Radiation recovery
Comments
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Joan, you have a lot to think about. But we should only focus on what we can control, not what is out of our hands. Ha...easier said than done. What is sad is that you have to worry about insurance and your job. Disability can be a tough route. But for now, focus on getting well. Feel free to vent any time 24/7...we are here for you.
I am sorry it has to be this way but am glad they could visualize it and remove it.
Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.Gigi, welcome back from the east coast. I hope you had a wonderful time with everyone together.
About to go out with DS and his gf for the last time...it was a tough day - weird. bad stuff/good stuff/but all ends well. I went shopping and that always takes my mind off things even if I don't buy. I am going home at 6 Am so will be traveling before 4 AM.0 -
Big D I am so sorry you had to receive such crappy news. I hate cancer so much! Hoping that the lesions turn out to be benign and you won't be inconvenienced for too long. Even BC has so many twists and turns we can hardly know what to expect. I am really sorry that you are all over the map it seems. Sigh.......I hope you can find one person there who you can confide in as you enter this next phase of your treatment. I so wish I could be there to help you during these difficult days. I hope you call me soon. I would love to talk with you!
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Prayers are with you, Joan.
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Dang Joan so sorry you are facing all of this and it sure is criminal to have to add financial worries and your boss' needling about your time off to everything else. What happened to so sorry you are dealing with this - how can we help or don't worry about your job. We know you are scared but you know you have all of us praying for you. We can't be there with you in body but we are there in spirit so you are far from alone in this. Try not to worry and keep the faith.
Diane
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Big D, I am sorry to read the news today. I know you are scared and have ever reason to allow yourself to be so, but you are also strong and brave. Your attitude is wonderful and you have faith in your doctors. They will get this figured out and we will continue to pray for a benign condition. My mom had brain surgery right before my diep, she was at a Polka with my dad dancing away this past weekend. She was so scared but is doing fine now. I will be with you and the others holding your hand. XO
Joan and Josie, jealous of the luncheon, what fun. Great pic!
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big D/Joan, I don't even know what to say. I'm so sorry to hear this news for you. I'll be with you lending moral support, {{Hugs}}, cheers and encouragement. What a journey you've already been on, and now more. I sure hope they can get you scheduled quickly so you can get to the healing part and be done with all this. Deep breath, pizza treats and a full Xanax for you tonight.....
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Dear Big D/Joan, I wish we could all be with you now, but we are there in spirit. I don't want to trivialize your worries, but it think you can only handle so much-one step at a time.i don't think it will help you to think of worst case scenarios. And it seems that there is much to be positive about, your great medical team, a diagnosis, if incomplete, a plan. Prayers are with you.xoxo
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BigD/Joan, I repeat what all my sisters said above. I hope your boss and co-workers surprise you and tell you not to worry and they have your back and that they support you. My cowokers were able to donate sick time to me as I had used a bunch of mine for my dad as we are allowed to use "sick family" time as well as for our own illness and I found myself short when I was diagnosed. Maybe your company has something like that?
If not, I know you have to just let the worry go and concentrate on your health first and foremeost. We are here for you and please feel free to post any and all of your feelings here. Hugs! (((((Joan/BigD))))
Josie and Joan, loved the photo of the two of you at your meet up!
Gotta run as usual. My 9:00am appt is here (at 9:10!!!!) xo
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big D, you are in my prayers. God knows what you are feeling and will comfort you, as well as giving you guidance. When I was diagnosed the first time I heard His voice clearly say, Give this to me. It's hard to do that....but He does care.
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Big D Joan......you know I am with you through the difficult days ahead. For me, it helps to focus on the 'good' things this tumor could be, rather than the worst. I know how scared you are. You are not alone. I sure wish I could help in some way. I wish we lived closer, but even at this long distance I am always here when you need to talk. Big hugs sweet lady!
Josie/Joan, I am so jealous you two got to meet! I would love to have lunch with you gals. I am actually very happy for you both and I am sure it was a great time. Josie, I love the vacation photos. Your family looks so vibrant and clearly they were having a great time. Despite all the troubles getting a trip planned, the money, it is all worth it when you see those big happy grins. You and your DH are doing great making such fun memories for your children. They will never forget.
I am thinking of you all and hoping everyone has a safe and fun weekend. I will be hibernating indoors trying to keep my poor dogs from having a breakdown. They are petrified of the fireworks and of course it has already started in this area. Oh Lili your dogs are stunning! I will try to get a photo of mine on here. Loved the dog pictures everyone posted. They enrich our lives so much. As much as I love Golden Retrievers, I am saddened that they are so prone to cancer. It scares me so much having already lost one to this hideous disease.
Have fun my friends and be safe. Love and hugs to all.
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BigD/Joan, I am voting for the benign condition too. I have heard of a case like that, and it tends to be fast growing. I am glad you are in such wonderfully competent hands. I really hope your company is the kind that allows others to donate their unused sick leave. We are here right with you and distressed that you have to endure yet another ordeal! We will hang in there with you and be your soft place to land whenever you need us. Hugs to you, my friend.
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Gigil I was wondering what kind of plans you have over this holiday? I know you have a large family. It sure would be nice if most of your kids/grandkids could all be together. Wishing you and your family the happiest time!
We aren't doing anything special for the 4th, but I am of course going out of town for my birthday. I am so excited. We have a camper we rarely use, so will take that. I will be staying in Conifer with my son and DIL while Chuck continues on to visit with his son and family. They live about 70 miles from Denver. Then we head to Cheyenne the day after my birthday. The party is on the 19th. Very simple, we are just cooking hot dogs and hamburgers and a few sides. We are leaving here next Friday. The dogs go with us, our friend will come over twice daily to feed the cats and clean the litter boxes. I can't wait to see my beloved friends and family! I hope you aren't sick of me talking about it. My joy is overwhelming!
Lemon what great news about your Mom. You must be so relieved that she is doing so well. I am glad you told us, hopefully it will give Joan another ray of hope. I just know she will be fine.
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Big D/Joan needs a Bingo, everybody chant B-9, B-9, B-9!
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Janis, do we have the same birthday (July 18th)? My kids are all coming and I'll be cleaning and cooking and getting exhausted--you're so wise having the party elsewhere!0 -
Janis, I am so excited for your upcoming trip. It sounds like it is all going the way you had hoped. I know you are going to have a wonderful time. You will have to keep in touch with us and let us know how your party unfolds. It will be fun to hear about it.
We don't have any firm plans yet. My oldest son is going to spend time with my ex-husband and his family for a family reunion. I am gratified that those two are now making plans together. There was a large rift between them for many years. I know it is so good for my son and grandsons to know the other side of their family. I will gladly give up time with them, if it will help my son's self image. He is a very successful guy, with a good job and a beautiful new home, but a good relationship with his dad completes the picture for him. Now that my ex-husband is older, he values family more, which is fortuitous. I am willing to step back and let them have that. I have a very achey body right now. I suspect it has something to do with pushing my grandson in his wheelchair up a very steep ramp at the aquarium. He is getting to be a big guy. I am a fairly strong woman, but my poor ribs are not happy - both sides.
One way or another, we will find some lovely fireworks to watch, since DH loves those. Brookside, why is it when everyone gets together for our birthdays, we have to do so much work? Not fair. My birthday is in October.
BigD/Joan you are still very much on my mind. I hope you are doing okay and I am chanting B-9 in my head when I think of you.
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Hi everyone and thank you all so much for your beautiful words and support. I had a good long cry last night and I am still a little weepy today, but I think that is normal. I told most of my co-workers today and they are all supportive. I actually have five days left that I can get paid for. But we are small, 14 employees, so we do not have any special programs. And no, we are not allowed to save our time or donate it to others. But I should have enough money to get through this month and next month, and that will get me through the surgery and recovery time. Our disability does not kick in for 30 days so I am supposed to be back to work by then. It will be okay. Now if I get a poor diagnosis, then I will probably have to consider disability because if I miss more work, I am not sure I could come back. But one step at a time. It is normal to expect the worse, but whatever it is, I will deal with it. I can remove some money from my 401k for medical expenses and for rent only, it is called a hardship withdrawal. I will probably have to do that, because I do not have enough money to pay my out of pocket expenses for this surgery. But you know, at least it is there and although I hate to remove it, if it saves my life or gives me a little more time, then it is well worth it!
You know that having you all in here just completely warms my heart. I cry happy tears when I read your words. It means an immense amount to me. Janis, Joan, Ohio, Cindy, Diane, Lemon, MostlySew, April, Susannah, Blessedteacher, GigiL, Brookside, Josie, LiLi, RunFree, Bunkie, Kateeeeeeeeeeee, and I hope I did not leave anyone out, I love each one of you, special ladies you are, and I feel you all with me, I truly do. No others can understand like you and I am truly grateful every day that I found this special place with all of you in it.
I will let all of you know when surgery is scheduled. I do not have a laptop so I will be out of commission here until I return home, but I will probably be too drugged up anyway to be online. I have a friend who lives in my apartment complex, which is a blessing, and she will take care of my kitties and drive me to and from the hospital if needed. Another friend said she will come stay with me and sleep on the couch if I like, so I do have a couple of people I can call if necessary. I am grateful for that too.
I so love the photo of Joan and Josie!! That is so great that you two could meet. Janis called me last night so I got to talk to her and THANK YOU JANIS! It was so nice to really connect to someone from here and it was what I needed last night. I just have to say again that you all mean so much to me and it would be a lot worse if I could not come in here and share my feelings, fears, and life with you.
Yes, tonight is another Xanax night! Might be for awhile. I have not eaten since Monday, so forcing myself to eat tonight. I see my MO tomorrow for more blood work so jump in my pockets cause I am going to need you all for that! I am so looking forward to this three day weekend, are you?
Love to you all,
BigD/Joan
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Bid D. Great update, I see you're already starting to take control of this awful situation, and that's good. Scared is good too because it means you're alive and functioning! You're such a strong, positive person and I think it will help you thru all this. And, btw, it's probably lucky you haven't eaten since Monday because with all of us in your pockets tomorrow, you'll weight considerably extra when you get to the MOs. I sure hope he gets the blood work info right away so you don't have another weekend waiting.
((Hugs))
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Big D/Joan (((hugs))) Your in my prayers tonight.Please try to eat something.Sounds like your more organized than I am.Good for you have it in order.
I will be in your pocket Tommorow.
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I stayed for 1 1/2 hours over tonight and still didn't get all my benefits done.I will come in tommorow even if I don't get paid for it.Even if it's just for a few hours.
My phone calls are behind.I just got about 25 more results sent over to me to call.
Gigil, I gave that letter to my office manager.She was gone for the day by the time I got it to her.I just laid it on her desk.It took me this long to get it to her since I couldn't print it out that day before vacation.Then my hubby printed it for me but kept forgetting to give it to me.I really do appreciate it.I hope it helps.
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Good for you getting that letter to your managers, Josie; I know that wasn't easy for you. Now they'll probably invite you to tell them how committed you are to your work and give you an opportunity to hold firm on needing an additional half day every two weeks (or whenever). If they ask questions you aren't comfortable with, please remember that you can just refer them to the letter. Now, what about that other woman? You haven't mentioned her in a couple of days. Did she run screaming from the express assembly line work expectation?
Definitely with you, BigD/Joan. Here's hoping your blood test will rule out all the more icky possibilities. As I said, I'm voting for the benign whatchamacallit. One of my friends, some years ago, had something like that--a pretty huge benign tumor on her palate with a pretty huge surgery to contend with. She's just fine today.
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BROOKSIDE, the lady I trained went back to her original position in the phone room.We really haven't spoken much since.I think she's happy to not be training .It's weird they had me train her so thoroughly then just backed off and stopped the training abruptly.That leaves me feeling it was for their benefit only so if they fire me they have someone to take over that knows what's going on.Or at least kind of.
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My guess is she took one look at the workload, turned tail and bolted!
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You know Josie even though you think tthat's their plan if they were really serious about firing you why haven't they already done it? Maybe they are playing a game of chicken or who blinks first? We all know companies do that. Regardless, you are doing the best job you know how and that's all you can possibly do.
Happy 4th everyone!
Diane
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Brookside, my birthday is July 16th so we are just two days apart. For me this is the big 60. Do you know, I think this may be my 2nd birthday party in my adult life. My first DH is a geologist and we moved a lot, always far from any family. My current DH, Chuck, threw me a bash when I turned 50. That was a lot of fun. He gave me two llamas for my birthday! I have never asked for a party for myself, so it seems strange. Still, I think my BC diagnosis has made me rethink things. This is not a practical trip at all but it became apparent months ago that I really wanted to celebrate my 60th. Life as we know is both precious and fragile. This seems like a milestone well worth celebrating. Having both my sons there just melts my heart. They were estranged for some time and I never thought I would ever celebrate any event with both of them present. My sister and niece will come, and some wonderful friends. My BFF Bev is coming from Nebraska. She and I go back about 35 years. We talk frequently but I haven't seen her in 4 years. I can't wait. Then there is dear Marcia, my friend who is hosting it. She is so excited. She is very generous and would cheerfully spring for any food I requested. I want it simple, so we are keeping it to burgers and brats and a few sides. I can't stop thinking about it and I know I have trouble not talking about it! Don't want to bore you ladies to death.
You are all so supportive and generous and kind!Gigil naturally I understand that kind of estrangement and I know how much it means to have your son and ex renew their relationship. That is wonderful, and so generous of you to sacrifice your time with him to help make this possible. Family can be so complicated. I hope you have a wonderful celebration with everyone else. Sorry about your pain. You are such a wonderful grandmother!
Big D/Joan, I was so happy to talk to you the other night. You have amazing support from so many here. This is the last thread I have remained active on, just can't let go of all the amazing women here. I really enjoyed talking to you and please feel free to call me anytime. Those late night meltdowns are rough......please know even if I am asleep I will be more than happy to lend an ear, a shoulder. I don't wake up cranky so you are safe. Plus my DH understands and he would not be upset. He knows what you ladies mean to me and how very much I love to help if I am able.
Josie, sweet Josie. I hope work gets easier and attitudes at that place improve. I think you are doing all the right things and by tracking your activities you are protecting yourself. Big hugs....and you and your family have a wonderful 4th of July.
70charger......I love it. We'll chant in unison with you. B-9, B-9, B-9. Perfect!
Sew, Joan, Susannah, Big D, April, Lemon.....happy happy 4th. Cherish every moment with your loved ones.
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I ahve been reading up on everyone but have not been trying to send back notes yet. There are a few that stuck in my mind.
BigD - I am so sorry about the test results. That sounds like a lot to contend with but it does sound like you have a great DR and that is half the battle. I will be praying that it comes out good. I wish there was some other way to get around the cost of the surgery etc. When I look back on my last 3 years with my autoimmune disease and BC bills that is where the bulk of my money went. Any way you could work out a payment plan with the hospital ahead of time? If not just do what you have to do and it will somehow work out. I feel like it will be a benign tumor once they get it.
Joan and Josie - Really great picture. You are both beautiful!!! I really would love to meet up with some of you ladies at some time.
I guess we have not heard from Kate on here yet but no news is good news I hope. Miss her posts and praying she is kicking cancers butt...again.
My BT (boytoy) is on his way here next week from Cali and will be here for a few months. He is bringing his little dog and will be a big help with the house and keeping me company. I am hoping he will stay till the holidays. I will check in with a photo when he gets here if I can figure out how to post it. We have had a ton of rain this spring and summer after the wet and freezing winter. I am not loving the midwest and still trying to decide to go back to Ca or try Vegas. The only things that might get me in Vegas are July and August at temps of 110 and scorpions. They scare me really bad. I just know at 62 I have to drop this life that I took over when my parents were still alive and go get my own again.
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Janis, no need to apologize.Your just excited about your party.That's wonderful.We all need something to look forward to in life.That's what keeps us going.That's what keeps me going.Enjoy it will be here before you know it.Thanks for the encouragement.I need it.
BUNKIE, glad your going to have some company next week.Thanks for the compliment.I would to meet up with you too sometime.
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Hi y'all!
Bunkie - hee hee BT on the way:)))
Janis - Ooo who Bday girl! Sweet dreams...it will be a fun time...so make the party last.
Josie - hummm...guess the letter and the replacement realized the job is not what it seems...you enjoy the long weekend with family!
Joan - busy bee...yeah family time! Hope Arthur doesn't impact your plans.
GiGil - up&down dell pushing the wheelchair ...you go
yes, our ds need to come to terms with their dads to be good dads&hubby. Mine missed 2 Christmas to spend with his dad BVI...I was glad he chose to be the bigger man. Kate - TGIF pocket party...:D
Brookside Charger Diane - cheerleaders B9! Rah!
BigD - we tired to keep the pocket noise to a low roar {{{squeeze}. Sorry this all seems so surreal, but we are here for you...praying that all went well today and you are comfortable moving forward...xo
Today was my last of my 5 appointments...1yr on Aromasin and cholesterol is 216 (but the good is high) and 8% bone loss in spine and hips...ugh. Next Friday infusion of Zometa ...ha ha guess we will head to the beach until Friday...it's HOT here. Anyone else have these issues...?
Happy 4th to all
(((Hugs)))
Cindy
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Josie, bless your heart. You are so sweet and I know everything will be fine. Just love those children and their obviously grace and wonder at the trip meant so much to them. You really meant the world to them. Life often presents with so many different challenges. Despite all the turmoil, your are a wonderful mom and they are having a good life. Nothing is more important than raising great kids. I know how very much you love them, it shines!0 -
Janis, you brought tears to my eyes.Sometimes I don't feel like a great mom or even a good mom.I needed thing planned out for the kids this summer.But my DD and son won't go to camp.Last year we signed her up and she dropped out half way through.
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Josie - youngest son did the same thing about camp at the Community Center. You would think he was going to Leavenworth. I ended up calling all of his friends moms and family members with kids and doing swaps. Took some vacation days - as did DH. Had to work. Ended up k. Did take a family vacation too. There is no such thing as a super Mom. My mother always said being a parent didn't come with a handbook!
Diane
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