The Hermit Club
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Hi shambles--good choice for a name for all of us.--Welcom--sorry about u being here bu since u r be comfy with us--we all have had or have that feeling of leave me alone and I'm still pretty much there too. I don't know if this happens to alot of people but we admit it so I think that's some of a good thing. Tell us about u'r self--u live across the pond I love saying that.
Skittle u have to find something to fix u'r thumb. Not having a working thumb is horrible--One time I didn't and I couldn't even pull up my underwear---Hmmm that's why animals don't waer underwear I guess. That sounded stupid, but I know how important it is.
Markat u HOME tomorrow --Good ty relaxing--don't overdue my famous expression---U've had a busy couple of weeks thrown at u so this is good.
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Thanks camillegal, well I live on the south coast of england, eastbourne. Been in scotland for 3 months where my partner lived (met him on the net, he's moved down here now with me) I'm finding it very difficult to adjust as iv lived alone for 7 yrs and went thro the diagnosis process alone surgery etc. Plz bare with me I'm still getting used to this frikin phone x
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Shambles I can barely type so don't worry about it. Wow u met someone on=lin and u'r together that's amazing. But I do kinda know what u mean cuz I lived alone for all my chit and now I live with my Dgt and her husband and my favorite person my grandson. So I see the difference. When I was alone I was better ecause I was alone and din't have to deal with talking, now they are so used to me I just stay in my room, but u'r situation is different u have to talk somewhat LOL This is a crummy time tho--U think when u get thru alot u should feel fine and u don't always feel like u think, there's a lot of hangovers from everything --I think-- so this is the place u can rant, rave, make fun of people--anything u want and someone will be holding u up--in this internet world.
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Thankyou again camillegal, its nice to know someone's here.. And the others who replied to me, kind of didn't expect it. I'm not on facebook or twitter so I'm kind of a net virgin? Iv a lot of bad head things going on atm and try to explain to the other half but he isn't in my head if u know what I mean. To cut a long story short I came off of tamoxifen, didn't attend my last mammo or onci appt and basically dismissed everything cancer related. Now I'm thinking that was stupid.
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Shambles I'm really not here to judge whatever u do--but maybe that was all to much at he same time, cuz now u have some fear u'r not following the plan--Hey no one knows for sure what plan works but maybe u want o get back on board. I know that feeling of "I hate all Drs, and tests and meds" sounds like me, but so far I'm trying I don't know if anything is helping or not. I have no boobs so no mammos for me, or I know I'd miss going too. But u kind of know u'll end up going sooner or later, is this u'r choice or do u feel like cuz u'r in a new relationship u don't want to go thru this stuff. I can understand that.
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No I went thro my surgeries and radio alone then kind of gave up. I had a lumpectomy and a second cos my margins weren't clear and what should have been five weeks of radio but I tossed that off after 4. I know that was mad and stupid but iv suffered from depression for twelve years and I just couldn't handle cancer. I lost a third of my breast and it makes me self concious every day. I know m lucky but our medical services here in the uk are so different to u guys, we don't have options for masectomys we get what we are told.
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Shambles I know that about the UK, but u've also had depression for a long time and I'm sure u'r on meds for tht. Did they up the meds while u were going thru this, sometimes they do that when problems arise or did they think they were the right level. U might have needed an additive to u meds---I don't know how hard it is for u to get meds there but I do know u'r medical things are different but with the same results. A friend of mine that I medt on line lives in England and she's been on Tamox for 2 yrs =now and I know she suffered alot in her bones with bouts od depression on top of that so she dis get help, but I don't think it was an easier to get than here. Wow u've got a lot going on and one big thing is u'r depression I'm sure--Is there a way to either change what u are on or a higher dose to help u?
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Oh god I hope iv not offended anyone. Apologies if have
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Why would u think u've offended anyone, there was nothing said that was offensive really ==u'r fine.
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I'm on the highest dose of anti d's but kind of miss some when I forget? Apparently that shouldn matter cos they build up in ur system? And no that's all the meds I take citalopram
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Dawn I just think u should give u'r self some time to really think things thru, so u can never feel like u made the wrong indecisions, U want u'r mind to be clear on that---Actually I don't know if I made all the right decisions, but I feel for me I did and that's all I can do.
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Shambles you didn't say anything offensive! My mom did the same thing. I think she took Tamoxifen for 2 days then threw her rx out. Her doc(same as mine) threatened to fire her as a patient if she kept missing radiation. You just have to move forward and not think about the past. If you decide to start taking the meds, then so be it. If not, then only you can decide that. Same with getting your mammo. It seems like not getting it is causing you despair, so wouldn't it be nice to just know. I've said these same things to my mother and she brushes me off. I think you'd feel better by knowing one way or the other.
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Hey markat. I'm new so don't know what's offensive or not but I do try to be polite .. Thankyou and yes iv heard of ppl shying away but never actually met any. If mention it I get called mental. Well I know that ffs! Lol. Camille, thankyou
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Shambles... Welcome and be at peace here. No one judges fellow hermits. It's safe. We're all in various stages of shambles and just share our day to day. I'd offer uploading pic advice, but I'm clueless with blackberries. I copy and paste from net. sorry. As for partner understanding, depending on personality, try comparing it to post traumatic stress. You have been in battle and are a scarred veteran. If he can truly understand you have been wounded in war, he might get it. Cancer is an enemy that doesn't announce itself with any horrific noise, though. And there are no volunteers. It attacks the innocent. It's stealthy and sinister. And we aren't all armed equally to fight it. When you're ready to get out of shell shock, we will each be here to hold you up and be with you on that part of your journey.
camille... I had to laugh. Droopy drawers came to mind. Hadn't thought of that phrase in years. Yeah... thumbs are more than I thought. sigh
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If any of you keep up with Teka through pm or email, please let her know she's loved. thanks
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Teka enjoy your special day!!
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Teka LOL LOL LOL Meat hahahaha u always make me laugh.
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Teka .. congrats on this milestone.... Have a toast to many more years.
Shambles ... it is a journey ... good and bad days ... I do better with the known and obsess over the unknown ... but to each her own. I have felt PO'd about the whole thing the last couple of weeks. Coupled with some bad news from a couple of people I know ... it has made me lose some of my sense of humour. The ladies around here pick me up, accept my bad news and best of all make me laugh! Don't appoligize for anything you say about yourself or your journey here. We are an accepting bunch ... our only rule here has been to play nice with others ... I know you are new but there are some other threads where a few don't. Just know it is safe on here.
Cami, FLwarrior, Markat, thanks for the good thoughts. Off to gyn surgery follow-up today... wow I lead an exciting life these days.
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Jane u go to more follow ups than a rodeo rider--what ever that means.I hope it's all good. Isn't anyone hating going to Drs.? I don't know why I feel this way lately--I have to go to 2 tomorrow and I dread every minute of it--I'm so tired of them and u know I tell them and I wonder why they don't like me. Oh well so what else is new? It's all crap and it desn't want to leave u alone---Again sorry I hate leaving home and having to put on a hppy face, well I don't put make-up on for them so I have to at least act happy hahaha.
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Teka-- congratulations on 3 years! Milestone definitely to be celebrated.
bgirl--hope your follow-up went well and you feel better. Surgery is never fun. (Had a student miss school, and on returning she announced she'd had surgery. Turns out she was conked on the head by a brother-tossed tv remote, and had to have two whole stitches...)
Camille--I'm right there with you with the dr opinion. Just flat tired mostly. I guess we all treasure our days away from it all. Hope you get a good report.
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Thanks skittle makes me feel better.
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Bgirl, hope the appt went well! Continued good thoughts your way!
Camille, I hate the doc too. I'm just currently on my 3 month reprieve. Well, except to get my meds.
Skittle, poor kid! Not sure if a whole day off was needed but probably with the nature of the attack. Hope you're enjoying your day off!
I've finally gotten all the christmas stuff down. Darn dog chewed up DD1's new headbands from Justice (not cheap). So we've been dealing with dramatic outburst all day. Do girls suddenly morph into drama queens when they turn 9?
Seriously Skittle, I don't know how you deal with 30 of these little humans every day
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Oh Markat girls used to start around 11 at least, but times have changed---I remember always wanting just girls and I had 2---teen girls are horrible--Teen boys don't seem to have all that drama inside of them, plus the mood thing like girls--since I only had girls I could be wrong, but I'm not LOL Oh markat I'm on 3 months with my Onc now too, but now I have all these other Drs. involved with me--they started it, I didn't these stupid SE's are all over the place .
The wind chill her is -10 below---real winter here.
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Hi Shambles-welcome to the group. This is a great thread to share safely. I wanted to find a place to talk to people going through bc since I am going through a lot of this alone too. Told a core group of people where I live and a few folks in my home town area, but my journey is a very private one. And as a result, it is not an easy one. You can be yourself here and share you fears, sorrows, good days and not so good days. You will not meet a finer group of women anywhere than the Hermits!
Rather than beat yourself up, be kind to yourself and know you (and everyone else here) is doing the best that they can to work through their medical care. It sounds like it all got to be too much for you. We are here for you as you try to maybe regroup around this whole thing?
Markat and FL Warrior- work was a wasted effort today. My team had to be in this weekend so they were all tired and mopey and wanted to be off for MLK day. I was tired today too (think it is residual from the internal rad the week before last) and left after lunch. Hope the rest of the worker bees today are done with this monday!
And Skittle, I had the same conversation with a guy I used to see back in my late 30s when I had my first mammo and they found calcifications, so I was going for repeated mammos followed by a surgical biopsy. I remember how much the mammos hurt then as I had fibrocystic breasts (less so now in my 50s) and he was like "so what is the big deal?" I made the same analogy about testicles squished between something and he went white. Men act like they are dying when they have a head cold, what would they do if they were us? LOL!
Tomorrow is a new day fellow hermits.
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Markat... so sorry for your drama. Can the headbands be saved? Maybe shorten them into ponytail holders... or add a bow on the nibbled part? My dd's are 3 years apart, so they were lots of fun together. And I do love my munchkins. (28 per class x 3) They are constant drama and comedy and tragedy all on a hair trigger. You never know what will set them off. And, yes, drama at 9 comes with the territory. I laid down the "law" of once is asking, twice is reminding, three times is nagging and the answer is no. It worked for years and cut way down on drama... (It works at school, too.)
Camille... brrrr! I love seeing snow, but not the super cold.
Jazzy... sorry work was a waste. I felt luxuriously lazy staying put, watching parts of the swearing in, and procrastinating grading papers.
Shambles... let us know if we can help at all... hugs your way...
All... take care. May Tuesday be gentle to us all.
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I hope tomorrpw is good...So far the hospital screwed up my 1 app't and made it at another hospital. I'm getting a scan at one and then they make an app't at another hospital not even an hr. later----that's 1/2 away. Good thing they called. Now I have to go to the scan, then I think I'll go into one of the Drs. and get this straighten out instead of phoning.--I'll be right there so I might as well.
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6 wk post surgery was good. Pathology good ... don't have to go back to gyn for a year, unless I have problems. This is my only Dr's apt this month ... yeah! ... and then 2 months off before I see my MO again. So excited!
Cami hope apts go well.
Markat "tween" starts early these days. I have 3 girls 18,21,23 now and we all survived.
Hoping now I am off my restrictions for lifting/exercising I will be able to get back into the swing of things and feel better.
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Jane all good news--and not seeing a Dr. for a while I love it. So will u.
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Oh Teka whenever u post I go get a snack cuz it's like reading a novel---I read War and Peace in less time than I read u'r posts. Wow u do have so much to say and I don't want to miss a word.
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Shambles--I hope u come on and read all the support u'll get from us any time u want. And whatever decisions u make or made don't worry U know why u've made them and be happy with them.
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