The Hermit Club

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  • dutchiris
    dutchiris Member Posts: 783

    I know my head says not mets but I had 19 pos. nodes AFTER chemo.  Who has even heard of that?  I hate to be pessimistic but worse news is coming eventually no doubt.

  • dutchiris
    dutchiris Member Posts: 783

    I neglected to thank you all for the support.  Thank you so much!

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,976

    Dutchiris- this is very hard to do, but each time I get checked for something I say to myself I will go in not assuming anything, but hope for the best and will deal with the news whatever it is when it comes. This is easier said then done, and perhaps you know some risks you already may have. 

    Breathe deeply, remain steady and keep us posted. As several have commented, we will be in your pocket with you as you go through this.

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646

    Dutch.....hugs and prayers.....in your pocket......

  • dutchiris
    dutchiris Member Posts: 783

    I know Jazzy.  I had several cysts in my left breast over the last few years as well as scar tissue and just being lumpy in both breasts.  I thought this last time was more of the same but did have it checked anyway.  I wasn't worried just doing what should be done and bam, cancer.  

    I know it doesn't work this way but it feels like if I let my guard down it will happen again.

  • SallyS70
    SallyS70 Member Posts: 816

    MereMere, welcome.  How is your partner feeling today ... better I hope?

    duckyb1, are the washer problems fixed?  Did the spewing water cause any lasting damage?

    Jazzy, thanks for asking about rads ... 4 down and going well.  My RO and I had a nice chat on Wednesday.  My weight was down less than a pound.  I had been afraid it was up.  Thanks for the protein reminder.  Carbs call me ... actually they scream, "Come eat me!"  I enjoy Greek yogurt, so I have been adding 1/2 cup of raspberries and 1T of honey to the 20 grams of protein container and enjoying that for one meal.  It's high protein and feels like a treat.  I hope the wind-up of your current project will go as smoothly as possible so that you can get on a happier path for you.  Have you ever gone to the professional breakfast before?  The better hours you are moving to next week sound like a good thing, but you seem to be saying the personnel atmosphere may be stressful.  I hope the excitement of your "on the horizon" new endeavor will help make the next 6 months smoother.

    Cami, FBI and SWAT... wow ... where did you work?  SWAT ... was your life in danger?

    dutchiris, I am joining the pocket party.  (((hugs)))

    Teka, the kitty must have had a successful birding mission.  Does she bring you her catch?

    I hope that Friday goes smoothly for all you Hermits and that the week end is pleasant.

  • CCFW
    CCFW Member Posts: 570

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  • CCFW
    CCFW Member Posts: 570

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  • SallyS70
    SallyS70 Member Posts: 816

    Sorry Teka.  I am glad she is a bird watching cat.  We have a heated birdbath in our yard because we enjoy the featheries all year.  

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,976

    Sally- glad things are going well with the rads. My RO was one of the best doctors I have ever dealt with. Really good at what he does, but also had more empathy than most. I hope you continue to do well through the rest. Even though we had different types of rads, I was still exhausted by what I went through. 

    Dutch- yes, once we have this blasted diagnosis, we must be vigilant. I saw a woman on a tv show that said "there are two kinds of women in the world 1) the ones who have been diagnosed with bc and 2) the rest that fear getting it" (or maybe in our case, having it return since we have already been through #1?)

    Teka- your kitty is gorgeous. Maine coons are cool cats. And there is a birdwatchers thread?

    We broke down the command center and feeling a big letting down, but glad to be done with it. We leave shortly and going to have a relaxing evening tonight. And get rested up for some spa time on Sunday! Whoot whoot!

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,976

    image

  • CCFW
    CCFW Member Posts: 570

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  • SallyS70
    SallyS70 Member Posts: 816

    Jazzy, enjoy your spa time on Sunday.  What kind of spa treatments will be included?

    CCFW, keep watching for ice as it lurks around and is so dangerous.  What is kitchari?

  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 2,700

    hi everybody. i just wanted to let you guys know a little about what is going on with me. after treatment, at my 6 month follow up mammo, they only did my affected boob. at the year follow up, that is when they did both for the first time. and then they wanted more pictures of the left unadulterated one. oh boy here goes, i told myself, but was resigned to hear what i would hear. so when i went into the room to wait for my surgeon to tell me the news, my bs came in, sat down, and told me, kath, you have microcalcifications. and i said "but doctor, they were there a year ago" she jumped up off that couch, literally stomped her foot at me, and said that if i was going to fight her every step of the way, that she could no longer be my doctor.  and she told me when she first walked in that i looked good. and after she said that about  not willing to "fight" with me, then she told me that i looked like shit, and she used that word. well, do you think that might have had something to do with her atitude toward me, and how frightened i was? is that a comforting way to tell someone that it might be back? and they had thrown me so off balance by this, and why did they not go into the waiting room to tell my love of my life to come and wait with me while they gave me the news? and so i think what happened is, that they went to compare them with priors, and found they never did them. only an mri. and mri's dont show calcifications. and so all of this was six months ago. so when i got back from that appt, i looked thru my papers, and saw that she had written down at the very beggining that if they couldnt find the original mammos, that the would just redo them. and they never did. and the main reason drs get sued is because they fail to perform basic diagnostic tests. so i think she knew that she could be in deep sh*T. and so joy, i get to go see her on monday. and i am really not looking foward to it. i felt bullied by her, and could barely eat or sleep for 3 weeks. and was a mess, just about the way she treated me. and at that point, i was so fatigued and unwell still, that the amount of energy it would take to find another place was daunting. and plus some of my other drs there i like very much. and i do feel a lump of some kind on my rib cage, and it does feel like it has gotten bigger in the last few weeks. i have been "complaining " of pain there for a year and a half, and was summarily dismissed. and i am so angry and just freaked out about how i feel as if it is anything, she will try to blame me. cause i feel like that is what she does, and has a way of skewing what i tell her. this is so not good. and i try not to make him go with me, because it is just really hard for him, but i dont have anyone else to ask. my friend i have is moving to pennslyvania, and i cannot bear to tear her away from all that she must have done by tuesday. i do have an antianxiety pill to take that day, though. it is not that though. i am just really disturbed at the thought of seeing her, but part of me wants to, just to hear what she has to say. thanks. for reading this, for understanding, and does anyone have any good ideas? i started writing this 5 hours ago, and then went and played with my friend lucie's three boys, i cant ask her, her hands are full! i have had a hard time even deciding to tell you all, please forgive me for taking up so much space.

  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 2,700

    ...and teka, i am sorry and dont want that post to bum you out, but i couldnt see your post while mine was being written.

  • spookiesmom
    spookiesmom Member Posts: 8,178

    if not a witness, a recording device

  • Furfriend2
    Furfriend2 Member Posts: 168

    Hi Hermies,

    I am behind the eight ball with you here but I love all the humor!!

    Teka, who is that peeking out under the covers? So so cute!

  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 2,700

    that horrible experience was 6 months ago. but she had waited 3 weeks to call me and tell me the 9 biopsies were benign. and i dont know if i even believe her. so my next scheduled mammo is monday. when i started really feeling this new lump on my ribcage, i called. and no one called me back. twice. once in november, and once in december. and evertime i tell the other doctors i see there, they do the most cursory of palpations, and say hmmm, i think it is your ribcage. i guess we will find out. but just today, it seems to be really causing a stitch in my side. and if i cant find someone to go with me, i think it would totally freak her out and piss her off if i brought a recording device. thanks for listening, and caring.

    and i will work on paragraphs, Teka. i was just trying to get it all out. i have pm'd women, but just wanted to let you all know.

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    OMG A Dr. talking like that to u Kath--Who the Eff does she/he think they are   oops excuse me I think they are mixed up with God in their picture and he is not. Do u have to stay with this non=professional idiot?  I'm sorry this happened at all, but u are no 1 (as Teka said) u can do what u want--I would call u'r PCP and tell them u want and need another DR. but I do remind u I have  big mouth and wouldn't take that chit from a Dr. or anyone else. Oh I don't swear or anything like that, my sarcasm speaks volumes.

    Jazzy u are on a roll, but just a few short months and u'll be done with this client.

    Dutch praying for good results. Every time we go for test, before time it's like now what? Damn disease.

    Teka I already love u'r cat, mine doesn't lay funny or do funny things, she's just  cuddler and sticks round me. And I love the pic with the dog and almost invisible cat.

    We have the same weather here in IL as in WI--it's still raining and the streets are bad. Supposed to go for some of my tests tomorrow, hell if it slippery nope, My Dr. always says u never show up anyway, why should I disappoint now. I always cancel.

    Mere are u 2 doing better tonite. When one is sick so is the other in a different way, LOL

    I feel so bad for anyone who is worrying about this disease which keeps on giving, I pray for all and ll good results. And whoever said they were sorry to rant or whatever, never say u'r sorry for how u feel here, ever.

  • Furfriend2
    Furfriend2 Member Posts: 168

    Teka,

    BTW-I'm love  w your beautiful baby SillyHeart

  • spookiesmom
    spookiesmom Member Posts: 8,178

    Oh my Dog! I did a non hermit thing tonite!  DH and I went out TOGETHER. To a concert!  I can't remember when that happened last. It was a Baroque concert, played with historically accurate instruments. Very cool. Beethoven and Hyden. Then we went for frozen yogurt.   

  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 2,700

    by the way, did you guys hear of the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? they couldnt get to sleep at night, wondering if there really was a dog.

  • Furfriend2
    Furfriend2 Member Posts: 168

    Kath-LOLHappyThumbsUp

    What the hell is wrong with these damn professionals?

  • SallyS70
    SallyS70 Member Posts: 816

    Spookiesmom, it sounds like you and your DH had an interesting evening.  Is the harpsichord from the Baroque era?  The harpsichord is my favorite "old" instrument.

  • SallyS70
    SallyS70 Member Posts: 816

    kathec, I hope you get better treatment on Monday and during any follow-up appointments.  

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    I forgot all bout a harpsichord I always enjoyed that but I admit I don't know anything about the Baroque period, when I was younger I just thought that meant u didn't have money,  I have learned things in the last 10 yrs. well not a lot.

  • dutchiris
    dutchiris Member Posts: 783

    Lol, Kathec :)  We are patients with a scary history and lingering side effects.  The doctor is suppose to be there for us.  We don't that kind of attitude from anyone...no one does.

    Lol, Cami too.  We just keep learning all the time..  Are you saying Im not Baroque?  

    Unofficially, there is nothing glaring on my bone scan.  Well except the arthritis in my upper neck that was also on my staging scan from Jan 2013.  That explained why my neck hurt.  Now we just need to figure out my lower back. 

  • dutchiris
    dutchiris Member Posts: 783

    I'm 48 and my body feels so old.

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711

    48===OMG u'r so young

    I've got new goggles teka and I'm wearing them so u foot won't hurt my eyes. Kath wear something with big pockets.

  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 2,700

    thanks Teka, cami, sally, furfriend, spookiesmom and all you great wenches. y'all are the best. and if it is nothing, i will send you all a present, but youd have to give me your adress. or give em to the firekraker! she knows where i live!