Mastectomy Sept 2011
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Checking in and hope everyone is doing well.
Today was my first day back to work and while I am tired, returning to my sense of normalcy was so overwhelmingly therapeutic. I used to joke that a trained monkey could do my job however was absolutely floored by the reception from my coworkers.Truly am blessed and wish each of you just as many blessings.
Still am sore from exchange surgery but am 4 days out and seeing light at the end of the tunnel. The foobs no longer look & feel like bricks and actually resemble the pre-cancer ones. While I realize I am making leaps & bounds medically in this process, I feel I have made the most progress in my emotional recovery.
Thanksgiving will be extra special for me this year and I wish everyone a safe & Happy Thanksgiving. I hope everyone is doing well with their recovery making similar leaps & bounds.
Gentle hugs to all....
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Hi ladies - checking in before my laptop battery dies . . . been burning up the credit card, doing some on-line shopping for my girl for Christmas. The thought of the mall after this weekend is unpleasant under normal circumstances, and in my "weakend condition," it's just out of the question!
Linda, I'm glad your infection cleared, but sorry that you're still having that horrible arm pain. Working out just might help - and yes, go in a bathroom stall if it'll be more comfortable - whatever you have to do to overcome that inertia! Great that you did the painting - getting back to pleasures like that makes us feel "normal" again.
Olga - yeah, so gaining weight is not ideal, but it's a fact of life for many women getting chemo. You're on a lot of drugs, you don't have much energy, your appetite is all messed up - there is not a lot you can do . . . so like others have said, do the best you can and go easy on yourself. I think it's very hard for these docs to understand what treatment is like, as most of them have never done it themselves! I'm sorry this has been such a tough road, but you're getting through it - just one foot in front of the other . . . hugs to you.
I had a great weekend, but overdid it. I know that will come as a huge surprise to you all! : ) It was just so nice to feel more like myself - I did a bunch of cooking, including making a huge pot of soup and taking some over to one of my best friends who was SO supportive of me/us post-op - her back is out and she is awaiting a discectomy on 12/6 - two young kids and basically in bed all day on lots of drugs . . . felt good to be doing something for someone else for a change!
Hope you're all off to a good start this Thanksgiving week.
Sarah
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Oh, Caryn! My prayers and hugs to you. I wish I could offer more. I do have a friend who has had bone mets for 4+ years and is one of the perkiest, upbeat people I know. Down the line if you ever want to reach out, feel free to contact me and I'll put you in touch with her.
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Oh Caryn! I just saw your post once I entered mine. I am so sorry. There are no words to say that will make things better but want you to know that my heart goes out to you and I will happily stand beside you in times of need. While I know right now you must be going thru a host of emotions, keep in mind that there are many women on this board who are stage 4 and stable. Praying for the best medical treatment to get you to that point as well. (((HUGS)))
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Caryn, oh, my heart is aching for you. I just want you to know that we care about you here. Feel free to share whatever emotions you need to to help you process this shocking news. We'll be here for you!
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Caryn! I am weeping for you - and all that you have been through - and for this news. Praying for you - and your strength and comfort which you need right now - know that all of us here are thinking of you tonight - and sending you caring and loving thoughts.
I cannot imagine how you feel right now - after everything already - but come here and yell and cry and we will do our best to help you through this!!!
Tina
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Caryn, I echo what everyone else has said. You have been through so much, and you have been so brave. I wish I had one of those magic wands to break this awful BC spell for you. My prayers are with you tonight, that you may be filled with lovingkindness, that you may be free from fear, and that you may be at peace. We are all sending love and support your way. Wish I could help more.
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Caryn - Of course you're in shock! You WILL process this and you WILL come up with a plan to take control of this and kick it. I will keep you in my prayers. Please reach out to us whenever you want. When I was going into surgery, a nurse told me to tell my loved ones to picture me warmly wrapped in a blanket while they sent me healing thoughts. She said it would benefit me and them. I'm now visualizing you and sending healing thoughts. Sending hugs too...
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Oh, Caryn, I have no words. Lump in my throat, pit in my stomach. Sigh. It is SO NOT FAIR that now you have this, on top of everything you've done already. You've been so patient, so "good." Know that I'm keeping you in my heart as you figure out this new treatment plan and process this new news. Giant hugs to you.
Sarah
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Crayn -- On my gosh you have been through so much. We are all here for you. I am sending a ton of prayers and healing thoughts your way. Close your eye and feel all of us here giving you a huge hug.
odie -- Glad to hear going back to work was good. How are the new floobs doing? I have an apporintment with my PS this morning. It will be my last fill and we discuss and schedule my exchange. I cant wait to have these TEs out.
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Dear Caryn,
I am so sorry for that news... I will keep praying for you and ask my priest to pray for you too. I also have a Jewish dear friend in Boston, she attends Synagogue, so I ask her to pray for you too.. Just don't lose faith and hope! Everything will be fine! They will treat it!!
love ang hugs, Olga
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Caryn... I can't really express the sadness I feel right now. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. They will come up with a good treatment plan for you. Sending love and support to you
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Oh Caryn- I am so sorry....I can't believe that because of the horrid chest tube a spot was found on your hip. I wish there was something I could do or say that will ease what you are feeling right now. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
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MargieC - I can't tell you how happy I am with the new foobs. Still alittle sore but am extremely pleased with how they are looking. They almost look just like my pre-cancer boobs complete with tiny biopsy scar but are a touch bigger right now due to swelling. I see the PS in the morning to get at least one of my two drains out (hoping for both)... I can tell you that they feel much better than the TE's as they are definitely softer and feel more natural than the bricks! Keep me posted on your exchange date so we can count you down and cheer you on.
Hugs to all with thoughts & extra hugs for Caryn...
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Caryn -
I told two women from my church about you today - was just weighing on me to have more people praying for you - so they are ... Thinking of you all day - hoping you are doing okay.
Tina
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Thank you all for your prayers and positive thoughts. Had my meeting with RO today. I really clicked with him. Went over everything regarding rads and they even did my simulation. Spent about 2 1/2 hours there. The plan is to start this coming Monday and do 15 treatments, Mon-Fri, for 3 weeks. I started Arimidex last night, too soon to feel any SE's. I will also be going back to Stanford for a second opinion and will probably switch my MO within the Kaiser system. My current MO is the head of the department and very knowledgeable, but I have never clicked with him, emotionally, and that is important to me. Overall, I am feeling much better today. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving. There really is much to be thankful for. Caryn
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Odie, so happy for you... Unfortunally , because of my chemo and low blood cells I won't get my exchange till March, probably... Did you get drains again? noooo... it was my worst experience and taking them out was the worst pain, I almost passed out.After every expending it gets verv red and swollen, and after chemo steroids it is getting red whole chest area and face.uuugh...I will see my PS for expending 2 more times, and it seems that nothing to expend left anymore...I had some leaking last time, not much,so...
Diana, how are you doing? How many chemo sycles did you have? I did 4, and waiting for SE, which should strart tomorrow. It will be only my hubby and me, and 11 pounds turkey...and puppies...
Happy thanksgiving, my dear friends! We are gonna make it!
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Odie - so happy you are doing so well after your exchange surgery!
Caryn - so good to hear from you again. I'm so glad for you that you click with your RO and that you are going to try a new MO for the same reason - it really does make a difference. It's hard to trust your doc if you don't click with them - at least it is for me. So glad you are feeling better and yes, there is so much to be thankful for.
Olgah - sure do hope your future expands go better - it sure doesn't sound very comfortable. :-(
I am 1 wk post L areola removal, healing well. Saw the BS a few days ago - no DCIS was found in the tissue removed, but we had to do it just in case. I now have a several inch scar across the foob, so it's not nearly as "pretty". Although that's been a bit of an emotional adjustment, it's really fine - keeping it in perspective. I now have to meet with the RO again in a few weeks to further discuss possible rads, and also am still working on getting my 2nd opinion set up with another RO as well.
We are traveling to MO to see DH's family for Thanksgiving. It's a long drive ~ 12 hours - will do it over 2 days. Ugggh! Much cheaper than flying over the holiday time, though. Wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!
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Odie -- I didn't get my last fill yesterday. I have a little red spot on my left incision and it turned out to be an area where a couple of the dis-solvable stitches worked their way to the surface. He cut them out and said he wanted to wait to do the final fill next week. Unfortunately I am travel Mon-Wed for work so my fill will not be till Fri Dec 2. I thought had my mind made up on size and now I am back and forth again. PS is looking at high and extra high projection and I can not decided between the two. UGH If I can make up my mind and the last fill goes ok next Fri my surgery will hopefully be first week of Jan.
I hope everyone has a fanstastic Thanksgiving.
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Hello ladies..
First off, Caryn, you have the best attitiude and it will make a difference. I totally agree that clicking with your doctors is so important as this is your medical team and you need to be able to trust in their care. Glad you are finding some peace with things and will continue to pray for you.
Olgah - Unfortunately for the exchange surgery, my PS does put in two drains however maybe I am just adjusting to them now but they aren't as bad as last time. Was hoping to have them out for the holiday but it is not to be. Hope any chemo side effects are minimal for you and that you have a wonderful holiday with the hubby & puppies.
DT -Glad you are doing well one week out & had good path results. Safe travels!!!
MargieC - Sorry you weren't able to get the final fill yesterday. Better a small delay to let the spot heal well so as no to major disruption of the progress train, eyes on the prize...lol ... As for size, I was also conflicted prior to my exchange. The TE's looked small to me and not at all what I had hoped for. Luckily my PS knew I wanted to stay pretty much where I was so I had faith it would work out. That said, I have high profile implants and they look entirely different from the TE's. Sizewise they are exactly right (C/D size) and aren't nearly as round or hamburger bun "ish". They really do look natural. All in all, I am very pleased with the results to date.
I was supposed to see the PS this morning for post-op and expected drain removal however that appt was cancelled due to an unexpected emergency for my PS. Little bummed as I really wanted to get rid of the drains prior to the holiday however will get over it. Minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of things and we will try again Monday. Am very thankful for a lot of reasons this year and wish everyone a wonderful holiday. As Caryn said, we have a lot to be thankful for.
Happy Thanksgiving to you all and your families. For those traveling, be safe. God bless us all. HUGS!!!! !
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I want to wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving.... I am thankful that I have all of you to lean on
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Hi friends - catching up on all your news - sounds like everyone's doing well and hanging in - which is great!
Caryn - your plan is taking shape - so glad for that . . . worst thing is to get "news" and then be left for a week wondering what the heck it's going to mean treatment-wise. Now you can focus on keeping this spot at bay. There are folks over here in Mass. praying for you, too . . . that little bugger better watch itself. And good to change your MO - I chose my MO based on reputation, but also on personality fit - and a decade later I can say that I still love him. I mean really, I love him. I wish you the same happiness with whomever you end up with - s/he is one of the most important people on your team and it's SO awesome to have a bond.
Odie - boo for drains, round II, but yay for natural looking (not hamburger-bun-ish) foobs! Gotta love it. Maybe Monday will be your day? Or will PS be in on Friday? A girl can dream.
Margie - sorry no fill for you this week - I have 2 spots on lefty where stitches are coming up thru the scar - feel like whiskers. Better to let sleeping dogs lie and wait - a conservative approach, but goodness knows, you don't want a complication - things have gone well, so far!
DT - I know, a new scar + no aerola must be tough to get used to, but you know you will, and I'm very excited there was nothing there - just better to know, and unfortunately no other way to do it. I hope you have a safe trip and that it doesn't tire you out too much!
We're headed to DH's sister's tomorrow for dinner - only about 30 minutes away so it's going to be a relaxing weekend for us. I usually host, so I'm sad to not do it this year, but it wipes me out under normal circumstances, so this year I took a pass. DD was bummed to realize this a.m. that I would not be making my usual 3 pies!? I told her we could whip up an apple sometime this weekend, just for us, and eat it for breakfast, too. So there, breast cancer!
I hope you all have a really, really wonderful day tomorrow. I am thankful for so many things this year, but want to let you all know how instrumental each of you has been in my getting through this surgery with my sanity intact. There've been highs and there've been lows, but it's always comforting to know we're all here, checking in on, and supporting each other.
xo,
Sarah
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Hi everyone..
Wanted to wish you all a happy thanksgiving. I may not post very often but I do keep up with your posts and am very grateful you are here..
Olgah... I have finished my 3rd treatment and will have no. 4 next week. I have been managing ok but when it hits me, I am down for a few days then I start to feel better. After AC I start taxol portion and hope it's easy on me.0 -
Wanted to add that I do consider you ladies and this forum one of the blessings I am thankful for as the love & support has been immeasurable. Love you all.
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
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Happy Thanksgiving everyone - so incredibly thankful for the support I've received from you all. Gearing up for a day with the inlaws - tons of munchkins going to be running around here - thankful for the craziness! LOL Hope you all have a wonderful day.
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Hello all. Hope everyone had a great holiday with plenty of food, family or friends.
Here we are on to another week. I will hopefully get my drains out tomorrow which isn't a moment too soon since the antibiotic is causing horrible bilateral knee pain.
Wishing everyone luck with treatment or fills this week.
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Ladies, I just came from PS in tears...My Te is not good quality, it has been leaking inside, so they want to do another operation and exchange it for another one and then start all over again fills on the left...
My exchange would be in June, probably...My blood is no good now, I still have 2 more chemo to go, so first operation will be probabably in February, while on Herceptin...
Who is responsible for inserting me bad TE?
how could it happen?
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Olga, I am so sorry to hear this. I know you have been through so much already. I suppose, like any manufactured item, there could be defective TE's. Do you have faith in your ps? Would you consider a second opinion? Hope your blood condition improves soon. Sending you lots of good thoughts and prayers. Caryn
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Olgah,
I am so sorry sweetheart!! Hate stupid TE's. Hang in there, Cry, kick, scream whatever you need to. And remember we will be beside you every step of the way!!! ((((( HUGS)))))
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Ah, man, Olgah, that sucks! I am so sorry. I don't know how this happens, but it is not fair, and I'm so sorry you have to go through this.
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