The Hermit Club
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teka i know i did not know how to take it hope i didnt upset anyone posying it here
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Good Morning All,
Lily, please don't feel bad about expressing any of your feelings. We are here to listen. I wish I had words that would help. Please know that we care about you. (((hugs)))
I just got out of bed. After putting off a Walmart visit yesterday, I am going to have my 2cups of half caff and go. Since the store is so big and I tend to wander around it, maybe I will consider it my walk for the day ... no, our weather is too nice to miss being outside. Sun seems to help me feel more a part of the universe.
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its a cloudy day! its a cloudy day! but, where is our cami?
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My nephew, Teddy, & his wife Melissa had twin girls yesterday. They were born at 24 weeks weighing 1.3 & 1.2 lbs. Their names are Gaelic.....Dechlan (full of Goodness) and Sloan (Warrior). They are doing scans tomorrow to make sure the brains are ok. Prayers appreciated.
Teddy put his wedding band on the arm of one of the girls. The ring was too big.
Paula
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Soteria, prayers sent for Dechlan and Sloan and their parents and all of the family.
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Paula how marvelous it's this time that so many under weighed babies have such a good prognosis and they end up being fine, even tho they are so tiney Bless their little hearts- Twins--and good strong names. (((PRAYERS)))
Chit I'm just getting thru my day--I washed clothes Yes I did, took a shower Yes I badly needed it now I smell like a luscious field of flowers, that won't last tho. So this family better appreciate while it lasts. Oh and I talked to my sister for almost 2 hrs. and really said nothing as usual. We just talk. So that's been my day not remembering what day it was, I just realized it's Sunday??? Where the hell did Saturday go??? I must have gone thru it drunk ---again.
Wishing everyone one a good SUNDAY
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My Saturday--oh well I didn't feel a thing
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Hi hermits- another nice day here. But we worry as the forecast is for dry weather now through April. We depend on our winter pack for water. Well, I washed my car, figuring it was not going to rain, but hoping to bring on some moisture? I saw some green things poking up out of the gardens, and it is far too soon for that to happen.
Went to my friend's party last night and sat with two very nice men who were great conversationalists. Husbands of women I know. We talked about travel, sports cars and Jewish delis. I am not Jewish (both of them are though), but love the deli food! My friend seem to have a great turn out and a great 60th celebration.
I have not been as social for awhile as you all know, but am trying to get out more to connect and reconnect with people. Pretty selective about where I go and who I spend time with these days, but this felt like one I wanted to do. I felt a bit like a fish out of water at first, as I feel like I have lost some of my social butterfly tendencies with all the hermitting, but felt comfortable relatively quickly. The party was only two hours which was perfect, just enough but not too much time. I do well with dealing with people with my consulting work, but find small talk very hard now. In the end, I was glad I went.
Soteria- those babies are very small but there is so much they can do for the wee ones that are born small. I hope all the organs are developed and they can just be taken care of in the NICU and grow. Prayers for the babies and the family. Good strong names, as Cami says!
Lily- you mentioned recently you went out to walk your dogs. Are you getting out for fresh air a bit more as you can?
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Jazzy I'm glad u went, I honestly can't imagine u'd be lost for any words but u know how u feel--see u had a good time--I notice when I go out if I'm not out to long I do well when it starts running long I start hurting more and more and feel uncomfortable or I just get the big D--either way I like to "party" for a lesser amount of time, unless it is here--then I'm more comfortable leaving and going into my room and resting just a bit and then re-entering the party-works better for me.
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cami! is that really you!?! omygodess! i am going to go ahead and laugh, now, assuming its not. jazzy, that b.d. gathering sounds just wonderful. and Paula, those ARE beautiful and strong names for the twins...
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teka. you know i will. probably 5,6 times. cause i will have fogotten its mlk day, and plus, i even forget when he tells me he's already gotten it, and some days i forget that i have already gotten it, myself! HA!
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LOL no Kath it's not me, but if I really did look like that, I wouldn't care if it were me.
Teka I was looking up coon cats, some of them are huge, is u'r a big one or just normal siz?
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I had a great day, but then, Sundays are always my favorite. Church starts at 10:30 am. We're non-denominational. Great praise & worship, awesome preaching. Then our group of 6 including my 11 year old Grandaughter, Jana, went to Logan's Roadhouse for lunch. My BFF turned 65 today. At the end of lunch the servers came to our table and asked her to step out to the middle of the floor. They got the attention of the entire resturant, then announced her birthday while everyone applauded & yelled YeeHaw! They gave her a dessert. Of course, she wanted to hang us for embarrassing her like that. She's a real clothes horse so I gave her a bracelet for her BD.
Came home for a nice winters nap, then watched Revenge, & Blacklist with DH.
How was your day?
Paula
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Heres one.
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I have a black, silver, white male Maine Coon Cat. He is large but not against this beautiful orange Maine Coon. Wow!
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hi teka - not a plan no it just annoys me intensely when the be positive mantra burden is in the ether, its a crock of ****
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Jazzy glad you went out....just want you to take care of yourself and hopefully you are slowing down...how is the car?
Lily worried about you, you can come and vent anytime you want..
Cammie me too...love sitting in my room not being bothered by anybody...
Am doing ok, went to DQ and brough ice cream sandwiches home, and of course someone ate one...chemo again on wednesday but made it through the last one, was sick until today and throat is hurting and ear also, ricola is over there.. finished the z pac they gave me!!!
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Hi hermits- went to see the nutritionist today around my blood sugar issues. Really good conversation and going to check my A1C again to see if the changes I made to diet are helping. Going to do some journaling around food, exercise, and testing blood sugar around meals to see where we can better adjust things. I really liked her, I wish I had seen a nutritionist years go (insurance only pays for it in certain situations). They would be better off having everyone doing nutritional counseling if you ask me!
What I find interesting no matter whether I talk to anyone in the medical field or people in general is no one really understands that you don't feel the same after bc treatment. So many hear talk of fatigue, and I know I just have days that come even during less busy days that still knock me flat. "Anatrozole days" as I call them. I would say I feel around 90-95% most days, but definitely, am not the same person I was before it all went down. Maybe I just need to accept that and stop trying to convince people I don't have the same energy anymore.
Blondie- I am slowing down and taking care of myself. Sleeping much better these days too! Car is doing better, one more repair to do on it, probably around the March time frame. Now I am working on taxes for my business and self (ugh).
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I'm thinking of you, kathec, and hoping for the best possible results.
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Kathyec- fingers crossed everything turns out okay from your tests this week.
Teka- thinking of you today on the anniversary of your diagnosis. Never a good memory, but think how far you have come in four years time. I hope you can make this week an easy one.
Lily- thinking of you today as well. Wishing you peace.
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Teka - 4 years eh......? Congratulations but it stinks as well doesn´t it.....
Kathec.....waiting to hear your results, we are here no matter what they are......
I know I sound ungrateful but I don´t feel that mutilating surgery saved my life, cancer took my life and replaced it with one I don´t like, and increasingly find intolerable, I am now forever stuck in Hobsons choice, both equally intolerable, especially around reconstruction, can´t stay as I am as too repelled by myself so much so after this long still cannot take a bath, and dont have the option of a normal life ever......plus these damn hormone pills are now biting again and some days I wake up with very painful joints as per letrozole.......but different...I already have degenerative disc disease etc and no one is even mentioning bone scans or anything to check all still ok so in a few years time, if i am still alive, I could not be able to help myself by exercising, walking my dogs etc, but be trapped in a wheelchair....or do i stop the b****y hormones but still exercise..which also helps my mood...see what I mean more no win choices.....
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Lily, I was also dx at stage III in July 2012. Since that time, I've had 3 bone scans, 2 MRIs, a CT, and a pet scan. Have you asked your MO why they haven't done any scans at all? I only had 3 bone scans because they were concerned about my shoulder in the first 2. Thank God everything looked normal in the third one.
Paula
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Teka, they did brain scans yesterday. The neonatal Dr. said everything looked good to him, but he's not trained to read them. They'll get those results today. Both girls are very active and have passed the first 72 hours without problems.
Yesterday the nurse told them, that Dechlan had wiggled out of her snuggy, and was trying to escape the incubator.
Thanks for asking Teka.
Paula
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Lily u sound like me--First I have 2 degenerative discs and lower vertebrae so I went to PT and said will this undegenerate them --no we'll build up the muscles around them-excuse me it's still painful but boy m I happy to have strong muscles there, they don't stop the pain tho, Oh ostioperosis too so I'm 2 inches shorter walking like I have a hump on my back-boy do I look good. Le so I swell just for the fun of it, a not so good valve in my heart just because, I exercise but very little movement or strength in my arms and pain in my shoulders all the time bone rubbing on bone, Of course my chronic Diarhhea and chronic Bladder infections which actually hurt no and my intestine growing up my one side moving my liver pushing it into my ribs and the top of my ribs closing in to wherever and extreme arthritis and some more things all from when all of this started and of course my mutilated unboobs, one was dug so deep it's so concave it ridiculous. so believe it or not I do understand, I feel like this tiny little devil pill did a lot, plus all 2 yrs of chemo--so for sure chemo brain and I'm not anything like I used to be at all, haha my fingernails just fall out as do my teeth and I don't have a fortune to fix my teeth they want 8,000.00 $ after ins. Oh let me go in my pocket. My teeth bother me the most I can cover the rest. And I blame all of this on BC and that devil pill, but I have no choice at this time maybe in a couple of yrs--they'll be a pil that can undo all this chit. yea right--but it all sucks I do know that. I'm not saying this for sympathy, cuz I've gotten used to it--but life isn't fair, never has been, never will be. Please Lily u must find peace within u'r self--u are what u are inside, not outside anyway.
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Good Morning,
I am sending good wishes for a peaceful day to all.
Teka, I hope yesterday was an okay day. Anniversaries of BC must be a mixed bag of thoughts.
Lily, you are faced with serious choices. Hopefully, someone here will be able to provide some help through shared experiences. Keep posting. We care about you.
Lily, were you the one who said she was going to a BC suport group when I said I was going to my first meeting? If you were, how did it go? My meeting was very small but the ladies were welcoming. I am going to go for the third time tomorrow night. My BC.org groups are more comforting because two weeks between meetings is too long for me at this point.
Jazzy, I hope you are storing up lots of rest. It sounds like your visit to the nutritionist was interesting. I have been putting off seeing one, but I think I need the guidance. Maybe more than anything I need help planning healthy meals that I enjoy. My latest "healthy meal" is Greek yogurt with raspberries or blueberries with 1 tablespoon of honey drizzled over it. It has 20 grams of protein and I actually view it as a treat. I really hope it is healthy.
kathec, thinking of you as you get tests this week ... hoping for good results.
Hi dutchiris ... what are you up to this week?
Blondie, DQ ... yum ... ice cream with hot fudge is my fav there.
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Paula and Cami, you both posted while I was typing.
Paula, great news about the twins. It sounds like Declan is a go-getter.
Cami, wishing you a caller who makes you laugh ... so you can share the story so we can all laugh.
Hi, to all those who posted while I have written this post which was broken up by showering and soft boil egging ... must get to rads.
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.....i just wanted to thank you all for remembering me today. and i am scared. but all i have to do is get myself there, and J.T. that is my man, is driving me there. i almost never ask him, i just dont like to saturate him with all of this. but he has been great this week, and has tried extra hard this week to distract me from the lonely thoughts, and seriously made me laugh out loud several times.
so i am going to take an anti anxiety pill and a shower, and imagine you all trooping into the room with me. and really, i could.not.do this without the support and companionship and understanding i have found here. so if you are reading this, that means you!
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kath am in your pocket with you and big hugs too!!!
Teka congrats on the anniversary
Jazzy so happy that you are taking care of yourself......
Cammie {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}
Me no healthy eating.....it is snowing here supposedly 6 - 12 inches...throat is killing me still...and of course I have to go out tomorrow and it will be really cold so who knows about whether I will go to chemo or put it off another day....am staying in today....one of the twins went to my daughters house, yay, the annoying one....
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My Saturday--oh well I didn't feel a thing
Heres one.