"The most ENCOURAGING things said to you during your journey"
Sisters,
I think we can always use another "feel good" thread, so I thought this one would be a good one to go with...
I know we already have a thread for the dumbest and worst things people have said to you during our journeys, but how about the most encouraging things said to or done for you?
I've read many posts throughout BC.org where doctors, nurses, techs, therapists, friends, spouses, partners, family members and other survivors have been exactly where we have needed them to be at the right time and said exactly what we needed to hear when we needed it the most. (Or for that matter, have DONE exactly what what we needed them to do without even asking)
These are the words and acts of kindness that have stuck with us, whether it was from early on when we first got our diagnosis to when we ended active treatment and started to move on with our new "normal". They kept us going and continue to do so, as we move onto better, happier, and healthier days ahead.
Please share these comments, stories, remarks, acts of kindness, quotes, (whatever you'd like), that have most encouraged you and still encourage you today...OR share how you have "paid it forward" to someone else who is going through this journey, when they needed it most. Whatever your heart has to share, please feel free to do so.
What you share today, may be the one thing that someone on the board needs to hear right now.
Thanks so much!
Tori
DE COLORES!
Comments
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A survivor of ten+ years and dear friend said:
"It will get better. It will get better. It will get better."
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This wasn't a specific thing someone said - I am a military wife and have friends scattered all over the country. I realized that on the first chemo day I received texts from them as I was sitting in the chair. From that point on I didn't tell them specifically when the next chemo was, but they all knew it would be 3 weeks later - so on their own they all calendared it, and for every chemo after they texted me. These are not people who know each other - they all did this independently! It was amazing and helped me so much to know they were thinking of me at that moment.
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Nice thread, ToriGirl. I hope you get lots of responses!
When I was first dx'd, a 12-year survivor friend in another state sent me this encouragement that her yoga teacher had shared with her when she was first dx'd: "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I will try again tomorrow." I read that so many times throughout my journey, and have shared it with many others. And it's always given me strength.
Another one was when I was facing a mx and feeling oddly detached from what was going on, and a wonderful PA (a bc survivor herself), got my attention with what seemed like such an odd but thought-provoking comment. She said, "This experience absolutely is going to change you -- for the better. I don't know how it will, because we're all different. But trust me, it will!"
And then, shortly after I finished my tx and was feeling completely out of step with life, I was at a very large cocktail party (like 500+ ppl.), and struck up a conversation with a young woman who, kind of out of the blue, shared this with me: "When something traumatic happens to us, we must find a way to use it for good, or we will continue to be its victim." She had been a Bosnian War refugee, and I believe that running into her that night was absolutely "a God thing." Deanna
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Thanks ladies! Love these already! Let's see how many more we can get! This is gonna be a GREAT thread, I just know it!
Peace and love
Tori
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My husband and grown children telling me how proud they were of me.................
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During my journey?
"This plane won't crash, don't worry."
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"You're NOT on the Titanic."
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My husband isnt a man of many words and I know this and love him and have for the last 22 yrs. He has never been one with his words but shows it through his actions. When I had my BMX on a Wednesday with a hospital stay until Friday, he never left my side. This has meant more to me then anything in this world.
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I've been on a journey, not as long as the Stage IV gals, but longer than most (15 months with about 7 more to go).
I have a dear friend who is a 3-time survivor and she told me "you don't have time for one negative thought."
I have been blogging since this all began in June 2010, and I was so encouraged when I was told that my blog was helping people I didn't even know. Someone from Canada actually posted a comment asking me to write more, that she was newly-diagnosed and found my blog extremely helpful. At that particular time, I was thought to be NED and I had not been writing regularly. I thought it was such a compliment that someone I didn't even know was being helped by something I was publishing.
My friends have made comments on my strength, my courage, my positive approach to everything I've been through. People I've never met in person comment on my blog entries, that it stirs their emotions in a positive way. That is such a good feeling.
But the best thing of all, the thing that brought tears to my eyes, was after one of my blog entries, when my 35-year-old daughter wrote a Facebook comment stating how proud she was of me.
And now, our entire family, we never end a phone coversation or leave each other's company without saying "I love you."
Michelle
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Thanks for sharing ladies! Keep them coming.....I know it will be a comfort to many who read.
Tori
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"Live to Live!" - encourages me to enjoy life.
"Thank you, because of you sharing your journey I had my first mammogram and will do so on a yearly basis along with annual physicals." - encourages me to not hide or be a victim.
Edited to explain why I found these encouraging to me.
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One day, at the end of last summer, my husband and I were browsing in an art/gift shop in this great little town near our favorite beach. I was about to walk out the door, when I heard my husband say, "Hey, hon? Did you see this?" I looked over and saw this quote, beautifully framed with a few pressed flowers inside:
"Perhaps strength doesn't reside in having never been broken -- but in the courage required to grow strong in the broken parts." (Anonymous)
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Awesome. I hope it's okay if I borrow some quotes and put them on my FB page. Ya know, this disease plays with you, at least with me. Some days I am so strong, other days I am angry, sometimes scared and sad. It will be so great to follow this thread and find encouraging words. Thank you so much.
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What a nice idea for a thread, ToriGirl. I'm enjoying reading the posts. I kinda like the quote "When something traumatic happens to us, we must find a way to use it for good, or we will continue to be its victim." I don't like dwelling on "what ifs", regrets, or "why me" in general. So with BC it was the same.
I can't think of anything specific said to me that was encouraging right now. Though when the PS said I was a candidate for a nipple sparing mastectomy...that was definitely encouraging at the time!
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I felt so much better when I asked my doctor why she chose to be a breast surgeon. She told me that the joy in her job is looking at me today and knowing how well I will be doing a year from now. I cried when she said that because it gave me hope.
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a man said to me, "instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop, why not put on that shoe and dance!" -(that has always stuck with me)
Anne
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Thanks for sharing more words of wisdom and encouragement...this is great!
spendygirl-my hope is that this thread does offer encouraging words to those who need it, and that it continues to encourage those of us who are passing along the words we have heard and now share...
I too, look forward to seeing what others bring this way....
Tori
DE COLORES!
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Tori love this thread.
I had two different people that had had cancer that when they heard stopped by my office just to give me encouragment and a hug. Also a very good friend of mine was with me when two weeks into rads I was already having a hard time and was miserable and I just sat and cried and she help my hand and told me it would get better. This meant alot because her husband had died of lung cancer and she was one of my most supportive people yet I know it brought back lots of tough memories for her.
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I love this thread idea and have bookmarked it. Hope to come back and add more things as I think of them. I've been blessed in so many ways and that, in and of itself, is what I try to remember and what keeps me going.
I dug through the cards and notes I've received so that I could post this. Before I had my mastectomy, I wrote a post on my CaringBridge site about how I knew that I was going to be changed after this experience and was afraid that, in some ways, I would not recognize myself. A very dear friend gave me a letter after my surgery. She talked about some of the good changes she had already seen in me - the way I had opened up to people and shared, and been strong in confronting the reality. She acknowledged all of the pain and difficulty, while lifting me up to be able to see good things, too. This is part of what she said at the end:
"Yes - today you are changed. You are not exactly the same. Thank God! You are enriched, deepened, graced, stregthened, emboldened, braver, aware, cherished, supported, valued, and loved."
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Hi everyone! I"ve gotten through the almost last year with faith, family, friends, and lots of laughter.
I'll have to go back and look at stuff since chemo brain still prevails - will get back to you soon.
Thanks Tori - this is great.
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Nice thread.
3 things come immediate to my mind:
1. While in a fog and on the River of Denile, I asked my bs if I can wait until after Christmas to have my mx. (I was dx at Thanksgiving). He said, "You need to understand that you have cancer." I got off the boat quickly! I am thankful for his comment.
2. Before my chemo ended, my onc told me to see the RO b/c it might be recommended that I have rads. I was all whiney about it. My sister said, "If I were you, I'd let them give me everything they have." I stopped whining and went through rads when it was recommended.
3. THE MOST IMPORTANT WORDS that still get me through this comes from Girl Scouts: Courage, Confidence, and Character. We teach girls to have these qualities to make the world a better place. My daughter wrote them all over the house for me.
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The most encouraging things that were said to me was by YOU.....
You Tori was my rock!!!!!!You said all the right words and you didnt even know it.
Thank you...and thanks for starting this wonderful thread..
Sure family,friends and DRs said wonderful things but BCO sistas said it best.
huggggggggggs K
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Ok I see one right here on my wall at work - one of my bosses has three kids - middle schooler, elem, and kinder, they hand made me a card with three reasons I was going to make it through this:
1. You ahve a great personality
2. You have bunches of love
2. You have US.
Kids know just what to say don't they.
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Gina I just love kids
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Love that Gina....as I sit here crying while reading. Obviously one of "those" days.
Thanks everyone for contributing!
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ah, Spendygirl, I'm not having one of those days, but I am having an extreme fatigue day....I'm quickly remembering what the last week of rads felt like.
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While I was going through treatment, my sister called to tell me that my 4 year old nephew was saying his nightly prayers and he said that he prayed for the owie on my boobie. He told his momma that Jesus was going to make it all better."
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Ok, I'm home relaxing at the computer and I pulled out my box of cards and gifts - I went to Tuesday Morning the other day and bought these beautiful boxes, different sizes, some for wigs, some for cards, some for hats, just to put everything "away" but still accessible. My chemo chicken from my infusion nurses is in there along with a ton of cards: I just read through them, and now I'm crying, cause you know with chemo you can't remember jack, so it's like the movie 50 first dates reading them all over again.......
My DH gave me one, it says: Still you, Still me, Still everything I could want in my life.
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A co-worker said, "You are one tough woman."
edited to add that this meant a lot to me because that was what I was desperately trying to be.
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Tori, thanks for starting this thread!!! One of my closest friends said "I am going to treat you the same as I did before you had cancer". That was exactly what I needed to hear ... That I was still me
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