A place to talk death and dying issues
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SORRY adjective, from Old English
Meaning- wretched, tragic, deplorable, regrettable, feeling apologetic, sympathy with ones misfortune, "sorry state of affairs," "I am so sorry."
I really HATE the word "SORRY." It's a pathetic empty platitude of drivel... bull shit. It just makes me swell up with disgust... I know when one nurses anger the first to be burned is the person who's angry, but being human and prone to weakness, I still HATE the word SORRY!
Ok that's all I have to vent for today. I will now go out to enjoy the sun and warmth and flowers. Be well fellow travelers on this wretched path.
(((((hugs)))))))
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Hey, Rosevalley, I'm sorry you feel that way (JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!)
The word I have a problem with is ACCEPT. Twenty years ago when I developed chronic pain in both arms to the point I couldn't work anymore, some brilliant person told me I needed to ACCEPT it, and I thought, "Up your pitooty!". I have since printed out the definition from the on-line Merriam-Webster dictionary to find that the FIRST definition of ACCEPT is "to receive willingly." YEAH! RIGHT! PAIN, I LOVE IT!! Now, if you go down to definition 3.c.you will find, "to recognize as true." Ahhhhh, let go of denial, yes? That I can understand. That might be useful.
Speaking of acceptance, I saw my onc today and he wants me to get a brain MRI. Looking for all reasons I might be losing feeling, strength, dexterity in my left arm/hand. It's even getting difficult to type. I tell 'ya, I have rotten arm karma.
But the good news is I had a hamburger and vanilla shake today along with my Aredia and Halaven, so it wasn't a total loss. Oh, and I get next week off, except for the brain MRI.
xoxoxoxoox
Calico
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Calico- Well I am glad you had a meal that tasted good and the chemo went down ok. I guess I just have had "sorry" thrown in my face one too many times this week. I hear it and cringe right to my bone marrow. For you it is accept. I guess we all have our triggers. I hope your MRI goes uneventfully and it's nothing.
I am feeling very defeated today. Tired and disgusted and peeved. It was a gorgeous sunny 78 degree day too - stupid to be angry. The double tulips I planted came out and look like purple peonies, just lovely. Then our little resident mole or vole ate an entire broccoli plant in one of our raised beds! Little bugger.. if we lose another I will dig the plants up, lay chicken wire down under the roots, put the dirt back and replant! Ha...that'll fix that. Go eat dandilions there are enough of them!
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Hey, Rosevalley! You've got moles/voles and we have gophers, not to mention the deer!
Speaking of wire defenses, I finally got a garden growing by laying gopher wire over the entire area ON TOP OF the ground, then cutting holes the size of gopher baskets into the wire, digging the dirt up, inserting gopher baskets, wiring the gopher baskets into the gopher wire, and planting the plant in the gopher basket. Very few gophers have been able to break through those defenses!
Of course, that does nothing about the deer, but I only planted "deer resistant" plants, and that's worked pretty well.
But one of those buggers attacked your raised beds???? The nerve!!!
And what the heck was up with my 60 or so daffodil bulbs that do absolutely nothing????? Supposedly, gophers don't eat the bulbs. I see daffodils growing in places they are clearly ignored. Yes, it's the pits!
By the way, the insignia on my family's crest is a mole under an oak tree, with the motto, "Onward industriously ever moving forward!" Those Dutch are weird!
xoxoxoood and seeing great miracles happening in your garden!
Calico
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Okay we are venting
Sabel. I let you have it on the Angel's thread,,,,,,,,,,,,,Can say I've never let someone have it in such a graphic way. Can't believe you want to negate those who have passed. Since you have so sporadically posted over 3 years, why did you write such a stupid comment.
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/56/topic/694012?page=28#idx_828
6 hours ago Sabel wrote:
That list was so depressing, Celia. It went on forever and ever ad nauseum.
Instead of those who sadly passed away, let's concentrate on those who are still standing. We're a little battered and bruised but that trumps giving up by so much more..
I realize that so many of our former posters had no real choice; the cancer took over. Very very sad, I know.
Let's move on and not look back.
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33 minutes ago , edited 20 minutes ago by sas-schatzi
Sabel, your new to BCO maybe not in time, but in posts. You just blew your entry elsewhere. This is a sacred thread. KayB was being kind as she always is, but sometimes kindness isn't what's needed. I suggest you lurk long before you drop in on another thread and offer your insight on how it should be done. You just pissed allot of people off to an extreme that you will hopefully not experience in your life, but perhaps may b/c you are here.
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Sabel, Did you know ma111's on that thread? Do you know you are on ma's thread? Did you know ma? I did. You have written the most offensive thing on BCO that I have ever seen. Suggest you somehow eat your words and make apologies. This is going to be big by tomorrow.
Ma stood in defense to talk of death and dying without interference of placating words. Your words what did they say 'That list was so depressing, Celia. It went on forever and ever ad nauseum." Ma would take you out at the knees.
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I can see sabel being honest with her feelings right there in the moment she said it. It apparrently may have touched a nerve for her. Because this is also a thread having to do with death. Maybe she didnt grasp the intent of the other. i am willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, and forgive and forget allready... I would experience true horror, if there WAS a big deal made out of it, and it drove a woman away from bco. I don't know her, but i know some of the other wonderful women here, and sabel doesn't seem to be a monster.
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Agreed tom
I am so tired of being disgusted, lol
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I love you, blondie.
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Tomboy - I agree - certainly don't think it should have been dragged over to this thread - we've got enough "stuff" going on.
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Interesting sandy, no sense of outrage?0 -
I'm just going to say that I keep up with this thread, and even tho it is 60 pages long, from time to time, I go to the top and re-read ma's original post. I get the biggest kick out of it. In just a few well written words, she set the tone for us to be able to bring up our thoughts and concerns without being judged.
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I think I understand your aggravation over "I'm sorry," Rosevalley. I notice that I don't really know what to say when they say that. Either I say "yeah, me too" or I say "ah, it's nothing." Yeah, I just really don't know what to do with that. LOL
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Could someone post a list of end-of-life documents? (I'm being lazy and not going back to find out for myself, unless you make me.) It's time for me to work on some of them, especially medical directives.
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Dune, I would be interested in them too. I probably have some done already but I'm sure there's a lot I should do to tie things up.
JJ
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Hi guys Dune and JJ- you know the gal who posted the best coverage on that was Bon. I believe it's back quite a few pages, but she hit on everything you could think of and then some! A very thorough woman when she attacks a subject. We just did our lawyer thing and think have it all done.
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Thank you Rosevalley.
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Pg 250 -
Ditto tom
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Sassy nailed it- JJ and Dune go to page 25 and read down Bon's impressive list. She covers everything and things you never even thought of!
Thanks. I always feel badly when I see Spamgirls posts and Chickadees.. miss them. night all.
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Yes, thanks, I copy and pasted it. It was a bit too much to take in last night. I'm sure it will help though.
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Thanks so much for that info! Hate that I need to do this stuff but once it's done it will be good.
JJ
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OOhh the implications are many... how are we supposed to sleep NOW????
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lol . . . . . . Sleep well, Rosevalley . . . . . . . . . . . . (evil laugh)
xoxxxoxoxoxoxoxo!!!
Calico
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I didn't read page 25, but we have a thorough land trust, power of attorney , and a will. It covers ever scenario that might happen. Took about a year. We kept calling the attorney back and thinking of more things to add. She was great about it and said we actually did it in a timely fashion. It's hard for people. Great feeling when it was done
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Hey Susan, Bon put together a compilation of much from the first 24 pages. She intended to do it again when it got to be around 50. She didn't feel well enough to do it.
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Calico that's evil posting something like that late at night!
Those of us with brains that tend to idle high... despite meditation and effort will mull things like that over... what if ? My own fault!My Siamese cat Emmy is being mocked and tortured by the new bird feeder my DH put outside our huge (105 inch wide) bedroom window. The tulip tree is right outside, so the chickadees and little nuthatches zoom out of the branches grab a seed and fly out.. poor cat is having a fit.. chitters, spazzes, dips and hides behind the pillows (bed is in front of the window)... wiggles her butt.. She's plum tuckered out! The birds won this one for sure! I have been very amused by her antics. Which is good because it hasn't been a feeling good kind of day.
Be well! ((((hugs)))))
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I'm glad you had some entertainment Rosevalley but sorry it was otherwise worse than it could have been.
One of my worries with the paperwork is my birds, especially Dusty. The vet said I need to find someone to take him and leave him and money to take care of him in my will. Unfortunately, I don't really know anyone who what a great bird Dusty is.
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Thank you, Rosevalley, for that priceless description of your Siamese cat! Siamese are such characters. And your yard sounds like a tropical forest. And what a glorious view! I found that maleficent post above because I was cleaning out files, and it leaped out of the folder and begged to be posted here, knowing it would reach an appreciative audience!
Golly, Dunesleeper, I don't guess there's some kind of a bird sanctuary you could entrust your bird to? Prayers and thoughts "flying" your way (sorry, really, no pun intended) for a happy resolution to your baby bird's care.
I started out the day with my first dilemma. Needed to order contacts. Four months or six months? Don't want to waste money if I won't be around to use them. I hate that every tiny decision seems to turn on how our luck might run with the particular chemo we're on at the moment. THIS SUCKS!!!!
I started to recover from that when I got a call from the funeral home we've made my mother's pre-arrangements with, telling me that my mother was likely to go into hospice, and was I sure all the sibs would sign off on her cremation? Sheesh!!! I'm in CA and Mom's in Texas, so I am usually late to news from the grapevine, but didn't quite expect to get it that way!
And I think I'm coming down with "something". Had my 4th Halaven on Monday. Naturally, I can't just think, "Hell, I'm getting a cold," but launch spread-eagle into, "Oh, please, don't let it be neutropenia!"
Sorry to be such a beam of sunshine today!
xoxoxoxoxoxoox
Calico
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