The Hermit Club
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48,crap, this is so not fair. they told me it was in there since 44, now i am 54. but the good thing dutch, is you ARE STRONG, and your cells are all probably less oxidized than someones even afew years older, and better able to bounce back. ok gonna go eat dinner. the only good recipe in the joy of cooking, page 427 chicken morengo. ooops, sorry about that chicken, cami. best to eat them.
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Katheyec- sorry to hear you have had such a difficult time. I remember you talking about feeling a lump around the rib cage and you are wise to have it checked out. Teka is very right about several things including needing to find a way to ensure you are getting the best info. If you don't have someone to go with you (sometimes I have, and other times noy), a tape recorder or recording device is a great way to keep your docs accountable. You can also insist your partner is there for any conversations around things.
If you don't feel you are being taken seriously, find another doctor. This is your health we are talking about and we need to be paid attention to carefully by our doctors. Whatever tests they did or did not do (should have done, or failed to do) are really not the focus here. If there is not enough imaging for comparison, the questions is what is there now and what do you need to do? Micro classifications can be nothing, or they can be something. Do you wait and have another mammo in six months to see if anything has changed? Or do they find a way to check them out now to rule out any chance of reoccurrence? And what is the story with that lump? That is what I would want to know.
Doing these follow ups and going in for check ups is very stressful and we never know what we are going to hear. Being as prepared as possible and trying to get the facts is what we want, but it is hard with all the fears that swirl around us during these conversations.
I am sorry your friend is moving away too. It sounds like you have had great connection together and it is hard on you to see her go. I suggest you find ways to keep in touch so you feel that connection as you go forward. Never the same as an in person experience, but I try to keep up with my friends near and far who care about me.
I am wishing you peace sister.
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CC- glad to hear you are getting some thaw over there. I hear about rivers filled with ice chunks, floods, you name it.
I am also sorry you have had some ups and downs. Anniversaries can trigger them. This time last year I was in AZ having the first of my rad treatments and just getting home from that. I remember how tired I was from the travel and treatments, and also had started working PT then too. Actually, I wonder how I got through all that? But I did, and you got through your treatments too. I think we are all still getting used to the the new normal. Be kind to yourself and know you do many things to take care of yourself. I saw a great thing about feelings on FB I have to find and send to you. Just being present with things sometimes allows them to be there and then pass.
I am going to PM you!
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Dutchiris- glad to hear there is nothing bigger going on, but arthritis can also be a problem too. I have some in my left shoulder, right ankle and suspect some other spots.
I am going to be 54 in a few months and went from being a relatively youthful 52 year old when I was diagnosed, to a much older feeling woman these days. Although I feel grateful to be able to work, take care of my business, home, still travel, I move a lot slower and don't find I am as social anymore. I need a lot more hermit time. Yoga and swimming are helping me a lot with my joint issues.
Sally- you asked about spa time? A friend I work with is taking me for a belated Xmas gift. We are going to this very cool earthy place and having a treatment called Trice is Nice- facial, hot oil hair treatment and foot treatment! Ooh la la! I have them do a brow waxing too, they do a nice job with that. My friend that is taking me has been working on the go live too, so with that finishing up this week, it turned out to be the perfect timing to do this. We are all feeling a bit fried.
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Egads, miss a day or two and there is no coming back! I am trying so hard to catch up!
Jazzy, so love grumpy cat!
yum, cami that pilot is a love!
Mere, no help here either, no recon....
Jazzy, sorry your co-workers are not the best for you. At some point, I think we all have to decide if working with troublesome people is worth the annoyance/frustration or not.
Dutchiris, holding you in my thoughts and prayers that all is just fine.
Aww Teka, who can't love that cat?! My Baby Boo is an indoor cat too, I suspect part Maine Coon. Though he likes to clack his jaws at the birds eating the birdseed I put out.
Cami, my DD commands a SWAT team, scares the he!! out of me the danger she is in sometimes.
CCFW, she is an inspiration. I can't imagine being anything other than being flat.
((((kathec))))
posting before it is lost...
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Spokie, the concert sounded wonderful. All I can say is enjoy all those moments/times!
Teka, Furfriend, I am sure there is so much more
"covering of their asses" than we really know. And that disturbs me a lot!
My head is nodding and I need to go to bed...will really try to catch up tomorrow...
Hugs
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kathec - use or borrow an I phone or other smart phone and record conversation without doctor knowing. Take a list of your questions and concerns and go through them methodically with the doctor. If she startsbeing aggressive again remind her firmly it is her job to listen to you as its your body and you have known it alot longer than her.
I am feeling over exposed here, and altho i know it was well meant i feel a bit judged about my decisión re chemo which was a very carefully thought out decision, and i know totally right for me.
Antibiotics definitely depressed me a lot, feel better now, but still really struggling with my new worse ugly chest, cannit even wear a T shirt, its all puckered and pitted up to collar bone and a different colour after being all smooth, fleshy and looking the same as other side........
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Lily- no judgement about the chemo here either. I think some people just ask questions to help under things better and support you. I like what you shared too for kathyec to help her, I go with questions too. I hope you have a peaceful day today.
Fell asleep at 6 p.m. last night and then woke up around 11 p.m. and was awake for a few hours. Back to sleep around 3 a.m. and then woke up at 7 a.m. Erratic sleep but just so tired yesterday after coming down off the go live and command center. I am going to make today an easy day (will go later to do swimming and weights for some exercise) and have the spa tomorrow.
I am going to work remote (from home) Monday and also decided it's time to not be on site on the client on Fridays again until we get closer to the next and final go live. It will help me to get back into better balance, to take care of my life and reduce my exposure to the management BS. I really do like the team I work with, we have developed a good rapport the past year. I just do not care for the project politics and some of the power hungry management types. There are a lot of people trying to make a name for themselves with this project, and hurting a lot of others in the process. Something I have seen time and time again in big orgs. Me, I am there to do the work, don't have to worry about promotions, raises, or the like. My job is to do the work and deliver on my contract. My goal is now to remain detached from the nonsense, finish this contract, and move on to better work for better people. You know, don't expect others to change, make a difference choice next time for my next project.
Teka- that photo comes from a page on FB called Hippie Peace Freaks where I get a lot of the photos I post. The woman who hosts the page is from New Zealand and think the photo is as well. I thought it was a peaceful good night photo for all.
Happy weekend one and all!
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Oh and I forgot to share something fun I am going to be doing this summer- going to the Aspen Jazz Festival! A friend of mine asked me if I wanted to go and she has a friend with a house in Aspen we can stay at that week. We bought our passes this week and the line up includes Trombone Shorty, Diana Krall (ooh one of my favorites) and Steve Winwood. There will be a lot of other local jazz groups around too.
Plus I have have a friend from a youth group in church back east who lives there and we have kept in touch but not seen each other in 20 years since the last time I was in Aspen. She and her husband are in town then and may join us for the music.
The really great thing about this is that it is at the end of this contract and will be a really fun thing to do after I finish. Something to look forward to this year to get me through until this project is over!
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dutchiris, when do you see the doctor? Hopefully, he will find a treatment for your lower back pain which must be really annoying and limiting.
Jazzy, the foot treatment at the spa would be my favorite. I hope you enjoy everything; what a wonder way to end the "go live." My brows could sure use a good waxing. The Aspen Jazz Festival trip sounds wonderful ... good friends plus good music plus a house sounds like a very relaxing way to end a stressful period. It will probably be energizing as well as relaxing.
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Hi hermits- doing laundry, paying bills, picking up the yard from the wind storm yesterday. Do I know how to have fun or what on a saturday?
CC makes a good point here for those struggling with the specialists. Your PCP knows you and your medical history the best, and will be sure you get to the right doctors. My PCP hand picked my breast surgeon and MO, although she was less familiar with the radiation approach I did or place I did it. But said she had more patients having this type of treatment. I have been going to her since I moved to NM in 1996, and she has done right by me for the most part.
A few years back, I was having gyn issues and she sent me to an ob/gyn in her practice group that was AWFUL. He starting pushing the next surgery he thought I needed in the recovery room after a lapro procedure, then called me a few days after I was home and was horrible to me on the phone. I talked to my PCP and said he was not the right gyn for me, so she referred me to someone else who is very good. I honestly think she probably had to refer him because he was in her group and probably needed patients. I talked to several other friends who had very bad experiences with him too. Someone who used to work for him, that I met later on said he was all about doing surgeries and making money. Not all doctors are good doctors. He has since retired, thank god!
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Lily I feel so bad if u think any of us were judgmental--because I know in my hearts no one meant to be, questions yes, but to judge anything u or any of us do is not why we are here. We're here to support and help in anyway we can and judging is not one of the reasons. Please don't stop sharing thinking that is a problem, cuz right now u'r so very sensitive and we just want to help.
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Jazzy I love it---it seems as if it's long time but it really isn't and u'll have all this time to look forwad to it. And it's something that u will over enjoy, U will need it.
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Cami- how is your energy? You mentioned you were very tired lately and going to have some tests? Any updates on that for us? Only if you want to share.
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lily55, i for sure am not judging you. i wish i had put it off for as long as possible myself, or thru it out the wundow altogether. for my type i think it does the most harm, and that hormonals do the most good for my type anyway. but they made me feel xtremly pushed towards it, before i had any time for research. i am one who reads the online medical oncology reports from researchers, and not just the abstracts. so i was talking to pbrain about this very subject. how can we make an informed decision, when they give us next to no information.
Jazz, beautiful photo. i think CC and i should both attempt to paint it on canvas or paper. i would love to see that place in person! you know, i wanted to let you guys know i do have friends in the real world, it is just they are all admirably professional, gifted, busy women, but we do randomly meet, when i am not hermitting!
i am wandering around the house, just trying to catch up on chores, and....it makes me happy to think of ALL of you here, my favorite place to hang out online. i hate to say it but the weather is great. but it is dangerously low on water. did anybody see niagara falls on the news? it is freezing beautifully, first time that cold there in 70 years. i am going to look for more on you tube. stunning. thanks all
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Kathyec- you sound good today! Weather here in the SW good also, nice mild winter day!
I too have great friends I connect with as I can. I find a few have fallen away but in some cases, they are overwhelmed with their own lives, with work, children, and/or elder care issues, etc. But I think some just avoid me now too, and know not everyone is going to be on this ride going forward. I have learned to let go of things with grace and spend time with those who want to spend time with me!
And yes, I saw Niagra falls as well as the ice chunks in Lake Michigan. Friends in CT tell me there are t-storm there today. Crazy weather!
I just finish paying the last of my end of the year taxes I needed to do before we file the annual biz and personal returns. Gotta fill that account up again now.
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CC- it came off the Hippie Peace Freaks page on FB. I think it is from somewhere in New Zealand. We don't have pretty water like that here.
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Jazzy.. I see my PCP for a physical Feb 7 or 10 or 20th? Who can remember? Too tired to check. Currently out of town for dance competition. It's a busy weekend.
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Know what I mean?
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Hi gals everyone sounds OK.
Jazzy I'll always share my stuff---I'm going this week, I was planning on doing some today, LOL but I was to tired to go to see why I'm so tired.
The weather is crazy here too, it did get warmer got loads of rain--and then they tell u if it were snow it would have been 24 in., who cares, it wasn't snow. It actually didn't melt as much snow as I thought it would, oh well it's only January.
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Pretty, but sooooooo glad NOT to be there.
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...love it cami, "too tired to go see why im tired"! and i want just a little bitty coma for myself. i do feel better today, it really helped to talk with you all about it, and inspite of not wanting to be here, great to be here! played with my boymanfriend, and ignored bc.
cc, we dont have to paint as dark as it looks, but yeah, i agree. maybe that photo would lend itself more to acrylic than watercolor. at least you ARE painting!
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jazz, is that niagara?
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OHHHHHH,AWHHHHH, photo is a beaut!!!
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Hermies,
Just want to share with you I actually felt pretty tonight at our work holiday party. I treated myself to a new hat and new dress
It felt good. I have been feeling ugly/tired/ blah so it was nice for once. Tried to drink a glass of Pinot but didn't taste right ...oh well soon enough all the taste buds will be back in action. Love you gals!!!!
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