The Hermit Club
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I saw this and it made me think of all the people on this thread going through tough times right now, which is many of you: Mags, Bippy, Lili, Concerned, Monis, Maiden, Daisy, Cami, Blondie, Shelley, and perhaps more of you that may be struggling with something too.
Thanks to many others here who share their words of wisdom in time of need.
Here is a big end of the day virtual hug to all of you.
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OMG I've missed so much--I irst want to thank Chevy for delivering my message--she's got this great big mouth and forget to tell u I was having problems (big ones and still am ) with my puter--trying to get it all worked out.
Welcome to anyone new This is a great site to unwind on and Concerned--I especially thought u'r wife is very lucky and u will both be doing better soon, u'll see.
Shelly I do think a lump. hurts more than a full blown deboobing--the one diference is under arms are always numb, so when u put deordorant on u do have to watch to make sure u get it on.
And I do hope u get all good results,Blondie, Blondie, Blondie--OMG--Thanks Ducky for keeping us in the loop, poor thing---but in her situation it does sound like she's doing the best thing. (((HUGS)))
Teka I love u'r good morning pics--they are always so fun and JAZZY u always have such pretty photos to share.
Mags I'm sorry all the chit u'r having, but it was so nice to take u'r cousin out and she does look lovely
Again Thanks so much Chevy or the one favor I asked to tell everyone about my puter, again u did what was expected--thinking o u'r pole dancing instead of me.
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Thanks Jazzy
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Got woke up in the middle of the night to an accident on my street. Heard something before I heard a fire truck on my street. Might go out a bit later and see if I can find where it happened. It was on the local news here but they didn't show a good view of the accident scene so I can pinpoint exactly where it happened. Didn't get up when I heard the fire truck.
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Mommy- I hope everyone is okay in the neighborhood this morning.
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Mom2~! Can you google your local news, with the address, and look for accidents? We heard a loud crash one time, and looked out, and 1/2 a block down, saw this car up on it's side, on the lawn of our neighbor! Man, it looked bad! I called the Police, and when they came to help the gal out, you could hear all the beer bottles falling out of the car.
She was so drunk, it didn't even hurt her.... but they took her in anyway, and we watched as they pulled the car back up on it's wheels.... Just scary!
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Good Morning Herms----
Mo I hope u found out what happened, I hate to hear about accidents, u can't help being concerned.
Well how is everyone feeling this morning? I sure hope better. The weather here is supposed to be on the warm side today---I went out yesterday and altho it was 30, it felt like 0 to me (Yes Chevy I do go out)--So I hope it feels better today. Cuz I'm going out again, Yep they are letting me loose 2 days in a row. Has anyone noticed it's light later all of a sudden---it's nice.
Joey and I were watching a program and both of us fell asleep early, but I'm going back to sleep soon, we're going out later.
We still haven't heard much about my brother, I don't know why he's so quiet about these types o things really-my sister and I are word or word types, like I said before it doesn't look good to us. All we can do is wait and my other brother is still fighting sepsis, which is quite difficult.
OK just checking in and praying for u gals, yes I'm glad or anyone who is doing well, but u can always use prayers and Blondie I hope u'r not in pain, see when Chevy fell even tho she broke her hip her body was used to being twisted because she could work a pole so well, but u have no experience with all that type of movement.
Everyone have a decent day.
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Cami- good morning. Doing okay this way. It is warming up here this weekend and highs up to the 50s today after snow and cold earlier this week. I hope you enjoy your day out and about. And I gladly accept your prayers too!
I have been doing some end of the day walks since my last contract wrapped up, and have noticed it is now dark here at 5:30 vs. 5 p.m. I always look forward to day light savings time change in the spring, as we get an hour of light back in the evening. Believe it or not, that is only about 45 days from now (first weekend in March).
I noticed a few of the trees here are starting to bud out, the fruit trees here bloom in late February believe it or not. We have a long unfolding of spring here, the early things begin next month and the last of it finishes in May.
Be safe out there Cami. Is Joey off from school on Monday?
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Teka- minus 15 to 17? Good lord!
I am watching Gravity (again) on HBO this morning as I do things around the house. Your boyfriend just got lost in space. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to go find him.....
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Teka- me too, I love the first half hour and then I move on.
Now I am watching Contact, one of my favorite movies ever. Much of it filmed her at the Big Array down south, which I have never been to yet. On my bucket list!
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Hey Teka,
My parents just spent their 50th anniversary at Mirror Lake Inn. It was 26 below with wind chill 48 below. They had a wonderful time. My mom grew up there - her father was the butcher at Shea's Market. I miss spending time there, cross-country skiing, etc.
I am 2 1/2 years out from diagnosis. Working full time, but still spending lots of time hermiting. I'm glad it's January so I can do that and it's normal.
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After watching the local news coverage of the accident scene I figured out that the accident happened right down the street. Sure enough it was in the paper this morning and it was right where I thought it was. Sadly, the driver was killed, his passenger survived and is in a hospital. The police are investigating and suspect speed was a factor. Since I moved to my street we have had about a dozen accidents here. This is the first that had a death resulting.
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Man, I was afraid of that.... I'm sorry....
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Mommy- sorry to hear that news about the accident on the street. I hope the person in the hospital recovers. We had a lot of accidents on my street growing up, the lovely CT roads are often a place people speed.
Stay safe.
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sorry to hear about the accident. How sad.
Well, I managed to go out in public for the first time since surgery on Monday. I decided to go to target and look for a comfortable bra to sleep in and some protein bars. I felt very discouraged because I was way over stimulated with the lights and sounds. I felt unbalanced & unsteady on my feet and anxious. I grabbed what I needed and got out as fast as I could. I cried once I got to the car because I felt like a total failure and everyone else is just carrying on as usual. Why can't that be me? I am trying very hard to avoid agoraphobia because I have had it before. I felt mentally drained before surgery but at least I didn't feel physically drained too. I guess I should be proud that I actually went. Now I am home on the couch with my dog and trying to figure out how I'm going to get through this . Feeling sorry for myself. Hope you all had a better day.
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Shelley- I am sorry your first time out since the surgery was so difficult.
I might suggest if you need some comfortable bras, you might find them on line more easily and have them shipped. My doctors did not want me wearing any under wire bras for a long time after surgery and rads, so I found some soft sided bras at Kohls on line. The only stores I went to for months after my surgeries in 2012 were to get groceries and pick up meds.
With time, going out in public again gets easier, but everything is hard while you are in treatment.
And the feeling of everybody living their lives when you can't is a tough feeling to deal with. You will envy others lives for being normal when yours is not. It was a trial and error to figure things out that work for you or that bother you as you go through treatment. Your life goes on hold for awhile, but it will go back to normal after this (I promise!)
Keep life simple and send your husband out or friends to pick things up for you if it is too much to do the stores. Don't put pressure on yourself to try to do what you have been doing when life was humming along. It's okay to just reduce things to their most simplest terms- eating, sleeping, medical apts, etc. It is what we all did, and what many are still doing here.
Hugs sister, and hoping your day tomorrow is better.
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Onco- you are sweet. I will have pictures to post soon, I promised. Renovation starting again on Monday (bring on the new flooring!)
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A peaceful picture for all those who have had a tough day.
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Thank you both for your kind words.
Onco, yes this is my dog Bean a Boston Terrier. I have two other dogs but he and I are very close. He is getting up in age and that also scares and depresses me. Everyone (including myself) pressures me to go out and not fall back into the agorohobia. And then when it doesn't go the way I hoped I just get even more discouraged. I own a business with my mother and am having difficulty going into work. She is there running it by herself and that makes me feel guilty. I like coming here and talking to you all because you have been in my shoes. But I also get very frightened by the sad stories, the Stage 4 group seems so much larger and more active than the other groups. I feel like this killing me is inevitable.
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Shelley- it seems like you are getting a lot of pressure from your family and friends to be or do things that are not helpful to you at this time. One of the harder things to negotiate during treatment is other people's emotions, expectations, etc. Perhaps you just need to let everyone know that going out often is not what is helpful to you right now. It is okay to let people know what works for you or not. They are not going through cancer treatment, you are. It is not something we should have to do or even want to do. I had to get pretty truthful with a few people who were not helpful during my treatment process. If you want to go out, then do it on your own terms.
I work for myself and have my own business so I know the challenges of working through treatment and keeping thing goings. I am a freelancer so I don't have business partners, employees, etc. but understand the need to keep working to make money and keep a business going.
When I was diagnosed, I was between contracts with my clients, but was told by my doctors that I would be able to work through treatment and they suggested working PT until I was done with rads. I took a new contract about 2 weeks after my lumpectomy surgery, and worked PT for a number of months for one client, including through radiation treatment. I found continuing to work helped me to keep things going, have an income, etc. but PT so I could get through the rest. It was not easy, but I got through it.
Can you work out with your mother a PT work schedule until you get through the rest of your treatment? Can she hire someone to help PT until you are back on your feet? Her being overworked and you feeling guilty won't help. There is some info on this site about working when you are self employed, what to share or not with customers, clients, etc.
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Shelley,i remember that so well, its so isolating, feeling different and odd in a crowd, when the rest of the world trundles on the same.....you got out really early. People just do not understand, I went out to a meeting about a month after surgery, I was shaking inside and petrified. I stayed over an hour and a half but one person turned up just as I was getting ready to leave, as I was way beyond my emotional tolerance by then, and I was forever accused of being unwelcoming to that person even by people i thought were friends and knew it was my first social trip ou
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Teka is so right with the lovely post about people just being present. It is really hard for most people to do. We need more than anything else that people just care.
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Shelley....everyone is different....I have 6 children.......18 grandchildren, and now 4 3/4 great grandchidren.......
BC came as a shockt o me......after a heart attack in 2007, I thought that was going to be my demise, and had dodged the BC bullet...........was so wrong.........
I had a surgeon who was beyond marvelous, and MO who gave me the confidence I needed, and an RO who assured me "your gonna get through this"..........my team of RO Techs were the greatest and most loving people I had ever met.......even my main Tech "Mark"......young, handsome, and the bluest eyes I had ever seen...........
Funny story.....on my first day my son took me....when "Mark" walked out and said "Genevieve", I said to my son...."Oh no, I did not expect a man".......my son said "Mom he might just be taking you to the back, calm down".........
NOT...........he was my "main man".......there were 2 other ladies in the back too..........with my pink stripped robe on I looked at him and hoped he was going to exit the room............
NOT.........he said "ok, Genevieve remove your robe, and lay down on the table".....................I hesitated and said the only thing that came into my head, and out of my mouth.............
OK honey......................".If you can handle it..........so can I.."................it broke the ice, and we all had a good laugh........
My oldest son drove me 3 days a week to treatments (38 of them), and my youngest daughter took me the other 2 days............I was quite capable of driving, but the said "No we will be here with you through it all"...........
They were, but now it has changed.......so I turned to the ladies here, and found what I needed on a bad day............this place, these women, on many threads will get you through this............
I had no husband for the past 23 years......he died of Pancreatic cancer at 57........I was 56..........so I had no one to help me through the hard times, and I'm not sure he could have......
You will get through this.....but you must keep coming here.......I could suggest Bonfire of the Goddesses thread............and for a ot of laughs........"STFU" thread.............great ladies..........and so funny.........
Give it time.........you can do this.........Remember........."you have cancer, "cancer does not have you"............hugs and prayers.......
By the way I hve a daugher Michele............
Oh and ladiees.........Stella had 3 seizures through the night llast night.........she is in the Vets now, for a couple days..........my daughter and family are devastated............she will go on Phenobarb now.....
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Ducky- I hope Stella pulls through. She is a real cutie, and am sure you all love her to pieces.
Thanks for sharing your story with all of us. I knew some things, perhaps not everything and you are one tough lady!
No snowshoeing today, I heard the crest snow melted from the storm this week so I am home working on the final touches for the bedrooms to move out a few more things. I have to take my home office set up apart today (Printer, wireless router, modem, etc.) and took some time to write things down so I can put it back together correctly. Last time I did it, I was not successful in getting it working again, but have a company who can come in to help should I need it.
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thank you for your encouragement
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Concerned- I hope your wife's surgery goes well tomorrow, and that she is home soon and recovers well from everything.
I hope you are taking care of yourself too as best you can.
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