February 2012 Chemo
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Let me preface this to say that I am not a pink person, not because its not pretty but I don't think it is my color. I am more an orange and purple person. However I get the whole pink thing and how in my pre-cancer days when I saw pink it did make me think of cancer. However I have not felt the need to go out and buy pink nor have I rec'd alot of pink stuff. I have rec'd a great coffee mug that states....cancer ain't for sissies and it is in camoflogue (bad speller LOL) colors.
Ok, drum roll please.....I did however this weekend fall in love with PINK!!!!! I have this terrific group of 8 girls on my block that I have been friends with since I moved here 10 years ago. We have lots of fun, and do all the usual girls stuff whenever we can. This past Saturday I was invited to one of the girls houses in the evening to see the video from her son's wedding last year. I was exhausted, had been working almost 60 hours over the previous 7 days to roll-out a work project and had to work again on Sunday. But I figured I would stop over for an hour or so and then cut out early to sleep. Can I just preface the rest of this by saying, I put on no make-up, barely ran a brush thru my hair and ran over to her house in sweats and an old t-shirt. We are that great a bunch of friends that this is normal acceptable behavior LOL.
Open the door, walk in and notice that everthing is pink......pink tablecloths, pink balloons, everyone is wearing pink, and all the husbands are there too (wearing pink). I am now completely puzzled as I stand in front of this gigantic pink and white flower arrangement and say out loud...SHIT, I didn't know it was a valentines party?!?!? Immediately they are all laughing and saying ...No Its Your Pink Party.
These wonderful, amazing, caring friends had planned a party for me so I would know how much they loved me before I started my chemo. It was the most perfect thing they could have done for me. There were packages with all kinds of items for my chemo bag, amazon gift certs for my kindle, lotions with and without smells and scarves and hats galore.
So while I don't know if PINK will ever be my color of choice, I do know that for me, everytime I see pink from now on, it will remind me about this truly amazing group of girlfriends I have!!
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Oh yes, chapstick! I'm the same, lose them as fast as I buy them.I like the thought of the little umbrellas though. I think I'll at least stick one in my water or better yet, Gatorade LOL! They'll all think I've gone mad at the chemo centre!! Love it
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Sorry Edited for Name (Doh!) Mthrdee
That was a really nice thing for your friends to have done for you. I guess pink's not so bad after all.
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Mthrdee, LOL at the umbrella - I'll have to remember that for tx #2! It looks like you're all set with your bag. I too found that I took way more than I needed but it's better to be on the safe side. I chewed on the ice only while I was getting the epirubicin infusion (similar to adriamycin). As for the mani-pedi, I was told to go before treatment, but that if you decide to go after, take your own instruments. Like faithhopenlove, I have a ton of hand sanitizers and lip balm everywhere. Per someone's suggestion somewhere I can't remember, I keep a bag in my purse that has the following: lotion, sanitizer, lip balm, Tylenol, a thermometer, Kleenex, Pepcid, Biotene gum and small bottle of mouth rinse, and any other meds I may need. The bag can be carried separately or moved around if I change purses.
And I'm with all of you anti-pink ladies. I never really wore it before or had much of anything in pink - I tend to wear mostly black or other dark colors. Now, it's disgusting how much pink stuff I have and so much of it adorned with the ribbon!! I don't want to offend the people who have given it to me because I know they just wanted to do something for me, but I hope it stops!0 -
mthrdee: Tears of joy as I read about your pink party. I'm envious. All my friends live out of my area so my only contact is via phone. I'm so happy for you. That would definitely change my opinion of pink as well!
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mthrdee...how awesome-what a wonderful group of friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok- i'm home-was gone about 5.5 hours including drive time. the longest part was waiting for the pharmacy onsite to prep my cocktail!
right now i am starting a mini headache but i really think it's a lacka coffee thing-am going to tylenol and try to nap after a potty stop--flushing fluids as best i can.
tonite there happens to be a support group mtg if i feel up to it and i am going to try to go..we'll see
yes, christine is today as well- hope she comes thru as well as i feel so far!
i'll be back but for now need to nap!!!!!!!!!!!
thx for being here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Good to hear lumpynme! Hope your coming days go OK.
And yes mrthdee, that is a great reason to love pink - what wonderful friends you have to do that for you!0 -
Yay, Lumpy!have a good nap. Glad you made it. Mrthdee, I could be persuaded to like pink again if I had friends like That! So fun! WOW, I hope you enjoyed it.
Christine, hope your treatment went well too.0 -
Had my first chemo treatment today. It was snowing and we had to go slow, but still got there on time. They ended up with a lot of cancellations though.
I did not like the room I was in very well, they have everyone in recliners in a half-circle. I could have been in a chair with a curtain to pull around it, but no one else had their curtain pulled, and we chose chairs off to the side so we could see out the enormous glass wall instead of having our backs to it. I liked looking out the window. I tried to not look at other people too much. Everyone looked depressed and/or tired and many people just slept.
As soon as I sat in the recliner I started to cry. I felt so scared and so bad. The nurses were so nice and one gave me a hug. Poor DH looked like he might cry too. My onc sat with us for a while and answered questions. He gave me an rx for Ativan at home and also had them put some in my IV (which helped IMMENSELY). I made a joke about drinking but he said he feels drinking is fine, just not more than two a day!!! I was like, OMG! I normally might drink 2-3x a MONTH. But that's good to know, in case we go out somewhere.
Accessing the port didn't really hurt, just a quick pinch. They encouraged me to layer on the Emla cream thicker next time. I didn't feel much of anything during all the bags of stuff they gave me.
We spent our time playing card games. I made a few phone calls. We brought our laptap and took advantage of the free WiFi. They provided me with a free lunch; DH's lunch was $5.
Things went smoothly and we were out of there by mid-afternoon. Other than feeling tired (which could be from stress or the Ativan as well as the chemo), I feel normal. I just drank a cup of hot tea and ate some saltines, and everything tasted the same. I feel paranoid, wondering what I am going to feel and when. But my onc assured me that my regime (TCH) is pretty mild compared to a lot of other treatments, and he is confident I'll feel fine.
Wednesday I go for my neulesta shot, and I go for herceptin the next two Mondays. The Monday after that, we start all over again.
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What chemo are most ladies on ? I'm on FEC who else is on this.
Cheers0 -
christina0001
I'm happy it went well (as well as it could), you made me choke up though. Glad the Ativian helped too.
lumpynme
Same to you as well. I had a sympathy nap after I read your post LOL!
I was eagerly awaiting both of you posting to see how it went. Feeling a little less freaked out now.
ali68
Personally I'll be doing Taxotere/Procytox (I think its the same as Cycotox) x 4, then Herceptin
Moonflwr912
Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts!! Picked up a few hats/beanies and a scarf today, kind of surreal trying them on when I got home though. Need to get over it.
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Hello honey, I used to imagine the chemo treatment as a (pac man) like the game eating up all the cancer cells, and that helped me get through and it must have worked for I am now a 18 yr Survivor(Praise God) take it from me just stay Positive and ALWAYS have HOPE these things and of course my God and family got me to Now. GOD Bless msphil (Idc, stage 2, 3 nodes involved and L mast, and chemo and rads and 5 yrs on Tamoxifen
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msphil - thanks for the positive post - that is awesome to hear from an EIGHTEEN YEAR survivor!!!
I am on TCH. I'm a little nervous about the neulestra shot Wednesday (sounds like it makes a lot of people achey). Also worried about taking the steroids tomorrow and if I will get all swollen and gross.
I thought the ham we ate for dinner tonight tasted a little different, but DH said he thinks it's just because it was a different brand. who knows...not a big deal if that's all I have to contend with.
Myleftboob-yeah the hair thing is so weird. I really like one of my hair pieces with a hat so have hope that you may find something that gives you a sense of reassurance. The first couple times I looked at wigs, I was scared/upset/miserable...the third time was better.
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Glad you Both made it through the first one. I will be a wreck tomorrow after I get my port. That means this sh*t is really going to happen. Having been postponed a month already, I will feel better once I start.
Christina, you are on the same Tx I am. I hope we both have easy SE's. Actually, I hope that for all on this board. Much love.0 -
Christina and lumpynme, congrats on making it through your first tx successfully today! That's one down. Hope the days coming are manageable.
Ali68, I'm on FEC too - I'm so glad to finally connect with someone else who has the same regimen! I'm doing 6 cycles, how about you?0 -
MLB, and Christina , I ordered a couple of caps, dug out all the scarfs I have and washed them, fond a wig that one of my friends said looked like me just home from the beauty shop. So I have the hair thing covered.(pun intended)LOL.
Msphil, thanks for the encouragement.0 -
BTW, I made it through my haircut OK, only shed a few tears. I went to my yoga for women with cancer/cancer survivors class first and it was just what I needed - I was able to cry a little, get support from the ladies, and get relaxed from the yoga! Then, 2 of my close friends came over (one came with 2 bottles of champagne!) and sat with me while a stylist friend of my DH cut my curly locks. I was doing OK until he gathered up a big section of hair and cut it off - I just felt this huge weight fall off my head and I feared up. The girls were right there to talk me through it so the tears dried up quickly and never came back. At the end, I have to admit it wasnt too bad - I look totally different but it's kind of cute. My DH needs to take a lesson in sensitivity though - on the one hand, he took the kids out while the haircut was taking place so they didn't have to see me if I broke down so that was nice, but when he came back home and saw my haircut, he said, "It's not that bad." Not quite the comment I wanted to hear, but it didn't really bother me. My kids are still trying to get used to it, but I had to tell them that they shouldn't get used to it because it will be short lived. So, the first transition is done but the bigger one is yet to come - I hope I handle it as well!
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mthrdee, how wonderful of your friends to do that for you.
i can't keep up with you all. i am on a weekly cocktail of taxol and herceptin.
my side effects are:
- an acne-like rash on my face and neck
- constipation
- a bit of nauseau
- indigestion
- tiredness
- cramping of muscles in my legs
- and now my scalp is hurting (goodbye hair)
The decadron keeps me awake so i need to just suck it up and take the lorazepam and benadryl mix on nights when i'm on decadron so i can sleep. otherwise, i'm wired and up.i feel like an 80 year old man. i fart at awkward moments, am incredibly committed to bowel movements (i have never, ever had constipation), and just am exhausted. i'm waiting to see if i scratch my balls.
still, the more side effects, the more it's working on the cancer and i pray for cancer to go bye bye
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Greetings everyone.
Moonflwr912, thank you for asking about me.
I am have a very difficult time deciding whether to do chemo or not and the fact is that I am leaning toward not doing it. I had a long discussion with my MO friday, and he said it was very marginal as to whether it would benefit me or not. My oncotype was very favorable, (5) but I have one micromet. It kind of boils down to whether you trust the oncotype, particularly in a male. But its all I have to go on, they don't have much separate info for men. My MO indicated that he felt that I have about a 3% chance that chemo would help me. In other words, they would have to treat 33 people with chemo to help 1 person. I have prepared myself for the nausea, the hair loss, and the other problems, but I remain very concerned about longer term side effects. I am not convinced that doing chemo would be the right thing. My MO felt that the data indicates that I would not likely increase my life expectancy with chemo, in fact I may shorten it (all things considered). I know that those here are committed to chemo, and I have prepared myself for it, but I may cancel. I have to decide this week. If I am going to do it, he wants me to start Friday.
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lol gritgirl, I sure needed a laugh, sorry for all those crummy SE's your having. I can't even remember all that I will be on and how long, good thing I meet with the dr this week, at least this time I will hear what she has to say now that the fog has lifted (first dx fog). I am a bit freked out over hte port and sentinel node biopsy, I hate going under.
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i was able to nap a bit this afternoon;myleftboob i wondered who that was snoring! j/k!
we did go to the support group mtg; i'm glad that we went -gals from all stages- a 15 year survivor down to a gal who started last week then me....
somone from ACS spoke; looking for people to drive for their Road to Recovery or whatever it's called.
we also talked about RADS;many of the gals are experienced and the support leader is a nurse in RAD --it helped me a bit more!
so- we'll go next month.
i'm just really tired....took my tylenol (still slight headache) and a claritin to get ready for tomorrow's neulast. will take another compazine before bed ;maybe an ativan....feel like a walking drug store already!
sleeping--i ihave found that i almost do better in the recliner and i don't know why....
oh-infusion room--well lit not too comfy not too uncomfy--12 "stations" walled off by half walls- when seated i could not see the folks next to me. i wanted to sit where i could look out at the courtyard but they said first go round they needed me closer to nurse's station (in the center). overall the experience was good. the "stations" are very close quarters - a full wall or even a curtain may have made me claustraphobic! i put the foot rest up and read a pamphlet about their center for mind body and spirit, talked to my sweetie man and basically chilled.... they provided a curved neck pillow with a clean pillow case so that was nice! i drank hot tea and munched on some mini pretzels......everyone helpful....my PICC line made life a piece of cake!
christina glad yours was overall good.....
anyhow-g'nite!
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Hello everyone,
I am new to the boards but figured it was time for me to "get on board" I was diagnosed in mid Jan and started chemo on Feb. 3. I am still in a bit of whirlwind on everything going on so i dont even know if I say what I have or what treatment I am doing right! I am stage 2 IDC ER+/PR+/HER2+ Grade 3. I have had 2 doses of Herceptin which I believe I saw someone else is doing weekly just like me for 18 weeks. And then I do Taxotere and Carboplatin every 3 weeks for 6 treatments. I think I am still in a state of shock and dont believe its happening.
So far its hard to tell what chemo effects i had as I also got the stomach bug from my kids 4 days after I had chemo. Today is 10 days post chemo and I feel really good except for some mouth sores. 2 days ago I could barely get out of bed though. The thing that scares me the most as vain as it might be is losing my hair. I know it scares my little girl too but we try to think of all the pretty hats and scarves we can wear.
Now that I have finally been brave enough to post I will try to figure this forum out and check back in with my fellow Feb chemo friends
Good luck everyone!!0 -
Lumpynme & Christina. Thought about you this morning and continuing to pray for you both. Hope you both have restful sleep and only slight side effects.
Gritgirl - you so make me laugh. The gas is killing me and I haven't even begun. I am going to tuck that piece of info away regarding the decadron. I know SLEEP is really important to my health and everyone else's sanity so if I must lorezapan I will
Firstcall - i pray for peace for you with whatever decision you make. For some of us there really isn't that much of a choice so I can only imagine having to decide this. Sounds like you are armed with sound info regarding it either way. There really isn't much out there for men going through this.
Ymac - good for you and the haircut. Wow. I am leaning toward doing that privately but I can't decide. You were surrounded with love which is so important.
Msphil - love the pacman analogy. Speaks to my era.
Mnflwr - I thought the port would be scarier than it ended up being. I definitely have some mild discomfort which they said I should expect for a little while. I dont have any cushion in that area - spare tissue - so it is just right there and the little line to the vein is right under the skin. You can trace it visually not just by touch - lol. At least I finally realized that the dark purple line above the port was not the incision itself but some operating color covered by the glue. When the glue flaked the purple went with it and the incision line is quite faint 6 days post port insertion.
To all. I have been filling out copayment relief paperwork and am so thankful for the groups out there offering this. If only turbotax would cooperate and allow me to "see" my 2010 tax return. It's not as if I didn't use these over and over again last year for the guys' FAFSAs and other things and yet. Can't put my hand on one angle copy. I am such a doofus.
Ali68 - I will be on ACT. First AC every other week for 8 weeks and then the T for either the same or for 12 weeks each week along with Herceptin. I am going through being accepted into a trial right now so we will see.
Mthrdee. Love your Pink Party. Again .... What love! So wonderful to be surrounded by good friends who care so deeply.
I cannot keep up with everyone today but sendi g love and prayers your way as I read each of your posts.
I actually took that iron supplement today along with all my increased Ron food intake. I will be a walking iron woman soon!
And ......drum roll ...... I saw my PS today and I can take a real bath, swim if I care to, and best of all ...... Bigger trill ...... I can RUN! I am so excited. Tomorrow no matter what the temp I am going to pound a bit of pavement!!!!
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Dltnhm- Run, girl, Run! enjoy! Thanks for the info for the port- unfortunately, I have a LOT more tissue than you seem to have, they usually have to cut deep. But I survived the pacemaker insertion, and this will be quite similar. (did I mention 2011 was the pits for me? LOL)
Firstcall= do whatever feels right to you, we all wrestled with the decision.
Ymac- the salon where I bought my wig said to call when the hair starts to come out, they will buzz me and fit my wig at that time. I am glad you took the first step - I cut mine real short about a month ago when I thought I was starting chemo the next week. I think everyone will get used to your short hair quickly.
JenH- welcome to the boards. You, Christina (who started today), and I are all on the same cocktail - I start Thursday.
Gritgirl- I don't want to wish you more SE's, but I am glad the ones you have mean you are kickin c;'s *ss! LOL
Jap- there is a forum about SNB- not sure where, but you can search. Don't let them kid you - it does hurt- but just for a second for each injection- usually a total of 4 - all in all less than 10 seconds total, and they do spray a number on it first. The hard part is staying still with your arms above your head while it works. not fun, but, our favorite word (not) doable!
To all that I have not mentioned personally, you are still in my heart. Much love
Monica
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Hi all, my name's Angela.
I am 32, and live in Christchurch, New Zealand. I was diagnosed with IDC in December 2011, and had a right modified radical mastectomy in January 2012. There were three tumours, largest 22mm. But my lymph nodes were clear.
I met my Medical Oncologist on Friday. He recommended chemotherapy, followed by five years of hormone treatments. I left with a folder of information, and have been mulling it over. There are so many potential side-effects! But I'm sure it will be worth it in the long run. And I intend to have a very long run.
My follow up appointment is on Thursday. My course of chemo should start within 2 weeks of giving my go-ahead, so I'll either begin in very late February or very early March.
It has all been very scary and emotionally draining. There is always something new to learn about and make decisions about. I actually haven't worked for a couple of months, and I will start seeing a counsellor soon. I thought it might help to talk to others on this forum.
Sorry, I haven't read the whole thread. Just thought I would introduce myself to my fellow February chemo patients.
I hope everybody is doing okay.
Kia kaha (this means "be strong" in Maori),
Angela0 -
We are a great bunch here and so pleased we can give comfort and laugh as well. I have come to terms with the fact that the cooling cap may not work for all my chemo's. I will try one more time and see but feel strong enough now if I do lose my hair. Also my three girls 23,16 & 13 have seen my hair thin and they have said get the wig out mum.
My eldest daughter said last night that my 16 yr old is worried and upset. One of her friends, the mum died of breast cancer and her dad took to the bottle and he died. I have been so wrapped up in getting through this and I thought the girls were doing fab. What do you do? I don't want to talk about this cancer to them all the time it's so hard.0 -
ali68, I would tell your 16 year old that you are doing all you can to prevent any recurrence and that you will be fine. Having your kids worry about you is the worst.
Why not just keep using the caps? Try keeping them on for the 4 hours after and maybe the 50 minutes ahead. Good luck!
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lol @ gritgirl - you crack me up! I am putting my faith in Jaime Lee Curtis and eating some Proactiv yogurt for breakfast right now, along with some whole wheat toast.
For the SNB - the first three injections, I barely felt at all, and the fourth and last one hurt like a @$#*^! But the injections themselves were quick, and overall it wasn't bad. The incision site hasn't bothered me much at all. I have had more aggrevation with my port than anything else, I hate for anything to touch it.
JenH - I am doing TCH with the H every week too. I get what you are saying when you say you still feel in shock. Once or twice a day I really feel like it's all been some weird, horrible mistake and that I'm not really supposed to be doing this. It makes me feel really upset when I start thinking like that though. When did you start getting mouth sores? How bothersome are they?
dltmhn - we did paperwork yesterday for co-pay help too! What a relief! Writing out a check for $500+ yesterday HURT, that is money I have set aside for school. Thank goodness for student loans, I will be taking plenty out next year. You have fun running!
Welcome galena. I am also 32 years old. All the information they give out is so overwhelming! I look at it a little bit, and then hide it in a dresser drawer until I am ready to look at it again. And sometimes I just don't want to know. That really annoys my mother but I just can't take it all in, and I trust my onc. Plus I don't want to overthink about side effects and make myself have them. lol I am definitely capable of that.
ali - so sorry the cold caps are not working for you.
And sorry about your girls too. No advice from me...but I bet there are plenty of moms here with good advice, and your cancer center might have a social worker with some good advice too.Started feeling funny around 11:30pm last night. Woke up with ...I barely know how to describe it...mild waves of something. I did not know if it was nausea or anxiety or something else. Around midnight I decided it was starting to feel like nausea so I took the Compazine. I took it again at 5am too. Woke up several times with these weird "waves" and also some mild hot flashes. But it was all really mild. It made me feel worried that it would get worse, but it never did. Now I am off to work and hopefully I will be too busy to overanalyze everything I am physically feeling!
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good morning! glad to see new faces tho sorry that you have to be here!
actually had a pretty good sleep last nite. this morning is my neulasta shot- i am such a wuss about a shot--i think i'm more anxious about it than i was yesterday's AC tx.
i did the EVOO mouth swish this morning just in case and had some activia oikos yogurt so far. need to really start pushing water tho!
we got about another inch of snow and i am soooooooooooooo ready for spring........i want to get out and walk and in this neighborhood it is too dangerous on the snow and ice!
need to do some straightening around the apt and am counting on the decadron to help motivate me! that starts this morning!
ali68; i think that you need to talk with your girls- don't tell them too much but remind them that each of us with cancer is different- our bodies as well as our treatments. remind them that you are doing all you can to fight yours and ask them if they have questions. and as to the dad taking to the bottle and dying-accident? overdosse? simply his body gave out? the girls need to know taht you are there and that you need each other and that each person...each family...each case is different! my 14 y.o granddaughter was talking suicide a few weeks back "tired of everyone (she ) loves leaving her" meaning her greatgrandparents and possibly me....she is getting help thru therapy and some drugs....maybe your girls need to talk to someone with some training?the only other thing i can offer is a hug!
big hugs to all on this journey!! and, if you're constipated today , eat lots of Valentine's chocolate!!!!
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Ali, I have a 9 yo son and a soon to be 12 yo daughter. My son didn't really react to my BC diagnosis at first but when Steve Jobs died, it scared him because that's when he equated cancer with death. I let him know that I have a different cancer and that my doctors were telling me that I would be OK; I continue to reassure him whenever he gets upset. My daughter has been a wonder throughout this process. She has always had some emotional issues so we've had her in therapy for several years. One of the first people called when I was diagnoses was her therapist because I wanted advice on how to tell the children. She told me to be up front and honest with them and to continue talking to them about what I wa going through. To my surprise my daughter has been very grown up about it all; she actually figured out I had cancer before I told them and then started researching it on her own and asking me a ton of questions. For the most part, she has been very supportive and caring. Unfortunately, now that I've cut my hair and I'm about to lose it all, the support is beginning to wane. Part of it, I think, is the fact that this will be the first real public sign of the illness plus she's seen how upset I've been about it and she's never really seen me show vulnerability before so it concerns her. But, it's also just her being a preteen and not thinking before she speaks, so she has been a bit cruel by saying things like she doesn't want me to be around her in public when I lose the hair - I try to just take these comments in stride. The conintuing therapy has also been a great help to her.
The main thing I do with both of them is to reassure them that my doctors are very positive about my long term prognosis. I also know a number of other women who are survivors, including both of their best friends grandmothers, and I point this out to them. So Ali, see if you can find a therapist for your daughter and don't worry about talking her "too much" about your cancer, it may be exactly what she needs.0
