Radiation recovery
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Big D/Joan thanks for the prayers.I'm glad we were able to be with you in your pocket today.I'm praying everything turns out great.
Cindy also thanks for the prayers.I was thinking about you this morning when I was watching the Today Show.Matt Lauer and the other men on the show went fly fishing.They didn't know what they were doing and I was thinking to myself you could have shown them a thing or two about fly fishing.
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Josie, your DD is beautiful! Sorry to hear of your FIL. I am sure you want to scream "enough already"!! Sending prayer.
Gigi, thanks for sharing your pic. Everyone looks so happy, you look like the perfect size grandma!
Big D, good to hear today went well. Your pockets were jam packed, more wishes and prayer coming for results.
Thanks all for caring how my recovery is going, means so much to me. I had a bad night last night, up till about 3 even a sheet was too heavy for my girls to stand. I finally took a Xanax and fell asleep. Today I have been fine. I dread the nights my swelling is worse at night, I become so tight and it burns, hard to describe. I see PS on Friday moved it up a week just to make sure all is fine. I know this too shall pass, I as I think you all know am not patient, but I do know how blessed I am and really don't want to complain.
XO
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Thanks Lemon, I appreciate that.
Sorry to hear you had worse swelling the other night.I was wondering if you are able to wear a bra? If so could you sleep with one on to support your girls? Maybe even if it was a bigger one that isn't constricting.Sorry just a suggestion I've never been through what you have.So that may not have been the right suggestion.
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I was thinking the same thing Josie said but I don't really know either. I can't stand to wear a bra sometimes and I'm not going through what you are. A friend gave me a Xanax one time. Wow I felt so much better. Whatever works when you are in pain. Good you are seeing your doctor soon.
My father used that phrase regularly - this too shall pass. Def words to live by.
Btw I'm not a patient person either. I always want it done yesterday.
Diane
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Thinking of you, BigD, and your fill-in doc, and hoping that this time s/he turns out to be a real gem. Also hoping you heard some good news.
I heard from Bunkie (remembered that RunFree said PM's go to her email, so I tried that). Bunkie's vertigo is driving her nuts, making for difficult reading. She wants you all to know she is with us, just not up to posting, and, despite computer issues, is following as best she can..
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thanks for the update on Bunkie, Brookside.
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Hi dear friends:
I knew going into this week that it would be a rough one and it has been. And when I have felt really low, I have thought about all of you and the issues and troubles you are facing as well.Today was even crazier than yesterday, with some good news and some other news. I will not call it bad news, not yet.
I had an appt with my RO today and he was not there, as you all know. He has been ill over the past many months, I do not know with what, but I know it has to be serious because it has been six weeks since I saw him and then I was told he is out and not feeling well again. So I was expecting another fill-in doc that I would probably not like.Guess what – she was FABULOUS!
After I came in and saw the nurse who said I looked fantastic (I have lost 20 pounds in the last 6 weeks), I sat and told her about my issues. She was taking notes and told me to change into a gown and the doctor would be in. Over 20 mins passed, and I was getting concerned because usually the doc comes in fairly quickly.The nurse popped back in and she told me that doctor wanted to look at every report that was in the data bank on me and it was taking her some time. I was glad that she was interested enough to do that so I was happy to wait.
When she came in she talked to me at length about the CT brain scan report. My MO had not done that.The doctor who initially called me about it only said she could not tell what it was without looking at another CT – but she had called my MO about it and that put me on alert right there. So today, the doctor showed me the report and the radiologist who read the scan said that, in his opinion, the spots on my forehead was metastasis.
I was sad, of course, but I told the doctor I appreciated her being honest with me and I asked her what the blood test was that my MO was having done that was special.She said it was to check for multiple myeloma (I had already guessed that on my own by doing a little research). So we talked about multiple myeloma for a bit and she said neither that blood test nor the PETscan results were back yet and without them, they did not have enough info. However, certain markers in the blood that indicate MM are there right now – my Albumin has shot way up from what it was in March, my calcium is up, my BUN is up, and those are indications that something may be going on in my bone marrow.
I made an appt for 6 months and she told me she is not even concerned right now with a mammogram, and I should see what my MO says in terms of when to have the next one. I ran and hugged the two techs who were busy with patients but they made me promise to come down and tell them the results on Friday and I said I would do that. I love them both to pieces. Really great people.
So I went into work feeling like I had BC metastasis – and maybe MMtoo. Not a good start to the day. But honestly, I was glad to know what that doctor knew. I understand that my MO probably does not want to scare me but I am already scared, so what the heck.
As soon as I got to work, my MO’s nurse called and said the MRI test reports and pictures that I had asked to be mailed to my MO had not yet arrived and my MO said he must have them. So I had to call the place again and I told her to get them on a disk and I would pick them up and deliver them myself. Another hour and a half our of my day and my bosses are going crazy because we are so busy, but I told them I have no choice.This is my life we are dealing with here.
I told a few of my friends at work and tried up just keep it upbeat but I know they could see the worry on my face.
At 2:30 I went over to pick up the records and then delivered them over to the hospital to my MO.
Drove back to work and when I got to work, I checked my cell phone and my MO’s nurse had called and I just did not hear the phone go off. She said that the results of the PET scan came back and it is normal. NORMAL!!!!! Music to my ears. So here is a radiologist at another hospital, a very good hospital in Dallas, one of the top 3, and his opinion was wrong.Thank God I am not getting treatment there.
So I wanted to share that with all of you who have been in my pockets with me and supporting me. I may stillhave MM or it is something else, but there is something in the forehead.The RO told me that what has everyone stumped is that even if it was bc metastasis or MM, to have either one of those start in the forehead bone is unheard of. She said cancer is crazy, it does what it wants to do and it can fool the best doctors.That is why every person’s cancer is unique to them and that is why a general ”cure” is something that no one can fathom happening, at least not yet.
I know this is long-winded but I had to get it out and no people I would rather share it with than all of you.
Thank you for news on Bunkie, with the balance issues I have been having I so empathize with Bunkie. When vertigo is bad it is disabling. I pray she can find relief maybe from an ENT and come back to us soon.
I still worry about Kate, I hope she is loving our cards and is getting better. I miss her being with us.
Cindy, hope you are doing well and that your hubby is better. I think about you both.
Thanks for your kind words, Brookside, Lemon (sorry you had a bad night, enough of that already! It will get better, it takes time), and Josie.
Redheaded, I still need your Angel for Friday, if you do not mind. And you all must be in my pockets by 8:30 am CST sharp! Don't be late!
Love you all, and I will sleep a little easier tonight. I can handle whatever comes on Friday, especially if I have you all with me.
BigD/Joan
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Big D - thank you for taking the time to update us. I am sure you are emotionally and physically spent. We are all praying for you. Sounds like good news - the normal - and yet to be determined the spots on your forehead. Also glad you liked your doctor - that helps a lot. Keep us posted.
Diane
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(((BigD))) wow, what a day! And your composure....Pockets full and angles posted all around you...praying for the truth to be know. We can work with the truth.
Yeah, that the PET scan is normal...fingers&toes crossed for Friday and a correct evaluation...sleep well...sending the sandman your way. Sweet dreams.
(((Hugs)))
Cindy
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big D/Joan, words cannot express how sorry I am about this news. I was so hoping it would be nothing important. The news is scary, but I guess way better than it might have been, and I'm very glad you found this RO today who shared everything with you. As you said, you're already scared so you might as well know the worst. Thanks so much for sharing this with us. I'm thinking you are one very strong lady to have been able to report this all to us calmly and succinctly. You've got great courage and I think will get thru this. And, we won't any of us be late on Friday, because I for one am starting the gathering right now. After all, a girl needs her beauty sleep, and we can help with that by watching over you. So...snuggle down with the princess warrior coat, feel all the love and prayers coming your way to help support you thru this, and face the day tomorrow and Friday knowing we're all with you.
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Oh BigD, what a giant scary roller coaster of a day!
So the PET scan is normal--NORMAL!!!!--but what you're going to learn on Friday is about possible multiple myeloma? If it's not MM, and the PET is normal, could it still somehow be a bone met in your forehead??? I'm getting confused about the normal PET with still something going on in your forehead, I guess, because I thought the PET was to see if the forehead spots were cancerous.
All told it sounds like this great RO today is really on your side, and your MO who's been so caring is another good team member. I'll totally be there on Friday morning.
Thank you, Brookside, for getting in touch with Bunkie and for the report. What a horrible curse this vertigo is. I hope she can get it under control somehow. She's suffered so much.
I saw my RO today and she told me she really doesn't need to see me again. She had said that in January but I balked, and she agreed to see me again this spring. But now we're done. She gave me a hug. Then I saw my MO and she again was lovely, spent over an hour with me. I have a sore spot on my spine that we talked about; she isn't that worried about it, but she told me what to pay attention to. She wants me to redo some blood work because of my previous low white count. I told her I'm having a lot of night sweats and we talked about Effexor. I might try it when I get back from all the trips I'm taking in the next few weeks. She said people also take gabapentin for hot flashes and night sweats. She just got back from the big ASCO conference where she heard about a study that tracked pre-menopausal women doing ovarian suppression with either Tamoxifen or an aromatase inhibitor, and the AI/OS combination group did a little better in terms of recurrence. But overall there were very few "events," ie recurrences, in any of them. She doesn't want to put me on ovarian suppression now, though, because she thinks it's pretty harsh, and I'm doing well without it. I'll see her again in 6 months.
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Tonight feeling in shock...received a YouTube link of a dear colleague's passing...The tragic story of__. Oh my, FB posting showed conference recipant receive award in his honor...than the emails came in...ugh! Life is so fragile. Hubby and I both rattled, grateful of time served with this sweet soul. Great impact on our industry.
Hubby still sleeping...bladder infection is nasty...hoping he does well on flight next week.
Kayaking was so great early this morning...6 out for 3 hours...a little LE swelling, but will do my massage.
Thanks on the Bunkie report! Sorry vertigo is so bad:(
Lemon - ice packs and Xanax...a good thing...hope tomorrow is better...every tomorrow
Got to go for a walk and clear my head.
(((Hugs)))
Cindy
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Big D/Joan.....I have been following your progress all along and hope you felt me squirming in those pockets. It was awfully crowded in there. Seems like you have a large fan club as it was hard not to step on someone. The poor gals on the bottom are a tad bruised today. We took good care of you. I know how scary that whole procedure was. The test results sound pretty good. I have known two people with lesions on the brain that have never caused problems at all. It is so strange. I hope you know if you need to vent, this place is open 24/7. Also if you ever would like a shoulder to lean on, feel free to call me. Just PM me and I will happily share it. That goes to each and every one of you wonderful ladies. Day or night, I will talk to you okay? Don't ever feel alone and scared!
Brookside I am so glad you tracked Bunkie and that she is doing the best she can right now. I think she knows how very much we care about her as well.
Sweet Josie, it seems you go out of your way to help people and are always supportive. Then to get treated so poorly ay work is just wrong. I am so sorry for all you are going through. Don't allow it to dampen your spirit please. You are so kind hearted and so many people appreciate the gift you have. You make a difference, always know that!
Lemon I am so sorry you are suffering. Those restless nights are awful. Call if you need to. You are doing all the right things. We just have to listen to the signals it sends us. It sounds so trite to say 'this too shall pass' when you are in a lot of discomfort. You have many friends here and we all feel a bit of your pain. Please know how loved you are, and cling to that thought that yes, it will get better. One day this will be a memory. Big hugs Sweetie! We are all here anytime you need to talk it out.
Joan I hope all is well in your world. I know how much you looked forward to seeing your grandson. Family is so important. If you have them, cherish every moment. Life is fragile and has a bad habit of throwing these silly monkey wrenches into our lives. Live and love well! Never let a day go by without telling our loved ones how much they mean to us. Life is terribly fragile as we have all come to know.
Shout outs to everyone I didn't address...I am terrible about forgetting everything when the thread moves fast. I do read every single post and I always say a special prayer to anyone facing adversity. I care. My hope for each and every one of you is to move past BC and move on to whatever brings you joy, a sense of continuity, a new purpose perhaps. You ladies shine, you are awesome to the newbies. Cancer isn't pretty but we can definitely make the journey more interesting and hopefully make the ride easier for others. You rock, every one of you. I am so proud to know you all. You all matter, you all have value, and you would reach out anytime to help anyone. No wonder I am so lucky, and I mean that. Cancer brought us together and I have no regrets about any of it. I truly think we were all meant to be together, bonded by a dreadful disease. We have grown from our experiences and as we slowly try to return to normal, we are all still here, together, always willing to help another one. It is such a unique ride, but the most important thing as that we are on this bus together. My bucket list includes meeting as many of you as I can. I met one and she is amazing and a fantastic friend.
Okay all done, but I do want you all to know how very deeply I care. I lean on your shoulders often and it is quite the ride!
Healing hugs, much love!
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Oh Cindy I am so sorry for the loss of a dear colleague. I am sure a good friend as well. These things are never easy are they? You are so right, life is terribly fragile and these things really throw us for a loop. I know his passing must have been a shock to you and DH. Sending you big, big hugs Cindy. I am so sorry. Often there are no words to adequately try to comfort someone. Just know that I care, and of course the same with you....write or PM me anytime you need to talk. I imagine you will have a rough few days ahead. Again, my sincere condolences to you and your DH. Take care of yourself please.0 -
BigD ((hugs)) and more ((hugs)) Thank God the petscan is normal! That is good news. I am glad you had someone to talk with you honestly. I was looking at your original DX and your nodes were clean, another good thing in your favor. Joan were you DX twice? Was it the same side both times? I am sorry if I missed it or am just not remembering. Either way you already had your turn like the rest of us, I really hope that this is a false alarm. I am so glad you are under such great care. I am just going to stay here in your pocket, its nice here and I feel the love.
Josie and Diane, thank you so much. I am wearing a surgical bra which is really just a cotton or spandex 8-10 hook up the front style. I only take it off to shower. Its holding everything in there..lol I can wear anything cotton or spandex just no under wires. Since I was applying cream and now lotion having the hooks in the front is easier access. I wish I could post my pics right here, I did figure out how to resize them just need to sit and do it. I haven't taken a pic lately as I am now lopsided. The radiated side is smaller. Oddly my skin had returned to normal a year after rads but it now looks like it had rads its all different colors or tan. I got my pathology and she took another node during the surgery which explains the indent I have, I had a scar from the SNB and now its a dent I can put my finger in, hoping he can fill it as it looks odd and is tender but it was a clean node, thank God. I had 2 micro mets when I had my SNB and that has always haunted me so this was good news.
I hope Kate has begun getting the cards. I will get her a BDay card soon and send that also. I miss reading her posts. Thank you for update on Bunkie, I miss her posts also.
Cindy how is DH doing?
I didnt see a post from April, praying for the baby.
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Cindy, so sorry you had to learn about the loss of your colleague that way. It is a shock. I hope your DH continues to get stronger and be ready for anything. I am really glad you got to go kayaking. It is good for the soul to get on the water and let it take you places you don't usually go. A new perspective is so refreshing.
BigD/Joan, I am feeling like Run - a little confused about the 'normal' scan but still possibly having MM and something in the forehead. I do hope that someone can shed light on this and that the tests will be favorable for you. Of course I'll jump in your pocket - I'm up early so no problem. I hope I get a window
Hi Bunkie, if you are reading along when you can, we are all thinking of you.
Kate, if you have had a chance to check in we are all thinking of you as well.
It just isn't the same around here right now...Lemon, this is a long recovery...I do not think I'd be patient at all. I hope it won't be much longer until you don't have to think about your discomfort every day.
Hi Janis, I like what you wrote and feel the same - the ladies here have grown very close in the past few months.
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BigD you have really been through it lately. Sending you hugs and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I am hoping the pet scan being clear will be a sign that the news will be good. I know you have some labs that are off, but it would seem many things could contribute to that. We will just wait in your pocket and keep you company until you get the the final word on things. You are definitely approaching this thing with a lot of courage and resolve. I admire you for that and you inspire me. I am such a quivering flower when I have to do anything medical. I am due for another mammogram and sooner or later someone is going to decide to do more testing on me. My MO retired, and this past year has been so busy taking care of my father, who passed in December. I need to get busy, but I don't want to do it. You are courageous. Good for you for pursuing the answers you need. Whatever they turn out to be, we will be there.
Janis, your lovely message is so true. We were all destined to meet and it has been a wonderful comfort knowing how we have been there for each other. This particular group is just the best. Comfort and support when it is needed is wonderful. Your offers to be there are echoed by me. I have spent some lonely, scary moments when this journey started. It is so good to have support and women who have been through it to talk to.
I miss Kate too, and I hope our cards are giving her some comfort.
Cindy, so sorry about your colleague. It is so difficult to hear about those things that way - just a shcck. I hope your DH heals from his infection. We went through some of that here, before my DH had a green light laser procedure. I went through it too, for a bit until I found a regimen that helped. Maybe it would help him too. I use D-mannose powder dissolved in water each night. It is a sugar made from cranberries. The bacteria in the bladder are madly attracted to it, and it carries them right away. I couple that with a good probiotic and vitamin D. I think I remember your DH has blood sugar problems. From what I read, the D-mannose will elevate the blood sugar temporarily, but that effect passes. You should research that on your own however, before he tries it. Poor guy. He has been through so much.
Lemon I hope the pain is improving. Is it early next week that you go back to see your doctor. You are not having any temperature are you? If so, it would not be out of order to get things checked out ahead of time.
Missing Bunkie. For anyone with balance issues, Qigong really helps. I have those things off and on depending on which allergy season it is, but the Qigong keeps the balance situation in pretty good order.
Shoutouts to everyone else. WE are all in BigD's pocket together. It is a bit crowded, but it is a good kind of crowded. We are all a pretty good group, when one of us needs the company and comfort.
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Big D, Thank you for sharing all your results with us.I'm happy for you that the PET scan was normal.We will be in your pocket for Friday.I will be praying for you as you wait.Your such a strong person with a great attitude about thing.That really makes a difference.But I'm so sorry you have to be in this situation.
Cindy I'm sorry your husband is suffering from a terrible bladder infection.I'll pray for him also.
Janis, your comments made me cry.You are so sweet.Thank you for caring so much.
Lemon, your welcome.I hope your finding relief.
I will send my card to Kate today.Better late then never.I miss her so much and part of me wishes she would write back just to let me know she got the card.Yesterday I received a little card in the mail and the return address was from CA.My heart skipped a beat for a second thinking of Kate.I know she doesn't have my address yet.But she will soon.Unfortunately it was just a . Card from Direct TV trying to get us to come back.
I've been lazy this morning but need to get busy.I have to find us a dryer or order the timer for the old one.$116 or buy a used dryer for about that.Decisions Decisions....
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Hi ladies - Just stopping in to say hello. Thank you Brookside for the check in. My dizziness has been off the charts and have been in and out of the ER, starting PT, changing DRs, dealing withn my old house toxins that got stirred up with the plumbing job and still working with all my drs about my thyroid issue they can not find. I have had a brain/sinus CT and am now waiting for a brain MRI. Whew!!! My newest ENT swears I have Minieres without any hearing loss. I do have a really bad ringing in my ears all the time and I keep falling. I walk like I am drunk. It is another auto immune disease to add to my list. However the low salt and fluid diet they want me on messes with my adrenals and secondary addisons so I am really not sure what to do. They did give me an epply treatment again where they flip you to correct the loose ear crystals. It did nothing so that is not the problem. Today the vertigo is a bit lighter and I am going to get in some posting real fast.I see about 15 pages since I last posted so will go back and read them.
I was thinking about Kate the other day and wondering if she is ok. last I heard she was just back from Chicago and starting chemo.
To all the new ladies on here welcome. I usually post a lot but it has been one crazy winter (6 day power outage and 40 below most of the season) spring (very wet and causing my house to flood AGAIN) and now summer. Yesterday we got 4 inches of rain in 4 hours. Everything is flooded. So I willl check in later on that stuff.
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Bunkie, WAY too much going wrong but it's so good to hear from you! I hope they figure it out and fast!
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BUNKIE, welcome back.We are so happy to hear from you.I'm sorry you don't sound like you've had a good spring at all.I hope it gets easier for you.How was your babysitting trip?
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Bunkie good to hear from you. Hope the dizziness goes away now. Enough already! You need a break.
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Joan - your post was the absolutely sweetest most heartfelt post I have ever read. It truly was a tearjerker and definitely back at you and everyone else as well.
Cindy - so sorry for the loss of your colleague.
Hope all of you Bunkie, Joan, Lemon and anyone else who is in pain find relief ASAP. I can't say I know what you guys are going through but I certainly sympathasize and care.
I didn't know Kate had a birthday coming up. I just sent her a get well card. Hope Run gets an update from Tracey soon.
You guys are the best!
Diane
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I'm so embarrassed, oops Cindy my condolences also on your colleague.I totally forgot to mention that in my post.
I had my visit with my counselor at the Cancer center.We talked and then he did express a little concern if he gave me a letter explaining how my whole experience with Cancer and treatments could have affected my level of performance that they could potentially fire me because they would have it in writing that I couldn't perform my job as well as I used to.He said he would be more than happy to do it if that's what I really want.Not sure if it's worth losing my job over.He said he's pretty sure my MO would be able to write a similar letter indicating the Tamoxofin May affect my ability to work as fast.
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Cindy I am so sorry for your loss---its so hard to lose those that are part of our work life--we spend more time with them that we do our own families--they actually become families in a sense.
Big D---my Angel wouldn't think of leaving you until you tell her to come back. However, I think she did leave briefly to kick that dumbass radiologist where it would hurt. But, hey that didn't take long, cause she had a big target to zoom in on. He's probably still rubbing himself and thinking WTF.
I can't add much to what else has been said---I remember a poem about "we never know how tall we are until we're called to rise...." You my friend are standing tall and withstanding a storm right now.
My next door neighbor was told she had all the markers, etc. for MM but she has been going good for several years without any type of treatment. They monitor her and at some point, there is a pill she will take, at least that's what she shared with me. But I'm sure she is older than you, and didn't have a b.c. history.
Get yourself a hot chocolate and a cookie, and turn in......
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Okay this has zero to do with anything but Tennessee just had their very first Powerball winner - 284mil....wow...the winning ticket was sold in Knoxville. I don't buy PB tickets but I do lot of people who do. Even I would have trouble spending all that money...
Diane
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Ladies, I am ready for tomorrow and when you crawl into my pockets, try not to step on each other and reach out if you can a few times, and grab my hand so I can feel you!
MostlySew, sometimes I feel strong and sometimes not, but I believe each of us have an inner strength that has only increased with not only our diagnoses, but just with the things that you handle more as you grow older, health issues, friends and family members who are battling issues that need you to help or give them the support as you do in here with us. I truly do feel the love and prayers and appreciate your nice words.
RunFree, I am confused too, actually, I thought the PET scan would light up the lesion in my forehead like a Christmas tree, so to get the ”normal” on the scan leaves me confused. If it isnot mets and it is not MM, then what is it? Well, tomorrow I will know what the diagnosis and plan is, I hope. I understand what you mean about letting go of a doctor because the time comes when they no longer need to see you. My surgeon did two other surgeries on me prior to the bc lumpectomy, and I was actually excited when he told me he would be seeing me for two years and would be the person to tell me when to get a mammogram. He has saved my life 3 times now, how do you not feel connected to someone like that? Besides, he is cute and I call him Dr. McDreamy. Oh if he was just into older heavy women, I would have it made! Whatever trips you are going on, I am jealous. I have not had a trip in sooooo long, I am dreaming of a real vacation. Maybe in a couple of years. Money and health issues have prevented me from spending anything on a vacation. But I still have hope! Hope you will have a great time and can relax and enjoy every minute.
Cindy, oh I am so very sorry for your loss of a friend.You are right, life is fragile and I believe we all have a greater appreciation for it with what we have all gone through. I know I do.I hope your hubby is getting over his bladder infection, ugh.I have had that a couple of times and that is no fun!! I picture you kayaking – I have never done that. You need to take me one day. I hope you are feeling okay, you know we all are here for you whenever you need.
Janis, I will take you up on your kind offer. Will PM you with my number too, and if any of you want my number, I would gladly give it to you. I think it would be fun if maybe we did a Skype call sometime. What do you think? The lesion is not on my brain,but is in my forehead bone. And there are small holes next to the large one, which is not really that large, maybe ¾ of an inch.But we need to know if it is something that has just always been there, or if there is something breaking down the bone. If it is not MM, then maybe they will just keep an eye on it for awhile, or get a biopsy of it, which I would def not be looking forward to. But will tell you all tomorrow night.
I loved what you wrote Janis, I so agree. I would never say I am glad that I got cancer, but it opened my eyes to a lot of things and is helping me to make changes that I should have made along time ago. And to find a group of wonderful women who understand like none of my friends or family do, is a blessing.I am honored to be among each one of you and I am here for you all as well, day or night. I do not know if I will ever feel normal again, but this has been a very rough 6 months and questions still unanswered. I don’t mind going through tests, in fact they fascinate me to a certain extent. I like to look when they put a needle in me – I know, I am weird. I wanted to watch my biopsy but the doctor said absolutely not. But the fear in waiting for test results is what gets to me.I do not wait well. I wish I did. I can handle what I need to face but the unknown is what gets me. Maybe I will feel better in a year, we will see.
Lemon, I had an initial dx of stage 1, less than 1cm – that was prior to surgery, when all they were looking at was the ultrasound. After the surgery, that is when I got the real results, 2.2cm and after the bone scan, onco test, bracha tests, and path report, I was staged as IIa. I wondered why I was told the tumor was smaller than it was, but my surgeon assured me that it is not uncommon for a doc to tell you one thing based on an ultrasound, and quite another when the surgeon excises it and the pathologist measures it. And there were areas close by that were growing too, which they did not see because they were so small. So that is why I have two dxs. I hope you are feeling better, Lemon, and the pain is easing for you.You have been through a lot more than I and you are brave and strong.
Joan, LOL a window! You got it. Grab the window seat and don’t let anyone take it from you!
GiGiL, sending you big hugs right back. I wish you lived near me, not sure where you are, but I would be the perfect person to accompany you to any procedure you would need. I do not mind them a bit, I only hate the waiting for the results.I really am not all that courageous. I just have to deal with things on my own. Everyone in here is courageous, including you, and do not think for a moment that you are not. Losing an MO and having to find another is something that I would not want to deal with.My docs have all been recommended and my only disappointment has been the docs who did the reading on my brain MRI and brain CT, and they were at another hospital, not the one I am getting treatment at.The beauty of it all is we make the choice, if you do not like a doctor, get rid of him/her and find another to try. And losing your father was not easy either. A lot to deal with. You ARE courageous. So jump in my pocket tomorrow and don’t try to wiggle your way into Joan’s window seat!
Josie, thank you so much for your prayers.Glad you are coming along tomorrow. I need a dryer too. I live in an apartment and can rent one, but I am looking on Craig’s List. I just need to find someone to deliver.
Bunkieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.So glad to see you in here! My gosh, you sound so much like me but I do not have vertigo. My ENT thinks I have Meniere’s too, and I am not sure. Although he said he was not sure either. I am on a diuretic right now and so far it has worked enough to stop the falling down and the uncontrollable disequilibrium I was going through for literally weeks. I thought Meniere’s episodes only lasted a few hours, so not sure what is going on with me either, but I truly empathize with you. I went to the ER and they told me they could not find anything wrong and I was devastated. I do not have hearing loss either, but do have tinnitus. Hang in there. If you find an answer, do let me know as I still need to find one as well.
Redheaded, thanks for the Angel loan. You know what I did before I came home tonight? I stopped at Starbucks and got me a latte anda chocolate croissant. I needed it! You read my mind. I am turning in early tonight and will be thinking of all of you in the morning.
I know I am in good hands, both at the hospital, and here with you all.
Night and big hugs to you all!!!
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BigD, I hope you're in bed by now, but you will have quite a crowd with you tomorrow morning. I hope you get it all figured out and I hope it's all good news. You wrote a beautiful long post to everyone--thank you!
Cindy, I am so sorry about your colleague. What an awful shock, and so very sad.
Listen, some small but real good news: Kate just accepted my friend request on Facebook! She didn't write anything, but it shows she was online. I'm hoping for more contact soon. I wrote her a very short, I hope not overwhelming message saying we all love her and miss her and we've sent cards and all our best.
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Well we went for the used dryer.If it breaks down its guaranteed for 6 months.They will send a repair guy out if they can't fix it they will replace it.
Big D , hopefully there's room for me in that pocket of yours.
RunFree, thanks for the update on Kate.I sent her a card today and
I was sealing it and addressing it I realized I wrote Kate on the card,not her real name.But on the envelope I wrote her real name.
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Runfree that is great that Kate was online!
good sign, thanks for sharing with us.Big D thank you for the explanation. To tell me I am brave and strong brought tears to my eyes. I know I must be but I don't often feel like it. I hope you are doing alright tonight, the waiting is horrible. I tend to remove myself from the situation the best I can. Not sure if it is healthy to do that but sometimes I have to do it. Before my diep surgery I just acted like it was no big deal, I think I said before I don't even remember the ride there or walking in etc.. I felt like a little child just zoning out in my own world. To have been there mentally I couldn't have done it.. Xanax is actually one of my best friends in those kind of situations. If you don't have something to keep you calm please ask for it. Even if you only take it when needed it can help you feel better and help you get some sleep too. I see you as strong and brave, your attitude is positive and you are so filled with love. I wish I was there to hold your hand tomorrow but I will be in your pocket. If you get too nervous while waiting think of all of us celebrating life together, lots of laughter, lots of GOOD yummy food and maybe even some cocktails, let your mind wander. Prayer as always coming.
Cindy, I am sorry I missed your post my condolences. And I do hope DH is doing better now.
Bunkie, so good to see your pic and post!
Josie, I can see where they may interpret the letter like that but aren't there laws against termination due to medical reasons? How is your job hunting going for you? Are you trying to stay in the same field or wanting to try something new? I work in Social Science Research and love it.
GiGi, no temperature other than my occasional lovely hot flashes! LOL. I see my PS tomorrow a week early just to make sure all is fine. My right side swelling seems better but the left is horrible, even my back is swollen. Hoping for some relief tomorrow afternoon.
XO
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