"The most ENCOURAGING things said to you during your journey"
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I think we all want to clone nayda's DH! At the very least we can reread his words and pretend someone is saying them to us. Keep hanging on tight, nayda!
MJ
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😁
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The encouragement I received that kept me going was in the form of actions. It wasn't anything that was specifically said to me.
First of all, my wonderful employer allowed me to work at home all through chemotherapy. That was a huge thing for me. It kept my mind going the whole time. My coworkers helped out by understanding that I had chemo brain (LOL!) from time to time. They also got together and made me a basket of chemo care items. It was the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for me. They also took pictures of themselves and photo shopped them to appear bald. I still have those pictures on my office desk and plan to make a collage out of it. My director gave me one of those breast cancer themed bracelets (with charms) when I returned to the office (during radiation therapy). She picked it up while on vacation. Made me feel like I was a special part of the team (no matter what).
My husband was also very important in all of this. He took over many things that needed to be done around the house. He took me to every infusion appointment. He's my rock. I don't know what I would have done without him. I'm tearing up just thinking about all of this.
Anyway, all of this has kept me going and made me a better person. I look at things a whole lot differently now. It's all thanks to these wonderful people (and my mom). I can't forget my mom.
Nayda - Your husband is definitely a keeper! I had a moment like that as well. Lately, my husband keeps telling me to stop wearing my wig. He says I look better without it. He must be blind.
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Not long after my mastectomy one of my dear friends gave me a laminated saying from Liz Curtis Higgs that says basically each morning when you get up and stare in the mirror naked just say "ta-da!" and smile! You are live and as you are intended to be right now in your life. There is more but it is the jist of it. I have it on my mirror to this day!
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One of my doctors believed me when I reported problems from my medications and didn't think I was being whiney.
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It's been fun and heart-warming to read through the comments here. I'll take several of them as encouragement!
For me, I'm just 2 months since dx and 11 days since lumpectomy. I'm pre- any other treatment, meeting with MO tomorrow. I haven't told lots of people beyond family about my diagnosis, and most of them I haven't seen in person. Everyone has been very kind and loving, which is supportive and encouraging even without memorable words.
My husband is the best, and my grown kids also wonderful.
But for words, here are 2 things that are memorable for me. First, when my PCP told me it was time to get my regular screening mammogram, I kind of shrugged and said, "Okay, I'll schedule it. But I'm NOT going to die from breast cancer." I meant that then and I mean it now.
Second, I remember words of a dear beautiful hilarious friend, about herself, after she'd been laid off from a job a few years ago: "Sucks to be you." Yeah, you can feel sorry for yourself, and go ahead with that. But ultimately the pity party needs to stop and you need to get on with things.
And for a bonus, my son lives 2000 miles from me. He has a brand new baby and is getting ready to move to a different state. He needs to move all the stuff out of his house in the next couple of weeks so the sale can go through. He has offered multiple times to fly here to be with me if needed. I actually might take him up on it if the timing is right. He's in the military and buzzes his own hair about once a week. If I'm doing chemo (and likely I will,) I'd really like my son to buzz my head for me. We haven't talked about it yet, but I'm pretty sure he would fly here to do that.
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MountainMia good attitude is going to help you get through this. Congrats grandma on a new grandbaby!!! As an Army brat and someone who was an Army wife as well I definitely appreciate your son's service.
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"I hope you know you're capable and brave and significant even when it feels like you're not."
This thread has helped me today. Some days are rough. Please add more positivity, thank you, Lisa
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My Dear Mother had a radical Mastectomy in her 40s and last week we celebrated her 92nd birthday!!! That number is 92, 8 yrs shy of 100. Never lose HOPE, never GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kad2kar
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That is wonderful and encouraging news. How wonderful she could do that and you can be here for her.
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BCinColorado - The post above saying that we might welcome the day by taking a peek in the mirror wearing our birthday suit and saying “TA-DA” is not simply the best thing I have read on fun boards here - but one of the best things I have heard in my lifetime! It’s loving, accepting, hilarious and acknowledges the lunacy and wonder of life. And it sure beats being glum. TA-DA!! Much love, Belle xx
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Glad you it cheered you! May you have people around you who can cheer you and encourage you every day to keep going!
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None of the encouraging words of my family and friends have helped me... I have felt lonely, misunderstood and cowardly. And I felt stupid for feeling cowardly and for failing to show others the positive attitude everyone expected of me...
Then I read this phrase in the signing of a poster: "You don't have to be brave, you just have to show up" I clung to that phrase throughout my chemotherapy, and when I was terrified before surgery. Tomorrow I'll start rads and keep telling myself that phrase until I finish ... "You don't have to be brave, you just have to show up"
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That's right, Yndorian, just keep showing up. There is so much courage in the act of showing up. Please give yourself credit for that, it's the hardest part. I'll be cheering for you.
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MountainMia: Thanks for your support! You're so sweet... I hope we all gets well soon 😘
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I was 27 when I was originally diagnosed in 1999. I was an anomaly at the time because of my age and they had no idea what to do with me.
About 2 years after I finished treatment, I wanted to stop Tamoxifen and have a baby. After 7 months of trying, I got pregnant and visited my oncologist. He sat me down and held my hand and looked me in the eye and told me this....
No matter what happens, never regret this decision. Whatever happens with regards to cancer will happen regardless, pregnancy doesn’t cause a recurrence I just may speed it up. Never regret this decision, enjoy every minute of your pregnancy and being a mom.
I cried. Making a decision to get pregnant after cancer back in 1999 was a huge leap of faith. They didn’t have many studies, and they didn’t offer fertility preservation options then. He made me feel so hopeful and encouraged.
I now have 2 wonderful post BC “babies”, one 16 and one 11.
My old oncologist retired so I am seeing one of his partners now. When I met her for my current diagnosis, she told me we’re aiming for another 40-50 years. She’s told me this several times. She’s definitely encouraging and gives her patients hope.
Tracy
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Tmh0921 - thank you. Tears in my eyes. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing and brightening up my day!!!! Hugs and love to you, and your beautiful children. We are not dying from cancer, we are living with cancer. Lisa
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and bcincolorado and Teddy88, I almost missed that. I have a link: https://www.lizcurtishiggs.com/ta-da-cards-2/
I am going to order some. Hugs, Lisa
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Lisa
You are absolutely right, we are not dying from cancer, we’re living with cancer.
Tracy
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You give me a lot of strength today, Tracy. Thank you. I will get you a Ta-Da card too.
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Tracy wonderful story and congrats on your kids!! Mine were grown when I was dx and can't imagine the faith you needed to have them after cancer. I too had my MO retire and am seeing a partner now.
If anyone ever has a chance to see Liz Curtis Higgs speak (I did a few years post cancer) she is as wonderful as her ta-da cards are!!!
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Yndorian, that saying got me through some tough times last year, too. I was terrified a few days before my nephrectomy, and I repeated that until I calmed down. I don't know who originated it, because it's been passed on to so many of us here. To whoever it was, a huge THANK YOU.
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I had completed my chemo, radiation, targeted therapy, reconstruction and am on zometa infusions and Letrozole. My Oncologist said to me, “Now we will meet every six months and grow old together”
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Tough times never last, but tough people do!
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