Radiation recovery
Comments
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thanks Diane,
sorry for the confusion but my MIL was the sick one. My SIL ws thankful because I was on it and called her when I realized how sick she really was. She didnt even want to go to urgent care. My MIL is very stubborn but remained acting very sluggish and her BP was very low due to the dehydration. So we pretty much forced her to go to urgent care.
Shes all better now though
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Oh okay so glad she’s better Josie. I’m glad you guys insisted she go.
Diane
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So nice to hear from you, Joan and Josie! I've been waiting for updates from both of you and am happy things seem to be working well. Sounds as though the chemo is going about as well as possible, Joan, and the MIL house as well, Josie.
Joan, I'm excited that you're trying the keep-your-hair chemo approach. You have such lovely, thick, thick, thick hair that it will take a lot of thinning before anyone who doesn't know you would even guess. Maybe even those who do know you!
That swinging bathroom door would drive me absolutely nuts, Josie. After a couple of surprise visits, i think I'd have the thing alarmed and barricaded! I'm glad your girls and grands are doing well.
All those grandchildren are so adorable, Josie and Diane. You are both so lucky to have them so nearby. And so are they!
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Aww thanks Brookside,
funny thing is my mother in law and my husband and I share a wall+door but we each have our own bathrooms. She just likes to cut through our bedroom sometimes. I hve more respect for her than that and would'nt think of doing that to her. The bedroom she has is really an addition to the house they put on when her mother moved in with them about 9 or 10 yers ago. After she passed my in laws moved into that bedroom which is twice the size of our bedroom with their own bathroom and walk in closet. Our bedroom has a door to the bathroom but anyone else in the house can use that bathroom too by using a seprate door opening into the hallway.
Our dog got loose about 2-3 weeks ago and we had a hard time catching her. My mother in law was opening the back door to let her dog in and lacey ran between her legs. She is impossible to catch because its like a game to her. Of course if you chase her she runs further but also she hates bikes and joggers and like to herd them. As I came out the front door I saw Lacey and this neighbor up the street was cutting his grass.She almost started up the street after him but I couldnt take a chance and made anouther step towards her which meant in her mind ok mom lets go get that guy with the lawnmower. She ran up behind him and grabbed at his pantlegs. Probably ripped it a little when he swung around. I asked if he was ok and he confirmed it was nit bite just his pantleg. But his neighbor got involved and as I ran past them and continued to try and wrangle her. They conversed and I guess watched us keep trying to catch her and decided to call the police on us. Of course my hubands uncle is the police chief but they had to at least give us a warning. This was just a horrible scarry thing for me. My hubby was so upset that he even commented he had thoughtvof even putting he to sleep. What a disaster. But he was just mad at the time. We did agree that we should be at least talking to a trainer.I called one but he wanted like $750 for like 3 months of in home visits
and he wanted it in 2 payments. We were like Uhhhh nooo... So I decided really she needed to have a litte more obiedence than she has. When we open the back door to et her out she pulls on her collar and if we lost our grip she would be gone. So I decided to starr inplamenting more obedience training with her. She now has to sit and stay as I open the door to grab her lease. If she gets up when I turn around with the leash in my hand I close the door correct her and she sits again. We should of done this from the begining. She is much better with much less of a chance of her escaping.
Sorry this post is so long
Love Josie
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No worries about a lengthy post Josie. I bet you guys were scared. That’s a good idea to make herwait before you take her out and make her sit. They are a little less anxious that way. We had to do the same thing with our dog. They just get so excited about getting out. Does your MIL have a fenced in yard?
I know it’s your MIL’s house but it seems like you and your husband should be in the bigger room. Again it’s her house just wondering. Maybe your husband could talk to his mother about knocking, etc. might be easier coming from him.
We are blessed our grandsons live close. It’s a win-win for them and us!
Diane
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Josie, can you just leave the door permanently locked? If not, can you lean something against that door? Something like an ironing board or folded clothes drying rack or a framed poster? Something that will make a racket if she opens the door, or a mess, or both? Maybe you could get into the habit of leaving your coffee there? I'm thinking that after a couple of times, she'll use her own door. You could also put a dresser or some such there, but that might just annoy her.
I had a similar problem with my dog. He just would not listen. I was mortified when a bicycle race went by the house. He ran along beside the bikes, weaving and turning, and barking, scaring everyone, myself included, while i ran back and forth like an idiot, unable to catch him. When the bikes had gone by, I breathed a sigh of relief. Another heat came by. Same dog, same result. And that was not the last group. To this day, I have never seen another bicycle race go by. Thanks a lot, Spot!
The solution I found for outdoor behavior when he was off the leash was a shock collar. You can adjust the zap so it gets their attention, but does not hurt. You do have to train them that the collar means, "Listen to Mommy," or they'll maybe think the bike or lawnmover man did it, but it helped us a lot.
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Diane,
Yes she should knock but not sure if so can ever get her to do that. No we cannot suggest we get the bigger room. This is her house and we wouldn’t ask her to give us her bedroom. She doesn’t have a fence. They took it down years ago.They hace invisible fence and we tried that unsucessfully with Lcey. She broke right through it. Now we have her on a cable and I leave the end of the leash as close to the back door as I can.
Brookside,
Great story about the bikes. That will teach them to ride past your house.
Great ideas about the door. Ill just probably try to keep it locked when I undress or whatever.
Hey has anyone else been hurting lately ?
For the last 2 nights Ive been having trouble sleeping due to hip pain and apparently now I have tennis elbow. But too stubborn to do the exeecises and no prednisone for me due to it making me like manic. And Im not even Bipolar, also it gave me hives. I see my oncologist Feb 13 and hopefully she has answers
Josi
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Ouch Josie. I do have hip pain that can be really brutal but it’s because I have osteoporosis. Ugh. I’m glad you are seeing your oncologist. Hopefully you’ll get some answers and relief.
I know it would be presumptuous to trade rooms with your MIL. It is her house I was just wondering.
Brookside. That’s scary with your dog and the bicycle race. I’m sure ours would do the same thing.
Stay warm guys. Weather is brutally cold here but other parts of the country are a lot worse.
Diane
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The invisible fence didn't work for us either. I spent a hours training the dog to recognize the flags that marked the wire, and he was OK with them. Then a biker went by and he just blasted through the fence. The problem was that he could not get back in as the wire works in both directions.
Yes, I've had pain lately. I complained about neck pain when I saw my oncologis a few months ago and he prescribed physical therapy which worked wonders. No sooner had I finished with that round of PT, but my lower back became an issue and I've just finished PT for that too. Now it's my knee.
I think most hip things can be helped by loading up the anti-inflammatories, or by ice or heat or both. And maybe stretching? Anyway, when you see your onc, I'd certainly ask about PT.
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Brookside,
Pain is better now that our weather has come in. But kind of overslept today. Late for work. Probably due to the fact I actually avoided that Dr Pepper in the afternoon and I had had 2 nights of not sleeping well.
Joai
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Interesting, Josie, how things go around and around. Your MIL added the extra room for her mother (Or was it MIL?), and now she's in the new suite and you're in the old master bedroom.
Now that you're all settled in to the new arrangement, I'm hoping it feels like home, both to you and to MIL. From the point of view of this MIL,, I'd say she's pretty lucky to have you and hubby there, especially as it's not that long since her husband died. It will be great if you can stay there for a nice long time, piling up money for retirement or old bills, or whatever.
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I agree Josie your MIL is lucky to have you guys there. It’s a win-win for her and you. Our DS moved out and back in and out again but we were glad we had a home for him to go to. He’s better off now - growing up - and we are too because it affords us the privacy we needed. He knows though if things go south he can come home again. That’s what families do.
Diane
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Yes, it is a good thing we have a nice place to live. We have settled into a routine and she cooks every night for us keeps up with the laundry. We do the chores she asks us to do on the weekend.
And of course we watch his youngest brother Matt when she needs us to. And are there for her when she needs us to help her lift him etc.
But I would really like to find a rental but haven’t had the money yet. We pay $600 a month to her tolive there. It’s supposed to help with the house payment and some bills. They eat a lot better than they did when We weren’t living there. It’s kind of impossible to separate our food. But it all works out in the end I guess.
Josi
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I know you want your own place, Josie and you will eventually but it sounds like it’s okay living there at least for the time being.
My son rents a 3 bedroom house for $1000. He converted one room for his office. The twins have their own room and he has his. It’s a nice house with a big backyard. It’s not in the high rent district but it’s decent. His X-GFF is renting a house in a different part of town that is more than that. In Collierville where I live rentals are $1300-1800 and up. Ridiculous. DS is going to move when his lease is up in July probably to East Memphis. At least that’s the plan.
Have a good week!
Diane
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Diane,
Yes your right living here is ok for now and face it my mother in law needs us. But I would eventually love to have our own home again.
Josie
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Happy Valentine’s Day ladies!
It’s my Mom’s birthday too. She died in 2006. I miss her so much. It was one of her fav holidays because she got double presents - Valentine’s Day and her birthday. She never failed to give us Russell Stover chocolate hearts for Valentine’s Day. Yum!
Husband bought beautiful flowers and cards. He’s so thoughtful. I told him no candy because I have eaten way too many sugary things lately.
Of course I bought the twins Valentine’s candy..several times before today. My sister sent VD shirts for them. Too cute
Have a good week!
Diane
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Hi everyone,
Just checking in...it's been quiet here this winter! And what a winter it has been.
I have not seen much snow, but it has been quite cold for days on end.
I am sorry to appear and disappear. It is hard to focus and keep up with anything for a long time.
I am happy to report that I only have three more weeks to go for chemo. I never thought I would be thinking about looking back on all this. I have done pretty well. It is weekly, so I never get to recover fully. And now the effects seem to be accumulating. But I am sure I can do it.
After this I will have a recovery period and then, I have decided to go back to work for a few weeks. The work year ends June 15th, and I hope to return by May 1st. When I go back, I will decide if I want to retire this summer or go back for the fall semester and retire in January. I will see how my recovery goes. I have my reasons to go back, and financial is one of them. Being home alone for six months has been very quiet and a bit lonely. I like my job. However, I went back last Friday (first time in 6 months) to meet some friends for breakfast. I ended up staying all day to clean my office which was left in total disarray (by me).
The guys I work with are dismantling the room where I do my work and re-purposing the room...never told me a thing, and threw away a lot of things I valued or use or own. I came home that day very upset and it just kept getting worse. Last night I sent them an email and my heart was racing and I realized how much stress I was allowing in my life by caring.
So I will go in once more, take what's mine and secure it somewhere, and then let it all go.
I don't care what happens when I go back...if they take my work space away then I will just sit in my beautiful office all day.
They don't want me to come back....but I am going to as long as I feel OK.
There is not much going on here...I do get out a few days a week, am driving, meeting friends, and can always eat and enjoy it.
There are days when I just hang out at home and rest.I did read some of your adventures in the recent posts.
Josie, hang in there...make the best of it and keep setting boundaries where you can! Your granddaughters are beautiful.
Diane, your grandsons are adorable and so big! You are so supportive of your son, and it is all for a very good bigger cause...
We raised our daughter's son through college and I have no regrets. He is 28 now and on his own, has a good job, a beautiful girlfriend who is a hard worker and nice person, and he has talents and hobbies that enrich their lives. I could not have asked for more. He has told me that he gets his sense of adventure and interest in so many things from me. That touched my heart.
It was worth it.
Brookside, I am sorry to hear about your migrating aches and pains! Not fair...I hope you can get the discomfort under control.
I hope you can keep moving through it all! How old are your grandkids now?
Sending best wishes to everyone who is checking in here. Thanks for the good thoughts! I am doing well. I have a surgeon appointment in two weeks, and update with oncologist in three. After I'm done, I will see a doctor every 3 months.
Stay warm and safe...
Love & hugs,
JoanPS - I still have my hair but it is thinning a lot in the top and upper back. Overall, the cold cap is working. Of course, I started with a lot of hair!
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Hi Joan,
How good to hear from you. I've been thinking of you but didn't have a good way to reach you. WOW, you're almost done! Good for you. This has been a long, tough road for you and I'm so glad you're just about finished. I guess I'm not surprised you were a bit lonely these last 6 months because you were sort of "in transition" I would think......not yet healthy, facing chemo with no idea of how your body would respond, not able to set up any long term commitments, like volunteering or mentoring or working in the library or just so many fun things, but rather just working on getting thru it. Cancer is a long, tough, lonely road isn't it. Now you're free (or almost). I can understand wanting to go back to work for a bit, just to finish up. I also understand grieving at the loss of some of your personal items, but that stress really isn't particularly good so I'm especially glad you've decided to just let it go. In the long run that's all you can do really as they can't retrieve the items you lost. And your health and happiness is much more valuable than the mementos, special as they were.
Things here have been fine for my health this past year, but we're now facing some family health problems. My sister-in-law had to have a mastectomy on the breast that she had the original cancer. It's been 5 years since her first treatment (was diagnosed 2 weeks after my brother died) and she went thru lumpectomy, radiation and chemo that time. There isn't a good cancer center in her town in Iowa, so she's driving 5 hours to the Mayo clinic in Rochester, MN. She's just started her chemo (4 rounds, every 3 weeks) and it's hitting her hard. Severe bone pain, her finger nails are taking a hard hit and will probably be gone in another week or so or after the next round, and she's very nauseous even with all the anti-nausea drugs. She's tough and will get thru it but I think it will be tough for her. They are still considering radiation on the lymph glands and she'll find that out mid-march.
Than there's my mom. My sister has relinquished all responsibilities for her as her husband is stage 4 cancer himself and failing. I had to move Mom to a new facility over thanksgiving which was very stressful but she was no longer safe where she'd lived for the past 6 years and they refused to let her stay. It was a quickly put together move I must say. Anyway, trouper that she is even at over 100, Mom managed to make the depressing move without falling apart and was doing pretty darn well until last Thursday. She has stopped eating and her breathing is very labored (congestive heart failure). Hospice says she is "transitioning". It's hard to see, but she doesn't complain of any pain, will still smile and respond, has very little memory of her past life but does not have Alzheimers, just a dementia. The new facility is very caring and have lots of carers for the residents. It's a "memory care" facility so they know how to handle this. They get her up daily even though left to her own devices I think she would just sleep all day. They do that because she will wake up and try to get up on her own and then fall. But it's better for her to be out with everyone else and relating to everyone (when she's awake).
So, that's my long story. I'm so glad to hear from you Joan, and everyone else who has been posting. I don't often post, but I do lurk.Keep on trucking on everyone
Mostly Sew in Northern California who's going to go out and see just how bad the flooding is around here.
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Glad to hear from you guys but so sorry you both are going through troubled times.
Joan - you are such a warrior dealing with this insidious disease again. I hope your last chemo treatments go well. I agree with Sew about your personal things from work because you can’t get them back but it’s still inconsiderate and insensitive of them to take them. I would probably go back temporarily too and then retire. I’m advising that when I didn’t do that with my job at FedEx. The stress and travel was just too much. Financially it was a good decision because I was only PT. I couldn’t work FT there because I was already getting an early retirement check from another FedEx company and my hours were restricted. I do miss the work but not the drama.
That’s awesome about how well that young man has turned out. You did a good job raising him and now it shows.
I know you are used to constantly going and doing so I sure being solitary was difficult. I like my solitude sometimes but not everyday.
Sew- wow your mom is over 100. Amazing. Sorry she had to be moved but at least it’s to a caring facility. You hear so many horror stories about those facilities it’s nice to hear positive things.
I feel for your SIL. 5 years and you think okay maybe that milestone is a positive sign. At least she is getting care from a clinic like Mayo. I can’t imagine though enduring the process all over again complete with those horrific side effects and traveling so far on top of that. I’m beginning to think they will never find a cure.
Sorry for your sister too. It has to be so devastating for her watching him suffer and of course her husband being DX Stage IV.
We have drama going on but nothing compared to what the both of you are dealing with. I’m praying for you both and your families.
Please stay in touch when you can.
Diane
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Hello! Just stopping in to catch up and I hope things are going well. I know, of course that there are many difficulties to deal with and am keeping you in my thoughts. I am havung a good year so far. I am now om the sixth minth schedule with my MO; as reports were good in October, I do not see her again until May. The only thing of concern was that my blood calcium levels were high, and she was going to order a parathyroid scan, but as I have not heard anything more about it, I am assuming that she has decided it was not necessary. I have promised myself I will not worry About things until it is time to do it.
To break up the winter minths, we went travelling. We have just come back from eight days in Mexico, and had a very nice quiet holiday. We got an aparthotel so could supplement meals out with our own cooking. We didn’t do any touring, but went for long walks and had naos every day. I am thinking it will be our last trip, as my husband no longer feels able. He will be 75 next month and that seems to have convinced him that he is “too old”. He does have some health issues and looks at them from the point of view that things couldn’t get any worse. Hopefully, spring weather will brighten hus spirits.
Take care; I will try not to let so much time go by. Hugs
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Thanks for checking in Nancy. I hope things go well at your next appointment.
My husband and I aren’t in our 70s but we don’t travel a lot. We kind of homebodies. We have had 3 family weddings in 3 different states and 2 graduations as well high school and college. We do go to Notre Dame football games because we are both big fans - me in particular. It’s a beautiful campus to visit and I serve in the local ND Board.
My sister and BIL celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary this year. They live in Georgia but the party is planned for New Orleans. Should be fun!
I’ll be glad when the winter months are gone. Ready for Spring.
Take care.
Diane
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Hi everyone,
Joan, it sounds like your doing well considering. I’m sorry they did that to your workspace.Actually that sounds really familiar to something that was done to me by one of my coworkers at another job. It was awful. I was so happy to hear from you again. (((Hugs)))
Nancy ,
I’m sorry your husband feels like that he’s getting to old to travel. Some people just don’t enjoy it as they get older. My uncle on the other hand traveled to pikes peak last year with his son and daughter . Unbelievable he’s like 95.
Sew,
I’m sorry your mother was moved to the home. But 100 yrs old that’s great. Prayers for your SIL and your sisters husband.
Much more drama here in my life but nothing compares to what everyone else has going. I went to my oncologist a few weeks ago. She said all was ok and she wants to see me yearly. I felt like she was treating me like some kind of hypochondriac when I complained of my arm pain and all she could say was that she didn’t think it was cancer related and she is no expert on arms so maybe I should see a orthopedic Dr. My vitamin D level is like 16 and it should be 24-30 so I’m very low. I started back on my 50,000 IU weekly.
My mother in law had a littleoutburst again last week of course it was a “”I forgot my meds day for her” she flipped out and called my daughter some names she cannot take back . I was in shock and infuriated luckily Claire wasn’t home at this point. After that I could not help telling my husband goodbye and he would be lucky If I came home after we. He knows I would never leave but wish I could. Grrrr.
Claire doesn’t want to be home due to her Grandmas attitude. But she fuels the situation by being gone at her boyfriends all the time. And comes back with her own attitude.
Sorry I guess I am over sharing again.
Josi
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Josie - good to hear from you. So sorry about your MIL and Claire. Idk if it’s her meds or not but I can tell you when my husband doesn’t take his he is not fun to be around. He has outbursts too and I’ve told him he needs an attitude adjustment. Basically I ignore him. He absolutely has to take his meds they are mood stabilizers. He has depression issues. So he is a lot more diligent about it now.
I’m sure it’s especially uncomfortable since you live in her house. That doesn’t mean however it’s okay for her to say the things she did/does about your daughter. Even if it’s not intentional you are right you can’t take the comments back - only do better. So she has said these things to Claire’s face before? I’m sure that was hurtful. I would try and explain her medical issues w/o meds to Claire. That’s all you can do for now.
I had something similar with my MIL except it was directed at me but we didn’t live in the same house fortunately. My husband would let it go but I had had enough and I let her know in no uncertain terms. She never did it again.
We have our drama here too. Last night my grandsons mother checked herself in a mental facility. Idk details yet except our son has the twins FT until further notice. Her 2 girls are staying with her sister. She is beyond stressed but idk what triggered the decision yesterday. My son said she has been making bad decisions. Regardless it’s a move apparently she needed to make. I’m praying she gets better. Meanwhile my husband and I and my friend are picking up the slack watching the twins. My son has to work, etc. It’s going to be hard on the children - especially the girls. The twins spend so much time with our son and they are only 3 so hopefully it won’t be as tough on them.
So trying real hard to keep the faith right now. You do the same Josie.
Diane
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Diane,
Thanks so much I know it has been tough. But I sat down with my mother in law last night and she admitted she was wrong when she got mad and called her granddaughter a really awful name that I won’t repeat. She admitted she loves her or she wouldn’t have reacted to her abcense from school and such so strongly andbis afraid she is wasting her life with her boyfriend and doesn’t understand why we allow her to be with him so much.
I’m sorry to hear about your sons situation but at least she is getting help
Josi
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Josie - that’s good you talked to her about it. We know how she feels when a child or grandchild is in a relationship that is toxic but we also know the more we object as parents and grandparents the more they push back just to show their defiance and independence or so they think.
I didn’t like my son’s GF from the getgo and made no bones about it although I did try to get along with her. When all hell broke loose he told me I could say I told you so but I didn’t get any pleasure in doing that. I just didn’t think she as right for him - and she wasn’t.
Thanks. Hope she does get the help she needs.
Diane
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Diane,
You are like me in a lot of ways . These kids just don’t realize sometimes till later in life how we will always have their back no matter what happens. We just want the best for our kids
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I think everyone of my siblings including myself rebelled when we were young just to “show” our parents. More often than not it didn’t end well but we did learn valuable lessons - the hard way.
I just had to have my own apartment so I moved out. I loved the freedom with no curfew but I nearly starved to death and that’s when I worked 2 jobs just to have an apartment I was rarely there to enjoy. All the things you take for granted living at home were then necessities you had to pay for. Ugh.
Sometimes our kids just have to find out for themselves. It’s called growing up.
Have a good weekend. We are babysitting the twins today until tomorrow night. DS is taking his rugby team to Louisville. Sunday is our ND Club’s St. Patrick's Day party.
Diane
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Hello ladies! Long time no "see" Just wanted to send a quick hello and to tell you all that most all is well with me. I am in a different job these days (same agency but different position) and still just as insanely busy as before.
Joan, I am rooting for you to go back to work if that is what you want to do. Hugs and know that I am impressed with your strength and positive attitude. I would most likely be a mess!
Sew, your Mom is 100? Wowzer and bless her!
Josie, sounds like you are still earning the "Mom of the Year" award.
I was in a bad car accident (am okay now) at the end February and missed 3 weeks of work so have to run. Still playing catch up since have only been back a week.
Hugs to all of you and to those of you I did not single out, I love you guys too...just out of time!
xoxoxo
Happy New Year! (albeit a bit late)
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Glsd you dropped in April and that you are okay from the car accident.
Posting pics of 3 of my favorite guys. Jackson - the one on the right is tossing animal cookies to the dog. He always gains weight when they are visiting!
Happy belated year to you too!
Diane
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