February 2012 Chemo
Comments
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Susan and Yvonne: I haven't commented before but I hope both of you are recovering well from your surgeries. Keep us informed.
Christina: I'm so glad you rads are over. I know it's been a few days now but I am happy for you. I know that was a good feeling for me.
Hildy: I used to never get jokes and privately nudge my husband and say, "huh, I don't get it." Well, when I first read your "2014 - tumor years" joke, I thought, "huh?" Today, I read it again and lol, I got it. funny!
To all of you: I hope you have as good a Thanksgiving day as possible. If you're driving or flying, I wish you safe travels.
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I deleted a post that had rather extensive information about my friend who died. I decided it was not wise due to family privacy etc. But I do want to clarify that my friend did not die of cancer. She didn't have any disease that should have taken her life. It was totally unexpected. Although she had illnesses, none were considered fatal.
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MY NEIGHBOR WILL OWE ME TEN BUCKS IF MY DH ASKS ME TO MOVE IN WITH HIM BY WORK, SO HE CAN TAKE CARE OF ME UP THERE. LOL. Thats what I think will happen. And, if I do that I suspect hello say he will " rent" the house out for a while LOL. Im just waiting for him to say that. LOL BTW, he denies that anything ever happened between them. Um, yeah, I know a lot of people who go over to the other persons house st two am for coffee. Uh huh, um, yeah. Plus a zillion other things like that. So yeah, uh huh. LOL so, nuff bout me. LOL
So On to the important stuff.
Fldrmr, THAT SUCKS. I hope your friends DD can get her moms stuff out without drama. You are in my prayers.
I too have been so grateful to have all of you here. Support, love and a kick in the pants when needed! LOL, all important. Thank you all for sharing your lives with me. I am honored to know each of you. Happy Thanksgiving!0 -
Hope everyone has a good christmas mine is on 25th december, i haven't done a thing yet.
My dentist says i need root canal work on a leaking filling, he won't sedate me. I have got something from my doctor instead. This is all i need and my mamo on 19th dec.
love to all
xx
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Fldreamer
I read your prior post and all I can say is it's is horrible what your friend had to endure prior to her passing unexpectedly. Life just isn't fair sometimes is it?
Ali
Crap to the root canal, yuck! I haven't prepared anything for Christmas yet. Its going to be scaled down and simple though that I know. I haven't dropped the bomb on the inlaws yet that I am splitting with "DH" and won't be coming to their place and playing happy family like nothings up. I figure I'll spend the day with my Mom at her residence then off to my brothers place for dinner in the evening.
I would just also like to say that this thread has been a life saver for me as well. Its my go to you know?
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myleftboob, i remember you saying about DH how do you feel? are you still on speaking terms.
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Ali
Well lets just say I'm grateful he does shift work for the most part LOL! We speak but its just about necessity really. I try to avoid the screaming matches because it doesn't change things and just stresses me out Mind you last week we had a lulu of one. All because I thought I got paid on the 30th and its was the 1st. The 1st and the 15th. Only been with this company since October 1 and being 1 day off you would think forgivable. Claims I'm hiding money from him blah blah. What money? Every nickel on bills playing catch up from this disaster of a year financially LOL! Called me the C word and how he can't wait to get rid of me once this house is sold. This asshole forgets that he was riding the bus when I met him LOL, never owned a thing in his life! At one time we were doing great, house, rental property but then 2008 happened and our incomes dropped substantially due to job losses from companies that went bankrupt or closed up. I guess the recession is my fault as well. Whatever!!!! I wish I could fast forward to the new year I can tell you. Going to just rent an apartment for a year and save, save, save and see where life takes me.
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HAPPY THANKSGIVING to my American Friends!
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Myleftboob, Gee, now I know whose fault it is for the economic collapse in 2008! Geesch, what an idiot he is; actually I had another choice word but didn't want to type it. As for being called the C word, that would be a deal breaker for me. I hope you can get free soon. I know once you totally split from DH and are on your own you'll be much happier. I remember those days before I finally was free of my DH. I remember telling myself back then that even if I only had one year to live, I'd rather be alone than with him! I'm amazed more murders don't happen during those last days/weeks of living together. I really hope you can do your own thing this Christmas like you said. There's nothing worse than spending the holiday with someone you dislike!
Ali, sorry about the root canal. I had one many years ago and at least it saved the tooth. However, that's the tooth I had to pull after chemo because it was weakened and broke at the root. couldn't save it anymore. But, hey, I'm a lot older and it served me all those years.
Thanks to all for the kind words and sympathy in the loss of my friend. I wish I could post everything but it would end up being national news. I am going to say that my dear wonderful friend spent over 14 years living with and getting married this past summer to her companion who died a month before her. This 81 year old man was the father of the man who made the news last year after 'losing' his travelling companion. So, use your imagination, and you may understand the dynamics in their household before and especially now after the father is dead. Let's just say that money is on his mind! Still!!! I want to emphasize that the father was an 'all-right' guy and there's another son who is wonderful.
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Now a word about my daughter. This is the 47 year old who stays with me in my little 360 sq ft house and has a tent in the backyard. She finally got her disability in May, remember? Well, she was finally making the break with her a$$hole boy friend who called her the C word on a regular basis. She endured 9 years in an abusive relationship and is still not totally mentally free of him. But, she rented a little place in Arizona and has already paid one months rent but not moved yet due to finishing some medical appointments here. Well, the doctor recently found a nodule on her thyroid gland and ordered an MRI of her head due to hearing loss in one ear and facial palsy.
She had a biopsy of the nodule and it was benign but it is recommended that it be removed but they won't do that until the results of the MRI are evaluated further. The MRI revealed a brain cyst that is pressing on her auditory nerve. She needs to see a brain specialist in Iowa city in December and have that evaluated.
So, I have a double whammy hitting me. First, of course, I am worried about her health and her future. Having any kind of brain surgery is scary as hell and I dont even know if that will be necessary or what that would entail. Second, and this is selfish, it delays her leaving town and being on her own. You can't even imagine what it's been like with her staying with me. It's just time for her to be gone. And my house being so tiny doesn't help any!
I am thankful I am alive, that my cancer is relatively gone (only time will tell really) and I'm thankful my loved ones are alive. But I'm tired of the turmoil and just want real peace in my home again and solitude and things to stay neat and clean like they should when you're 69 and living alone!
Enough negativity. I have the Thanksgiving parade on and am going to enjoy it! Lots of music which should lift my spirits!
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((((Karen))))). Enjoy the parade.
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Wondering how everyone is doing and hoping their Thansksgiving DAy was as good as possible (and safe!). I spent lots of time at my sisters and took my granddaughter with me. Both daughters chose not to go. Their loss, not mine...food was fantastic.
Am I the only one who didn't go anywhere near any stores, malls, or sales this weekend? Not going to, either. There is nothing I want to buy that is worth the traffic and crowds. I've had a nice enjoyable weekend so far. We were going to all go see the movie "Lincoln" last night but it was sold out so we'll have to go another time.
Still sad over the loss of my friend but thankful for the good times we had and that I still have my immediate family. Wishing you all the best for the rest of the weekend!
Hair: btw, my hair is kinda grey/blonde and it appears it will be wavy or curly. Looks kinds cute (I think and so I'm told). So nice not to be so totally bald anymore. Never wear the wigs at all and only wear a baseball cap or hat if I'm cold. And it is cold here! Anyway, regarding hair, I have those annoying chin hairs and facial hair again too! But I'm happy to have eyebrows and lashes, even wore mascara the other day to look nice. felt good!
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Yay, fldrmr! Awesome! I am glad you got a pick me up day! You surely needed it.
I didn't go to any stores, I can't stand long, and really dont want to fight the crowds. My DD git ropes into hosting a shower tomorrow. She found out shed have to do it just about two and a half weeks ago. So I told her I could help. I have a ham,the cheap kind, but hey it wad 7$for the while 3 lbs. So ill Alice it, buy a few pounds of potato salad, I have a tray of brownies, she ordered a cake. I have nuts, and a sweet/spicy spread, someone is bring cheese and crackers, with soda and punch. I stooped at big lots and found some stone coasters, towel potholder sets, for door prizes. Bought pastel candy canes to make favors. Pink ribbon on them should look good. Espescially if I glue them together to make hearts. But, I am quite tired and will take it easy today. I can sit to make the favors. And once the ham is in the oven, no problem. Boy, I sure rambled on. Guess I haven't done anything Like this since before bc, and I am actually looking forward to it, rather than dreading it. Will wonders never cease?!? LOL
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turned on the computer this morning only to read about the loss of a friend-haven't seen her in years- she died of pancreatic cancer this past weekend...the angels above are lucky to have her!
i did have to go out yesterday to buy more lights for the tree-stores weren't horrid but traffic was...had a nice coffee break with my son. didn't wear the wig but didn't take my hat off either!
have to finish putting the lights on the tree and the few ornaments that i have- sweetie did a number on me verbally on saturday and i was tempted to take the tree back to the store and say the hell with it...i need to work hard this holiday season to remember the blessings that i have..last year i was preparing for my dx and telling my children about my cancer......i just keep biding my time with him....
tomorrow morning i have my mammo.
hugs and prayers to all.....
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Karen, I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. That is really scary! Please let us know how things go. As for shopping, I did not go... I would have loved to go but frankly I am broke! I've bought a few things online, plus I'm helping with my nephew's fiancee's bridal shower this Saturday, so I am stretched thin at the moment. I would have liked to shop though; I love shopping and the Black Friday crowds are exciting to me!
Margo - I hope your mammo comes out good, perfect and utterly boring.
It's the end of the semester for me - crunch time. Busy writing writing writing...well, with a little Words With Friends in between. I'm so hooked on that game! lol
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Hi everyone….thought I should check in.
I’m doing well, but had a little issue the past week, and haven’t checked in. A little over a week ago, I developed some floaters in my left eye, and flashing lights. I was concerned that I might have a detached retina, and went and had it checked out. The retina was fine, but I have a detached vitreous. And I have to start wearing glasses now. Other than readers, I have never needed glasses. I understand that a detached vitreous isn’t a big problem, and that I will adjust. Did Chemo push me over the edge to need glasses?
So….what do you tell people when they tell you how good you are looking? Its nice to hear, and I hear it a lot now, but I think what they are really saying is how bad I looked a couple of months ago after chemo. Some will say something like….’you’re really looking good’….then they say something like, ‘I was really worried about you last time I saw you, but afraid to say anything’….
Oh…..and what do you say when they say……so are you in remission now?
I usually just say, ‘I hope so’. I don’t think I’ll ever think I can stop looking over my shoulder, wondering what’s next. My MO wants me to meet with OT this week re lymphedema. I think I’m doing ok, but I will (try to) be a good patient and do what he recommends. I’ve been swimming a mile every other day, and that has helped my chest wall and arm quite a bit.
As the year end approaches, I reflect back over the year and it was a rough ride…..but I don’t have to tell you that. I am grateful to be alive. You, my friends, have been a good support, and I appreciate you.
I hope everyone is doing well.
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Firstcall
Glad to hear its not a detached retina! Yikes. I have to wonder about the effects of chemo on our eyes as well. I wore contact lenses for years and find now that I mostly wear my glasses.I found that my eyes either felt dry or they ran water. There has to be a correlation.
I know what you mean about people commenting "you look great". As a woman, I could get away with wearing a wig and faking eyebrows and lashes with makeup. It was likely that with losing your hair and brows it may have been more evident that you were in TX.0 -
Just put this on my blog. Hopefully only a bit more surgery.
War of the Girls
Well, I wouldn't call them girls at this point, more 1950 B movie space ships splashed down on my chest. The epic battle of the pectoral muscle and the silicone beast/breast. These battles can be hard and nasty, breast tissue gone, skin struggling to re-establish blood supply. Sometimes some of the skin loses that battle, as happened on my right breast. A small swatch of skin has gone necrotic and must be removed.
Bertha and Mabel explore their new world
When will this happen, you ask? Wednesday, November 28 at 1 pm at George Washington University Hospital. The procedure will be outpatient and hopefully my sister Meg, who is here to help, and I will be blithely skipping our way back to my house within a few hours.
One million steps forward removing that nasty, cancerous breast tissue, a tiny step back requiring that Mabel, the right breast, be rid of a pesky bit of dead skin.
But, hey, what's a little dead skin when we were talking about getting rid of 800 to 900 cc's of cancer-creating breast tissue. Goodbye death machine, hello my little plastic friends, Bertha and Mabel.0 -
Oh Susan. You have such a way about you! Sorry that you ate going through another challenge. Praying that the removal is quick and will set you on your way to a full recovery.
Love the space ship. Love the ETs. Here's to Bertha & Mabel!
Hugs,
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Susan: wow, you've been through way too much! Sorry to hear this. Hoping this surgery goes well and a speedy recovery for you. As for your little story and space ship, that's cute! loved it.
Firstcall, sorry about the eye problems. Sounds like the chemo did affect your eyes. Sorry to hear that. Glad it isn't worse than it is. We all seem to be in a never ending journey now, don't we? We'll all be looking 'over our shoulder' forever. But as long as our 'forever' lasts a long time, I guess we'll make it. I know what you mean about questions. I'm getting tired of answering any kind of questions at all. Try to avoid them. And, I dont' know about everyone else but it seems that most of my family, friends, acquaintances just seem to assume that since I'm done with chemo and radiation that I'm done, period! And should be just fine. Doesn't work like that.
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Hi everyone,
Wow, its taken an hour to catch up on all these e-mails. I'm glad everyone is doing relatively well. So I've been so busy working the past month I completley pushsed my cancer friend out of my mind. So I went in today for my 3 month labs. I go to Sloan and patients are able to see their results on line. So I just checked on line and my tumor marker has elevated. Before chemo it was 7.5. After chemo in August it was 8.5. The oncologist wanted me to have a colonoscopy. Had that last week all clear. So now today my tumor marker is 10.5! This is not good. Normal range is 0-5. Plus it is rising. I am so mad. For the last few months I was starting to feel like myself and now I'm so worried. Has anyone experienced elevated markers?
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dipad. those aren't huge jumps. if they jump again, talk to your doctor about a set of scans. for some the tumor markers are indicative, for some they mean nothing. do your best to relax.
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Dipad, hugs.
Grit, better to have the bad skin surgically removed, than to have a bad infection. Good luck on Wed.0 -
Dipad, we don't do the t markers as they think they give false readings. If it had jumped by 50 I would be worried but it is so small.
Please don't worry I think it's too soon after treatment.0 -
Thanks guys. Im so nervous. Sometimes I wish I couldnt see my lab results on line. Its so stressful. I see the onc tommorrow, as well as having an Endoscopy. Fun day tommorrow!
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Good luck, dipad! Ditto to Susan and hope this is a very minor skirmish and the War of the Girls is over.
FLrdreamer, sending warm thoughts your way. Sometimes it just seems like 2012 is a giant sh*t catapult and we have giant targets painted on our foreheads. Lets hope the 2013 catapult is filled with clean scans and winning Powerball tickets!
Firstcall, I hear you on the lymphedema--I'm having issues with that as well, to the point where I was thinking of joining a local sports club that has a pool. Hate to do it b/c it's expensive, but if it helps, I'm up for it. Just what is a detached vitreous?
I just had my eyes checked to see if I had any chemo related stuff, but apparently not. I'm so near sighted that I'd actually welcome cataracts, as they couldd then correct my vision quite a bit.
So I have surgery scheduled for the 13th of December, which is six days earlier than last year. This is good, as I'll get the drains out by Christmas, thank goodness. Just a plain MX with TE placement, no sentinel node biopsy. I guess they think that if there's anything there, its likely not invasive. Kind of a gamble, b/c if there is anything invasive I have to go have ALND, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my nodes will remain undisturbed.
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Susan, thinking of you today. Heal fast. Much love.
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Susan, you're in my thoughts today. Wishing you well on everything today. Keep us posted when you feel up to it.
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susan, thinking of you. xx
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thanks everyone getting ready to head back in. hopefully this will be quick, easy, and.leave with slightly less freakish boobs. i told the doctor my street walking business was way down. she said it would soon be back.
really appreciate everyone's support. cheers to cancer free boobs!0
