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  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited April 2013

    Happy Birthday April. I an so glad you had such a good time.

    Sab I do have a van to take everyone with me to MO's appointment Tuesday at 3. As I mentioned I am not going there to hear  the pathology reports grades numbers etc. I am going there to find out if there is any good news and what the treatment plan is. If I were told I had stage 4 I wouldn't be able to stay positive and function on a normal basis.  I want tokeep a smile on my face, and do whatever i have to do for a treatment plan. So my doctor told me he will only tell me any good news and a treatment plan. Huga, Kate

  • justmejanis
    justmejanis Member Posts: 1,474
    edited April 2013

    Happy birthday April!  You deserve the best.  I made something special just for you.  Maybe you can bring it to Kate's pocket party tomorrow?  Enjoy!

    Kate glad you have your friend to go with you tomorrow.  Just focus on healing!  You know your pockets will be full, as always. 

     

  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited April 2013

    Hi Janis,

    Such a great cake for April's birthdy. You are so talented. I am trying to keep my mind off of cancer by doing girlie stuff. Today I am going for a fill and a pedi.. Tomorrow before My mo appointment I am having my hair styled and then going to Mac to buy some make up that I am out of. Hugs, Kate

  • gigil
    gigil Member Posts: 918
    edited April 2013

    Kate you inspire me to get busy on my appearance a bit.  My roots are getting pretty awful.  Time to take care of some beautifying!!  I am glad you are feeling good enough for getting prettied up.  It always makes a person feel so much better!

  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited April 2013

    Hi Gigil,

    If I look good I feel good. Today I went and had a fill and a pedi. Tomorrow 2 hours before my MO appointment I am getting my hair styled and then going to Mac to buy some make up. Maybe if I look good he will tell me only good news. If you look good it can help to think positive. I need my roots done too, but I am doing that on the 19th. On the 19th I am taking my doctor friend out for her Birthday to Malibu and Venice. Even though you are having issues it is so sweet of you to think of me. You have always been very kind to me, and I so much appreciate it. hugs, kate

  • SAB
    SAB Member Posts: 1,121
    edited April 2013

    You know I really think Kate is on to something.  I used to tell my DH that I needed to look young as possible for my Dr. appointments because honestly, I think the care for younger patients is better.  Anybody think I'm crazy?

  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited April 2013

    Hi Sab,I think you are right on. Hugs, Kate

  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited April 2013

    Oh Gosh I hate to be weak, but I have no clue of how to gather strength to get through this appointment tomorrow. Even though I told him I don't want to hear bad news and I don't want to know the grade stage etc. I just want to hear good news if there is any and a treatment plan. I am willing to do surgery, radiation, hormonal therapy, chemo directly to the bladder, but I am not willing to do chemo by pill or intravenously. I am almost certain this is bladder cancer and not breast cancer. if it were breast cancer he would start with hormonal therapy, but bladder cancer requires chemo. Living all alone I would not be able to cope with chemo. Sorry to sound depressed, but I am extremely worried tonight

  • rmlulu
    rmlulu Member Posts: 1,501
    edited April 2013

    Kate - pockets are full...our hearts are with you:) lookin good!

  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited April 2013

    Thank you so much rmlulu

  • new2bc
    new2bc Member Posts: 254
    edited April 2013

    Kate,

    I hope you will get good news tomorrow. At least, something you can handle since you live alone. I know when I was going through my breast cancer a few months ago, I had so many procedures done and I never called any doctor to see what my results were. I was trying not to get bad news. I guess I felt no news is good news. I hope you will be strong enough for tomorrow. I wish you the best of luck.  

  • SAB
    SAB Member Posts: 1,121
    edited April 2013

    Hang on Kate. Hugs from up north.

  • april485
    april485 Member Posts: 1,983
    edited April 2013

    Hugs from me too Kate! We are all there with you today! ((((Kate))))

  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited April 2013

    Thank you new2bc. Even though I told the doctor not to tell me the results of the pathology reports I am aftaid that I know too much and will be able to read through the lines when he tells me what my tratment plan is, I will try to be stong. Thanks for your support

  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited April 2013

    Thanks Sab, I will have you in my pocket and that will make me stronger. Your support has been wonderful for me

  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited April 2013

    Thanks April having you in my pocket will make me stronger too. With your problems you've been there for me since day 1 and I can't thank you enough. I probably won't be posting till late. My doctor;s appointment is at 3, but he us always an hour late and I night not get out of there till 5 or 6. Then I have to call my children. I will post as soon as I can. I have to be honest and let you know things are not looking good. It's either breast cancer or bladder cancer, and my guess is bladder cancer. With lung nodules and having them do a pelvic lymph node biopsy it appears that it has spread to the lungs and lympn hodes. I pray to God that I am wrong. What else will hurt is for 18 months I have been telling my family practioner that I think something is wrong because the shapes of my stools have changed. I told him I felt a blackage and a had to jiggle around to release a bowel movement. For 18 months he has said you are fine you had a colonoscopy and it was negative. He never suggested a urologist or another test. At Xmas time I was in a mall, and I was unable to urinate. I called his office and got the doctor who was covering for him. This doctor gave me an antibiotic, and it took it away. My doctor never followed up on it even though hesutancy could be a sign of bladder cancer. On the list of symptoms at my urologists office it asks if the shape of your bowel movements have changed. So if I have stage 4 bladder cancer it will be hard to swallow because I have begged my doctor for help for 18 months, Sorry to vent. As you can imagine I am scared, but as soon as I get dressed and put you all in my pocket I will feel better hugs, Kate

  • VickieHall777
    VickieHall777 Member Posts: 33
    edited April 2013

    Dear Kate, I am praying!

  • justmejanis
    justmejanis Member Posts: 1,474
    edited April 2013

    Kate I know how difficult this day is going to be.  Hopping in that pocket and bringing plenty of goodies.  Best of luck today...know that you are strong and this too is something you can conquer.  Hugs!

  • brooksidevt
    brooksidevt Member Posts: 1,432
    edited April 2013

    Kate, I only know you from your recent posts on this thread, but I see how strong you are.  At first, you always say, "No, I can't," but then you figure out exactly how to do it.  You say, "Not over the phone," or "Only tell me this and not that."  You have done all the right things to prepare for this meeting.  You've done the girly stuff that gives us all strength.  Your friend, who knows you so well, will be able to help "pace" the meeting in your comfort zone and, as she is an MD, will be able to help you process all the information, not only today, but over the next few weeks.  Should chemo be recommended (and it very well might not), you will handle that too, as so many other livealones do.  You are blessed with good docs and good friends and wonderful neighborhood resources (coffe shops and so forth).  You can do it.  Count me with you.

  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited April 2013

    Thank you so much Janis. It will be great to have you and all the goodies in my pocket. You have been very sweet to me, and I so much appreciate it.

  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited April 2013

    Thank you so much Brookside. Your post btought tears to my eyes thinking about all of the support I have from friends, family, and wonder bc sisters that I think of as friends too. It will be a blessing to have my friend md with me today. She is a sweetheart and such a positive thinker. so I am hoping some of her positive thinking will rub off on me. You are exactly right when you say that at first I say I can't do it, but somehow I get  resilient once more and do what I have to do. Counting you with me today Brookside will be a blessing too. What a wonderful post. You have made me feel better and I can't thank you enough. I actually don't know how I could get through any of this without my bc sisters and friends. Knowing that you will be in my pocket makes me feel better to know so many are routing for me. All of you have you have your own problems, but take time out of your busy schedules to support me. HOW NICE IS THAT! BC SISTERS ARE THE BEST! xoxo, Kate  

  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited April 2013

    Vickie thank you so much for your prayers. Hugs, Kate

  • april485
    april485 Member Posts: 1,983
    edited April 2013

    Kate, checking in on you on my lunch hour. I know that Brookside is right..you always find the strength to do what you have to do.  You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. We are here...no matter what. And, I am so happy your friend is an MD and is going with you today.

    As for your doctor and his dismissive attitude, I would have a talk with him after this if indeed this could have been found earlier! Huge hugs and prayers. We are truly all there with you in spirit!

    Your doctor needs to get an earful from you if indeed whatever is going on has been brewing for a while! No excuse not to give you a test before...sometimes doctors don't take us seriously enough! We know our own body better than anyone! HUGE HUGS!

    Janis! I just noticed my birthday cake! OMG, I can't believe I missed that earlier. Thanks so much for the cake...and the lovely wishes. You are all wonderful here on this forum. I know that I could not do this BC stuff without you! I mean that! Thanks again for the lovely gesture! and that cake is rockin!

  • rmlulu
    rmlulu Member Posts: 1,501
    edited April 2013

    (((Kate))) - we' re here for you holding you close in our hearts & prayers! You are a strong woman ... and with those girlie nails & coiffed hair...along with pocket buddies & appt buddy Dr you are a force to reckon with...know that we are here for you. Stand strong:)

  • new2bc
    new2bc Member Posts: 254
    edited April 2013

    Hi Kate,

    My prayers are with you. I hope you have someone to drive you to the doctor's office. Your story about your doctor telling you everything is fine when you suspected something is wrong happens a lot. I remember when I was sent to the urologist because of recurrent UTIs, he found out I was a patient of him before and he looked inside of my bladder 10 years ago. Based on that, he told me that it is nothing and he already examined my bladder before. I told him that was 10 years ago and a lot can happen in 10 years. Then he agreed to do more testing. I don't know if they are trying to save money for the insurance or what. They are so confident and they make the patient feel guilty for asking to be examined. They tell the patients they worry too much. Anyway, I wish the best for you today. Everyone here will be in your pocket today.   

  • gigil
    gigil Member Posts: 918
    edited April 2013

    Kate thinking about you a lot today and praying you are being given strength. We will be waiting to hear from you, whenever you are ready. Sorry you had such a rough go of it last night. Maybe having some answers today will help some. (HUGS). GiGi

  • josie123
    josie123 Member Posts: 1,749
    edited April 2013

    Kate,I prayed for you Today as I was laying there getting my Rads.Hope everything is ok.((hugs))

    Josie

  • lemon68
    lemon68 Member Posts: 301
    edited April 2013

    Kate, thinking of you... prayers coming to you. xoxo

  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited April 2013

    Hi April,

    Is today your birthday? If so sorry I forgot and happy birthday. I don't have good news to tell you, but I am strong and I will get through this. I have bladder cancer. Lucky me I got through breast cancer and now I have bladder cancer. I will require 4-6 months of chemo. Once a week for three weeks and the 4th week off.My doctor swears that with this type of chemo my hair won't fall out yeah! I did not ask him the grade the stage etc. I did ask If I will live a year and he said yes. I asked it there is a possibility I could live 5 years and he said yes. He also said it is possible for the chemo to knock out my lung nodules. I am going to stay positive and do what I have to do.

     My doctor said I have a 3 week window before I start chemo and I am going to take a trip to chicago to see my family. I told my kids I do not want to talk about illness I just want to have a good time and enjoy them and my grandchildren.

    As for my family practioner I am going to a lawyer asap

    to see if I have a malpractice suit. For 18 months I have been telling him there is something wrong because the shape of my stools have change, and because I feel a blockage, and because it is difficult to eliminate a bowel movement. I've told it to him 1 dozen times over the past 18 months, and all he ever said was you are fine you had a colonoscopy.

    If you guysdon't mind I would like to continue on this site. I don't want to join a bladder cancer support gtoup. I want to stay where i have friends. April and all my wondrful bc sisters I can't than you enough for your support hugs, Kate

  • katehudson25
    katehudson25 Member Posts: 1,939
    edited April 2013

    rmlulu, new2bc,gigil, josie, and Lemon. Thank you all so much for your support. Please read my last post to April so you know what happened today. Hugs, Kate