A place to talk death and dying issues
Comments
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Calico- Yes the great truth of Buddhism and the salvation of it, is the observation that everything is in flux -all things change. Our attachment to keeping things the same causes suffering. Embrace change and roll with it. Our culture does not endorse this paradigm.
Relationships change, bodies change, cancer changes, seasons, clouds, weather... endless flux. Much of it is wonderful, changing from infant to adult, learning a skill, mastery of those skills, learning, experiences, growing old. Change is life and hope. If we did not die, then there would be no hope of getting out of Cancerland.
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Wow! "If we did not die, then there would be no hope of getting out of Cancerland." What a philosophical question to ponder for Stage IV.
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I agree, Cling! Rosevalley, what you said makes the ride on this hellacious cruise ship a lot more tenable!
And yet . . . . . . . When do I pull the plug and say, "No more chemo:? Blondie, I remember your saying not to sweat it, that one would know when it was time. It's ultimately a completely personal decision. When I think about it, the onc said he'd give Halaven the "old college try" with the inference being he'd quit after that if he were in my shoes. So unless his story dramatically changes, I guess I've gotten my answer.
I'm getting quite a bit of psychic income giving things away to friends and family. That's one nice thing.
How's that for making lemonade out of lemons?
xoxoxoxooxoxox
Calico
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Yep u will know n i didnt even finish the rounds, think i di 3 that was all i could take. The was july 20th. How do i feel....ok. remember i have oxygen 24 7 the pain in my neck n back hurts when i stand, i think the pain around the port is just th we t, the port, i also have a mass on my chest wall on the right that hurts aer lso. Apparently it has spread from my right shoulder to my left c we use it hurts back there. Other than that nothing. Lungs dont hurt neither does anything else. Am nauseous alot tho.
Jusy in case u ayll were interested
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(((((Hugs))))) Blondie. I wish I could make it easier on you. Lots of love your way. Hope you have a pain patch and you got hospice in there.
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Thank you so much, (((((Blondie))))) and more hugs coming to you from the southern end of the Pacific coast. Sending lots of prayers up for you to be at peace and pain free.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Calico
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hey Blondie. I care about you. Just at a loss if words wishing I Gould pack you up to come hang with me. We could keep each other company. So furious you don't have more help. I care about you. Hugs.
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Thanks everybody feel like i am being a pita, enough...
Patty how do u feel
Rosie how r the kids
Calico..whatcha doing today?
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feel like warmed up death. Ummm ok best foot forward. I feel myself breathing in and out in my own and for now I am taking that as a blessing. Could be worse right. ? Thinking of you. What are you doing up ? Having a pitty
t party like me ?
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Blondie - gentle hugs coming your way
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hips you are sleeping well Blondie
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Hey, Blondie, my housekeeper comes today, and she's more like a good friend and family member. Tough mountain gal about my age (61). She's great for house sitting, too, not that we go anywhere these days. And then I'll keep going through books to give to the library.
Now, yesterday was fun. Three friends came over and we played a game called Tripoli. We talk and laugh more than play, but that's the whole point! It's pretty easy to make friends in the little town I live in since we're mostly retired, and don't have families close by. Great bunch of gals.
This is my week off from Halaven, so that's always a good week!
xoxoxooox
Calico
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CalicoCat, when I was young, around 10 or 12, I and my siblings and neighbor kids used to play Tripoli. We had a roll out mat and all the chips in one of those round things that spun around, and cards.....we spent hours in the summer playing it. I have no idea now how to play, but your post brought back a fun memory
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Hey, that's cool, Divine! I remember a backgammon craze. I think that was in the '70s. I spent hours doing that with one friend in particular, and then, "poof", nobody played backgammon anymore. The other game that's big up here is Mexican Train Dominoes.
xoxoxoxoxox
Calico
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Calico not 4 nothing else it seems buy all u have listed that u have been through alot, is it that bad, eorse or just looks bad, i am srrious, curious, cause it looks like alot.
HAPPY THURSDAY
Hey patty will call u i promise, i i can get this sleeping crap under contro.
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CalicoCat, I lived in California for a year in the late 70s and it was there that I learned to play backgammon, I remember it was all the rage, spent many hours playing it.
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sounds great Blondie. I am a shirt talker so I won't keep you long. Sleep is a good thing when everything else is hurting for sure. Rest relax. I'll be here whenever.
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Hi Everyone : I don't know how much longer I will live, so I've decided to throw myself a Celebration Of Life Party May 1st. My daughter suggested since my birthday is April 28th to call it a Birthday /Celebration Of Life Party. So, It's all paid for from the caterer to the dresses, red carpet, fog machine venue, DJ and everything in between. I'm getting more excited as the date gets closer . I've shared to some that this is my Repast or Memorial, because there won't be one after I'm gone. and I won't hear a word they're saying anyway. I've got to finish my 5 wishes to include no Repast or Memorial in it. I've told my husband but I've got to put it in writing. No funeral, just a viewing at the funeral home.
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msal02- What a great idea! Hope the party is exactly what it is supposed to be- "Celebration of Your Life!" Enjoy every moment. Did anyone give you grief about it, or were they pleasantly surprised? I am surprised more folks don't do that. Well Mat 1st is soon! Happy Birthday little early.
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Mscal, I think it's TERRIFIC that you are just going for it!!! You must give us a full report, with pictures, if possible!!!
Have a happy!
xoxoxoxoxox
Calico
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Hi, Blondie! I'm not sure if I've been through a lot or not as compared to others. When I entered my treatment history here, I decided to keep it updated since I figured I should have that somewhere, so this is where I do that.
I was on Abraxane, and it was a week before Christmas, when I told my onc I wanted to "explore" stopping treatment with him. I was just really exhausted and the neuropathy in my hands and feet was getting so bad. So he said to take a chemo holiday and talk to him after the first of the year, which I diid. By then, I was feeling better, and more inclined to take another run at it.
Well, the next chemo we tried was Doxil and it was a complete bust - 2 treatments and my hands and feet were a bigger mess, and still are, even though I've been off it quite a while. And my liver progressed on it anyway, so it did way more harm than good.
After 2 Halaven, all I know is the numbness in my left arm and hand is terrible, as in I'm having motor control problems, but this may be being caused by a compression in my neck. i don't know how the onc and I are going to sort that out.
So right now, it looks like I should have stopped after the Abraxane, but that's hindsight for you.
Sorry I went on so long!
xoxoxooxoxox
Calico
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Hi; Nobody has given me any grief. I told them I want to get my roses while I'm Alive ! Everyone is so excited ! I'm going to be Fashionably late and come in dancing to Happy by Pherrell My daughters and some of their friends are going to do a dance to Up Town Funk ! I will surely post pictures. Thanks for the Birthday wishes.
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What a great idea, please post the pix
Calico, i am so sorry, when is u r appt with dr, how r u emotionally.
I will say that when i went off chemo i thought my qol would improve n it did in that i wasn't sick from chemo anymore, but i forgot about the oxygen n the lung thing, which has not improved. So would i do it again yep i would but my expectations would b different
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mscal - I hope that you have the best party ever! What a beautiful thing for you and your family and friends. I hope to find my peace and joy and be as graceful as you some day. And have some "Happy" fun, lots of laughs, and fill my heart with enough love to get me through to eternity. Take Care! Cheryl
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Macao. Have the best party ever. Live in the moment. Don't let that night be about past or future. Just the fun if now !!!
Calico. Do to know what to say but hear to listen.
Blondie. You are one tough woman. Keeping in keeping in. You go. Proud if you. Wish u could hold your hand across the miles. Everybody needs support.
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Thanks patty the feeling is mutual
Hugs
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Mr. Honey says, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!"
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Calico
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MSCAL02, I had a 50th birthday party/celebration of life in November. It was the best party ever. Lots of old friends showed. It was my living wake, that is for darn sure!
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Fitztwins: I'm glad your party was a blast ! I can hardly wait for my day to get here. We were at my daughters yesterday practicing for our line dance off Up Town Funk. There's going to be about 15 of us. I think they are more excited than I am .0
