"The most ENCOURAGING things said to you during your journey"

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  • policewife84
    policewife84 Member Posts: 86

    Hi Ladies,

    I just found this thread and think it is wonderful! While I have been in remission 2 years, I often think back on the most significant thing I think my husband has ever said to me. I had just been diagnosed, and was in quite the emotional state. I looked at my husband and said, "Oh my goodness, I have cancer." He looked at me and said, "No, WE have cancer." I still tear up when I think about that incredibly intimate moment between us, and knowing that there was nothing that could separate our love and devotion to each other. Another moment that I will never forget, is at my first chemo infusion. I was absolutely terrified, and I was crying inconsolably in the chemo lab. My husband was right by my side, but I just could not calm down. One of the chemo nurses came over to my chair, sat down beside me, took my hand, looked into my eyes, and said, "I have never met a cancer patient with an expiration date. You are going to be just fine." I treasure those words, and think of them often!

     Love,

    Brandi

  • shayne
    shayne Member Posts: 524

    that made me tear up!  Thanks Brandi......

  • tinkertude
    tinkertude Member Posts: 1,998

    oh Brandi... they both made me tear up!!!! beautiful... thanks for sharing!

  • faithhopenluv
    faithhopenluv Member Posts: 154

    I am a little over 13 weeks PFC.  On Saturday I went to a baseball game for a boy's birthday party.  As we were walking out with 7 kids and 3 other adults, the kids wanted to take the 3 flights of stairs instead of the elevator in the parking garage.  Not only was I able to climb the 3 flights without getting winded, none of the adults even blinked about questioning if it was something that I could do.  I am on a mission to reclaim my life where BC is an after thought and not the first thought.

    I hope this bump stirs up some more great stories! 

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Member Posts: 942

    I was diagnosed just about 3 weeks ago.

    I was sitting in my recliner a couple weeks ago with my just washed hair wrapped in a towel, turban style. My dh looked over & said, " you look like an alien." I said, " just wait til you see me with one boob and no hair, to which he replied, " I didn't marry you for your boobs & hair." just what needed to hear at that moment.

  • schatzi14
    schatzi14 Member Posts: 906
    Soteria...ya gotta love our DHs! Sounds like you got a good one, as did I Wink
  • denise-g
    denise-g Member Posts: 353

    bump

  • faithhopenluv
    faithhopenluv Member Posts: 154

    Bumping as well, with a little story about my 21 yr old nephew.

    I'm 4 months PFC and barely have a boy cut going, but I can't take the wig any more.  I visited my sister a couple weeks ago and this was the first my nephew had seen me after chemo.  He introduced me to his friends as 'This pretty lady, is my aunt' with the most sincere and kindest expression.  I don't feel pretty, but he almost makes me believe it.

  • denise-g
    denise-g Member Posts: 353

    Awww, what a great nephew!!!

  • TKSit
    TKSit Member Posts: 33

    LOVE the thread! Thank you for starting it, ToriGirl and thank you to all that have shared your precious words. Encouraging words from the 3 most important people in my life.....

    Sweet Hubby-"In sickness and in health. That's our deal."

    Smart Mama-"Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death."

    Darling daughter(5)-"You are more beautifuler than the Big Dipper." This as I was bald, pale, thin & sick.

    Words are so powerful.

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 4,748

    Your mamogram did not show new cancer!

  • torigirl
    torigirl Member Posts: 748

    bump

  • JamieB86
    JamieB86 Member Posts: 183

    Wow, what a great thread. Sorry I didn't see it until tonight. Thanks for the bump ToriGirl.

    Some words that helped me -

    My PS doesn't perform the surgery I thought I wanted at first.  He told me he would research to find the best surgeon around who does. " How could I ask you to be my first?"  He told me to ask for the last appointment of the day and he would spend as much time with  me as I wanted.  I knew then he truly cared.

    A friend of many years told me, "If I ever have to go through this, I hope I can do it with as much grace and dignity as you."

  • denise-g
    denise-g Member Posts: 353

    I posted this once before, but worth repeating during Thanksgiving since it is the one-year anniversary of my MX and I am SO GRATEFUL for these words:

    On my first meeting with my BS, Tara Breslin, M.D. at Univ of Mich she leveled all the bad news at me -- Stage 3 IDC, large tumor, immediate MX, 5 mos chemo, rads, etc etc etc.  I sat there numb and knew I would die.  She looked at me in the eye with great compassion and said, "We Can Cure You."  

    I had those words painted on my dining room wall - 9 inches tall -  which I can see all from over my house.  On my darkest days of chemo, I would sit at my dining room table and stare at those words and repeat them over and over in my head even though I didn't feel them.

    Now, one year later, I feel them.  I will never forget those words of HOPE and ENCOURAGEMENT. 

  • rn4babies
    rn4babies Member Posts: 72

    A few days after going "topless" for the first time, I saw my gyne at the hospital I work at. He asked me how I was then said "you are beautiful!" in front of my co-workers. There were some nursing students there that didn't know me or my history that thought he was hitting on me but I knew he was just being kind and trying to increase my confidence. It really meant alot that he didn't care what people thought. BTW, he is married with 6 kids....lol. 

  • denise-g
    denise-g Member Posts: 353

    bump

  • Gai
    Gai Member Posts: 154

    Hi

    This is interesting to reflect on.  This story comes from a ladies who worked for me, I worked all the way through my treatment and as I had a team of 100 people, I was very visible.

    "You have changed the way I view cancer.  I thought that I would just go away and die somewhere but you have shown me that you can live a full and happy life regardless of your situation and what you're going through.  Thanks for inspiring me to think differently about cancer and make different decisions should it happen to me" Jann

    Love

    Gai

  • schatzi14
    schatzi14 Member Posts: 906

    That is true inspiration! What else can be said?

  • rozem
    rozem Member Posts: 749

     out of the mouths of babes.....

    while i was going through chemo (bald, pale and sickly looking) i asked my 11yr old son if he had any questions, or wanted to talk to me about the entire "situation".  I was concerned that he may hear bad stuff from his friends, not understand, be scared etc and i just wanted to make sure he knew he could talk to me about it - his answer was "you know mom, you told me you were going to be ok and you are and thats all I need to know" - still brings tears to my eyes!

  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 11,653

    The one woman (now a friend) met me just as I finished chemo and was doing my first herceptin only. She was about to meet our onc for the first time. I was still in a scarf. She told me after she finished chemo (in an email) that when she say me she felt "if that woman looks that good and just did chemo I can do this." I'm 10 years older than her too.

  • colt45
    colt45 Member Posts: 382

    My wife had just come out of BMX surgery. The snow was pounding outside the hospital (we would get 13 inches)...



    Her 1st roommate was wailing on, demanding that the heat in the room be turned waaaay up and my poor wife was already sweating profusely...



    I demanded we be moved to another room because clearly the 2 could not coexist as roomies...



    We got another, more comfortable room. ALONE.



    The nurses told us that with the storm, my wife was not going to be getting another roommate 'tonight'.



    When I returned the next day, I learned that she indeed got another roommate---at 2am in a blizzard.



    This was one of those times when you have to wonder if certain people---or angels---are placed in front of us on purpose.



    This woman was alone and her TV wasn't working, so I asked her if she wanted me to draw the curtain so she could see our TV. She had been talking through the curtain to my wife and knew she had breast cancer and a BMX. The woman, I will call her Claire, said she really just wanted me to open the curtain so she could see my wife's face-----'because she sounded like she looks BEAUTIFUL'... I pulled the curtain and the woman exclaimed: 'I KNEW it... You ARE beautiful'...



    At one point, she was talking about her grandchildren------and she said: 'Just wait until you have grandchildren... AND YOU WILL.'



    Claire was 82. Double my wife. She still lives with her husband who was 90. Double me.



    She was discharged only after we were. RIGHT after. Like she couldn't be released from duty until we were gone.



    She made us feel so much better.



    If we have angels, she was one of ours.

  • denise-g
    denise-g Member Posts: 353

    I had angels in my hospital during my MX. The night before surgery, everything changed - the hospital, the location, and the time because Thanksgiving was the following day.  It upset me, but I knew I had to "go with the flow."   In my new arrangement, the anesthesiologist, first shift nurse, and second shift nurse all had mom's who had mastectomies!  What are the odds.  They all told me they knew how hard it was, knew what their mom's had gone through, and would give me extra special care.   And they did!!   It was amazing!   I still cry when I think of the placement of those angels for me at the huge hospital where I had surgery!

  • faithhopenluv
    faithhopenluv Member Posts: 154

    I love when this topic gets bumped :) I agree - i am so thankful for those right people at the right moments. During chemo I counted down until may 10th. May 10th came and my boy friend dropped me off, planning to pick me up for a victory lunch on the beach. At this point I was on taxol and turned down company because I wanted to snooze. They drew my blood and I went and sat in a chair, poured my drink and got settled. On this last of 8 treatments my counts were too low. I got a shot, called for ride and came back the next day. My counts were up, I had my last chemo and went to my victory lunch. I went to my onc the next Wed (normally I'd go on Friday) but she was traveling. My counts were non existent. I got another shot and she told me to come back Thursday and Friday for another shot and not to go to work. I was too vulnerable. This is where I started to break down, I did everything they told me to do. I was supposed to be done. I went back on Friday thinking I'd get an all clear,my counts were even lower. They put me on fluids and were trying to decide the next steps as my doc was traveling. In the meantime I had started texting that I wouldn't be at work again and why. At my darkest scariest moment when my sweet nurse told me I was going to have to give myself a shot on Saturday and on Sunday, my eyes welled up with tears and she wiped away her own. I looked up and one of my friends had dropped everything to drive 40 minutes and just be there with me. Ultimately I added giving myself shots to the lists of things I would have never thought I could do - but did. My counts eventually bounced back. And now I look forward to another May 11th and another victory lunch. I am so thankful for everyone that touched my life and supported me along this path

  • ritaz
    ritaz Member Posts: 76

    bump

  • Pbrain
    Pbrain Member Posts: 773

    Well, I struggle a lot with the "what ifs" and "did I do enough or should I have done more" and one of my friends said to me the other day "If it comes back, I know you.  You'll just fight it again."  That is so comforting to me.

  • Hope1953
    Hope1953 Member Posts: 15

    Pbrain,

    I think what if also, more now then ever. I wish I knew why,Maybe because there is so much of it on my moms side.Like your friend says we just have to fight it again.

    I was diagnosed Feb 23 2011 with Breast Cancer. I had a double Massectomy and 3 Lymph Nodes taken. I went through Chemo and Rads. I will be 60 in Aug. I am also taken Tamoxifen. I was stage 2. The HER whatever I have to look up.

    My sister lived in Merriville Indiana, that is near Gary. Is that near you by any chance?

    Thanks for writing back. Lets keep in touch, OK!!!?

    HUGS!!,

    Talk to you soon

  • mepic
    mepic Member Posts: 30

    Love this thread. Too many wonderful things said to mention but one was my MIL saying she wished she had gotten BC instead of me and the other is my 9 year old son telling me I am the most beautiful girl in the world. My husband has brought me breakfast in bed every single day...but he was doing that already before dx. I am truly blessed.

  • denise-g
    denise-g Member Posts: 353

    I was having one of those horrible fear days about "what if this recurs" as I just heard about a woman who had a recurrence that is a friend of my moms.   

    I was at a restaurant on this day and the waitress was warm and friendly.  I noticed she wore a pink ribbon on her collar.  I asked if she was a breast cancer survivor?  You could tell she was happy I asked then told me her story how she went through breast cancer 23 years ago with chemo that was much tougher because of lack of meds and back then they didn't know nearly as much.   She took my hand, looked me in the eye and said, "You are going to be just fine and live a long life."   

    It certainly was what I needed on that day.  She was an angel to me!

  • sciencegal
    sciencegal Member Posts: 546

    Thanks for this thread girls- love it!



    Here's my story about the most wonderful friends in the world:



    I was diagnosed with an aggressive, fast growing tumor and my oncologist said "there is no way to keep your hair and live". This was very hard to hear since we have clients, funding agencies, etc at our University research lab and I feared we might lose a lot of business if they realized I was sick. Many people's salaries depend on this continued business.
    Also I have always had long hair and this was one of the more devastating thoughts about the treatment (much more so than mastectomy, for me).



    My amazing friends rallied and found out about scalp cryotherapy, and not only researched it but became my "capping crew", by my side to change frozen caps and cheer me up for nine hours around each infusion.



    I am so grateful to them that I can't even fully express it. And the clients and funding agencies have no idea I have been sick, since I worked all through chemo and looked like "me", so we lost no business. I was able to maintain my privacy, very important to me.



    I just thought I would share this story of my extreme gratitude for these amazing friends- three women and one man who had such an amazing impact on my happiness and recovery, not to mention income!

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,633

    More lovely, heart-felt stories! Thank you for sharing!