terrible how long it takes to see a specialist anymore, even with where we have all been through. I hope they can help you and rule out anything more serious and help you get things straightened out. Your PCP should help you the most with medication management. When is your neuro apt?
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BB - Probably all of us have thoughts that come from that same dark place. It's natural and normal for us to worry (IMHO). I agree that the symptoms you're experiencing most likely are related to other things. Of course, it's a good idea to have everything checked into, anyway, just as you are doing.
Meanwhile, many people I know have suffered tragedy recently. I'm heartbroken for these people and their families. A month ago, a friend of mine lost her 20-something son. It happened suddenly. He'd never been sick. Then yesterday I found out that a woman - a "coworker" of sorts (long story) - who was about 40 with young children - passed away. I don't believe she and I ever exchanged more than a few pleasantries. Still I'm shocked. I had no idea she'd been fighting another type of cancer for some time.
I hope that this new year brings their families some kind of peace somehow.
Here's hoping that it brings all of us here peace and happiness, too. All we can do is enjoy each day.
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Life- I am so sorry to hear about the people you know who have suffered these terrible losses. The death of younger people is always just so shocking. I am sorry about your friends son and it sounds like it may have been from something very sudden, perhaps unknown. And also the woman at work with the cancer. And she had young children too. I suspect it will be hard for those families for awhile, and glad they have you as a caring person. Life is certainly unfair to many. Sigh.....
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good morning!!! Keep the smile, Leave the tear, Hold the laugh, And forget the fear, Because it's a happy new year. Wishing you a wonderful new year
Lol Bb, so happy you are back here I miss you. As per the hat give it to anyone you like
I also have to tell you all I have been a bit worried. During December my period came twice and also there is a weird pain inside in my left ovarie which comes and goes, not hard just very light pain. So like Bb, I panic I haven been going to the dark place and to me it's called Google lol I search what can cause periods to show up early etc. It says that stress, working too much and lack of sleep can couse the hormones estrogen to be way more invalance. After reading that I was like oh ya I have been working 7 days a week and stressed about my sister and work so that must be it. But I must admit it hasnot easy my mind. I feel the little pain sometimes so I am going to make an appointment with my family doctor just to rule out any ovarian tumor or uterus problems. I am worried and hate it. I try not to think about bc but now any little symptoms I can't help it. I worry
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Enerva- happy New Year to you!
I am sorry to hear about your issues with your period. Usually women stop getting periods after chemo, correct?
Around age 47, I started having two periods a month. As you approach regular menopause, sometimes that is not uncommon to get double periods or non at all. You start skipping periods or you ovulate twice in a month and get two periods as a result. I told my PCP during my annual visit and she sent me to a gyn who did laproscopic surgery. I had some fibroids, they are not uncommon in women. Most of the time they don't require any treatment unless they get too large. They can create pain too.
Anyways, it is good to get this checked out, but hear the fear in your writing. Every time something does not feel right, I always think "is that cancer?" You are working a lot too, so be sure to take care of yourself with good rest and food. Are you able to exercise with your busy schedule?
I am heading into follow up month here in January. A trip to the MO's office first thing tomorrow, will have blood work including liver enzymes done and also meet with the CNP (I think I told you my MO is out on medical leave right now) to discuss the latest bone density test. I am going to try to find out tomorrow too if they know if he is coming back too, or if I will be assigned a new MO for the longer term. I have my bilateral mammo & ultrasound on 1/23 and visit to the BS on 1/30. I feel like I am always holding my breath as I go each follow up.
I finish my current contract end of this coming week, then am working on finishing my home reno in Jan. I am talking to some folks about new work for the new year, but also want to get past the follow ups before I commit to anything.
Heading out for the day and wishing you all a good Sunday and keep the faith in the new year. Glad we have each other here on this thread.
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Enerva - I agree with Jazzy that bleeding twice a month is very common.
I do have to say that there could be another explanation - something that is completely benign, like a cyst. Please don't worry. That's what happened to me, and everything turned out all right:
Not long before BC diagnosis, I started having irregular bleeding. When I was given a PET scan for the BC, the doctors discovered a BENIGN cyst on one of my ovaries. It was small and could've been removed laparoscopically right away. It's very common.
In my case, however, because I had to wait for chemo treatments to end first, I couldn't have it removed right away. Months later, as soon as chemo ended, to make a long story short, it turned out that this benign cyst had ballooned in size. This was a freak occurrence, something very rare that wasn't expected to happen. So, I don't want to worry you. But, instead of laparoscopic surgery, I ended up having to have major abdominal surgery. Everything turned out well. Again, the cyst was completely benign.
But, anyway, it's good that you're making an appointment with the doctor soon. Most likely, you'll find out that there's nothing at all, just plain old irregular bleeding that most women get. Let us know how the appointment goes.
Good luck with your appointments, too, Jazzy.
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oh thank you both for this info, I did read that it's most likely to be caused by the iregular estrogen been up and done. I had no periods during chemo then it came back for a good year then stop for 6, I was told if it didn't come back within a year then it was menopause but it came back last July now twice in December so I ll make an appointment just to make sure all ok
It helps to know that you had the issue before and all is ok
I am on the train and it's delayed ;( 7:13 am I am supposed to be in my desk by 7:30 ll never make it
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Hi ladies- went to the MO visit today for my check up. My first time there in a year and the CNP who saw me today said "you have not been here in a year?" I told her the MO (who was out on medical leave, but I hear is going to be going back eventully) told me to do a bone density test in Dec and come this January. She said that is not the normal protocol, it is usually every six months for the first five years, and I said knew that but do not know why I was not asked to come back last summer in between. Well, she said " well, we need to get you back on every six months so I will go again this summer." Trust me, this is not the first time I have been shortcutted on what I am supposed to have, but we all have our own horror stories here, don't we?
We discussed the bone density test and what to do at length about the worsening numbers. She said she is going to find out if they can get my insurance to pay for Prolia shots now vs. waiting for things to get worse. She said they have had some good success with this and you get two shots a year and that it may be able to help me the duration of my remaining three years on the meds. I told her my mother had osteoporosis in her 70s and 80s and don't want to be the girl with the snapping bones/broken hip. She said I have the genetics working against me on this too. So we will see what they say and then go from there.
I had lab work done too but since they just moved, the lab was not set up so they will call if there are any areas of concern.
Even though I was hesitant to see her vs. the MO this time, I do feel I got some different attention around a few things (including my follow up schedule). CNPs have been a life saver to me in the past, and I liked this gal. One down, two more to go......
My next follow apts are later in the month for mammo/ultrasound and then to see the BS. I won't be surprised if I end up with an MRI this time either (we have been talking about maybe doing one again eventually due to the scar tissue). I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
Enerva- do keep us posted and let us know what you find out when you see your doc about the bleeding issue?
I hope everyone else has a good day. My luncheon apt was rescheduled so I am heading in to work now. Have a good day my single friends. Keep the faith.
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I had a hysterectomy last September because I had the worse periods ever. I'd bled to the point of needing a transfusion. It was fibroids. I went for months trying to forgo another surgery. I was given the Lupron shot but that was supposed to be every 3 months and was expensive. I eventually bit the bullet and had them take the uterus.
I kept my ovaries against my oncologist wishes. But removing the ovaries increases your risks of heart disease greatly and both my parents died that way. And a grand parent on each side died of heart issues so I kept them, which is weird because I still go through PMS. My face breaks out in acne & I get all sappy. But thank God no period.
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sofness 1 thank you and welcome, I don't remember seen you here before I really appreciate all the info regarding ovarian pain and periods I in the contrary was one lucky lady I got my first period at 13 so very late compared to my friends but I felt nothing no pain ever I could run, jump exercise whatever I felt like I was able to. Periods came every 29 days right on the date never at 21 or 28, never late or early till chemo then after my second chemo it went away. Now this past month twice and a weird pain in the left side which was not huge but yet new and scared me, I have to admit it scared me. I called my family doctor and the early I can see her is Friday so I ll write down the dates for her and ask her on Friday to do my cytology or whatever ever the name for the test woman are to get. It's been almost 3 years since my last one. I am concerned about the fact that no scan, no test is been done on me , I look good so they feel until I feel sick there is no need but it scares me. Anyway for my own piece of mine I ll ask her for an ultrasound just to look at my ovaries. Cuz I can't go on with my brain thinking there could be something wrong..
Thanks jazz, mom had osteoporosis too, n here in Canada nodoctor has ever told me how to prevent it
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