I look for other flat chested women. A rant.
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There are two dragon boat teams here in Dublin, all members are mx survivors. They are called the Plurabelle Paddlers, it's believed the rowing action is very good lymphodema prevention.
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We have quite a few Breast Cancer Dragon Boat teams in Australia too. We even have a team in the Country area I live in with their own Dragon Boat. I sometimes watch them train near where I live.
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I am very interested in the Lebed exercise and will get the DVD. I too have a pocket of fluid that has never cleared up over where the lymph nodes were removed, I would be thrilled to get that moving, as well as to do something good for my lymphatic system. And posture.
I am always so amazed when I have a problem, how much I learn here.
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Thank you for this thread. I was diagnosed in June, currently on chemo, anticipate mastectomy and axillary dissection in a few months. I am torn about whether to put in a tissue expander to preserve the option of reconstruction (I'm too thin for a flap).
On the one hand: I am generally averse to unnecessary intervention; I wonder if Real Boob will droop while Fake Boob stays freakishly perky into old age; my daughter says her friend's grandma's silicone boobs hurt when she hugs her; it'll be insensate so no good sexually; I am small breasted so I don't think I'll feel too lopsided.
On the other hand... the docs say, "You're so young..." (42; kinda). It happens that I'm widowed and yeah, I do hope to find another life partner... but then I think, if some guy is bothered by a missing boob, he's not my type anyway...
The finality of it feels a little daunting. Maybe I put in the tissue expander and think about it for a while?
Thoughts on how to weigh this decision? I realize I'm approaching a biased source, but I welcome it to counter the more pervasive pro-reconstruction bias.
Thanks again for this thread. It made me smile!
Becca
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Becca, you do not need to have an immediate TE placed to do recon. Especially if you need radiation and more chemo after surgery, many doctors will advise to wait all together. I was advised to wait 2 years (which is coming up soon, but I have no desire to wedge lumps of silicone under my pecs). Recon can be started and done at any time, so do not let them sucker you into thinking it is now or never.
Also, even if you are thin, they can do flaps from your hip or butt.
My advice would be to leave it for now, the recovery is easier, less painful and far less likely to have complications, if you skip the TE. Then use the time to research all options, maybe consult with a few PSs, look at lots of pics and decide when YOU are ready.
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Hey, Momine, wonderful advice as always!
I like your new avatar!
I agree with everything Momine says, I am a "Uniboober", and although I am still sporting a C/D on the other side, I have no issue at all with being lop sided.
My surgeon gave me the option of recon, but also said that the door isn't closed, I could opt for it later if I wanted too. He also said that if I did decide to go that way, I should realise that I would have a "mound" not a breast. I can't ever see me wanting to do any form of recon, and I have no desire to remove the other breast either, so mine is just a slightly different perspective. There is, of course, no right, or wrong decision, just the decision that is going to suit you.
This is a wonderful place to ask questions, get support and weigh options. No one judges anyone, and we all "get it".
I wish you all the very best, and would love to hear how you are doing!
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Ariom, thanks! It is Saint Agatha as painted by Zubaran.
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Ditto everything Momine said. I'm one of the "wish I"d known then what I know now" women, HAPPILY explanted ( very very small silicone ) and my pec muscles thank me every day. Terribly uncomfortable everytime I did any exercise, AND one had already ruptured, which we didn't know until explanted. Seems the 6 years I had them is a "fairly long time" - most need to be replaced within 5 to 10 years.
GIVE YOURSELF TIME. And as for dating, I always refer my younger bc friends to Carly Simon's song, The Scar from her Bedroom Tapes album. Happy and HEALTHY healing, be very gentle with yourself, and if anyone offers to HELP you now - the answer is YES, YES, YES.
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Crystal,
I really hope the Lebed exercises help you. I really wasn't expecting much when I got the DVD but had been feeling depressed because after three years the tiny pocket of fluid that remained on one side seemed to be actually getting bigger. I didn't really think it was lymphedema (it was a very obvious little pouch of fluid), but I decided to give the exercises a try. I was truly shocked when, after doing them two or three times, the fluid started dissipating and then disappeared almost overnight.
I've come to believe that our lymph systems are very under the health radar but worth paying attention to. I kind of think slow martial arts like Tai Chi may provide benefits in part because they help the flow of lymph fluid. That's my own purely theoretical conclusion, but I like to think of doing the Lebed exercises as my alternative to Tai Chi.
As I said previously, the tape is a little hokey. Sherry Lebed, the founder and instructor, is a quite a character. But I just focus on the exercises. Some women on the lymphedema forum who do them say they turn off the sound entirely...
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Momine, Ariom, Sunflowers--thank you!
I don't know... my good friend with same body type as I (skinny and small-breasted) got a butt flap and she hates her "ass boob" and the process that got her there. She eventually had the second boob removed and got silicone, and said that one's much better all around.
My docs told me it would be *very* difficult to put in a tissue expander after radiation, effectively that would I would foreclose the option if I don't do it before radiation. I will take this up with them because I'd really like more time to think about it and would prefer not to have the TE put in with the mastectomy.
Thanks for the advice, support, encouragement.
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I second Momine's advice.
I actually had a BMX, prophylactic on one side because I just could not deal with the idea that it might have to come off in case of new cancer, I would have to continue monitoring it forever, and I hated the idea of being lopsided and was NOT going to go through more procedures. I did my homework on available procedures, and none of them seemed to call out to me. Unfortunately, I ended up with local recurrence and mets, am a little ticked off that I didn't just ask to be treated as stage IV rather than III at that point and forget about the surgery altogether as now I have LE and other issues related to the surgery, AND have to deal with all the other treatments for stage IV. However, with an earlier stage, less aggressive cancer, young age - all that says go for the MX as it is the most likely to keep you from progressing!
As far as reconstruction, DO take some time, DO what is right for YOU! And double check about the TE and whether it MUST be placed at the time of surgery - it is a foreign body and infections LOVE foreign bodies. Also, if you are considering reconstruction, the BS may leave extra skin, which become annoying "dog ears", which can be corrected surgically if you don't go with reconstruction, but insurance may not pay for that, so if you are leaning toward no reconstruction, you may want to ask for a very nice incision that is straight and cosmetically nice from the get-go. The main thing is to be comfortable and trusting your surgical team and don't rely too heavily on helpful friends, family, and people like me who have "attitudes."
Erica, thanks for heads-up on the Lebed exercise video. I just ordered it, should be here next week. I am extremely frustrated with my LE right now, hoping that can help! (yes, I still have hope!)0 -
LOL on the "ass boob." I get what she means. Besides I am covered in stretchmarks from waist to knee, thanks to an 11-pound baby (who is now 21 and perfectly lovely and normal looking). So not only would I have ass boobs, I would have stretchmarked ass boobs.
I am not sure the thing about the rads is correct. Because recon is covered by insurance in the US, they like to rope you in as soon as possible. In Europe they tend to be more conservative about this aspect of treatment.
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I also question the rads and expander. When I DID see a PS at the insistence of my BS and well-meaning family, the PS said the door to reconstruction was NOT closed if I chose not to pursue it right away, and that since he and the BS both thought I should have rads after surgery, did not even mention putting in a TE right away, but then again, he didn't say not to, .... so I remain confused. I guess I really wasn't paying much attention because I already knew what I was going to do, it just took that one extra appointment and half a day out of my life to convince the rest of my team that I was SERIOUS about NO MORE PROCEDURES!!!!!!!!
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LOL on the ass boobs :-) I would not want ass-boobs either and next time some idiot asks me why I didn't get reconstruction I will tell them I don't want ass-boobs. Sounds reasonable.
Thanks for the much needed humor!
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OMG, Crystal - I love your response! Has me cracking up! oops, I guess ass-boobs would have a crack in them, too????
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Linda - you & crystal are SO SO SO funny! Have a crack in them - what a HOOT!
Gotta say again how much I am THRILLED with my explanation. Don't know if any of the pec muscel was cut for the expander to be put in, but definitely not with the GOOD PS who put in the silicone little "poached eggs" - but still feel SO MUCH BETTER BREAST FREE - notice my posture has improved, I'm taking a DEEPER breath - and one more week b4 PS says I can do push ups - YEAH!
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del
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Hey Crystal! I'm glad to see you doing so well!
I love Sparkpeople.com. The "Fast Break" is/was really helpful. I need to do it again now... It sounds like fasting, but it isn't. It just means tracking your neck circumference, food intake and exercise for two weeks. How are your joints? Can you walk 10 minutes? 20?
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oops. Wait a minute...I think I sort of spliced into this thread, because it's been so long since I stopped by... Crystal, your question about exercise happened a long time ago...? Sorry....
It's really good to see some familiar faces here again. I came back because I just turned down two teaching positions because I can't get myself up in front of teenagers yet. I'm not ready! And i can't wear prosthetics, yet. I need to work in a more private setting now.
But back to the topic at hand, I CAN report that, of all the glorious options, going flat works best for me. Sometimes I think about a DIEP flap, but the idea usually evaporates within a few minutes.
Do you think we are all just sort of who we are underneath our breasts, and if we happen to get cancer and need them removed, who we are just sort of surfaces after a while? As an athlete, I am very happy with how my body floats and glides in the water now. Running is also so much easier!!! I'm kind of a tomboy type anyway. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE my new no bra lifestyle. So, I've probably reached my own best decision, even though 10% of the time I see how other women look with their recon or their prosthetics and I wonder if I should try that....
Thing is, I have the option to do any of those things if I want.
A woman I know is having recon at the time of her mx. Of all the options this suits her best! She will not know the bliss of being flat, but I don't think for her it WOULD be bliss. It would be hell.
Alaska, I wish you the best in finding who you really are underneath all of this.
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Saw my LE therapist today - she had gone to a big conference last week and met a PS who does the micro-fat grafting and other procedures. She asked him if it was painful, and he seemed baffled by her question. He said it looks really good, really natural. She asked again about how his patients did with pain issues and function. He repeated that the procedures he does really produce natural-looking results. She just couldn't get through to him that there is more to a woman's life than having natural-looking breasts, that freedom from pain and the ability to function are big issues related to quality of life. I was appalled, ticked off and generally wanted to go have a little chat with him. She didn't give me his name, LOL! She sees so many patients with these issues, but also says she sees those who don't do well rather than those who DO WELL, so she gets a biased view, and I have to remember that as well. Reconstruction is a good option for some women, but I don't think it is the best for a lot of women who eventually get pushed or persuaded to go through more surgeries, especially those who don't realize that going flat or using prostheses is an excellent option as well. OK, rant for the day done!
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Joining Linda's rant - as I'm now about 7 weeks from expanting two very small ( 300cc) silicone implants and THRILLED with being able to feel my OWN chest again. No numb lumps. JUST ME. Freedom, ease of movement, no feeling of restriction, d-e-e-p breathing...aaaahhhhh
Also hope anyone who opts to have silicone implants understands they are NOT PERMANENT. They will most probably need replacing. I had mine for 6 years, and one had already ruptured. Didn't know it until it was removed.
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I was with many women this past weekend and I met a *flat* woman and we hugged and guess what? Our breast bones bumped! It was not comfortable at all for me, 2 big bones bumping, but we both laughed and enjoyed meeting each other.
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The first time I hugged someone after my surgery I realized just how close I was to them. Almost like pieces of a puzzle fitting together perfectly. It's a nice feeling.
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I am just loving and wholly approving of these excellent stories. You two are so kind to share them! I am feeling like we need to have a... what do you call it? Reunion? Conference?
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Rapid submission. Okay, round six for Z on Thursday. Who's in the bag? I am especially ill-behaved on Z appointments. I'm afraid her DH doesn't like me. But I am not worried enough about it to change my behavior.
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I'm new to this thread...thinking about taking my other reconstructed breast out to match my explanted breast of 2 weeks ago. I think I really like being flat and can see myself happy that way. I mentioned it to my PS and he asked me to think about it because I am so emotional about the failed radiated implant. Wish I would have known the failure rate of implants on RADIATED breast tissue before I made the decision. Maybe I did and didn't remember due to CHEMO brain or fog or just wanted to go with the flow and get back to life. I am TN and figuring out normal changes daily.
I wore a sundress today and felt awesome even tho lopsided. I LOVE going without a bra on flat side and kinda need one on the implant side. Pooh on surgeries...
The bra I wear for the breast then aggravates the one that is flat. Gonna try a shelf bra.
Love the humor,
Hugs to all, gwenie0 -
Racoon et al: thank you so much for your stories and thoughts. Yesterday I visited a plastic surgeon who, in diametrical contrast to the east coast peeps I consulted with, said he does NOT put in TEs at the time of mastectomy. I had already decided (thanks in part to your postings along with my own soul searching) that I am OK with not reconstructing, because I had mistakenly believed the only option would be if I get a TE at the time of mastectomy, which I do not want to do. SO... now I have time--years, if I want--to see how it feels to be flat and evaluate the options. I'll be a uniboober, which will take some getting used to, but I don't have a particularly high risk of a second breast cancer and one sensate nipple is better than none!
Because I am quite thin, the plastic surgeon said a lat flap AND implant would be needed to replace my breast, even one small enough to match existing. More reason not to hurry and sign up.
I'll let you know when I post the blog update I am currently composing in this topic... thanks again for the wonderful ideas and experiences you've shared.
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Going to add my 2 cents. I never liked wearing a bra, even with both boobs. I keep telling my daugther I am a child of the 70's I burned my bra, did nt wear them. Over the years, am now 59, I have learned to dress so tho noticeable, not overtly so. Which brings us to Feb 2012 when I joined the ranks of uniboobers everywhere. Because of my dx, my onc actively discouraged reconstruction for at least a year. In that time I became pretty comfortable often with just the one boob and no bra. Winter is fairly easy, scarves and sweaters. Summers a bit more tricky - but light tanks under shirts etc work for me. And yes I look lopsided and it is noticable during the summer, but I really don't care. My 15 year old daughter on the other hand, cares a great deal. Comfort is the name of the game for me and the heck with what others think.
You will make the decision that is right for you,
Best,
nel
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Hi Nel,
Me too! I can be really comfortable with just one boob too.
I have the biggest array of foobs, boobs, and silicone prosthesis, even a stick on one. I have great bras, sports bras, camisoles and shapewear tanks. I can have any look or level of comfort I want and can wear just about anything I desire, but sometimes one boob is enough!LOL
It is a lot to do with the acceptance, of course, of the "New Normal"!
I agree with Nel, you'll make the decision that's right for you!
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I hope you guys don't mind I used some of your words and ideas in my blog today. You've given me a lot to think about and a positive spin on booblessness, and I wanted to share that under-heard perspective with others. Thank you.
Here's my blog:
http://alaskamamaruns.blogspot.com/
(Read the previous post if you want to read about a really bad day!!)
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