I look for other flat chested women. A rant.
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Barbara, I agree completely, I cannot imagine why my friend is allowing him to operate on her. I find it all very offensive, but then I also find it offensive to have a plastic surgeon working in the same office as a doctor who removes cancer. But that is me.
It is a state of NY thing, about no out of pocket costs for a breast cancer surgery. I never heard of it, maybe others will weigh in.
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Yea CLC! Thanks for bringing up the importance of the message we send our daughters. My daughter was 7 months old when I had my surgery, so she will never know me as a woman who had breasts. I never even thought about it at the time! Although she is still young and has not yet raised any questions, I want to be prepared for them when they come. I hope that she will know (and remember) a mom that was active and ate right and was comfortable in her own skin, even without breasts. I love your attitude with your daughter.
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I just love that a man will try to pressure a woman into undergoing additional surgery and risk for his financial gain, telling her that she'll be ugly without her breasts. Outrageous!
So for Flat Fest - which perhaps we can turn next year into Flat Awareness Day nationally - I'm thinking we get to order tee shirts -
On the front - Flat Fest 2012. On the back, Breastlessly Beautiful, or Flat and Fabulous, or Living Flat and Flaunting it. Reactions?
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I vote for "Flat and Faboulous" or "Faboulously Flat" or "This Flat Don't Need Fixing"
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Just found this thread... I feel the same way. I look everywhere and I find no one flat. I have yet to find or spot anyone even wearing Foobs... and its been over 2 years. I think we need to have our own City, State, PLANET! Love the T Shirt ideas. Will think on that some.
I can not embrace any other option than Flat! Recon does not even enter my mind for a nano-second. My Foobs....I just want to wing them out the window.
Remember you all kick butt, you all are for real, you all Rock Ladies.
Blessings to you all.
xo
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I have been checking in on this thread every once in a while. Love it! I am a uni-mx, had my surgery in february and while it has been a rocky road of PT and massage therapy, this past month was the first time I had moments where I didn't think about my chest.... anyway, I have yet to buy a silicone form, I have a cheap fiberfill one that I use when in public. And sometimes I go without one, never wear it while at home. When I look in the mirror naked I totally accept what I see. I don't think it is ugly. It feels really good to accept myself the way that I am... I didn't ask to be uni-breastless, but I am what I am.
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I just looked at the bradayusa.org site and it is definitely a commercial advocating for plastic surgery. I admit I didn't look through all of it, so it may have had accurate information on all the procedures, but I must say, it was rather offensive, and I don't take offense very easily. The big pink ribbon banner across the top, smiling women with bosoms, all making it look so "normal" and easy.
I know that I did see a PS because my BS and DH wanted to make sure I understood all my options, the PS did NOT make me feel like a real person but rather a project for him to complete, making comments about how much "fill" he would use to make me a B cup (I specifically told him I would NOT want to be larger than I was before BMX) but he just ignored me. I asked him for pictures, he said he didn't have any right now, but check back with his nurse later and she could find some for me. The only way I would have even considered reconstruction was if it was a one-step immediate implant because there was NO WAY I was going to do more procedures (PS didn't seem to even consider this a major factor in decision-making!), and he and the BS kicked it back and forth to each other, neither of them wanting to do it but wanting to blame it on the other one. Turns out it was a good thing because I am MUCH happier without, and I would probably have lost it as I had major post-op infected seromas.
I like the t-shirt ideas. Maybe we should design a selection - I think I would like one for each day of the week!!!!0 -
Hi Crystal,
I think your friend has been misinformed or may have misunderstood.
The Women's Health and Cancer Rights Act of 1998 requires that if an insurer offer mastectomy coverage, they must also offer breast reconstruction coverage. That is a far cry from it being free. If you had to pay 20% co-payment for the mastectomy, then you would also have to pay 20% for the reconstruction.
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It is my understanding that Nancyjac is exactly correct. Many insurance policies are 80/20 up to a certain amount at which time insurance pays everything above the cap. If someone had met that ceiling for the year, then perhaps it would be "free" after that.
Barbara
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Hello again all.
I've been following along now for a while, as of last Thurs have joined you at least with the half flats. I do not plan on recon although I will probably wear a form. Simply because I am over modest and can't stand the idea of letting righty hang lose. so I will have to balance the bra. If I had had a double mx I would probably have a bra burning party.
I have already given more time to BC than I want and will not waste my life on recon just to have a boob. There are more impotant things I want to do and surgery is not on the agenda.
Wish I could join you all at Flat Fest.
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So no big surprise, my friend did not tell the truth about reconstruction and fees. She did say she had to pay 20% but NY law excused her from that.
I am going to stay out of it, since this is a "flat" discussion and you all know my opinions that I am very happy with being flat and absolutely no more surgery for me, I respect maybe she felt the need to qualify herself to me. And I respect this is a horrible time for her.
I am appreciative to hear this is not a NY law though, it didn't seem right because I why would breast cancer get a break when other cancers don.t it didn't make sense.
Oh! I love the flat t-shirt sayings, I vote for one of each!!!!! :-)
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I think I am rather partial to Flat & Fabulous.
Have also had thoughts about a twist on the "Yeah they're fake, the real ones tried to kill me" (think this one is available somewhere but not sure where) to maybe "Yeah I'm flat, I cut 'em loose when they tried to kill me" (too graphic??) or "Yeah I'm flat, I set them free when they tried to kill me."
Barbara
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Anyone else who ever goes flat in public out here in the southern plains country of Oklahoma/Texas/Kansas/Arkansas/Missouri?
Barb
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"This Flat Don't Need Fixing"!!!! I lost my cup of tea on that one! Love it!
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Hey, if we put "This flat don't need fixing" on the front, can we add "Elated, not deflated" on the back?
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Yippee! Had surgery Monday for left MX (right MX July 2011) and do not plan on reconstruction. It feels really good to have the surgery behind me, have the decision and move forward. I don't really care what anyone thinks when/if I go out in public with or without foobs - not my problem - I'm into taking care of me. Don't mean to offend and wouldn't offend on purpose but just not my problem.
I'm just high on life and the excitement of having the surgeries done!
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OHIO!!! I'm so glad you checked in. Being healthy is definitely #1 priority, and I am happy to hear you are feeling good with the surgery behind you.
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Thanks Tina. My sisters have been staying with me that last two days/nights. They are my neighbors so it's not a really big deal but the sister-time is so fun and memorable. I have enjoyed sister-time very much. Haven't been on pain meds since day of surgery, took tylenol yesterday, nothing today. Life is good.
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Hi All,
I lurk and read here frequently, but have been busy with work and life. I "This flat does not need Fixing" with elated on the back. If we are unable to get to Flat Fest, can we purchase the t-shirt somewhere?
I had a group of friends over on saturday night to celebrate the end of rads and chemo. This discussion came up and all were like, why would you have recon. Very supportive group. This pushing recon goes with the Look Good Feel Better Program, at least for me. One of my rads techs was so taken aback that I wouldn't consider going. As I pointed out to her, I wore a wig no more than 4-5 times, can count on one hand the times in my life I have ever worn make up, and more often than not don't wear my foob. It all just feels like there is someone else who is trying to tell us how to manage and look thru this journey. I know women who got alot out of the Look Good Program, and I am not saying they shouldn't, just we should all do what is right for us as individuals without the expectations of others.
Gentle evening
Nel
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Barb, I'm in NW Arkansas. I alternate btw Foobs and flat.
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Glad the surgery is behind you, Ohio, and that you're in the loving care of your sisters.
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OK - front, This Flat Don't Need Fixing
back Elated Not Deflated
Will check around for prices.
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The perfect tshirt but I also love the other one when we do wear our foobs. Yes they are fake but the real ones tried to kill me.
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This website has a variety of tshirts for breast cancer, including the shirt that "these are fake, the real ones tried to kill me". I have ordered from them with fast service in the past.
http://www.cafepress.com/+breast-cancer+t-shirts0 -
AnneMarie: I too alternate between foobs and flat depending on my mood and my chest's need for feedback or not. LOVE Eureka Springs, NW Arkansas, and War Eagle. I am in the Oklahoma City metro.
Barbara
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I just skimmed through. There's a lot of inspiring shirts, but nothing with a flat and that's fine type of message. A number of shirts I found a little offensive, along the save the boobies line, but that's just me/
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I definitely think there would be a place for a Flat but Fabulous shirt among those many choices. I agree that many of the slogans are not something I would wear. I actually ordered a Team in Training shirt from CafePress as I am a leukemia survivor and volunteer with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team in Training and Light the Night events.
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Hi Ladies,
I too have been lurking on this thread. I am 6 years out from BMX and can probably count on my fingers how many times I have worn my foobs. Didn't like bras much before BC and really don't like them post BC. 99% of the time I go flat and what amazes me - noone notices! Just this past weekend I went to a party and someone came up to me (she was elderly so I will give her a pass on this) and asked me how I was doing. I told her I was doing well and then she says she knows someone who had breast cancer many years ago and "Can you believe that back then they removed both breasts - so drastic" as I was standing there flat as a pancake! I go to the gym and swim in the pool - never wear prostheses in my swimsuit and never get a second glance. I don't go around telling people that I had breast cancer but if it comes up in conversation (usually they are telling me about someone else being diagnosed) most people are shocked when I tell them I had a BMX. I live in the midwest - maybe people here are just not that observant. I don't think I would wear a t-shirt referring to being flat as I think it calls attention to something most people (in my experience) do not even notice. Love the t-shirt saying "This flat don't need fixing" though.
I do have to admit that there are some people who do know who just don't get why I don't want reconstruction (maybe I could wear the t-shirt around them lol). Most of these people have never had surgery in their lives. A year before the BMX I had a kidney removed - I am not anxious to have any more surgery unless it is absolutely necessary. My Mom had BC and also had kidney surgery (for a different reason) and I remember her telling me she did not want any more surgery - I did not understand it then - but I do now.
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How about a tshirt that states,
"We see beauty in this."
Before they have read the sentiment, they have already said the words in their head. It isn't cute, and it doesn't hit you over the head with the facts.
Don't get me wrong, I will be buying the tshirt, "This flat don't need fixing". Love it!
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I like this one also.... we have GOT to just get one for each day of the week!!!
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