I look for other flat chested women. A rant.
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We HATE solidified goo ! ! !
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Mel, hoping all is going well with the shingles. Bummer. Glad you are on treatment!
Some of you have mentioned using camis with foobs. Do the prostheses sort of swing with the cami or can you get a cami tight enough to hold them in place? I think a cami would be way more comfortable than a bra, but not sure about how much motion would be involved. I haven't tried one - had pretty mediocre fitting last year with a young fitter who really didn't seem to have a clue, but was very very sweet. Just not overly helpful or creative or imaginative, she didn't even suggest a cami, just told me they didn't have a bra to fit me but might be able to order one, then showed me some of the ugliest bras I have ever seen that would be the style she could order for me.
Nibbana, excellent education for the doc!!! Way to go!
Hoping all are recovering from Sandy and other storms, and having a good week.
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I put effort into finding a breast form store this week. It seems I will need to pay out of pocket and get reimbursed. Seeing as the plan is to try them on and see how they make me feel, I am putting the cart in front of the horse on that one, but I do want to know how it works.
I am going to put it aside until I feel fortified again.
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Linda-n3, the camis are close fitting and have pockets, also usually an elastic band. The comfortable ones only have the elastic band around the front section.
Melly, I hope the shingles clear up soon and that you have success in finding some forms you like when the time is right for you.
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MT, You can go with a lovely sort of texture...I chose skeins of the softest featheriest yarn I had and put them in a bra. Not a long term solution, buy certainly do-able to see how you like "foobs". The skeins flatten out, but so nice against skin. Yes, indeed, put it aside until you feel ready for this. Just keep an "artists" open eye for out of the box thinking on this. My brother-in-law suggested this thinking when I could not tolerate foobs. I still can't tolerate a bra....
LInda, you can't wear silicon with camis...it seems to have to be the microbead foobs, or the memoryfoam foobs. AQnd my camis are not tight at all, like I said, I order a size larger than what I am, I like them loose. The foobs can move around a bit, I just adjust them.
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I have worn silicone in some camis so that varies I guess.
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MT1, ladies:
Why not just get some of those sew in pockets, try with a reg bra and a home made micro bead form and start slow? Or the yarn is a novel idea too. Like I said before, I don't sew- so I ordered a microbead pair for 28 dollars from a lady online who makes them- just as a try me. I did order tiny ones-basically AA as I've decided I will be more
comfortable with the minimal change from flat to Foob- especially at work. I
was a B in my past life! Anyhow,
some online suppliers will bill your
insurance for you- You just pay co
pay. Liberator Medical is one. They
contact your doctor for the orders-
and claim to have an easy return
policy. I also thought of making a little donut out of a sock and using velcro. :0) .0 -
I have been told to be careful about the ones that require reimbursement. Check with your insurance co and make sure they will reimburse you.
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Insurance & Camisoles - I'm not sure the coding for it, but they billed it as if it were a bra - All three places that I shop are providers for my insurance, so they bill the insurance directly.
Crystal - This is my favorite place to go for a prosthesis fitting - if you tell them my name (Linda Rochon, Bobby's daughter) they will probably tell you how they code the cami's to bill for insurance - http://www.ladiesfirstchoice.com/
Also, have bought them through this place too, and they bill my insurance - http://www.justlikeawoman.com/
I wear silicone prosthesis's with all of my cami's, and the work fine, and I'm big busted. All of the cami's I've been wearing are by places like Amoena that make mastectomy bra's.
MT1 - if you're going for a fitting, it's best to make an appointment, and plan to take plenty of time, find out who has the most stock, and tell them you want to see all they've got. They have so many different types of prosthesis, it's taken me over 2 years to find this out. They hang differently, they're shaped different, they are for all different body types. it's really kind of fascinating!
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Starak -Thanks for the link to celebraties that say no to silicone. It's nice to see women who know big plastic boobs are not necessary in order to be beautiful.
I never knew you could put breast forms into camis. That was one of the reasons why I only wore my foob about two times. It is silicone, but only a size 2 to match my remaining breast, but I couldn't tolerate the bra on my chest. A year later, I still can't tolerate a bra. I tried a homemade foob in a very light support bra for a wedding I went to, but as it was a looser type of bra the foob kept moving around and I kept checking to make sure it was in the right palce. It all just seemed like too much work and discomfort and I couldn't help feeling fake. so I gave it up. If you know a website I can find a cami with pockets, that would be appreciated, as I am having the second breast off on the 28th, and like MT1's husband, mine is having a very hard time with this.
On a brighter note - I have finally gotten brave enough to wear a sweater to work without also wearing a scarf to hide my breast/no breast. As I have mentioned, I am only a 34 A so there is not a huge difference between the sides, but enough that it makes me uncomfortable with the lack of symmetry. Anyway, no one I encountered stared. When I went for my flu shot today, the nurse said she hadn't noticed until after I told her that she would have to put it in the right arm as I had lymph nodes removed from the left. She says next year to remind her to put the flu shot into my thigh - has anyone else had it done that way? Anyway, she says that her mother had breast cancer and a double mastectomy and the two of them speak to women who are having a difficult time adjusting to the whole situation. She told me about a beautiful recon job she recently saw and that her mom wears foobs and looks just great. I told her that I am choosing to remain flat. She only asked me if I was ok with that, but I got the impression that most of the women she helps adjust, are not okay with it. But I guess that makes sense, because if you are okay with being flat, you wouldn't be asking to speak to a support worker (unless you wanted to talk about the effect of treatments of course).
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Djustme - At least worth a look around seeing as your silicone is quite small. A whole industry has sprung up out there making camis and bras with pockets to hold modesty pads. They are made for women with breasts but I think may be workable for us though in some case with minor modifications. The pocketed Genie and Ahh bras are prime examples that are typically in the As Seen On TV section of a number of local stores. But far beyond that, just start looking really closely through the racks in the likes of Walmart, Target and Kohls. They have become really common not only in regular bras and camis but in the active/exercise areas. Sometimes you have to look at the back side of the shelf to find the entrance to the pocket. Look for any reference to removable modesty pads. I have even run across such things at TJ MAXX or Marshalls. There is at least one model of the Barely There bras with pockets.
I have two Amoena Valetta pocketed camis which are made specifically for mastectomy. I do love mine especially in the heat of summer but are not cheap at around $50 US.
Barbara
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The cami's I got are mastecomy cami's and are made Amoena one is Talia style and the other Valietta
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I love my Still You camisoles. They're not cheap, but I've had mine for years and wear them almost every day. They are unstructured, kind of like a shelf bra (elastic) with pockets, so all but the smallest, lightest silicone forms won't work (too heavy). I wear mine with the ABC First Forms (memory foam) or with other foam forms. I wind up with very natural-looking shape but no weight and it feels as if I have nothing on, only better because I love the soft feel of the fabric against my skin.
I can't wear the Amoena camisoles--they just doesn't fit me well or feel comfortable. It's so individual. For me, the Still You camisole is my one indispensable garment.
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I'll have to remember that Erica for after my prophylactic MX next spring! They sound quite comfy!
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Inspired by somebody here, I made a super-easy MX cami the other day. I bought a snug-fitting tank and a cheap bra with molded cups, but no frills. Put on cami, then bra, pinned bra to tank, cut off straps and back, sewed bra to tank, leaving an opening to stick in foobs.
The geni bras did not work for me (bad fit), but I found some cheap jogging bra-like tops, intended for looking cute in yoga class, I think. The fabric is double, so I simply stitch a line center front and cut small openings for the foobs. I use the modesty shields that came with the geni bras for foobs, with a little material glued to the back. They work well, because there is no "edge," especially when they go in the molded bra.
As long as the foobs are relatively small, both of these solutions work perfectly well. I see no reason to suffer with proper bras.
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Happy day today - my referral has come through to see another plastic surgeon about my extremely painful hypertrophic MX scarring. He is not a reconstruction bod - he focuses more on melanomas, sarcomas etc. What a massive relief it will be to have a consultation with someone who is NOT determined to chop my stomach off and sew it to my chest.
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Greenfrog - this really does sound promising. YEAHHHHH!!!!! Do keep us posted.
Barbara
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Barbara (Erica) - Where do you buy the Still You Cami? I did not see it on Metro or Park.
Barbara
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I have a question regarding a prior discussion of nipples. I know many of you have husbands or other significant men in your lives and I would even be up to hear what they have to say on the subject. This came to mind when I was looking around Metro for camis and ran across stick on nipples. Even had a moment of might be fun to have a pair to stick on breast forms.
When it comes to putting them on a flat chest, my initial knee jerk reaction is that instead of looking like a woman with surgery and scars, that it would really start to look male. Note that I have never seen a photo of what this might actually look like on real women with flat chests. I know there was discussion about tattooing nipples at one time. Has anyone actually done it on a totally flat chest? Speaking nipples here. I know some have gone to beautiful elaborate tattoos to cover their scars but that would seem to be different.
Just wondering what you all might think. Has anyone experimented with the concept on any level? If you feel comfortable asking men in your life, please share their thoughts.
Barbara
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Barbara, I have seen a pic of both PS created nips and tattooed nips on a non-reconstructed chest, but for the life of me cannot recall where. I had the same feeling you described, that it looked more male than nips covering surgery scars. Others may feel differently, and to each their own. Someone who really misses their nipples might find it reassuring. I have seen those fake nipples and almost ordered them when I had reconstructed, just to see what they would look like. I eventually decided that with my recon problems I wasn't going to bother having another surgery, so I never ordered. I know some of the recon gals have played with them to see how they would look. More expensive ones come in several sizes and colors, but there is a cheaper version that has less options. Made by different manufacturers. I will ask my husband about the tattooing of nips on a flat chest, as I think he would talk about it. I do know after the fact when I had deconstructed that my husband said I looked more like myself flat than I did with implants. I am pretty sure putting fake nipples on them wouldn't have made any difference. Anyway, I will ask him about nips on a flat chest, but I can almost predict his answer.
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Hi all! Just browsing this forum because I have been in the process of ordering some new Silicone forms. My first set was too big, so i went down. (A 6 to a 5) which I later decided were also too big. So I started wearing just the cups that fit inside genie bras and bathing suits and sport dresses, etc. Occasionally I switch to wear a Nearly Me sport inset, size 3 (a B cup) but the squatty triangle shape makes me feel like I have saggy boobs. (sigh) anyway, going to try an oval from trulife, size 4. this is supposed to be a B cup. I'll let you know how it works if anyone is wondering, ie trying to find the right fit for them.
But I am mainly writing today to say that I found some pretty, pocketed camis from Classique, which I ordered through liberator medical and which will be billed to my insurance through liberator as bras.
While I'm here, does anyone have a set of silicone forms they just love? how about leisure foams they can run in in work out rooms that do not pop out of their sports bras? how about favorite mastectomy sports bras? I am going back to work in January and will need (for my own self-confidence) to look the same at work as i do in the hotel gym. (I travel alot, and my collegues and i often find ourselves in the gym at the same time. I just want to look consistent, so i'll need gym boobs.)
the joys of cancer never fade!
Thanks all, and God bless!
Kimberly
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So i got my try me forms- my husband thought they looked nice. Unfortunately, I thought they looked STOOOOPID!! Like I was a kid playing dress up. Oh well....we shall see.
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After a week of UNCOMFORTABLE at work, so much so that it was to a "pain" level by the time I got home, TODAY, I WENT INTO THE RESTROOM AT WORK AND REMOVED MY FOOBS, and CAMISOLE. . . . NO ONE HAS NOTICED - of course, there are not many people on this floor on a friday afternoon (I work at a law firm, ha ha) and the ones that are here are male and wouldn't say anything (I work in a labor & employment law litigation defense department, ha ha ha ha) . . . FLAT might work with some outfits . . . AHHHHHHH if feels better, that is for sure. I think I'm going to try and find micro beads and soft fabric and make my old softy foobs - the ones on line that I have found cost $50 each . . . come on, it can't be THAT expensive to make!!!!
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FernFM - Stay flat. I'm a lawyer, and lawyers are incredibly unobservant. We're too busy formulating arguments and strategies to actually notice people and how they look. A defense labor and employment litigation department, come on, quite apart from the fact that they wouldn't say anything because they don't want to be sued, they probably don't even know what season it is. My DH, also a litigator, shaved off a mustache. No one noticed. He dyed his completely white head to a youthful blond. Nothing.
Be comfortable.
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Barbara (Starak),
There are several online sites which carry the Still You camisole: the Still You website (http://stillyou.com -- they call the cami the Still You Post-Surgery Top); Make Me Heal (http://www.makemeheal.com/mmh/product.do?id=13672 --they call the cami the Hope Tank Top); and the Women's Personal Health Resource (http://www.womanspersonalhealth.com/still-you-mastectomy-camisoletank-top -- they call it the Still You Mastectomy Camisole Tank Top). So, the same top known by a variety of names. I first saw it at the Dana Farber Friends Boutique, so it is carried in some stores, too.
As you can see, it is expensive (around $68), but I truly have my original Still You camis, purchased in 2006. I machine wash them but always dry them flat. Once I accidentally left one in the drier and it came out okay, just a tad smaller and with a little bit of pilling. If you don't make that mistake, they can last in excellent condition for a really long time.
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Linda, Could you please tell me what size your silicons are, the ones you wear with the Amoena Cami?
I love the Still You cami, but I can see it doesn't like the weight of my size 5 silicons, but it feels very good when I put them in that. It moves well, feels ok...but the fabric is straining...
Well, lately I am back to wearing nothing because quite simply, they all bother me by 3 PM or so.
Back to the title of this discussion...I still wait to see another flat woman....for real, in person, not in a photo.
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Barbara (Starak),
Regarding the nipples, I tried out silicone nipples and I have to say they just looked weird and wrong on my flat chest. And they definitely didn't do anything for my DH, though he thought it was an interesting experiment. But what does work for him is when I wear breast forms with fairly prominent nipples. As he puts it, male brains are programmed to be aroused by the shape of a woman's breast, doesn't matter if it's a silicone foob or the real thing. And he definitely gets turned on by touching the nipples of the foobs. Sorry if this is TMI, but I think it's good to share this stuff. While I'm sharing, I must admit that I get turned on when he touches my foob nipple, even though I can't feel it--just knowing he's doing it triggers those old nerve pathways in the brain, which was a very pleasant surprise to me after my mastectomy, as my breasts had always been such an important part of my sex life. To be honest, if I touch my foob nipple myself, that arouses me, too,
I should add that my wonderful DH doesn't need me to wear breast forms in order to get aroused. He does just fine with my body as it currently is and, in fact, likes touching my flat chest. That's the one thing I feel a bit shy about, even though I have no shyness about him seeing my flat chest. So, sometimes, for my sake as much as for his, I wear breast forms in a nice bra when I want to be intimate.
Barbara
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Maybe we should reconsider a flat fest, maybe aiming for next June.
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I would have loved a flat-fest, but I'm just so far away from most of you. Well, not as far as greenfrog and Momine.
Starak, I experimented with temporary nipple tattoos.
The ones that are available are I think more meant to be used on reconstructed breasts because they're big - areola and nipple about the same diameter as my real ones were. Male areolas just aren't that size. The location is also different. A very flat woman who just happened to be very flat would have nipples higher than a man's are in relation to the crease at the bottom of the breast. This I know because in frustration, not wanting to get nothing out of my visit, I asked bad PS #1 where my nipples should go if I were to do something to create pseudo-nipples. She measured upward from the crease, marked a location, and told me she thought it would look strange. I wasn't actually considering nipples then, I was considering piercings (still think about that, but would feel very stupid having put a hole in my body if I developed an infection, because my neutrophil count never recovered after chemo). Anyway, male nipples are much closer to the crease, further down on the breast.
Maybe I'll find the tattoos, play with them again, and take a picture. They were not too terribly expensive and they were applied exactly the same as all the animals, race cars, ghosts, etc that I have put on my kids.
Have to add this, because of what Alexandria said. I'm in healthcare. Not only do I have patient after patient tell me about some loved one's breast cancer without any apparent hint of awareness that they are speaking to a woman with no boobs, I have had medical professionals with whom I work fail to notice. I believe them, because it generally comes up when they say something that prompts me to mention that I had cancer, which I don't hide, and they are genuinely surprised. I really think very few people are very observant.
I also think I look just fine, but that's kind of a different issue.
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FernM - I am a legal assistant in a law firm and have been flat much of the nearly 30 months since my BMX. Okay, during the time I was still out on leave, I went into the office and my boss, a senior partner, and "announced" that there would be no reconstruction and no prosthetics, I imagined it might be a little shocking in the beginning but I expected they would get over it, turned and walked out. Obviously as much I was upfront, confident and proactive, I was expecting something of a big deal, the stares... Never happened. I work in a corporate high rise. I go up and down the elevators every week day, walk and shop downtown nearly every day, not to mention the summer interns, and I would guess to this very day, most of the people I see all the time still have not caught on. For those who do know, it is just normal to them. It is simply Barbara. Once I started wearing the breast forms the first of the year, I only found one person in the office who actually noticed I suddenly had foobs without being told. After I told several women in the office, there was a bit of notice by them for a day or two, then everyone was off in their own little world again. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have ripped off the bra and forms halfway through the day because I could not take another minute. No notice. People are focused on their work and in their own little world.
Really you all, why do we think this is important anyway? For the same reasons that we each look in the mirror and see imperfections that only we would ever notice, I get the hypervigilance we direct at ourselves. I understand how you may not be ready to make the step to go flat yourself. I get that and would not want any of you to feel pressure to do so. But, can we step back and look at this as a spectator for a moment. You all have seen photos of Koo Stark, Linda Ellerbee, me and others fully clothed and flat. Do you look at us and feel repulsed? If you saw me in the grocery store or mall, dressed as I am in the avatar, and you were with your children or grandchildren, would you feel the need to grab their hand and whisk them out of the store before they saw me? If you said Yes, Really??
What I have come to realize for myself is that I really want to see someone else who is flat and so the truth is I am out in the world looking. I soon came to realize that if a woman is not overly endowed, I might have to scrutinize to know that she is just small and not truly flat. If I have to look that hard to know and I have a reason, why would someone with no reason to look ever notice much of anything? Why do we think this is any more important than anything else like blue eyes, grey hair, nice blouse... I am still looking for a real live standing in front of me person who is flat.
Barbara
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