The Hermit Club

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  • orknitter
    orknitter Member Posts: 65

    BB, that's funny! I hadn't thought of that when I signed up. You would think I would since I am "in the medical field" and know these abbreviations. Ah well, guess my brain was on other things that day.

    Jazz, love all the moon photos. We kept waiting to see it when someone called from a block away saying how awesome it is. We had to jump in the car and drive up a hill. But it was well worth it.

    Everyone else, thanks for the welcome. It's nice to be part of the group.

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,848

    Jazzy- you know it about an upcoming essay. Hubby knows my current professor and says she is a bit odd!


  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,987

    Mommy- most professors are a bit odd! Academia attracts the quirky. It is something I love about going to school, but can also be annoying. There is also the absent minded professor thing too. Some are better at organizing and helping students know what to expect. Did you get silabus for the semester?

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,848

    Yep, but we are about a week behind. Probably won't see the assignment put up til at least tonight or tomorrow, at the latest. I checked the syllabus and she has us reading the rest of the book of Woolf's works this week. So I might do that in a bit, but you never know when she is going to throw in a curve ball!

  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 1,748

    Tomorrow is the start of October a month I just dread, all the bloody pink stuff and breast cáncer being talked about everywhere often by people who have no clue! There is even a woman in the UK who constantly appears on TV as she had preventative mastectomies and reconstruction..and its reported as "her breast cáncer nightmare" - she never bloody had it !!!!!! She was so stupid she even said "I never realised it would be so difficult to breastfeed after reconstrcution".......DUH She has money, a job, loving husband, two children and she got reconstruction when she never even had cáncer............ I seriously kid you not...............I could throw the TV out of the window when she is on, drives me M A D ..........

    I have ben absent here for a while but still think about you..........I cannot even tell if I am in a bad place or a non place or what............I am still off pills, Onc has put me on tamoxifen but I don´t want to take it........I have had 3.5 years of feeling messed with, not reconstructed, cannot move on properly til I am, so I feel sooo resistant to starting another lot of pills with a high risk they will also make me feel like **** and then I feel guilty as people who do cáncer a lot more elegantly than me die and here I am moany minnie still here.......

  • blondiex46
    blondiex46 Member Posts: 2,726

    Me too Lily

    Jazzy u r the best.

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,987

    Lilly- I hate Pinktober or "puketober" as some ladies here call it. I think raising awareness of the importance of mammograms/early detection, self exams and charities that actually help women through treatment are the most valuable. Too much use of the pink ribbon by many to market whatever they need to sell. And this year, there is a stupid thing going around on Facebook about going bra-less on October 13th in honor of breast cancer awareness month. Hello, how does that help anything? Total insensitive to women whom have lost their breasts to this disease.

    Have you tried the Tamoxifen and had SEs or just worried you might not do well? The non-hormone drugs are not easy, no doubt about that. First six months for me on the AIs were really rough, got better with time when my body adjusted. I still have days where I as super achey and feel like $*&% and refer to those as my "arimidex days." I don't talk about it much to friends, because of course, everyone things I am "done with it" now.

    I hope your new place feels more settled now and that maybe with time, you will meet more people and make some friends where you live. We get by with a little help from our friends. I expect maybe it is cooling down there now, starting to here too. I don't do as well with the heat anymore either. And I think everyone here is doing the best they can every day with whatever they have going on. We all have different ways of sharing and getting support. There is no right or wrong way through this. I hope things improve for you my friend.

    I heard the Dr. Weiss who I think is the founder of this web page is going to be on The Today Show tomorrow. I hope to see her before I have to leave for the airport. I am so grateful for this web page that helps so many women in so many ways.

    Anybody hear the latest news about calcium supplements not helping bones when you are older and even that they can cause problems? Funny how we are always getting lectured about doing things for our health that just turn out to be flat wrong.


  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,848

    My city has a cross that is a landmark here, when you see it you know you are here. They light up according to the Catholic church's liturgical calendar. They also light it up for holidays or special days. Today they will light it pink for the start of BC Awareness Month. They do this only for one day and then it goes back to whatever color it was before today.

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,987

    Mommy- the church sounds like they do their recogniton mindfully. Helps those in the community to remember women with this disease.

  • m0mmyof3
    m0mmyof3 Member Posts: 9,848

    Yes they do.

  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 1,748

    tamoxifen is known to NOT work for certain lobular cancer cells but of course no tests to say who it is.......i was given two minutes to decide by an Onc who says there is no real difference between ductal and lobular........I think I would rather take anastrozole and hope its third time lucky.......wish I could choose between

    Oncs

    Jazzy you rock! No pun intended x

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,987

    Greetings from Albany. We are wrapping up our trip to upstate NY and the family wedding. Everything went well, except it was a rainy day for the nuptials. Good family time here this weekend and some good foliage viewing too. I feel good and filled up with family time this weekend! We fly out in the morning to head home.

    Hoping everyone else is doing okay and enjoying the first few days of October.

  • KbellaK
    KbellaK Member Posts: 6

    Oh, I'm so glad there are still people posting on this thread! I've been feeling so guilty about how isolated I've made myself. I know it worries my husband so I've been trying to rally and get out and do things but it's sooooo hard sometimes. I'm still only working part-time but that will be coming to an end in a couple of weeks and I'll be back to full-time. Just going grocery shopping or running errands can be daunting.

    I started going to a support group but have even stopped going to that. And no one from the group has tried to reach out to me. I only went about 10 times but you'd think they'd shoot me an e-mail or something. They meet at noon on Tuesdays so I won't be able to go once I'm back full-time anyway and I can't find any other groups other than one that meets the first Monday of the month. I'm surprised there are no weekly meetings that meet in the evening for those of us who work. I live near a large city and those are the only 2 support groups I can find. You'd think with how prevalent this disease is, there would be more support out there...

    Thank you for letting me vent a little.

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,987

    Hi Kbella- welcome to our thread. I think the hermit thing is a place we live in for a long time. It took me several years to work out of it, and will tell you that I still am not as social as I used to be. You are still within the first year of going through treatment and it just takes a long time to feel better from everything too. Just working, keeping up around home, paying bills, etc. is all we have energy for. You may find as you feel better, you may add more back to your life and want to spend time around others. You may also find there are people you don't enjoy being around any more (too much drama, petty BS, etc.)

    Sorry the support groups have not been better for you. I have never tried any of them in my city, as I kept my dx private for professional reasons (self employed). I think some others here have tried them at least for awhile. Most everyone seems to have found BCO a readily available support system any time you need it. The good thing about this place is there are always people here when you need to talk. I personally think it is far better than sitting in a group of strangers, although it is nice to be able to meet others in person who have gone through the same thing.

    Several ladies on these threads have developed personal friendships/support with one another as they discover they live in the same area. There are women who meet up to do things each year too. Perhaps that may be a way to find more in person connection in your location? I met someone from my city for the first time this year. We met for the first time in August and hope to see each other again before the end of 2015.

    We hope you like it here. This is a quieter thread these days but has some nice folks. Vent any time you need to!

  • KbellaK
    KbellaK Member Posts: 6

    Thanks, Jazzygirl! I'll keep working on myself and hopefully will find the energy and the will to get back out into the world. I wan't expecting this to be one of the "side-effects" of my treatment. I thought I would go into Warrior mode and start training for marathons, LOL. Maybe next year...

  • magdalene51
    magdalene51 Member Posts: 2,062
    K, I am almost a year out from my last chemo, 6 months from last rads, and still a hermit. I'm retired, so I can get away with doing almost nothing, and ashamed that that's exactly what I do. No motivation, no ambition, no passion, no energy, most of the time I don't even feel anything. I can laugh at funny things, I can do things with my hubby, I even go to church - but I don't really feel anything. Not sad, not happy. Just waiting. Waiting for what? For the next shoe to drop? Who knows.
  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,987

    Ah Mags, but you did that road trip to the casino!

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,987

    Balloons everywhere this morning. This one came right over my house, so close I felt I could touch the basket. Never seen one that close to the house, but snapped this photo just to the south as it was trying to land.

    When you are done hermit-ting my friends, the balloon festival beckons you. Mags, I know you have roots here and want to come back.....

    image

  • magdalene51
    magdalene51 Member Posts: 2,062

    Jazzy, you truly have the gift of encouragement. Yes, I took that casino trip, and had a good time. I just can't do that all the time.

    I don't really have roots in Albuquerque (though I can spell it!), I spent a semester at UNM before I decided college wasn't my cup of tea and took off for brighter lights (which weren't). My brother in law (who died in 2000) was from there. Other than that, I've driven through there a few times. It was southern New Mexico, Las Cruces, where I spent some years after my dad retired from the Navy, and where I graduated high school. I've been back 3 times since then, once in the 80's, once in the 90's, and once in 2008 for my 40th class reunion.

    My friend Retha and her family used to go to the balloon festival. I've never seen it. But the century is young.

    Thank you for thinking of me, and for your encouragement.

  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 1,748

    I am trying to get on with life but its not easy, I seriously think the key is to be kind to ourselves......I know I am not. I am so hermitty about how I feel ref cancer at the moment I rarely post on BCorg.......since puketober began i am having more panic attacks about death and HATE I cannot escape from bloody cáncer especially when I am meant to be relaxing like when watching TV.....I still choose not to tell many people but it has its downside too........I do think of everyone on here often and check in and read from time to time.......but I don´t feel like I have anything to offer, I feel on the scrap heap, unemployed for 18 months now, no hope of a job, money way beyond tight after a huge bill on my car, which is 11 years old........etc............but I do enjoy more days than I did before and I am ensuring I do one exercise class a week that I enjoy

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,987

    Mags- you are welcome. I always notice when one of the sisters is able to do something here that is a part of returning to some sort of normalcy. A sign you are recovering. I thought your trip to the casino (although it wore you out) was a good step for you.

    And yes, I meant you had some roots here in the state remembering the southern NM conversations. The balloons will be here again next year and every year! This year's balloon fiesta ends tomorrow. They were finally able to do a glow last night.

    Here is a photo for you!

    image


  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,987

    Lilly- good to see you here and agree with you, the path to recovery and healing is to be very kind to yourself. We all tend to blame ourselves for not being able to do what we used to, and unfortunately, have others around us expecting we will be the same. It is hard for people to understand the physical and emotional turmoil we go through with this. We are not the same people we once were. I try to ask myself with everything I do now, is this good for my health? Does this support a state of wellness and peace?

    Wishing you better days sister. Hoping you can find one or two friends that you can spend time with that can be present with all this. We get by with a little help from our friends.

  • dwill
    dwill Member Posts: 248

    Hi all! Been away for sometime. Trying to hermatize myself from the world. The last weeks have been challenging. Find myself lurking on these boards for validation of who I am. Clinical depressions has had a grip on me. I often visit the boards to stay connected but doing so under covered. Although this have been a better year less side effects on aromasin; I still get into the dumps knowing I am less visible to the world. Computers acting up so just wanted to drop in and say Hello. Love you and miss you all

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,987

    Dwill- maybe small outing for coffee with a friend might be okay?

  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 1,748

    DWill - hi......x

  • blondiex46
    blondiex46 Member Posts: 2,726

    Dw lurk all u want I think we all have done it

  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 1,748

    I lurk too as I am bored with how I feel in myself when i am being honest.....had really horrible day today, so HATE puketober sick of never getting any escape from photos of "brave breastless women" showing scars neater than I have ever seen anywhere else, bc everywhere and mutilated bodies in photos in the guise of something else.........God I am soooo boring

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,987

    Lily- this month is a hard one with all the photos and other pressures around with respect to bc. Media always socializes the perfect looking woman, with or without her breasts. Puts a lot of pressure on women who have had less than ideal outcomes with their surgeries. Hugs sister and here is to getting into November soon. Few short weeks away, and the media shift will go to retail holiday consumption (ugh) here in America.

  • magdalene51
    magdalene51 Member Posts: 2,062

    Lily, this is the picture I posted on Facebook, publicly, in honor of no bra day. Got some very interesting comments.

    image

    Nasty, isn't it? I don't need any more breast cancer awareness, thank you.

    P.S. If this is too awful, I will take it down.

  • jazzygirl
    jazzygirl Member Posts: 11,987

    Mags- god bless you and it does not scare me off. I think you gave some folks a very good realty check.