February 2012 Chemo
Comments
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(((((Ali))))) so sorry you are in pain. Have you tried wearing a camisol instead of a bra. There are some made for mastectomy patients that just stretch so you can step into them and they are very comfortable. I've been wearing mine since my BMX last Dec and was looking forward to getting some cute bras when my exchange was completed, but lopsided again, I am back in cause they are just plain comfortable.
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My upper back is better but my lower back is still bad. Can you get mets in your lower back? I am thinking the worse silly I know.
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ALI: so sorry to hear of the back pain. I have fibromyalgia which causes excruciating back and other pains....more muscle than joints. I've not heard of chemo or rads causing fibromyalgia but they can cause muscle pains. I've found that switching from heating pads to ice packs periodically can help. Sometimes it's the heat and other times the cold helps. Not sure you'll want to try that but it might be worth a try. I sure know how frustraing it can be. I can never stand wearing a bra, even before the bc and treatments. But I would anyway and have pain across that area of my back. Hope you get some relief soon.
Doctors! My MO told me the CT scan would take an hour and he specifically said I'd be under the round device for that long. I was freaking out till I talked to the tech who pre-registered me. She said it would take an hour from time I walked in to office till I left but the actual scan time was only about 15 minutes. That's a big difference! I sometimes wonder if actual doctors know anything at all about what they make us go thru! Anyway, I still dread next week but am now just sorta looking forward to getting it done and over with and getting the results.
Take care, all! It's so cold and rainy here today, I turned on the furnace to heat the house. Geesh. Either too hot or too cold ever since spring. Dreading winter!
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Fldrmr, yeah, it goes fast. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Susan0 -
Ugh Karen I can't believe you have to wait until Tuesday for your CT scan. What torture. I am hoping and praying the time passes quickly and most importantly, you get great results. CT scans aren't bad, I did a few right after I was diagnosed. Cake after all we've been through, really.
Ali I am worried about you. You have so much pain. Would massage help? Maybe a pain specialist? It's terrible to have so much pain!
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some doctors know about these scans.....I would much prefer to guess a little more.....
So today I had an 11 year old girl come in for her school physical. She is a cancer suvivor about about 6-7 years..I did her exam, and then when were were finished I told her I had something to show her.....I showed her a picture on my phone with me when I had zero hair....She asked me....'Who is that'.....I said look a little closer.....'Is that you??' she asked.....I nodded.....Then her wise little sister blurted out...."Did you have Chemo???!!!!
I nodded afirmative.......she looked at me for a minute or two.....then said....is it gone? I said, I hope so.....I asked her what she remembered from her experience.....it was a lot!!! She asked when the picture was taken.....'a couple of months ago'....
so.....we talked......she had a lot of questions, and was able to ask pretty good questions, and I just let her ask away.....
We've always been friends, but I think our doctor patient bond is a little stronger now.....
She is wise beyond her years.....
oh......I forgot to mention, after she was cleared to travel, after her treatments, the Make a Wish took her and her siblings and parents to Disney World for a week.....
I'm pretty sure we'll talk again......
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Hi Everyone
I haven't had time to be on here much. My mum has been hospitalized due to numerous falls over the last couple of weeks and they have now kept her in this last week to try and figure out the source of the overall weakness. Her sodium and hemoglobin are quite low so they have her on a drip and will likely do a blood transfusion in the next couple of days. Personally I think she's given up the ghost on her will to live and told the doctor that. He's now thinking that she may be clinically depressed. She's at the same hospital where I am being TX so after my H today I'll be up to her room.
Ali
You might be experiencing the back pain from the Tamoxifen. Try icing vs heat. If there's inflammation, you'll inflame the area further with heat. I've had back issues forever and even though heat feels good at the time, cold really does make it feel better. If I lie in bed to long like sleeping in on the weekends my lower back is very sore. I've been noticing my feet are so stiff when I get out of bed or have been sitting for long periods. Moving around helps alot. Since I have to be at the hospital every day I now park at a mall across the street. Its about a 15 minute walk each way at it helps somewhat.
FLDREMER
Good luck with the scans and here's to good results (((HUGS))).
firstcall
That little girl won't forget you for that. I'm sure its very comforting to her knowing that her Doctor knows exactly what it feels like to go through cancer TX. You're the kind of doctor everyone should have. What an outstanding organization Make a Wish is. Nice that her little sister gets to experience Disney as well.
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hello everybody! i have not been on for a few days-nothing really to say ...and feeling the start of rads fatigue i think-as well as the emotional crapola with the trip we are taking tomorrow to see brother in law- last report was he has lost 20# already and looks weak..so we won't be surprised but i think it will devastate michael to see his brother like this.
today, michael's stomach is in knots- what iffing- the truck might break down we might runour of money etc etc...so i am just really dreadingthis trip-however - we must. i won't have computer again til at least weds so know that with me no news is good news personally!
my rads tx will be as normal on weds morning and then again weds afternoon to make up at least one of the two i will miss next week. i really am feeling fine- barely pinking up but as i mentioned the fatigue hits by end of day....
we've had some (much welcomed) cooler days and nites and today it is raining...new wiper blades on the truck for tomorrow's drive!
hair update- head hair darkening up and trying to fill in! wig itches! leg hair is also starting to come back......
firstcall- wow- what an awesome experience you could share! thank you for giving it to us as well.....
ali..i have no suggestions- just a gentle hug.
maureen...big big hugs and prayers going your way....
well- i want to do some other surfing during my lunch today so--oh!have discovered taco bell's steak cantina bowl-awesome!!! protein and lettuce and yummo!!!!
so--hoping all have a great weekend! i'll check back weds when i get to work!
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So.....yesterday afternoon, I was feeling a little under the weather.....took my temp at work, it was 101....wrapped things up and went home.....by the time I arrived at home, my temp was 103. Slept very poorly last night, and this morning, I found a rash on my right arm.....huge rash.....I have shingles. My oncologist started me on medication. I feel pretty lousy. I mostly mention this here because we are a little more vulnerable to this. It just keeps going on, doesnt it....
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firstcall, so sorry to hear about the shingles. not fun. I hope you feel better soon. Are you considered contagious? That's got to be annoying... Your story about the 11 year old girl was heartwarming though.
myleftboob - that's rough, about your mom. I hope they get her levels straightened out, and maybe find something to lift her spirits, too.
margo - I hope your trip goes smoothy, as well as it can anyway.
I'm exhausted, I need to go to bed! Long day at work today. Saw the surgeon and he said I was healed up enough for rads, and to get my prosthetic. I guess that is good news but it just made me angry. I'll call Monday to get rads started. I just want to get it over with. I'm tired of having cancer. On a positive note, my hair is now about long enough where it does not definitely look like I've had chemo. It kills me that people would think I would purposely have hair like this, but at least hopefully now the world will not automatically see me as "cancer patient."
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((((Christina))))))
Firstcall, I hope they can do something for you. my FIL got nerve damage from shingles, but he would not let them treat him. Can't remember which board, but we were all discussing the vaccine and planning to get it when we were healthy enough. I can't even get my flu shot til I get better. Sigh.....0 -
Christina,
Here's hoping that rads go smoothly and then you are FINISHED. Something to look forward to!
I hear you on the hair thing. Mine is short enough to look extreme, but long enough to look like it could possibly be a hair style, but there's enough of a question that I'm still wearing the pelt. I'm going in in about a month to have it colored, and possibly to have short extensions put in. Your hair has to be about three inches long to have extensions, b/c the top has to be long enough to flop over and hide where they put them in. I've got a ways to go, but I did have the back and around the ears trimmed went I went in for a consult about the extensions. They gave my wig a steam and fixed it up to hide the frizzled spot, so I'm more comfortable wearing it now, although I'm also quite sick of it.
Firstcall, that really stinks about the shingles--I'm so sorry! I'm also going to raise the lymphedema alarm and ask whether it could be cellulitis or not....Such a wonderful story about your patient--that was a very kind thing to do...
Ali, how is the back? I think it could be tamoxifen doing it, I'm having trouble, too. WHat does your MO say?
Lumpy, I hope there's something about this trip that ends up being a little bit fun--it stinks to take time off thats not really vacation, but thats what happens sometimes I guess.
MLB, I'm sorry to hear about your mom--hope they resolve it successfully.
FLRDREAMER, good luck with the scan!
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I am happy to report that the shingles are doing a little better. And yes, I was concerned about the possibilitiy of cellulitis, especially since it was on my right arm, the arm affected by my surgeries. The rash was rapidly advancing and quite large. Some lymphedema did start to set in with it. The key to treating shingles, is to treat it early. The studies show that the medication is effective if started within 72 hours of the onset of the rash. In my case, I was ill for about 12 hours before the rash started, and I started the medication a few hours after that. The rash looks even more like the typical shingles rash now, and it is already improving. The real issue with this is not the rash, but the pain which often follows. I'm hopeful that I will avoid that problem.
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Firstcall. I hope you avoid the pain and the LE! Praying for you.
Fldrmr, hoping things go well for you.
Christina hope you are able to pull yourself and finish, you are on the final leg and the finish is in sight.
MLB, hope things go better for your mom.
Hildy, crossing my fingers you get your hair done the right way for you.
Lumps, I am in WI, and if there is anything I can do to help, ask! I can throw a mattress on the floor if needed too. Whatever it takes. If I have forgotten anyone, please forgive me. I blame cancer. I love blaming cancer. Maybe it will give up someday and just go away. Oh wait, is that bullying? Oh so the f*ck what! LOL0 -
lol @ moonflower
firstcall I am glad that things are improving for you. Hopefully you do not end up with any pain. Boy, just one thing after another it seems...
Hildy, ooh extensions, I've been thinking about that off and on. I'd love to see a photo after you get them.
I actually got some schoolwork done today. I've hardly done a thing all semester and I'm really behind. Hopefully now I am getting into my groove. Had a bad scare, I thought my cockatoo had a broken toe today but she was okay. It about gave me a heart attack though.
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firstcall, so sorry to hear about the shingles.
fldrmr, how are you going?
met with the plastic surgeon again this morning. decided to go with bmx and immediate reconstruction with silicone implants.
anyone else do that? was thinking of getting the body pillow that makes you sleep on your back. did that help other folks? much appreciate it.
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Hey Susan. I think you're smart to get immediate recon. I didn't and it's very depressing.
I think the body pillow would help; I used a long pillow after my UMX and I bet a body pillow would be as good if not better.
Did you set a date for surgery?
moonflwr where are you!?!?! You always keep our thread at the top of the list! lol I hope you are off doing something fun and exciting.
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Sorry, the only fun thing I did was get my drain out from my emergency te removal. Still recovering. On abx IV for two more weeks. Kinda depressed. Second time I lost my left te, and now have to wait at least six months to try again if I am going to. I still have righty only half filled and will have to decide if going to try to keep it. Sorry, by myself and a bit down sometimes life sucks.
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moonflwr. I'm with you. life does suck at times. next time I'm back in Wisconsin we'll have to hang out.
why not keep the right for now. no need to start from zero. plus, for fun, you can take out the left prosthetic at parties and see how long it takes folks to notice. we'll all cheer you on.
it's going to be ok. you and me both are having sucky nights0 -
Oh, grit , I'd really prefer if only one of us had a bad night. Wanna flip a coin? Heads, you get to have a bad nite, tails its me. No, huh?!? LOL. Oh well, as you can see I woke up and can't sleep. So gonna be bothering the boards for a while.
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Moonflwr, be nice if neither of us was having a sucky day. Did you finally get to sleep?
And I think today is the day that Flrdrmr is going in for her scans. My heart and prayers are with you.
Christina, bought the body pillow yesterday. I'd rather have bought myself a vacation but, hey, a body pillow works too.
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Fldrmr, in my thoughts today.
One of these days I am going to have to sleep upstairs, not in my sleep chair. Yeah, not gonna happen til I can climb the stairs more than once a day. Just want to heal from this latest surgery. BTW, surgery of the month club SUCKS!
Grit, let's both decide not to have a bad day for awhile. I finally fell back around 5 pm. So I was only up for about three hours.....0 -
moonflwr, I hope you are feeling a little better tonight. Susan, you enjoy that body pillow! They are nice to cuddle with.
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Hi to everyone: Well, I freaked out over nothing regarding the scan. It was truly a 'piece of cake.' First, I sent to the chemo lab downstairs to have them access my port. Then register for the scan, then to the ct scan area. Having the port made it easy for them to insert the dye. I was in the donut probably less than 5 minutes and only in the scan room for maybe 10 min. max; then back to the chemo lab to remove the needle. I worried over nothing. It really was one of the simplest of any test that I have had. Now, I just have to get my results on Thursday. I'll keep you informed.
Ali: I've been thinking of you. Has the back pain eased up? I sure hope so.
Lumpy: HOw did the WI trip with your husband go? I sure hope there was some enjoyment to it. And that nothing went wrong. Also, I've wondered what's happened with your insurance. Has that been resolved?
MLB: I've been thinking of you and your mom. I know there is no easy answer or resolution. So ((Hugs))).
Firstcall: You sound like an absolutely fantastic doctor. That little girl is lucky to know you! I really hope the shingles are gone and you are able to avoid the pain.
Gritgirl: It is so hard to believe you've been on this horrible journey with all of us since February and still haven't had the surgery. You've really had a rough road and are truly an inspiration to the rest of us. (Don't you hate when you hear that!). Sorry. I mean it though. When will you have the BMX?
Moonflwr: I've been thinking of you also. So sorry about losing the left TE. ((Hugs)) to you as well.
To all of you: I am thankful for each and everyone of you who has been supportive thru all of this. Thank you.
MONEY: My insurance EOB arrived today. Before rads were even done, they totalled almost $11,000. My insurance paid over 4 grand and they wrote off 6 grand. I still owe about $700 myself though. Also, I've reached my maximum out of pocket for the year. So, that means, I owe at least $3,000 to various providers. Also, that the scan today should be paid in full as well as anything else for the rest of this year. I guess that's good. But paying the 3 grand I owe will be tough. Oh well!
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Hi, my back is so much better and I'm looking more myself.
I have told DH that I don't want to go back to working in the office and I'll work from home. I said lets get the garage made into an office space and we could use his small office which is nex to the garage. It's a long story and well I'm sure everyone has heard of it. Couple been together 22 years and DH doesn't Make wife feel wanted anymore. This all happened seven years ago and boy have I paid for it double over those seven years.
I'm sure the stress of working there and all the ups and downs have not helped me over the years.
I told DH I wanted a fresh start and I'm not going back to the office so he can lump it or pay someone else to do it. I have hired a skip to clear the garage and bits from the house.
He also told me to snap out of this cancer crap as I'm well again and said " you have had more than enough support from me than you deserve " then he said he was sorry and shouldn't have said that.
I've told him if he wants to divorce me he can and he can have all the money which by the way I can't get hold of.
Anyway I have told him to get his shit together otherwise we are finished. I'm not going through all this pain to live with someone who treats me as a second rate person.
On another point my puppy keeps being sick so I will be taking her to the vets. DH says " I told you not to get a dog"
Sometimes I could scream at him.0 -
Hi Everyone
Thanks for everyone's kind words about Mom. She's still in hospital. I have to go down for a meeting with her doctor this afternoon. Excellent Gerintologist (spelling). But my Mom is refusing certain tests etc. I'm her POA so we need to discuss everything. Its so frustrating because she wants to go home yet she's barely eating and refusing CT scans etc. Its hard to be rational when someone is suffering from confusion/dementia.
Moonflwer
Sending healing vibes your way honey ((())).
Fldreamer
Happy to hear the scans were easy on you! Finances are tough enough without being left with thousands to pay after the fact. Universal health care has it's issues but at least there's no bill at the end.
Ali
The only advice I can offer is to talk to a solicitor NOW even if you don't throw him out or leave yourself. He cannot legally withhold that money from you nevermind the the insurance company allowed it to be double endorsed. If I remember correctly that cheque was made payable to you and it was cleared through his bank account? He could lose his license over this. Im sure thats not what you want but its good ammo.
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Myleftboob, it's really hard because we have never had joint bank accounts and he paid the insurance from that account. So it was his bank details but in my name, so the money went into that account. There were two insurance pay outs and the second was his policy for £ 30,000 so he woudn't have had the money if I didn't get Cancer. In total he got £ 180,000 also we have savings so he holds all the cards in the house.
To be honest the money doesn't bother me it brings nothing but greed, hurt and fighting.
Everyone says he needs anti depressive tablets but he won't hear of it.0 -
ali, question is what is divorce law in the UK? In most states here in the US, it's marital property law. In other words, what is made within the marriage in terms of money is property of both parties, no matter what name is on the account. Only property held prior to the marriage is exempt. Money is important in that it means you'll be able to eat and have a roof over your head. Sleeping outside is not fun.
Susan
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I am happy to report that the shingles flare is well controlled. The key to shingles is early treatment. I started the medication within a few hours of the rash starting. The first day it was like my arm was exploding, but now, it has calmed down a lot. The only problem is that the valtrex is hard on my stomach. But thats ok.....just have to remember to eat something with it.
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First call, I am so glad its coming under control. Hope it goes away fast!
Ali, I will be married 39 years next month. For the last ten, things were not good, and if my DH hadn't been working out of town for the last ten, we wouldn't still be married. I expected no help from him during than, I was and still am, stunned by the change in him. I don't know if it is because his sister is stage four, and it flared up right I was Dx, but he has been they for me. Very strange and I am still not depending on him. During those ten years, he closed our joint accounts, gave me no money, treated me as if I did not exist. Rough time. I starting saving a small amount in a Christmas accts. When I finally hit 500$ I could open my own accts and felt like I accomplished a lot. But, That's why I still don't trust him yet, but I guess I still hope. And I will hope your DH sees you again as a lovable wonderful, smart and deserving person. You do whatever you need to do, you will make it, nut don't give it all away! You deserve as much for putting up with him too! Much love.0
