Why was I stronger DURING treatment than I am now?
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i am still struggling with gut issues, no dx yet but timing coincided with starting anastrozole, which I have stopped taking now.......strange as it sounds but going to push for a colonoscop
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JJ, I had a hysterectomy and oophorectomy at age 45 for ovarian cancer. Because of the diagnosis, I had to have a big abdominal incision. The surgery and recovery weren't that bad. I did a lot of exercises to strengthen my core muscles beforehand. I think that helped make my recovery easier. I had hoped to not go on estrogen therapy, but the menopause symptoms were horrid for me especially the mood swings. I also was having several migraines a week. Needless to say, I had to stop ERT when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Yes, you will likely get menopause symptoms. Everybody is different so maybe they won't be that bad. I Haven't sprouted hairs on my chin! The girly parts are definitely drier. I've also had reduced libido, etc. That whole issue has been problematic for me. It isn't for everybody. I switched from Zoloft to Effexor to help with the hot flashes as well as continue to treat depression. I also take Gabapentin for the mood swings. Both help some. Switching from Tamoxifen to Femara (letrozole) seems to have helped my mood a bit too. I agree with LiLi that you should bring all of this up with your doc before the surgery so they can help you with things to moderate the estrogen withdrawal. Good luck with the surgery. I hope it goes smoothly, and you jump this next hurdle easily.
LiLi, it sucks swampwater that they didn't get enough tissue for pathology on your lung biopsy! WTF? Unbelievable. The thing must be damn small if they couldn't get it with all that technology and expertise. I hope you get some answers at your appointment Tuesday.
Lily, so sorry you're still experiencing GI issues. I hope you can get a diagnosis soon.
Bosom, they told you that 75 mg of Effexor was a high dose? That's ridiculous. I'm taking 225 mg. I started on a lower dose, and it was raised until it helped. As you found, 75 mg helped very little. It's the recommended starting dose. I see a nurse practitioner who specializes in psychiatric meds so I'm confident she knows what she's doing in prescribing this. My PCP sent me to her.
Winter, please be careful in trying to get off this medication. Why do you want to just stop it instead of tapering? Everything I've read said it's not a good idea to do this. If you insist you want to get off it, won't your doctor help you with a schedule to taper it? If not, how about trying another doctor? I've read where dizziness and disorientation are among the withdrawal symptoms so driving is not recommended. Please be careful! I'd love to not take this or any antidepressants, but it's not worth feeling like I do without them. And risking serious withdrawal is sure not worth it.
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2Tabbies-Thank you for your note. I am so on the fence about the stupid ovaries. Part of me wants them removed because it's less to worry about in the future and my BC was so estrogen positive and part of me is afraid of crashing from mood swings...etc. I have horrible PMS and I was hoping to be free of those symptoms. Maybe this is too much but I've been reading that orgasm can also be affected? That freaks me out. I've lost all fun sensation in the breast (second base is totally gone)...now if third base goes...I'm like totally done. The 6 wk recovery time also bites. Having those muscles cut will not be fun. They will use the same line I had for cesarean
LiLi- there are no words for what you are going through. I would be angry. it's not fair what they do to people and they seem to forget that every procedure we have done affects our minds as well.
Today is "Family Day" here so it's another day of waiting for my breast biopsy results. I'm pounding away at my borrowed sewing machine. Finished the lap quilt for my DD and last night turned a tankini bathing suit top into a bikini top. I also baked up a storm and sent it home with my DD. I friggen can't sit still even though I'm tired.
Hugs to all,
JJ
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Reading all these posts I am just done with doctors or whoever in health care doesn't LISTEN to us. My gosh, BB, they just assume we wouldn't know if our mole got bigger. If they really thought it was a problem it would have been nice if they sent you to a plastic to remove a lesion on your FACE. Lili-Ri- to not tell you about a collapsed lung for all that time! JJ- praying you get results and answers and directions soon. If STRESS leads to cancer then why don't they all worry about THAT? Gosh.
I am sorry you are all going through this. It is hard to be in the medical field and no one is perfect but I think the game can be stepped up a bit in some places. Wrapping my arms around all of you and praying you get peace and answers.
Here are a few wonderful sayings I have saved for just such a purpose as there are many times we all just think this world is nuts. I have decided that although there are times (and with you ladies one can certainly understand!) anger is righteous and justified, but I am still not letting it eat at my happiness because some things I cannot change. I do stand up for myself though and that is never wrong....
Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it. Wisdomelifequotes.com
My tolerance for idiots is extremely low today. I used to have some immunity built up but obviously, there is a new strain out there. 101.3 The Brew0 -
Enjoyeverymoment - I get it. I wish the doctors would look deeper for causes and not take the easiest explanation. I saved your quotes - they're good!
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Enjoyeverymoment. I love the phrase. My tolerance for idiots is extremely low today. I used to have some immunity built up but obviously, there is a new strain out there. I have found this one to be so true the last two weeks with two individuals I have to deal with. I will remember this comment the next time they go on one of their tangents.
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Well, it's official....I am DONE with radiation!!! Had my last treatment today!!!
I meet with my MO on Wednesday to discuss getting on Tamoxifen, but other than that, active treatment is over.
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Congatulations ETnagirl xx
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I'm sitting on the edge. My breast biopsy results were supposed to be "rushed" and here it is almost a week later. Like WTF! I'm so ??? edgy and tired. If it's nothing or something...I really need to know. DH in hopes to be thoughtful has booked us a short trip leaving on Friday....like !!!!! It's also stressing me out. Now I'm running around like a crazy person getting stuff ready. I can't believe he did this now...why couldn't he have waited a few weeks? Sorry for my rant...I just had one of those days...more like one of those years. I friggen just want my old normal back!!!!
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Oh JJ....I'm so sorry! I would be going CRAZY!!! Waiting almost a week for results is NOT putting a rush on it. Grrrrrr!
I hope that you get the results SOON and that the news is GOOD!
Hang in there! ((((Hugs))))
Have you tried calling about the results? Maybe if you bug them enough, you'll set a fire under their butts and get things moving!0 -
JJ if I could I would come to where you are and get their address and seriously stage an intervention. How dare they treat this as they are. So wish you could switch to a different group. I want a better normal for you too! grr I am sorry you getting such a delay!
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JJ - Doctors don't get the "waiting periods" during this cancer process. It is so cruel to make you wait over s week for pathology results! I am sending you big bear hugs! I hope you hear back soon!!!
So I did meet with the lung specialist yesterday for 1 1/2. I liked him - but now another waiting process! He wants blood work and another CT Scan. Then I meet with him on March 16th to review the results and come up with a plan.....I have heard that many times! He did mention another needle biopsy or a surgical biopsy. I am so done!
Congrats Etnasgrl on finishing the radiation!!!
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JJ, I am so sorry that you haven't gotten your results plus your DH is apparently clueless about stress. If I were you, I'd call and harass them for the results. I had a bone scan last week because of some back and head pain. I found out the results the next day but only because I happened to be in to see my GYN who had access to them. My MO never called so on Friday I called him and got the details. But WTF??? Some friends (who have not had the joy of having cancer) said that docs only call if the results show something bad. Excuse me, but no. An oncologist should know better than that. I was waiting to find out whether or not I was stage IV and therefore terminal for crying out loud. Your docs should know better too. I am furious on your behalf.
Regarding orgasm, I didn't find that the loss of my ovaries affected it, but I was able to have an estrogen patch at that time. Now, with no estrogen plus the effects of breast cancer treatment, I'm a bit of a mess in the sexual functioning department. I'm hoping to improve that with some effort now that I have a recurrent infection under control. You should know that not everyone has the impact I've had. You're quite a bit younger than me, I think. (I'm 58.) That could be to your advantage. It's a tough decision, I know.
LiLi, I'm glad to hear you like the lung specialist and hope he can get things on track for you. Without another biopsy!
etnasgrl, congrats on being done with rads! One more thing to cross off the list.
enjoyevery, love the quote about tolerance for idiots! I need to hang that in my cubicle at work. But maybe I'd better not!
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I agree with 2Tabbies, your oncologist should call you EITHER WAY and not just if the news is bad. I mean come on....it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that cancer patients will always be on edge waiting for tests and will only feel better once they know the results!! That's just common sense, something I would hope doctors have.
JJ....I came on here, hoping to see that they had finally contacted you with the results. But, I guess not. Please keep us posted!0 -
Hi Everyone...the Dr's office told me today that they'd have my results tomorrow morning. They changed my Dr appointment to the afternoon so they would have them for sure and we could discuss. It's all feeling like déjà vu....I am flip flopping between thinking it's back to slapping myself because I don't really know. Can't eat and can't sleep all the while getting things ready to leave on Friday (dog stuff, laundry, cleaning, drugstore)...my DH's family is really angry about him planning this trip without knowing my results. He is clueless...and I feel stuck in the middle...not supported by anyone because everyone is mad. Like !!! I'm just so SICK of this drama of my life!!
LILi...my heart goes out to you with your plate so full! I'm sorry and frustrated that things are dragging on for you too!
2tabbies- thanks so much for your honesty. I'm 44. I'm reading as much as I can but getting real opinions is much better than googling. I had a cesarean so I'm thinking the recovery time will be much the same? (Minus a newborn to keep me up at night!)
Thanks again to everyone...I will keep you posted!!
JJ
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JJont,
Just suddenly remembered your waiting for results, so logged in, so upset to hear it goes on and on for you and this hellish waiting you are enduring, Oh and your silly husband. I can so see why that is upsetting you.
1,30 am here in Blighty, but so wanted to see how you are.....
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Yay!!! You'll finally get some answers tomorrow.....it's about dang time!!
((((Hugs)))) and lots of prayers for good results!0 -
Thanks Etnagrl and Wintersocks....it's going to be a long morning!!! It will be such a relief to know
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JJ: There are so many more in the "wings" that follow this thread praying for great results and sending you calming wishes.
Love, Purl
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Just checking in....wanting to see if you had gotten the results yet.
Keep us posted!0 -
JJ - You are in my thoughts and prayers. The waiting sucks? I would think all oncologists would have taken a course on bedside manner for cancer patients. LiLI
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JJ also looking in to see if you have any results - part of training to be a Doctor should be being a patient for a while
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JJOnt - still nothing? Thinking of you, I am off to bed now.....
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Got part of my results...I'm still trying to understand it. My Dr gave me trouble for not getting my results from my BS. He said the initial report came back clear...benign findings. He said the second part of the report isn't ready yet. He explained it as an additional test they do because I've had BC.. (???). He also thought us going away was good because of so much stress and that if something showed up a week or two of me being away isn't going to matter...
I'm relieved, I'm angry, I'm exhausted...just with this whole experience. I called my MIL when I got home. Her words were "good, now you can get your butt back to work". Like ??? To her credit she doesn't know the stuff I've been dealing with with her son....but I didn't expect to be verbally slapped by her. I'm exhausted...is it so wrong to take the next 7 wks off before my hx? I do feel weird going away with DH...but if I was spending time with sister I wouldn't. Our plan is to get into the sun and put our vacation home up for sale. The CDN dollar is hurting badly and I would feel more secure knowing the money is in the bank especially if my job is in all probability going away.
Sorry for the longnote. I've been riding adrenaline for so long lately ...my emotions and thoughtsare all over the place. Thank you everyone for your support...it means a lot!!!
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Yay for benign results!!! That's fantastic and I'm so happy for you!!!
I wonder what the other test they do is?Anyway, go on this trip and ENJOY yourself! It will be great to get away from everything and NOT think about cancer for a while. Seriously....have fun! You deserve it.
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JJ - Finally! What a relief! (I've been waiting along with the rest of the gang). So happy that the results are good.
And No. It is NOT wrong to want to take the next seven weeks off. Your MIL's words must have been very hurtful. Clearly she has no idea what is going on. 'Going back' to anything is not necessarily the right solution to anything. Take the time you want to do what your body/mind needs.
If I was your doctor, I would tell you to ditch your DH and your job and go away with your girlfriends. Hang out with your sister, or anyone else that loves you without judgment. Surround yourself that people that will put their arms around you and applaud you for all you've been through - and recognizing the strength that it takes to get through all this sh*t without losing your mind.
However - I'm not a doctor and I'm not being realistic. Ditching the DH is something that only happens in fantasies, or desperate times. (I have a recurring fantasy where Jim falls off a ladder and goes into a coma, then wakes up and falls in love with a nurse. So my dog and I buy a cottage with my sister).
But I hope you will relax while you are away and find some calm. And enjoy the company of those around you - no matter how much empathy or knowledge they may lack. And be proud of yourself. Nobody really understands the 'waiting' and the emotional roller coaster. And I don't think anyone realizes the loneliness of dealing with post cancer treatments and surgeries and results. Some, without knowing, try to force us along. But it can't be forced. So take the time you want, and be proud of what you achieved. I'm sending a big hug from me, here in Toronto
Janet
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jjont,
Benign is good!!, have been hoping and praying. Sorry, the adrenaline is going to keep pumping for a while , until all results come back, what agony it is to wait...
I do hope the time away with your hubby has a least some enjoyable moments at least for you. Janet, I did snigger a bit at your 'fantasy' involving Jim and your 'other life...' As you know, I am entirely single now and some days I struggle with what I have now and wonder if it is better and mostly I think is.
As an aside, it's 4 years todaY since being told 'this is almost certainly breast cancer'. I remember it all so clearly. the biopsy, mammo and us. And then the waiting....
Ok, off to do some ironing,,
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JJ: So happy to hear about the good news, but I get the fact that you are still waiting for 2nd part of the test. You must be so frustrated with the wait. I would absolutely get away with friends and family who are fun! This whole winter thing is really tough! Some nice sun and warmth will be great!
Hugs to all!
LiLi
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I had my first nightmare last night. I think it's because I got a postcard in the mail yesterday from the hospital. When I opened it, it reminded me that I had a mammogram in April 2015 and that I should schedule another one ASAP. ( it's already scheduled). I wasn't expecting the postcard and had just been going about my day. My scanxiety is creeping up the closer I get to April. I' m sure its fine...but I its only hitting me now just how traumatic the whole thing was. I never had a normal mammo
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Thanks Everyone...I'm away and the sun is bright, the breeze is warm ...and I feel guilty for being here...so much so that I feel like going home. Being at home I don't relax as there is always something to do...so DH thought I would relax being away but I didn't tell my work I was going (and I'm off on leave). If I was going to my sisters I wouldn't feel guilty...it's all about perception and maybe it's just the people around me but I constantly feel judged. I never used to be this way...but my skin feels thinner, my mind worries about things I can't control...it all just sucks.
Janet...thanks so much for your note. You really have a way with words! I have had a similar conversation with my sister about ditching the drama and doing the same! My sister is the one person who has my back! (In a sea of people that don't always). Doesn't my MIL post on FB a picture of my dog saying she is dog sitting for her son? I really wanted to keep this trip quiet!
I'm glad my results look good so far...I just didn't expect to still feel this stressed out!!!
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