I look for other flat chested women. A rant.
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GmaB, if both mine were gone I wouldn't wear foobs except for special occasions (fancy party dress). And those don't come up in my retired life, so in reality I would be flat.
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My life either Wren. That's why I'm going around flat. I don't think I even own a dress that would be considered "fancy", and if I do, in a box somewhere in storage, it is so out of style it would be pathetic.
I'm just really glad ins paid the total costs for the foobs and bras. I would be so mad at myself for spending the money on something I am in all probability not going to wear. Jury still out on the contacts..... I'll try them on Valentine's Day that is 6 months out for me.
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CCFW, wonderful article, thanks for sharing it!
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yeah! Thanks for posting my article. Glad you gals found it.
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just read the article.Going to increase my workouts to 5 days.Actually made a resolution to seriously loose weight this year.Without breasts my belly make me look pregnant and I really hate that so After getting a good 5 year checkup no more excuses.Started a food and exercise journal on my IPad .Wish me luck ladies.
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Good luck, Momito!! 0000000 <---(power pellets)
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Yay for the good 5 yr report!!! Good luck on your food and exercise plans.
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Good Luck Mumito.
Go slow, three days a week is good if you are just starting out, though you did say 'increase to 5 days'. You don't want to burn yourself out before you get a chance to benefit from exercise. And take care with food, denying yourself foods puts them front and center in your mind, which will make you want them more. Knowing you -can- choose to eat a brownie but prefer not to at the moment is better than complete denial of having or wanting the brownie (there is a brownie in my kitchen!!! But I choose not to eat it). The mind can be whiley that way.
Working with a trainer can be quite helpful. I use an online trainer called Marianne Kane at MyOhMyTV.com. I think she is great and she has experience with me and my flat, so you may feel more comfortable with her! Plus, she is a certified nurse, though she has begun making a career change to fit trainer.
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Thankyou for the tips and encouragement .I am useing the loseit.com site.Just simply recording everything that I eat is really making a difference.As for increasing my exercise to 5 days so far so good but I have to watch my joint issues.
Next week we are off to a beach resort in Cuba for a big family reunion.Swimming laps will be my workout there.Just have to watch and limit the alcohol consumption
As long as I still log my food intake I won't overindulge.I am allowing my self One bad day in the week.0 -
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I've just been looking at mastectomy bras & forms on line.
Tell me, why do they have models with obvious real boobs modelling mx bras!
It just seems insulting & rubbing my face in it, that no way am I going to look like that, no matter how pretty the bra I will have no cleavage like they do!
So, I've decided I'm not going to bother. I'm going to enjoy being flat & not having to waste my money on such things!
And I'm NOT going to feel like a freak with no boobs!!
Rant over!
(for those of you with prostheses etc who enjoy them- good on you, I guess its just not for me any more... I used to tolerate it when I was a uniboober, but not enjoy
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kt1966, If I weren't a uniboober, mine would be in the trash so fast. I mainly wear mine when I go out. Clothes don't hang right with only one. They would fit a lot better flat.
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kt,
I wish I could be where you are about acceptance! I think this is the ultimate in acceptance and being brave. I had surgery in October too. Funny how things didn't turn out how I had planned and I am feeling unsettled with my body. I hope all goes well for you and you will move forward easily! I guess I am not brave enough to go flat all the time. Have run out to the store with a winter coat and scarf after surgery and found it felt freeing. But I am sensitive and don't want to feel self conscious.
Sigh.... I completely agree with you about the mastectomy models. I also felt really uncomfortable being fitted for a mastectomy by a young woman with large breasts and a deep V neck showing cleavage. She was so nice but it hurt anyway.
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Thanks girls
I'm working on the acceptance thing anyway
There are times (like when I'm wearing my unflattering work uniform) that I find it quite hard!
But I definitely find it easier being flat & going form free than when I was a uniboober. I do wear patterned or slightly gathered tops to disguise my flatness- it's so much cooler in summer
So- onwards & upwards!
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My mastectomy store was founded by a woman with breast cancer and her daughters. Thank goodness no one is 22 with cleavage. I suspect some of the fitters are also survivors. And they do a really good job.
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I would love to be able go flat, but still have 1 boob! I do it occasionally, but it isn't truly comfortable.
When it comes to the models, I don't even think about it, in the same way as I don't give a crap either way about the young, slim models that advertise everything else.
I do still love to buy nice things, it makes no difference to me that I am a Uni. I still find lovely bras and enjoy wearing them and the ladies that fit me are extremely gracious. They've seen so much of this, they handle it really well and make me feel completely at ease.
I wish you all the best kt, as you say "onward and upward". Don't give yourself a hard time. We are all different and it takes time to accept such radical changes in ourselves. Take care!
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I appreciate the rant. Acceptance all came in stages for me. First to feel comfortable around my home, then with friends and family who already knew I did not reconstruct. Somewhere around 3 years out, I found I was just going out and not even bothering with a scarf or cover-up. If I feel comfortable enough to not even think about it and run to the store, then I just have to be my courageous self and keep my head high and keep thinking "I am a cancer survivor".
I honestly don't think people notice. I am concave, wear snug shirts and have been asked "How was reconstruction?" I don't understand that. But Strangely enough if my nose were missing, I would probably get a fake nose, I don't want to scare anyone really, but I don't think missing breasts is scary. (Other than the fear of cancer of course, I mean women without breasts can be very beautiful, just like women without hair can really rock that look).
It really is all quite mind boggling though, because breasts are more than a body part, they are sexuality.
So my question is...does anyone feel comfortable flirting without wearing breasts?
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I know this is not what you meant about flirting, but I had it fixed in my mind that post surgery, things would be so different. I even went so far as to buy pj's, I have always been a just knickers to bed, kinda girl! Sorry if TMI.
I wore a pj top my first night home, after surgery, really because the drain was just gross. The next night my husband asked me if I was really comfortable in that top and I had to be honest, I said no I wasn't. He told me to toss it and to be comfortable! I haven't looked back.
Bearing in mind this is the same man who looked at my scar 10 hours post surgery and said "Wow, that will heal well, and you don't need 2 boobs to be gorgeous!"
Flirting with him boobless, works for me, and I have to say that I actually love that I can snuggle in to him with my boobless side over his heart. It is a wonderful fit. We use a lot of humor about it too, which in the beginning helped with the rawness of it all. Now it is just part of our "Normal".
I agree about women without breasts looking good. I see such strength, and as weird as it sounds, I admire scars. There are some amazing pictures on the Scar Project.
I know we are all different, but it really breaks my heart when I hear of women who are afraid to look at themselves, or show their changed body to their husband.
I agree that people don't notice. I tend to glance at chests these days, just wondering.....but it is hard to decide if someone is just very small or if they are Flat and Fabulous!
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Kt1966, I so agree about the models. I need a swim top and was looking online yesterday. All the models had cleavage and clearly none of those tops are going to work for me because I only have it on one side. WTF! Doesn't the word mastectomy mean anything to them? I saw 2 with higher tops, but they were so high that I think they were for nuns. I'm thinking of getting a cheap suit, cutting off the bottom (I have shorts for the bottom) and adding something at the top using the material I've cut off.
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Hi been watching this discussion on my email for a few days bt haven't had a moment to post 'til now. You might be interested to know there is a British lingerie company called Royce who DO use real life mastectomy models
http://www.royce-lingerie.co.uk/non-wired-mastectomy-bras
(you will see a gorgeous lady who has had a mastectomy and who models for them)
They also run training sessions for fitters where they bring the trainees together with ladies who have had mastectomies so the trainees can hear at first hand the issues etc.
(I think they sell in the US too, but are definitely UK based).
Best wishes
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Amoena have some "real" Mastectomy Models too. The woman who models their Contact Prosthesis is really lovely. There is a video of her demonstrating it on the Amoena website. There is another woman who models for them who had a BMX, she shared her story in the Amoena Life Magazine last season.
Wrenn, check out Ebay. I have bought some new Amoena swimsuits and Tankinis for minimal amounts on Ebay. There are often new Lands End there too. There are very often small sizes for $20.00 and under. They are cut high on the chet with pockets for prosthesis if you need it and no "Fall Forward".
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My husband saw my MX before I did, I had heard so many horror stories about it, even though I didn't think I would nut out, I asked him to check it out first and tell me how it looked. He was great about it. But I just was talking to someone and she hadn't shown her husband and she had finished chemo, MX and was most of the way through rads, when her husband asked why she couldn't keep up with things like she had before, it was then she chose to show him her chest, YIKES! I guess I'm really happy with my relationship and the support my family gave me. When my daughters and mom wanted to see my scar I told them only on the condition that they looked at some on line first and that they didn't cry ;-)
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Since the threat of cancer became my reality, I have lost 25 lbs. and work out every day. I have never felt sexier (at least within the past 14 years). My DH and I love how we "fit' together when we cuddle now. I have invested in some lovely lingerie and nighties and love my new body. I have never missed my left breast, but in all honesty, that even shocked me.
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Rock on TB90!
My DH also likes how we fit, he says he can feel my heart against his. I had a left mx too. It is amazing (and scary) how strongly I can feel my heart without the breast there. I often think it's like there is just a piece of cling-film over my heart.0 -
I am now 18 months after my mastectomy. Although I am lopsided I am happy I have not had reconstruction. I wear a soft prosthesis.
I am now certain that I am not going to have a reconstruction. Surgeon was in favour of it but admitted he would have to reduce the existing breast, as well as taking flesh from my stomach to reconstruct. This would be a 7 hour operation.
Why not a reconstruction? Here is my thinking. 1. I don't want to go through another op. 2. Silicone implants (good ones) often need replacing at about 15 years time when I would be 85. 3. Silicone and the belly reconstruction alternative do not change when the rest of the body changes. A year ago I was ill and lost one and a half stone. Weight loss or weight gain can leave you with uneven breasts. 4. And, finally, for people over 65 exposure to anaesthetics increases the risks of dementia. I care more about keeping my brain than my body.
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Good for you for knowing what is right for you 1Boob. You have come to the right place here.
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Welcome 1boob. I didn't have reconstruction for almost the same reasons. If I were 35, I might think it was worth the risk, but I'm not. I'm also a uni and the only drawback is having to wear a bra.
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Hi 1boob!
Couldn't agree more! I haven't had a moment where I have regretted my decision to do the Mx and no recon.
Wrenn, like you, I may have considered it when younger, I really don't know. I tend to think, not. I looked at the photos on the "Scar Project" website, and for me, the women, and most are young, who didn't reconstruct are my preference, as far as how the results look. It is hard to describe, but they just seem to have a strength that shows through in the photo.
That is just my opinion, I absolutely support anyone's decision, either way. We are all different with different needs and wants.
Good luck to you 1boob!
Feelingfeline, I understand how you feel about feeling your heart. I am a Right Mx, but I love how when I snuggle into my Husband, I fit a lot better than before and I can feel his heart through my flat side.
TB! Great job with the weight loss!
I agree too, I was surprised, probably shocked, how I didn't have any issue with losing my breast either.
Linda, my husband wanted to see it as soon as we got home from the Hospital, his reaction was sensational and put to rest any anxiety I could have had about how he was going to deal with the changes. "Wow, that will heal really well!" and "You don't need 2 boobs to be gorgeous!" was what he said, and we were on our way to acceptance!
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Hi 1boob and welcome!
I totally agree with your reasons. I'm not sure I would have had recon even if I had been dx'd young (64 now). One long surgery is enough for me in my life! I didn't know the dementia thing, another good reason not to!
I knew almost immediately from dx that I was not going to do recon. I haven't ever worn my protheses outside. They are just too uncomfortable for me! It took me about 3 trips out to realize that no one really noticed/cared that I was flat. I have a bunch of scarves that I wear now, its the middle of winter in MT for cripes sake!!
I have gone out many times with just a jacket or vest and am completely comfortable with it.Feelingfine, I notice the heart thing early on. I even remarked to my PT that I could feel my heart so much more. He freaked and thought I meant it was racing or something..... I find it strangely comforting to feel that steady beating.
Ariom, I looked at a lot of photos online too before sx. Scared me right away from any idea that might have crept in to do recon!!
Yay for the weight loss TB!! I lost a bunch after being dx'd with diabetes 2 years ago and a little more from bc. It feels so much better to be in this new body!!
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