February 2012 Chemo
Comments
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Whoever it was that asked, it actually hurt less in my foot, perhaps because the anesthiaologist put it in himself.
I really am impressed that all of you with young children are doing so much. I dont think I could do it. But I guess you do whatever you can.
I wanted to continue to work, but my MO will not condone it. He was proved when I went back worked for 4 days and got my
infection. I honor those who work through this.
Still waiting for my disability to kick in, why cant all this be easier.
I understand people feeling down today, no one can be up all the time. BTW, is it a full moon or something? Feels like it.
I better go to bed, i think i am rambling. Much love to all.0 -
Hi, ladies with lymph nodes involved have you had them taken out already? I'm having chemo first then surgery.
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Today I'm going to say a prayer to the makers of Colace the stool softener.
Colace, thank you for helping me to have bowel movements again. To you i am ever grateful.
Now I hope to say a prayerfor acne med. The Herceptin has given me worse acne than when i was 15. Embarrassing.
Hope everyone has a wonderful day. I am still tired but getting by.0 -
Hi gritgirl, I know what you mean about bowel movement it's horrible.
Hope you have a good rest and by eldest daughter has bad spots as well.0 -
Ali68 - I had 20 removed. We discussed quite a bit on the Dec surgery board that BS don't follow the same protocol. They biopsy the sentinel while you are under typically - if cancer is found my BS takes all. Others BS don't believe it is necessay. I was very upset when I found he took so many. I will always worry about lymphadema, but it does lessen my anxiety that cancer wasn't found in any of the others. It was a much more difficult healing process for me at least. It's 8 weeks later and I still have a little lingering numbness. You may want to ask your BS well in advance so you can discuss it. I found out the day before and didn't want to delay my surgery.
Moonflwr-I wish I was that brave! My right arm is taking such a beating still even w the port. My occ's office doesn't draw blood from the port and last week my blood was slow to come out. And I feel like the bp cuff bruised something inside my arm? Has anyone else had that?0 -
faithhopenluv
20 wow that's alot of nodes. The BS took 4 at the time of my MX but still 8 weeks later I still too have a bit of numbness AND a little heaviness in my left arm if I forget to elevate it, so am still mindfull of lymphademia. I've yet to have my port accessed but I'm thinking they may try tomorrow when I go for bloodwork. Can't say I've had the issue this far with the bp cuff.
I also applaud those with kids going through this along with the women that work full time!!! I am self employed and work from home and it's my slow time of year AND I don't have children. I guess you just to what you have to do though. We are preparing the house for sale mind you so there's lots to do regardless. My realtor is a neighbor so she said I can hang out at her house during showings if need be. A listing just went active on my street too so it will be interesting too see how fast it goes. Still a decent market here thankfully.
ali68
You're in the UK right? Is the protocol (chemo then surgery) standard there, in reading these threads seems to be similar to US protocol.? I'm in Canada and it seems to me that the majority of women I've talked with have surgery then chemo/rads. Not all, but it seems to be more the norm. I wonder if the UK and US are more cutting edge than here or if at the end of the day its case specific?
gritgirl
You've reminded me to start being pro active with the colace and sennicot. Re the acne, are you able to treat it? I didn't have have acne at all as a teen but I did develop cystic acne as an adult. In the past I had to enslist a dermatologist but some of the treatments are quite drying so I'm curious.
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myleftboob, apparently a clindamycin lotion is the thing. i can only hope it lessens the acne.
here's another topic. what are folks doing to be good to themselves? i wear my snuggly socks even to work, i eat what i want when i want, and i do my best to make sure i get good food on chemo day itself.
oh, and i celebrate every little bit of progress.
i'm the nicest to myself i've ever been. praying it sticks.
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gritgirl
Actually clindamycin is what I aways end up getting from the dermatologist and it works! It can be a little drying but the dermo used to tell me to put it on a bedtime only, then wash in the morning with water only, no soap. A good basic mosturiser after that. I use Cetaphil, no perfume, waterbased and soaks in nicely without being heavy or greasy.
On your other topic. I've recently re-discovered hot cocoa at bedtime, not the pre-mixed stuff but the old fashioned stuff where you have to add your own sugar so you can control it. It's helping me sleep. Remains to be seen if I'll like it during chemo though. Nodding in agreement about being nice to yourself.
A bit off topic here too.
I had an interesting comment from my DH yesterday. We were talking about some tasks that need to be done and I guess I looked a bit apprensive, he then said "well you're not going to be incapacitated are you?" I know he can't really relate and he seems to think I'll sail through the rest of my treatments like I did surgery. I mean I totally hope so but one never really knows. I always expect the worse and hope for the best. For this reason (although I didn't tell him) I'm glad he's the one coming with on Friday for my first infusion. I want him to see what it's actually like in the treatment centre. I can imagine we'll be seeing every spectrum of people being treated and I think this might give him a bit of a different perspective. I know he doesn't have the benefit of this wonderful place and I'm doing my best to be positive but he needs to be mentally prepared I think.
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Myleftboob, I think its so hard for the men to understand something they cant see. My first time I went to treatment I was terrified..I woke up 3am the night before to my husband throwing up in the bathroom. He had gotten the stomach flu and now in my most terrifying day, he couldnt go because there was no way i was taking him in with all those germs!
Needless to say I freaked out big time. My first time and my rock and supporter couldnt go. Luckily I was able to call my mom last minute to go with me. I think I worked myself up more than the actual treatment. The treatment itself was nothing. pretty easy. The hardest thing of the whole day was walking in and being the only one there under the age of 60. (I am 38.)
Now I have been 3 times, 2 Herceptins and 1 TC. The nurses know me by name and I am still the youngest person there but I also bring youth and spirit to help as well
My husband has been able to go now once and it is a very sombering effect on them. Seeing me get so sick after the first round was a huge wake up for him too( I ended up getting the stomach bug 3 days after chemo)It's a learning experience for us all, each day and each step. Just remember for right now to focus on you! Good luck with your first infusion!!
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JenH13
Oh good lord, getting a stomach bug after chemo!!! I know what you mean though about the guys not being able to relate to that they cannot see. Men also have a hard time with wanting to "fix" things are are apt to feeling helpless when they can't.
38 years old! So young. Mind you I don't feel old (I'm sure that's all about to change LOL) but I'm 49. I have a feeling I'm going to have alot more appreciation for the stuff my 84 year old Mom complains about LOL! Oh well, one day at a time.
Have you had surgery yet or are you having the chemo/rads first? We have a pretty close DX. I've already had surgery, UMX to the left in December.
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good morning my friends
Okay it is the day before and I feel that I am a gerbel on a wheel. So much to remember....I actually had to write out my drug list for the next few days and now I am crossing everything off as I take them. I have a gallon of water next to me and I just keep guzzling it down.
This is going to be a long day. The funny thing is, somedays I think the day drags and there isn't a lot to keep me busy but now that I know I will be under the weather, it seems that there are a million things that need my attention and because I am nuts, I think that everyone of them must be finished before I go to bed tonight.
Oh well off to start working thru those million chores LOL. If I get 5 of them done I will be lucky, maybe this is the real reason for the steriods, becuase women can not just relax and be sick. Take a steroid and you get all your chores done.
Then I am off to buy a little packet of drink umbrellas and will put one in my chemo bag. It will help me think of all of you.
Moonflower and Myleftboob - I know the two of you are joining me tomorrow and Friday so good luck!!!
(((Hugs)))
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mthrdee, i love the drink umbrella idea. i'd call that ab-fab. :-)
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Oh, Jenh, I bet that was not fun. My DH has been incredible and THAT is the strange part! I could never depend on him in the last ten years. I am enjoying this, buy not depending on him, I can't, from previous experience. We have been married for 38years. Oh, well, cancer causes real strange SEe in everyone, LOL!
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Thanks, mthrdee, But I want you to know I am buying the umbrellas too! Good luck to you and MLB!
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i'm reading and forming comments in my head and not rememberring who said what so i have to type!
myleftboob; to you-oh gosh-prepping house to move--we did that in 2008 and again in 2009 and i STILL have boxes that are marked as such and never opened! we have moved 4 times since winter of 2009--and i am just exhausted! we did this last move in between my dx and ANY tx so that i could be the one to physically pack etc--i may have already written about this and apologize if i'm repeating! my hubby is not physically able to do what needed to be done so it fell on me and a moving crew from church on one end and my kids put together a crew on this end--and it was exhausting! so i can sure ealte to anyone's spouse/etc making a comment about being incapacitated!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my hubby has a delicate bowel system and suffers terribly from anxiety and depression so he was sick as a dog the weekend before my first tx-today he is still in bed cuz he is having sympathy issues to what little i am going thru-i actually feel good today tho i am starting to notice bowels could back up and i just made note of an esophageal (sp?)type spasm starting-which i have had before in life- my headache has thankfully gone away . i feel a teensy neck and upper shoulder pain today but i could've slept funny or it could be the neulasta shot...
someone mentioned 20 nodes-wow--since i have yet to have surgery i have no clue how many will be removed-and i still wonder-if i am having chemo to shrink my lump and to kill off the nodes-how will bs know how many nodes to remove? will he just arbitrarily take all of them????? for soc sec disability they need to remove at least 10...what does that do to me going back to school and getting my degrees and working til i am 72???? i mean, i could get used to never working again but sure think i would need more income than just SSD ...although right now i have NO INCOME of my OWN past the small pension that pays my car payment....sorry-not whining--just thinking outloud!
oh-infusion room--i was the youngest there at 58 so you are not alone jen!!!
ok- going back to read more!
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Hi Everyone!
Big hugs to those of you starting this week!
Hopefully all goes well and it is easier than you anticipated. I found that the waiting was the worst part! I'm on day 16 after my first treatment and I feel fairly normal. My hair started falling out on Sunday, but I still have enough not to look bad yet. My scalp feels like a mild sunburn, tight, tingling, sore. If I run my hand through it I come up with a lot of hair, but not a handfull, so I try to keep my hands out of it. Its going though. I have my wig, scarves, and made a few hats, so I'm ready I think.
I really admire all of you with young children! It must be difficult. Don't be shy about asking for help.
My next treatment is next Tuesday. I'm counting backwards. I need 6 total so I did 6, Tuesday will be 5, and then only 4 more to go! Then I continue with Herceptin for the year. (stupid Her2+!)
You are all so helpful on this board. I feel so much better whenever I come here. I am trying to be normal at home and not talk about this all the time, but I like the open and sharing attitude of everyone here. Thanks!
Judy
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i think the drink umbrellas are great-i think we all need them!!!
as to a gerbil on a wheel--oh yea--as i sit here trying to be good to myself; i look around this teensy apt at the boxes which are yet to be unpacked; the piles of bills that i need to write checks for, the sewing projects that i WANT to do, the geneaolgy that i swore i wanted to work on while recouping(yea i know i just started tx!), the pics and wall hangings that are yet to be hung (that goes back to the readying the house to sell and moving-hard to be permanent after so much upheaval!) and just general crap--i am exhausted thinking of it and i am ON the steroids!!!!!
what am i doing to be good to me? well- sunday i took granddaughter (14 years old) to lunch at a japanese restaurant-new to me! and we walked the mall-twice-bought her some shoes for her winter prom and me big earrings! also her mom a birthday gift-cost me about $100 i really didn't have but worth it every cent! my honey and i have been slugs after 4 in the afternoon each day-we have only room for two big recliners in our living room- and my comp desk and a 6ft X 6ft entertainment ctr--so we sit and watch tv--wagon train and gunsmoke and rawhide and then whatever movies we can decide on....i like to sew and have attempted to start back on a project-just hand work for now--i spend hours playing solitaire on the computer when i get bored in the recliner..i have yet to start reading again- pre our move i read the entire elm creek quilter's series and haven't found what i want to read next....actually have about a week's worth of newspapers not touched... i love snail mail and want to write letters but haven't...i walk the dog only cuz she has to go out-the sidewalks around our place aren't too great for walking right now and i hate to drive to the mall to walk- tho i may start if the weather doesn't improve soon...
i have found that i, too, am eating what i want when i want and so far am not feeling nausea-thank God! again; i'm only on day 3(? tx was monday so mon tues wed) of 1st tx (AC). i am praying that tomorrow i can get up and move to go sit at my daughter's to wait for her couch delivery and then hit the grocery store for a few things.
i've done some online shopping and browsing and i love pinterest..
one thing i am really having trouble with is that my sweetie is clinging to me- i don't have privacy and when i plan to do something that doesn't include him i feel like a prison warden ....he is older by 15 years, has physical impairments, absolutely no friends or family here -my kids and grands are here and they tolerate him for me -long story/history-sometimes i feel like he tries to control me but now i think he is scared and wants to be part of what is happening.....but i need space....
i love to journal and actually took a new book along to tx-didn't write anything in ittho i printed out a pretty butterfly with teh saying taht today is the first day of the rest of my life cuz i looked at first tx as that!!! -sometimes i save emails to friends-and maybe some of these posts and will just glue them in! so if i ramble sometimes it's for my own benefit more than anything any of you want to know--sorry!! consider yourselves labrats in that respect-and i mean that lovingly cuz we are all in this journey together!!!!
and my 40th high school reunion is this august--i don't know if i'll go.....
and now i am rambling!
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good gracious i need to learn to post fewer words!!!!
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myleftboob- I havent had surgery yet. Found out on Jan 11, then went through a series of what I felt like were lab rat tests lol mri, echocardiogram, CT scan, port surgery, met with the oncologist, met with the surgeon, met with 2nd opinion surgeon and then wham started on Feb 2nd with Herceptin and TC on Feb 3rd. Glad my DR is agreesive too as the sitting around and waiting was the worst part. Right now if we stay on schedule I will be having surgery in June sometime. I will do a BMX even though right now its only on the right. Given my young age and everything we have a strong suspicion its genetic. I dont want to go through this again so I say take em both! Plus I will then be able to have perky boobs the rest of my life!
Love the umbrella idea! My first TC my best friend from high school went with me. It almost seemed wrong that her and I had such a good time while sitting there. we laughed and joked, talked with the nurses about soap operas and then looked up some good looking guy pics of those stars. Even the nurses were laughing with us. It made it sooooo much easier to have her there with me. So I guess things happen for a reason sometimes.
Does anyone have the experience of hair loss? I saw like 4 pieces of hair today and of course started worrying my time is starting. I will be 14 days from first treatment on Friday and I hear thats about when it starts. A good friend of mine is going with me and my 9 yrold daughter tomorrow to pick out material. She is going to make me caps with scarves and then matching headbands for my daughter to try to help her go through this too. Anyone else have any ideas?
Ok I better get back to work since I am out tomorrow for Herceptin! Good luck all the ladies starting today and tomorrow. You will all do fabulous!!
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Lumpynme
I really know the feeling about the boxes. I remember moving about 6 times when I split with my first busband about 16 years ago. Then when I met my DH I helped him move. I'm a pro LOL! we have been in this house for about 6.5 years and I still have unopened boxes! I did however have a couple of garage sale to get rid of the stuff I really never used. We pick up so much crap. I'm not too too much of a clutter bug either. Twice a year I go through clothes and small stuff I never use and donate or throw out, not really big into kitchen gadgets either. Our last big move before this place I was working about 60 hours a week or more. A month before the move my DH got seriously injured at work and was and could barely roll over in bed unassisted! I did a little each night and on the weekends and ended up hiring movers for the day of. Best money I ever spent! It cost me $700 even with a tip. The last move I had friends and family, spent at least $300 of food and booze never mind hiring a truck and had things broken along with some not showing up until party time. Wouldn't hesitate to do it again either.
Thankfully DH totally gutted the garage last summer. Our biggest job will be where we had 2 storage areas in the basement (thats where all of the Christmas stuff and boxes were hiding LOL among other stuff). He pulled them out into the sitting area of the rec room so he could put in a full bathroom and drywall the other area. It looks like an episode of hoarders in that room!
I'm hoping I can harness some energy on the steroid days! I hoping to be able to paint the bathroom and a few touchups here and there in other rooms.
On top of that I have to complete a course by the 23rd!! Its onlline thank god!
Now I'm rambling. Nervous energy for sure. I don't start the pre chemo steroids until tomorrow!!
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JenH13
Yeah, had all of the above just the reverse order, the same with the waiting. I don't blame you for wanting to do the BMX one iota. I actually asked my surgeon the day before if he thought there was any merit in that for me too. With me though, no history whatsoever so I have thus far trusted his judgment.
Love the matching hats/scarves that your friend is going to make for you and your daughter.
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JenH13 - I am 14 days tomorrow and I am shedding, I wet my hair this am in the shower and had about 8 strands in my hands. Not a lot, but not usual. And everytime I look down I see a hair that has found it's way to my black sweater today. I have a tiny bit of tingling in my scalp. I got my wig last night - I ordered it through the mail. I decided if I hated it I would go to the local place but I wanted to take a chance this way. I really like it. I love the color - better than my own actually. It will take some getting used to, but it isn't as bad as I feared. Also have quite a few hats and might get another wig or 2. I feel like I will despise it if it is the only thing I wear for the next 6 months or so.
Lumpyme - ask your surgeon what his plan is with the nodes. Keep in mind when they take '20' they take patches of flesh and sort it out in pathology. They are so small, it isn't a one by one thing. ....And take care of yourself first, only then can you even think about being there for others.
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myleftboob; i took the qtr off from school which was good cuz we moved about two weeks after it would have started- but i miss school- have to get enrolled here and those classes start in may-not sure where i will be i tx by then but it's a goal to look for..by then maybe at least i can do online- too much on my plate this qtr to have tried-glad i was smart enough not to!!!!!
with our last move; i went thru many boxes, pitched stuff, donated to goodwill, and burned papers...i still have a few that i really should purge some more but they went to storage for the time being- this apt is a living room , a bedroom with a small walkin closet, a somewhat useful small kitchen-no storage space! and a teeny entry hall with closet. there is a linen closet that is being used for all of our "pantry"-and there are 4 large boxes that never got unpacked of foodstuffs--not to mention the kitchen extras in storage! the kitchen table still has stuff on it from moving day and i really need to declutter it-may never use it to eat but would like to at least be able to put kitchen stuff on it! and it's really too big for the kitchen but can't find a small one that isn't too much $$$.we have a tiny patio out our living room slider but i don't know that it will be used much once the weather breaks cuz we are right on the parking lot--it's nice cuz we don't have to walk far or up stairs but the neighborhood leaves alot to be desired...
some of my stuff in storage is for patio and outdoors- and of course christmas and other holidays-also books- i purged many but cannot give up all of them-some are very old and i pray that they don't get damaged... and then, there are things that i hope to someday be able to put out in my home- pillows, chotcke's etc...and other clothes...last nite during my heat flare i could not find a comfy sleeveless nitie so i know that they are in storage- need to change them out for the flannel brigade that is here!
oh-and i still have stuff at my mother's in michigan-obvioulsy not anything i need right now but some stuff is precious to me as keepers and some( Much!!) that will be pitched- due to the snow and ice that we had before moving i opted to wait and go up this summer to go thru and pitch or carry here.... just too much on the plate at the time!
moving day this year; we got 12 miles from home when the car trailer holding my car ( we had a 26ft uhaul and hubby's pickup to drive) blew out a tire-we lost 2.5 hours of daylight but we were lucky the sun was out and friends stopped and waited with us-then hubby got the uhaul stuck in mud in the parking lot here and it cost us an extra $200 the next day to get it towed out!ugh! he is stressing money- i am just trying to be frugal- we'll make it by the grace of God but i want to move as soon as we can-to a larger apt or small house..lease is not up til end of december but we may break it due to some circumstances here in the bldg. will depend on how stickler she is about money and lease...she knew i had cancer when we came and this place is not conducive to rest.hard to find rentals in january and with a dog and cat-many take cats here but not dogs....
ok-time to quit-sorry if this bores everyone else!
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faithhopenluv; when i see my bs i will ask about the nodes-i am not even scheduled with him til after chemo-end of march so in april sometime- but i was wondering-not obsessing! i figured they would have to take a patch cuz of their size!!!! thx!
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Wow, I cant imagine moving with this! Blessings to all who are doing that! I moved 5 times in 10 years, lived in 4 states. I COULD NOT DO THAT NOW! You guys are amazing people. Probably should say we have been In the same place for 27 years now, though! LOL
Jenh, I am not looking forward to that either, and it will be in about 15 days for me as I start tomorrow. What a strange journey.0 -
GREAT NEWS. I have just come back from seeing my surgeon who I love to bits. My lymph nodes and breast lump have shrunk by 50% after two chemo's. I can't even feel the breast lump now and I had to have a clip put in.
This makes me very happy.0 -
Ali68
That's fantastic. Give me great comfort that all of this actually works!! Yay!
faithhopnluv
Yes the hair, well what can I say, I'm a couple of weeks behind
moonflwr912
At this point we're prepping the house to get it listed as opposed to moving. I hope to have it on the market in a month and then we'll know what moving day is. We're going into an apartment likely for a year so lots will go to storage.
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ali 68 What wonderful news. I hope things continue along this good course for you
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ali68
whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
that is the best thing i have heard today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Ali68-yay!!!!!!! Happy for you! Made my day!
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