Radiation recovery
Comments
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Thank you SAB, that was just beautiful and so soothing. BigD/Joan you are holding tough. Of course there are those moments, I know, but you are one brave and strong lady and you will get through this. I am convinced if they remove the tumor you will have a long time of normal and all the time you get through in remission gives the medical community more time to refine the treatment. Thinking about you my dear and sending you positive energy daily.
Josie, sounds like a lovely 4th. I had my DH home with me for the first time in many years. He usually always works the 4th. He took this one off to be with the family for my dad's memorial service, which we had to postpone at the last minute because my brother is in Africa on business and couldn't get back unexpectedly over the holiday. The fall will be better anyway. We spent two days having dinner with my youngest sister and her entire family. It was lovely. Her SIL cooked us brisket, which I have never had. It was delicious. At one point, when we were driving home the night of the 4th, we could see the fireworks from 6 different villages on the northwest end of Minneapolis firing simultaneously. It was peaceful and lovely. We came home and played music and just sat and talked. WE haven't done that for a very long time. The TV is always cranking away in our house.
My other sister just joined her husband in Midland, TX, where he has been working for several months. He is a petroleum engineer and his work takes them all over the world. He is liking his assignment in Midland however, and they are both wanting to slow down. I think I will have to pay Texas a visit soon.
Back to reality tomorrow for some of us. I am headed to the house in the country to make the final preparations for putting it on the market. We usually don't have family together for holidays, because DH is usually working in the ER, so it was a special treat for me to live the way the rest of the world does on a holiday. Those are usually very lonely times for me. My kids spend many of them with their in law families and friends. WE always do a family Christmas, however. Thank God for that. Have a good week ladies. BigD we will be in your pocket.
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Thanks Susan - that poem was lovely
Josie - hey I love to bowl - not very good but it's fun. Sorry about your FIL. He sounds like a great guy. 11 year olds def don't need expensive phones. My daughter bought her girls 12 and 13 smart phones. Lost count the number of times they have gone over their minutes, broken the phone or lost it. What was she thinking? Too young but she never tells them no. Surprised the 4 year old doesn't have one. My youngest son has a really nice Galaxy phone but he's 24.
We had a low key holiday. Had to deal with major water leak in the house, the joys of owning a home sometimes..it's repaired and the mess is cleaned up though, Did see the fireworks in town - pretty cool!
Joan - I would have the surgery too. Praying it all goes well. I am sorry you are dealing with the C word again. Btw that video was so cool! Quite the fashion statement.
Diane
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Josie - for some reason my MO prefers Zometa...said study shows protect against bone mets...read study on this site.
I will ask his office.
Where can I purchase vit d at 5000 and ca at 1200 and mg at 600? And organic? Adding prunes... Wondering if loss is initial and then stop...I walk lift weighs pound bones...guess bad genes..l
Coin toss!
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SAB, the poem you posted is very touching. I can visualize Kate telling us these things...for some reason i was focused on her being so sick but those words made me think of her as vibrant and alive. That leaves us with a sweeter memory.
Cindy, I am sorry you are facing this bone loss issue. It sounds like your doc is proactive and that's good. It just sounds complicated. Is the Zometa a one time thing? When I read about it and the studies (since you mentioned it, I had to know) it has multiple purposes. Is your calcium testing high? I always have a hard time wondering how anyone knows how to balance these changes in our bodies after BC, AI drugs, aging, family history, etc.
Is this infusion going to be followed by a different AI drug?
Sorry for the questions...I just am not aware of how bone loss is being dealt with.
After two years on Femara, my bone loss is happening, but was slight. I am so oblivious to things I probably should prepare for.
I wish you peace in your decision. Are you planning to travel home anyway? The symptoms do not sound like they will persist for very long.BigD/Joan, the waiting is so difficult...I am glad you are feeling more clarity about your decision. Are you the type of person who wants to research and know everything? (I am) or are you more likely to process what your doc tells you?
Gigi, I am so glad you had DH around for the 4th. I had 5 of 7 grandkids here; and DD#1 from DC stayed all week end. DD#2 sent her kids to camp for 7 weeks but she came from CT to the beach. Lots of beach time, cousins playing, and fireworks...it was good. I always took it for granted when DD#3 used to rent a house for the summer here and I saw them every week end. Now that she moved to Boston area, this is my first summer without them here. To make matters worse, DD#3 and SiL are going to be separating and are already alternating week ends with the kids. He picked up the girls at our beach Saturday, mid weekend as they agreed; but DD was very annoyed (and sad) about not having them for the fireworks. This is just how it will be...I hate change. I get lonely too now that they have all moved so far. DH and my oldest grandson (who we raised) have issues and I am always in the middle of it. Tonight my grandson went out and I did not realize he would be going back to NYC...didn't say goodbye. Ouch....why can't people just get along?
OK night owls...going to try to sleep now.
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Diane, sorry about your water leak.That's no fun at all.Yes I love bowling too but I'm not good either that was the best game I've bowled in a while.
Cindy, the Health food store or maybe whole Foods? Not sure how much but D you can get w/o prescription.As far as why your dealing with Osteoporosis, part of is is the medication your on I think, also just your body type.If your petite and short your more likely to have or get Osteoporosis or bone loss.
Gigil,sounds like you had a great 4 th of July with your family.That's great your hubby was able to be home with the family.
Joan sounds like you had a great one too with the Grandkids.Beach time.Sounds great to me.Sorry about the issues between DD and her separation with her husband.
Time to get ready for work. Ugggh. Have a good day everyone.
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Big D/Joan -
I loved the video! What a talent.....and what a world!
I think (only since you ask) that I would opt for surgery as an initial course of action. I always go with my gut.....and no matter what your decision is....we will all be here supporting you!
Lisa
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Joan811, so sad about your daughter's separation. I tell you, I fear that with one of my kids, not right away, but once their kids are both in school, that 24/7 parenting calms down, and they have a chance to look at one another. I did not hear from any of my three kids this weekend, and I am ticked! One probably went to Fire Island. His wife's parents have a beach house there, and it is apparently about to be the victim of eminent domain. The powers that be (National Seashore, maybe?) will be building a super dune as protection from hurricanes and their place will be under the dune. For those of you not familiar with the area, there is no long-term guarantee thereabouts anyway. In their area, no new construction is allowed, and if a hurricane washes away the house, owners are not allowed to rebuild. Simply gone. After Sandy, some of their neighbors' houses became permanent seashore. My co-inlaws had significant damage, but were allowed to do the fixer upper stuff. I'm not sure about property values there (Joan, you may know better than I), but I imagine they're lower than other beach areas, as owning a house might be a single season investment Or less. Scary.
Other Joan, I just have to tell you that if I were having that surgery, since they'd be there anyway, I'd lobby for a bit of an eyebrow lift at the same time. My upper eyelids droop, droop, droop, and I hate it. When I had the PS consult after my BC dx, I decided to make the most of my time, and asked about an eyelid lift. He told me an eyebrow lift would fix me up very nicely. Come to think of it, I'm sure that would be what Kate would do too!
Osteopenia/porosis ladies: For several years, I've been on medication to manage gastric reflux, and always ignored its demonstrated effect on bone density. A year ago, I was just a hair from osteoporosis. Now that I'm on an AI as well (just switched from arimidex to exemestane), I'm on a biosphosphate, treadmilling 30 minutes most days, dainty-ly "doing" weights, taking calcium, and hoping a lot. Next DEXA scan will be next spring.
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Eeek, Cindy, new chant: no flu, no flu, no flu symptoms. repeat daily. Hope it works. For calcium you need the calcium citrate (the expensive calcium of course). Get the 315 mg tablets, and take 4/day. split them out over the day as your body will sluff it off rather than use it if you slug it down all at once. All pharmacies seems to carry them including costco. Work up slowly on your prunes over several days as they might affect you. I swear by those prunes for bone loss problems.
Brookside, I'm with you on the reflux meds and bone loss problems, although I already had the loss. To add to it now it looks like I'm allergic or something to the reflux med. What will my body dream up next?
Everyone, thinking of all of you.
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Sew, I had to try several reflux meds. The more usual ones made me itch, itch, itch, so, especially if your med is new, do be assured that there are other options.
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Thanks Josie, Brookside, Sew, Joan!
Just wondered how y'all could be ahead of me on HT and didn't mention issues with bone loss. Realize we are all different...maybe the hint was all the talk of acid reflux...I'm just slow...surgery & pop a pill and be all better...xo...no I'm not too blonde there's grey that just looks better in light brown dark blonde
Joan - our night owl:) not too many questions...this c and HT are just not straight forward with easy choices...always a cost benefit analysis...but there's always the unknown factors that come into play. I'm 5'5" small bone sort of boyish build...or upside down triangle ha ha. Will delay our trip home for a few days so no surprises in the sky...would hate to make the 10 o'clock news of woman freaks out on plane! Yes, have your team keep an eye on you!
Josie - thanks will head to the health food store with my list! Wish you did all our Dexa scans:))) MO is adamant that Zometa is right so Friday at 11 unless insurance company causes delay...
Brookside - weight bearing exercise...yes I gave up swimming to pound those bones...will be more careful not to cause fractures...geez this is getting complicated...care to dance!
Sew - keep chanting...no flu...gosh when the MO says you will feel like crap...what are the odds...think I will eat more this week just in case...gosh I hate to be sick. Today Costco...hubby will eat pizza or hot dog...and I will begin Ca...I bought prunes last night...ginning to be a regular thing hee hee,
BigD - hope you are making your list of questions and are coming to peace with your game plan...follow your heart super model!
GiGil - headed to TX maybe a layover in Austin? Who knows? Even are cold February is warmer than up north, but by then you are in FL celebrating! Best Wishes on getting the country home to market.
Congrats on those that spend the 4th with family... especially those grand kiddos:)))
Shout outs to all!
(((Hugs)))
Cindy
Ok, flipped the coin...tails...I put my arm out for infusion my right arm...LE in left! Y'all can be in my pocket after BigDs party...I'm a whimp:(
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Honestly, Cindy, I cannot understand why swimming doesn't count, but weight lifting does. Seems to me it's exactly the same. In my book, resistance to weights = resistance to water. Is it maybe because the spine isn't thumped about?
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Brookside - our motto pound those bones...needs the thump...also no elliptical machine...impact baby impact!
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Never thought of that, but I hate ellipticals anyway--afraid I'll fall off!
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It was quiet tonight....
So, Cindy, you have decided to stay and wait out the few days after the infusion? I assume you were heading home anyway once you feel you can fly without concern (?) You are so often on the move, and I forget which way you're heading sometimes! Count me in for the pocket parties this week.Brookside, it is tough to sit out a holiday week end with no word from your kids. It just doesn't seem right...what do they think you'd be doing? I have not heard from my DS in CA since I left on May 24th. I guess I will have to be the one to call. Reprimands surely do not work with adult children. So we paste on our smiles and behave as we'd want them to behave.
I am not that familiar with Fire Island. I always felt that the barrier beaches should not have been built upon...and that when houses are washed away they should not be rebuilt. Yes, that would affect the home values on Fire Island for sure. Our township, county and federal government spends millions maintaining the roads and dunes in the beach residential areas.I keep thinking of Kate and hoping that she did get a few cards and that she could look at them. I know that would have meant so much to her. I am thinking of her doctors and how difficult it must be for them to not have been able to help her beat this. They must have known her chances were not good, and they did let her make a number of decisions for comfort and temporary relief. It feels strange knowing I was in the area when her memorial service was held. Part of the difficulty here is the anonymity - we sometimes do not get closure. Rest in peace, Kate.
Well, tired at last and no alarm.
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RMlulu,
vit d at 5000, organic; one of many product lines available at most health food stores, check your local listings
http://www.naturesplus.com/sourceoflife/products/productDetail.php?id=30735
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Thanks Joan! Glad you'll be in my pocket Friday. MO said every 6 months Zometa infusion. The 1 st tine he said I would feel like crap and fun a fever for 3-5 days...really? Hubby just stared like you seriously are going yo do this, but bone loss is loss so infuse. I do tx in a Rancho Mirage will give myself a few days and then fly back. We have friends due in TX hill country 7/17 so cutting it very close. Have made arrangements for friends to open house if we are delayed and show them the area.
After GiGil said Kate had been through so much I read from the beginning...wow her journey was hard. I remember her saying something about an expiration...but not believing...gosh who would. Miss her spunk and teal. At USC 6/25 I wanted to call or visit and wish her Happy Bday...yes I hope she received all our cards:)
Thanks Yoga Girl...will check out the link:)
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Joan and Cindy, I thought of Kate all weekend.I think she may have been on hospice towards the end.My guess about this is because I noticed in the obituary they said " in Liu of flowers the family is requesting donations sent to a specific hospice.Sorry I can't remember the name of the hospice.If I go searching before I post this I will lose my post.
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Yes Josie, I agree that Kate probably went to hospice care when she realized nothing else could be done. She never saw her birthday unfortunately as her BD was 6/25 and she died on 6/23. But, knowing our Kate, she probably made sure she had lipstick on and was probably wearing a nice nightie rather than a johnny coat. At least I like to think that is how she passed. Sigh, she was so scared when she was going for the lung scan a year ago and then they told her that was the least of her worries and the bladder tumor was the major concern. She packed as much into this last year as she could given her limitations and I hope she did get a chance to see those cards and how much we thought of her.
Cindy, fingers crossed your bone health improves with this shot. My right hip showed mild osteopenia but so far so good. Aromasin and all of the AI's have a tendency to thin bones so hopefully they can reverse it. Keep doing the weight bearing exercises!
Hugs BigD/Joan. Just want you to know I am thinking of you.
Love you all. At work as always and need to get some work done! xoxo
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Joan - sad about your daughter's separation. My daughter has been married 3x. Speaks volumes. She has 4 kids. 2 by 1 husband. Needless to say her judgement is a bit lacking. Things do happen unfortunately but it's tough on the kids. We are blessed the kids are thriving despite all the dads. Btw I don't hear from her much either and reprimands def don't work on adult kids esp our 24 year old. My mother told me that you can't put feelings into people so I've learned to live with that with some people.
Okay you guys with bone issues. Boy can I relate. I had osteopenia before I was DX over 3 years ago and then full blown osteoporosis when I was DX. Ugh. Dr said I better get a handle on it or as he quoted to me - a fall and I won't come back from that. Gee thanks. So, I took all the meds, exercise, etc. but until I was switched to Tamoxifen my numbers didn't move much. My last bone density test however, showed dramatic improvement. So as much as I hate Tamoxifen it has done its job in that respect.
RM - I wonder if that infusion is the same thing the dr suggested I do in lieu of meds- 2x a year@1200 a pop? We have insurance but too pricey for me. Still would have been nice - 1 less med.
Joan - I thought about Kate's last days 2. I can't imagine being the dr who had to tell her and her family there was nothing more they could do. One of my best friends died years ago and I recall them saying those very words. There is no easy way to tell them and no easy way to hear them. You know if you are so sick and in pain like she was you have to believe she had had enough. No quality of life left. For me that's when you draw the line. Josie, that is what it said - hospice and we all know typically what that means. I was hoping it was more of a rehab center than a hospice. Unfortunately, I have had several bedside vigils with family members.
My nephew just got engaged. He lives in Chicago. I remember exchanging posts about Chicago with Kate. She also said I was blessed to have such a large family. Sometimes it is, other times not so much.
Diane
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It's a hazy morning with a cool but humid breeze. I'm out on my deck with coffee and loving the no-rush time. I'm watching honey bees work the flower boxes and birds at the feeders.
Beach walk, plant a flower box, hang solar lights...
Finding me again and I am very grateful for this time.After a few more days of this, I'll probably start getting busy
Wishing you some peaceful moments in your day.0 -
april, Diane, our posts crossed in cyber space.
I am glad to hear that others are thinking about Kate's journey. It is how it goes, even here...we grieve as a family, then in our own personal space. If her family members have found us here, I hope they know we are thinking of them. They may be surprised at how strong and independent she was; and how she wanted to believe she would be well...I suspect she may have spared her family from details of her suffering.Diane, it is so difficult to stand by and watch our children evolve in a different generation with short attention span. My three daughters were married within 2 years and the babies came soon after...it was the happiest time of my life after having my own children. DD#2 divorced first; now DD#3 is structuring the separation. I strive to make new memories with my grandkids and to help them feel secure. When my older grandkids came last year (10,8) they sat with us for every meal. It allowed me to sit and engage with them. I remember that most. Then, of course, they acted up just like any brother and sister. But I remember the positive and I hope they do too. I hope I live long enough to see my sons happy - maybe even another grandchild or two.
I don't like change but I do think there are more happy times ahead.
We soar on the mountaintops, but we grow in the valleys of our lives.0 -
Cindy....you get the summertime reading award. You went back to the beginning when we were all just getting over the effects of rads? And shortly thereafter Kate went for her first reconstruction surgery? All 361 pages? You have way too much time on your hands girl.
All, by the way, with Hospice here in California anyway they come and care for you in your own home. At least I don't think you can have hospice care in a rehab type place. So, I expect Kate went to rehab to try to get thru chemo, but probably decided it wasn't working well or more things went wrong, and she gave up on the chemo and went home with Hospice care. I prefer to think she got to be at home. Hopefully all the cards were forwarded to her there. Or, it could be that the nurse that used to come and check on her after her bladder surgery was a hospice nurse. There are probably many reasons the family wanted donations to Hospice not to mention they are such a wonderful organization.
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Ladies, I have been chaplain to hospice patients (one lovely room in my little local hospital, with a room immediately next door for family to rest or stay over), and, whether in hospital, home, or wherever, the objective is comfort--body, mind, spirit. Wherever Kate chose to end her life, they would have been sure she was as peaceful as she could possibly be. Truly, some people prefer to be at home, some absolutely want to be in a hospital or care facility. Some want family around, others prefer to be alone. Truly. I am sure our strong-willed Kate was exactly where she wanted to be. I, for one, sent my card rather late. I included a return address, so, as the card was not returned, I am confident that she received, and appreciated, all our thoughts and prayers.
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Susan thank you for the poem. I have heard it before and it is beautiful, comforting. I suspect that Kate knew how bad she was despite putting on such a brave face here. She really needed that trip to Chicago to be with her family one last time. I think it took a huge amount of both physical and emotional strength for her to make that journey. Once completed I believe she knew her time on this earth was running out. I know how much her family meant to her and I really think she stayed strong just to make the trip. Once done, I do believe she was ready to let go. She suffered so much with the leg swelling and all of the pain. We may never know the details of those last days, but I believe she went peacefully. I think she was ready.
Joan I am so happy you are finding some time to sit back and smell the roses. You work and push so hard and you so deserve some peace and serenity. Embrace it, and all the summer has to offer to you and your family. You are so lucky to have them and they are lucky to have you. I so envy you being near enough to see them often.
Gigil, your weekend sounds amazing. I teared up reading about your evening with DH and no TV. Just special quiet time you both clearly enjoyed. It was a beautiful recollection and I am thrilled you were able to have that quiet time together. You have an amazing and loving family.
Diane our holiday was very quiet too. It didn't involve a major water leak. Yikes, timing right? Glad you got that taken care of and you didn't have a lot of damage to deal with.
Cindy count me in for your Friday pocket party. I will be on the road, but you will be in my thoughts. I so hope the infusion goes well and you don't have any ill effects. Good luck Sweetie, I have a good feeling it will go well for you.
Brookside I am sorry your kids didn't contact you over the weekend. Mine didn't either, but they don't call often. I have two sons. Adam is 35 and Ryan is almost 38. They just recently began speaking after a couple years of silence. Long story and always breaks my heart. They will both be at my birthday picnic and I am excited to see them both. I am actually staying with Adam and his wife Jen for a few days before we go to Cheyenne. We are bringing the 'boyz', our two Golden Retrievers. Adam and Jen also have two Golden's so it will be interesting to see how they all get along.
Sew, just wanted to say hello and send you a ton of hugs. You always give wonderful advice and are so warm and welcoming to the newbies. I am proud to call you my friend.
We are getting ready for the trip and getting so excited. I haven't even packed yet. I need the clothes I am taking! We are hauling our camper so worked on it and got it ready. We haven't used it in four years, and it just needed basically a good dusting and of course flushing the lines since we keep it winterized. We got the oil changed in the truck, so it is all ready. Tomorrow we bathe the boyz, do some more laundry and start packing I think. We are planning to leave very early Friday morning, no later than 5:00 but possibly earlier. I rarely sleep before a trip so I expect we may go earlier. Our neighbor and friend Kay is taking care of the three kitties. Not too difficult, they get fed canned food twice a day and dry is always available. We scoop the litter boxes (we have four) twice daily. Also they drink from glasses in the bathrooms so those need filling daily. We are just a tad anal about our animals! They will be very lonely but safe, which is what matters most. Two of our cats are very family oriented, they are like little dogs following us all over. Pistol, my silly male, loves that camper and hung out with us when we cleaned it. Bella even came in for a visit. Poppy is timid and will probably handle the separation easily. Kay loves the cats and I think both Pistol and Bella will get some quality ear rubs!
Take care my friends and enjoy your days!
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Hi,
I have been offline for several days and just catching up. So sorry to read the news about Kate and although I have not been out here very long, from what I have read in all the various threads, I am positive Kate knows how much she means to all of you. I speak of her in present tense because my beliefs are that loved ones never really leave, physically yes but they are still with us in energy and spirit. I have experienced so much from loss that I am 100% confident in my belief.
Hospice is amazing - Brookside is correct. I have experienced both home and facility hospice and I cannot say enough about the dedication and caring I witnessed - my dad was home hospice and Jim (husband) - both of his parents were facility hospice.
Donna
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Thanks Janis - a water leak is so lame compared to what others are dealing with. I seem to get so worked up over everything these days. Def need to chill.
Joan - it is hard. My 13 year old granddaughter told my DH she wasn't looking forward to her mother's ongoing drama this summer. She is a drama queen. Sometimes I wish we lived closer - they like n Chattanooga which is about 5 hours or so from us and other times I am thankful we don't. More stress we don't need.
My father died in the hospital the day Hospice was scheduled to visit my parent's house. I think for him it was a blessing not to die at home. My friend's husband died at the hospice facility. It was a beautiful place. She wanted to take him home but the doctors strongly against it. He had an inoperable brain tumor.
Cindy - I came on this site after Kate had reconstruction and the lung scan. She had just found out about the bladder cancer when I started posting. I recall how upset she was for obvious reasons and how frustrated she was that no lawyer would take her case for the missed DX. Someone recommended a lawyer but apparently the attorney, because of her age she thought, wouldn't take her case. I thought at the time and esp now where was/is the justice in all of this. I know it's a moot point but it still bothers me. She might have dodged all the pain and suffering she endured. Doctors make mistakes because they are human but shouldn't they still be accountable?
I'm working on coming to terms with her passing. There have been too many losses of late.
Diane
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Janis, sounds like youll be on the road soon.Do the dogs travel well? Do you leave this Friday? I thought you said July 18th.Your kitties sound spoiled.
Joan, enjoy your peace and relaxation.You deserve it.Sounds wonderful.
Brookside,Sew,Dogsneverlie,Diane thanks for sharing your hospice stories.I hope it was that pleasant for Kate.
Unfortunately I didn't have that warm and fuzzy experience when my husband s grandmother died and was put on hospice in the nursing home.They took her off all IV fluids and essentially she dehydrated to death.She had had a stroke and had signed a release long before stating no feeding tube.Well she didn't realize what a horrible way to die that would be.My MIL was offered the chance to over rule it and have a feeding tube placed but was discouraged because they were afraid she wouldn't survive the procedure.I clearly disagreed with that and refused to visit her in hospice.It was hard enough to be there while she was begging to eat.Saying how hungry she was.I'm sorry I guess I still have feelings about that.I'm sure it isn't always like that.But aren't they supposed to make the patient as comfortable as possible? Never mind the fact she was 101 yrs old.And was in pretty good health before the stroke.I miss her.Sorry I'll shut up now.I hope I didn't offend anyone.
Had a lot of yard work to do today.Mowing the lawn, pulling weeds,trimming around the garage.My goal is to get my patio all cleaned up and weed free so I can maybe have family over around my B day.But didn't anticipate the old Weber grill that I moved was full of bees.It's just a miracle they didn't sting me.
I'm having more dental work done Aug 4 .They will pull the rest of my existing teeth on the bottom(except 2).I'm a big chicken and literally need DH to be in the room rubbing my leg while the dental assistant held my hand when my upper teeth were pulled in 2012. That was before my BC diagnosis.My lower plate will be immediately placed in my mouth afterwards.But usually it will take about 2 weeks before I can eat real food without pain.
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Josie, your grandmother's experience sounds perfectly horrid, possibly even more so for you and your family than for her. Do I understand that she was alert and aware, and wanted to eat, but was unable to swallow? It certainly seems they could have done something for her (and for the rest of you as well). Good luck with the tooth extractions and the new choppers. Perhaps while you wait for everything to settle, you can enjoy lots of milkshakes, ice cream sundaes, and all the other goodies you would normally avoid.
BigD, didn't you have a blood test scheduled today? Or am I still on last week's calendar?
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End of life care is something we experienced recently with my dad. He had the choice of Hospice at his home, or going to a suite attached to the nursing home, which was also attached to the hospital. He chose that option. At that point, I don't think he really knew what he was agreeing to. He was very hard of hearing. He was not very happy there at first, and wanted to change his mind. However it was a lovely two room suite and we were able to be there with him. It was stocked with snacks, and there was a chaplain on duty that catered to his and our every need.
She was a very kind lady, and I know my sister and brother were very grateful for her presence. I am more private, so although I respected their need for her, I would have been happier with more private time. She was maybe doing her job a bit too much for me. I have always been that way. I rely on myself more than others. I sometimes wonder if that is a failing - something I need to work on.
Dad was so interesting during his last two days. The first day he was on his back, but very much with it. He couldn't eat, but managed to drink water. He dozed some as he was drugged for comfort. He always had the most fabulous sense of humor. He joked around a lot, and even mentioned seeing his old friend, who had passed before him. At one point my niece was very close to his face when he was sleeping. I think she was worried he wasn't breathing. He opened his eyes suddenly and said, "Boo!" Needless to say it scared her half to death and brought much laughter and levity to the room. He was so good that way!
We had the most wonderful day with him, talking, singing,reminiscing and both laughing and crying. The second day, he was more out of it, as his leukemia was taking him quickly. He lay peacefully, and now and again when someone came near, he would talk to them a little. That night he slipped into sleep while my brother sat next to his bed. I had gone home to get some rest and one of my sisters was on the couch in the adjoining room. My other sister was not in town, as she was helping her daughter after a C-section.
Dad quietly slipped away peacefully in his sleep, as I promised him he would. His dying experience was both beautiful and empowering to all of us. He made his last year and his last days that way for us. He was an amazing man. I hope things were that peaceful and beautiful for Kate. I am so glad to know it can be that way. I will never forget it. Dad brought us through it, in his own wonderful way.
Brookside, my kids didn't call me over the 4th either. I get a bit discouraged about that, but my husband chooses to believe we have made them strong, independent people who don't need us anymore. They are so wrapped up in their own lives, they forget that we might be lonely and be needing their company now and again. I am not quite as easy with it. It happens on too many holidays. I could always invite myself into their celebrations, but I never will. I was grateful this year to be with my DH and my sister and her family.
Janis, you have a wonderful time. It is fun hearing about your plans and preparations. I hope you can keep us updated on your travel and fun.
Joan, so glad you are getting some "me" time. You have been hitting it pretty hard lately. You deserve some time to re-group and get back to yourself.
Diane, don't despair about your daughter. I was married early and made a couple of other ill-conceived decisions when I was a young woman. I got it all figured out for myself, finished my bachelor's degree and went on to law school. During this time I met the right person for me, although it wasn't perfect right away. We have been married for 34 years now. It is easy when you are young to write off a bad relationship and move on. If I could give anyone any advice about that, it would be to spend at least a year alone after a break up, before getting involved with someone new. I gave my own sons that advice, but they didn't take it. My daughter has been married to the same man for 14 years, although they had a rocky time awhile back. I encouraged her to ride it out. No person is perfect and if you leave what you've built, the next one won't be perfect either. The only exception is alcoholism, drug abuse or physical abuse, when the other person refuses to work on it. As we get older, we realize that. I hate divorce when kids are involved. They always suffer, don't they? Thank God my daughter did take my advice. So far so good. She is married to a very decent man with lots of integrity.
Cindy, I will be jumping around in your pocket too. You are such a champ, I know you will get through that infusion and not let it slow you down very much, if at all.
Back at the country house, fixing to get things done. DH scared me a bit today with a few minutes of hypoglycemia. He is always trying to diet, and this one is really a bummer. I think he is convinced it is not a good one for him. I have never looked at this man and thought he looked that much overweight. He is very attractive, but he is used to an athletic build. I think sometimes guys like that have the most trouble with aging. I hope this is it for drastic weight loss plans. I can't take that kind of stress!! We were in the grocery store and he was perspiring so hard, his shirt was getting wet and he had standing water on his skin!! He bought a candy bar, ate it, and snapped out of it. UGH!!
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Gigil, I'm so glad your husband was able to celebrate the 4th with you. I'd never thought of it before (why would I?), but ER docs and staff must view holidays differently that the rest of us. Rather than freedom, relaxation, family, and feast, with all the accompanying joys and arguments and all, for them, it's Illness and injury, stress and adrenalin. I'm glad he had the opportunity to relax and enjoy himself for once. Perhaps he'll do it again soon?
I'm a bit concerned about the kids not calling. I was a girl, of course, and an only child. Every week, I loaded screaming children into the car and drove 45 minutes to see my parents, and make it possible for the boys to know them, and for them to know the boys.. Weekends, I'm pretty sure we almost always shared a meal with my husband's parents. Now, my three boys (ages 33 - 39) are so busy with their lives, they can't pick up the phone? I'm particularly disappointed because my birthday is in two weeks and I basically had to twist arms to get them all to agree to come here. I'm having a bone scan on Thursday, which will probably be perfectly normal, of course, but then again, maybe not. And on top of everything, my BFF's husband just moved out today. She's a wreck and I (having been through the same thing a couple of years ago) have to be strong for her. Gee whiz: I guess I have a lot going on--no wonder I'm on a rampage here!
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