The Hermit Club
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Markat we're all so happy to hear from u and most of us know the painful time u are having, my dad was still living in their condo so it took 1 year to do my moms belongings it's very hard and my sister and I decided we would send them to distant family in Italy (her clothes) cuz we did not want to see nyone wearing them in our area--I guess that was silly cuz my brothers said u 2 are crazy but it's all hard to do and it was a year later. So this is another difficult time and my heart is with u and u'r family.
We're here
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Hey,talk to another state employer-higher up in the chain. I think it was the big guy- his name was Barr. This one was nicer but to the point. Said that he will send me a form to give to the doctor and I should get 75% of my disability back. Remembering the awful guy the day before that told me it didn't matter who I talk to I wasn't getting anything back. Persistence pays! Would write more but its after midnight here and I have to get up in three hours to catch a flight to VA. Visiting my DS, wifey and grandkids 2&6. So excited! Will catch up with you ladies later!
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Camille, thank you! I'm nervous because I see the MO next week. I've seen her plenty over the last few months because she was Mom's also. Just makes me uncomfortable for some weird reason!
Dwill, I hope your situation gets straightened out! I had surprise issues from my first student loans after DH and I got married. They took about 4k out of our tax return. Ooops. He wasn't very happy about that but we had the income to make it ok.0 -
Oddly enough, my cats seem to love the upheaval. If I so much as move a box from one room to another, they act like the box is something totally new to investigate fully.
I've had to force myself to just stop worrying about the cancer stuff. I just put my trust in my doctors to give me expert care and the best possible advice on what direction to go in when there are choices to be made. They seem to respect me and my decisions so it's been a good experience overall (or at least as good as possible given the situation.)
Dealing with death is a terribly personal experience. Every person experiences a death differently and every death is a unique situation. It's hard to know what to say to someone who has experienced a recent loss. I do feel sympathy and hope that the support of your friends here is helping you through this experience.
I've often wished I could grow wisteria here but it doesn't do well in the warm winter climates. It needs the winter chill to do really well.
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Jinkala I'm glad u'r furbabies are having a good tie.
Markat with all u've been going thru at this point seeing a Dr. is the last think u want to do---so it natural--so don't feel bad about how u feel--There are no rules about how u should feel, so do what u can. That's all. (((HUGS)))
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I am going to un-hermit tomorrow with a vengeance. One of the local department stores is having a bra-fitting event so I am going to go see whether I can wear an ordinary bra even without reconstructive surgery. Had MX, but skin sparing so I'm not completely flat on that side. Maybe it won't slide up. Then on Friday going to see a plastic surgeon about possible one-step implant or minor fat-grafting just to put some padding over the former breast area, even though not an actual breast-shape. I decided to talk to Dr Y (the PS) right after being advised against my original plan of DIEP by the 2nd opinion doctor, but since I made that appointment I have been remembering all the reasons I didn't want an implant in the first place, so if the bra fitting works I may just pass on the whole business.
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Hi ladies- just a couple things to share on the posts I scanned today:
Markat- so glad to hear from you. There will be a lot to follow after your mothers passing. Even if you don't have to sell a house, etc., it is very hard to go through someone's belongings. My mom passed 3/12/12 and we had things coming up well into this year. So be patient, this is not a quick process (but after all you have been through, you know how to work through a lot of unknowns). My thoughts are with you. I hope the MO visit goes well.
Laurie- I hope your post op visit goes well and you get some more info from the pathology report discussion. They will advise you on next steps but don't afraid to get second opinions either if you are not sure. All the treatment is very customized and their are pros and cons to each treatment. I am sorry you are still not feeling well. You had a big surgery with that incision. It takes time to get better.
Curve- bra fitting sounds great. I think it will help you to feel good to have something on top that makes you feel okay. I have found since my surgeries and radiation, only good sports bras (Moving Comfort) are the only thing that feel good.
Everyone else, hi for now and will check in again soon! Hugs to all!
I heard on the news today that cancer survivors have a lot more anxiety post recovery, even many years later. Why wouldn't we? They put the worry into you it can always come back.
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Hi Everyone,
Having been here for a while....haven't had the energy. Work is not good, and it has been physically and mentally terrible draining. I can't muster up the energy to do anything....I want out of that place, I just don't care anymore, just want to live my life and peacefully as possible. I am talking to the H.R person Friday....I think they are hoping I will quite, but I won't because the only way I can get on my husbands insurance is if I get fired...it all really sucks, and I feel this job is the reason I got cancer in the first place, I know sounds crazy, but it has been so stressful this past year...and I feel like it lowered my imune system and boom I get cancer....so here I am back at this crap ass job that is still making me miserable........on a good note, I have my kitten who thinks I am the cats meow...lol.....he is a bit naughty and seems to want to pester me when I am on the computer.....take care everyone...I am going to zone out and forget about my troubles......
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Hi friends,
Love to all of you posting recently. Hope and prayers to all of you going through your own battles. You are all in my heart every day.
My follow up was today. My "angel" doctor walked in, took a deep breath and said, "Well hon....we need to do surgery again." So, my reexcision will be tomorrow morning. I took a deep breath and said, "Thank you." I felt comfortable with this decision and I'm so glad that he didn't even give me the option of not. As I had said before, this first surgery kind of knocked me on my butt (I wasn't expecting that) and my scar is still fresh, but I am grateful that we are doing it right away. He assured me that the weird ring affect under my armpit was just bruising. Yay. Also, NO invasive cancer was found. Yay! No Oncotype score yet. So, I will have a week setback, but I am still on track to be well enought to fly to Omaha in two weeks to watch my son pitch. I wouldn't miss that for the world.
When the doctor left, my husband started to cry and said, "You knew it. I'm so sorry you have to do this again." Love him.
Well, that is it for now girls. See you on the other side (again). Lori---my heart breaks for you. I am praying for your peace.
Love and hugs,
XOXOXOXO
Laurie
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Laurie prayers coming u'r way and this will be all done soon. U'll be at u'r son's game, don't worry.
Lori--I feel so bad u feel so unhappy. Give u'r kitty lots of loving cuz when she gets bigger she'll be so used to it she's be doing it like crazy and u'll really enjoy it, cuzz alot of her silliness wikk quiet down and then she'll be a cuddler. And u'r job act anyway u want to get fired---really chemo brain is a powerful thing that has been recognized just lately actually. The remarkable thing is u don't even have to have chemo to have it, cancer alone can do it. Soo adding that to a miserable feeling job is horrible for u. Most of the time I think when I was little why did I think Oh I can't wait to grow up LOL--It was so fun when I was young.
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Mark how cool is the poster, bet it made you smile.....sorry again about your mom it is such a trying time afters especially with what everything else you are going through.....hang in there...no the car is not fixed, and who knows when it will be...
Jazzy...thanks, and don't work too hard....
Lori....hang in there, it happens alot that I have read the job/administrator is usually the ones that are the problem...
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Laurie, you did know it, and it will be ok like before...hang in there...your husband is having a hard time with this, maybe he needs to talk to someone, do you they have counseling for spouses?
Good luck sweetie see you when you get on....
Have my 23rd chemo yesterday, yep am tracking and saw the dr....he is doing tm and we will scan in a while, don't care, just scanned in March so no worries....feeling good today as usually, had steroids....so the next day it is like I am speeding making spagetti and meatballs in the crock pot, but just ordered chinese food, cause I wanted it and will need leftovers for the next couple of days....last night was not good at all got home and slept most of the night, I did eat toast but don't have anyone to cook for me, anyway....I hate that I know what the next couple of days will be like...I have a party for DD2 on sunday, at exhusbands with new wife hope I don't get tired....
BBL
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I'm so hermitty again, But I am going out for dinner tomorrow night with my 2 brothers and their ---one wife--one GF and my sister and BIL so that's always fun--I really should figure out what I'm going to wear today and then I'll be all set if I have to wash anything and should I wear my pretend bra????It's the jewelry that gives me thought the most---I have loads that I haven't even worn so I like to pick spring stuff out--yes I have all different season Jewelry, before BC that was my passion now I have so much and don't use it they still have tags on. hahaha and then next Sat. nite is Joey's BD party (9) OMG and my sister and cousins are coming which when I'm with them I absolutely love it. But I can wear anything then.
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Just read posts/trying to catch up! Busy, busy hermits, all!
Beach was wonderful. Wish I could live there. Boat ride to island was love, love. Found shells, shark teeth (beach equivalent of four-leaf clover), and watched the little hermit crabs skittering about and thought of you. Dh enjoyed being on the naval base...
Laurie, you sound in good hands. Your dh will recover and your bond will be all that more blessed. Omaha will be a joy.
Camille, busy party girl! Wow. Joey 9? He'll have a great time, especially with you there.
Curve, bgirl, Lori, blondie, Markat!, Teka and each... hugs and hopes for good days. Sorry not to post individually, but a deep pile of laundry is begging to be washed--before the lovely ocean smells start to grow into not so lovely...
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Yay for a wonderful trip Skittle! Did you guys get the tropical storm? DH wants us to sneak off (with the kids of course) on a road trip next week. I'm feeling torn! Live life and go or finish up my business and save the money! Actually not next week, but the week after.
Lori sorry you are still having problems
Laurie I'm sorry you need more surgery but I guess you have to take care of that. I don't think you will have an Oncotype if no invansive cancer is found, right? I could be completely wrong about that though.
Camille I'm jealous of your jewelry! I have very little and always seem to lose the pieces I do get. I love costume jewelry or the cheap stuff.
Blondie I hope the next couple days aren't too bad.
I'm supposed to go to a friends house tomorrow night, a wedding Saturday and a bunch of business appointments and doctors appointments next week. My hermitty self is not happy!
Jazzy, teka, Jinkala, bgirl, Whaevah, Fl, curve, and everyone I'm forgetting Big hugs and hope everyone has a great weekend. Tomorrow is my last day of work! I can't believe it! I remember posting about my interview.0 -
No worries Skittle go do your wash...I love the beach so peaceful to me....lots of water.....
Cam hope your dinner goes well....
Mark wow....last day of work, how are you feeling about that? have fun this weekend...
for me the problem with not having a running car is that I can hermit more than ever.....I can borrow 2 cars, DIL's and daughters.....sometimes....but I miss not having a car...
Hugs to all.....
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Hi ladies- day 4 of my go live and tired. One more long day tomorrow then we get a break for the weekend. Going to an outdoor jazz concert sat night.
Cami- like that you love jewelry (me too!) I wore some blue amber (more green) I bought in St Thomas last year on a cruise. Love my "peices" as I call them. Hope you have a nice un-hermitting and hope you can wear some of your favorite peices too.
Markat- done with teaching for the year, right? Been keeping you in my thoughts.
Blondie-23 rounds of chemo. That leaves me speechless. I hope you are doing okay.
Laurie- so sorry about having to go back. They do their best based on the visuals and try to get everything. I hope you are resting comfortably tomorrow and on the mend soon. You have that game to look forward to, which is a positive.
Lori- I agree with Teka, maybe less tolerance at work with all you have been through. Certainly the case for me, and I did not do chemo. I just consider the veil lifted on how much BS I have put up with sometimes in the workplace (we all do). I am creating different boudaries as a result these days. Someone tried to farm off a dead weight employee to my project team today during a very busy go live, and I made sure it did not happen. I am not a babysitter.
Skittle- so glad your time by the water was enjoyable. Shark teeth, hermit crabs, it all sounds delightful.
Teka- what is blooming now?
Got to get to some recyling that needs to go to the curb.
Love to all hermits near and far!
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Jazzy not 23 rounds, 23 chemos...
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Markat this is an order---u go away with u'r family for however long u'r husband wants and enjoy each other, that'a what he would like now and he's been at u'r side so now be at his side for a vacation. The end.......
Skittle the beach sound wonderful--water is so relaxing isn't it? and yet so frightening (can be)
Oh Blondie 23 rounds a lot, I'm sorry and I'm sure there are different types too . Rest whenever u can and drink loads of water.
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Camille... I love how you're a take-charge kind of woman. (Markat, this is an order!) Love it. (But, Markat, I so agree. Take the time and get away. Most of us will look back and say, gee, I wish I had... and not, gee, I wish I hadn't... Grab a handful of happy and watch your girls laugh. Let yourself relax...)
Jazzy... jazz concert! Do you have a favorite artist? I am ignorant of most jazz. Never had the required free spirit to bounce with the unexpected twists and turns.
blondie... ouch. Hope you can get past it soon and look back with a wow-it's-over triumph.
teka... be well.
Lori... happy kitten. Work must be exhausting. Stress is rough especially with trying to recover.
Laurie... prayers for a gentle recovery.
Hugs to all. Enjoy upcoming weekends. :-)
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CAM not 23 rounds 23 chemo's it is about 13 rounds.....wish I could drink water but can't makes me nauseous so have gotten nestle bottled water with flavoring in it...
Mark what Cam said...
Skittle wish it was over but won't move from 1 chemo to another when that doesn't work move on, until I decide I am done....
HAPPY WEEKEND!!
BBL
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Blondie I still don't know thing see I told u guys. All I know is I went every week for over 2 yrs with all different kinds of chemo and finished with herceptin and ALWAYS had my benedryl-I asked for it even with herceotin, I usually got the nuelasta shot and most of the time I had to go back the next day and get a 5 hr drip of Potassium, which as u know can kill u if it's to fast and I'd constantly say watch my drip this is what they use for lethal injection---my cop shows--see that's what I knew about cop shows still do and scary movies. hahaha--This is the most I've known about cancer (and not much) then I ecer did. Oh Blondie I do hate to hear of how chemo affects u and others --Sometimes I'd think they shoot horses don't they, but I lived alone and for me that was fine so I could moan ll I wanted hahaha and when I did see people I would say Oh I'm fine---Like we all do. LOL
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I am always fine, that is what I say....
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Dear friends,
Thank you for your hugs and support. I am doing okay, however the pain is WAY worse than last weeks surgery. Not complaining, just fact. The anethesia really bothered me this time (prob cause it was back to back) and I was so restless when I got home that I couldn't sit, stand, or lie down. All I could do was pace. It was awful. Hubby suggested a slow walk outside. We did that (ice packs and PJ's hahaha) and it helped SO much. Plus I drank a ton of water to flush my system. My incision isn't very pretty anymore. It is more jaggedy and indented, but as long as the cancer is gone, I don't care.
Markat--yes, I still will get Oncotype score even though it wasn't invasive. Don't know about radiation yet, but for sure I will be on Arimidex. Doctor confirmed. Will meet my Oncologist after 6/12 sometime. I think of you every day and pray that your heart and body are healing.
Skittle...SO glad you had a wonderful vacation! You deserve it! Jazzy-have a wonderful time at the concert! Hugs! Blondie--I am speechless at what you have to endure. My prayers are with you always. Camille, Teka, Lori and all of the rest....thinking of you. HUGS!
XOXOXO
Laurie
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Hi and Nite Everyone----I'm sorry Laurie tht this is so difficult for u---I'm sorry to say any of this is so difficult but it's just sad. Is u'r back hurting too mostly on Top for breathing.? (((HUGS)))
Blondie u too (((HUGS)))
Teka is of little words , but they are powerful and so true----PAIN MEDS==That's what they are there for.
I had a nice time tonite but I walk like a 90 yrs old and then say I'm fine hahaha but I'm exhausted so I know my tomorrow will definitely be a really hermitude day. completely for me.
Try and have a restful nite everyone.
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Dear Laurie - So glad that that is over for you and now you are on the road to having this all in the rearview mirror - somebody here wrote that and I really like that. I guess it's getting like that for me but I can still see it. I'm on Armidex - and it caused hot flashes. So they gave me celexa for that which has helped a lot - just letting you know that if you get the hot flashes they have stuff to help you.
Has anyone here become fearful of anything they weren't afraid of before?
Happy Saturday~
M
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Marilyn I'm not sure exactly what u mean??? Bit I know I've changed alot and some things are different to me, the way I feel----
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Happy Saturday to all the hermits...think I am going out today, already did to drop my DIL off she lent me her car til tomorrowish...
Laurie complain away, really we understand, maybe not your pain but we have pain of our own...
Thanks Cammie....meds that is the way to go with me....I take 4, plus perks, and 2 nausea meds, the benedryl is sitting here also....
Have a wonderful Saturday, BBL
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Hi hermits- tired from the busy go live week. No work today except a noon phone call about something no one will say it is about. Will find out shortly. Meanwhile, I am getting a few things done at home, going to the bank, then the gym, then home to rest for awhile. Got invited to a resort nearby for a birthday dinner tonight which sounds nice and relaxing!
Laurie- I am sorry about your second surgery being harder. Two surgeries back to back is tough- I had 2 last year myself in two different areas of my body and it was not an easy recovery. Pain meds do help, without pain you can sleep and rest is so important to our recovery. Feel better and go out for some fresh air and sunshine as you are up to it.
I had the oncotype test on my DCIS too. Hope you get the results too. I also hope your insurance company pays for it without a fuss too, I am still going through rounds of appeals on getting my paid. It is the only thing I had an auth on that I am still having issues with.
Cami- glad you had a nice time. I feel like I move like someone 20 years older. Arimidex takes it toll (and just three months into it so far).
Blondie- so sorry about your naseousness. I hope you can find something to drink that won't make you feel badly.
Markat- time with the girls.
CV- I actually feel less fearful about things in some respects. Came face to face with my mortality several times last year and perhaps have a different feeling about life now. I ready something on FB that said don't lament about getting older, it is a priviledge many are denied. I think I am clearer with myself that life is short, unpredictable and to savor those special times. I do have some worry my cancer may return some day to take me. My doctors tell me my cancer was caught early, was a slow growing kind, etc. and they don't think it will cause me future problems. But we all know the whole thing is a crap shoot. Until the good lord decides to bring me on home, I am going to do my best to live fully and to be kind to everyone.
Gotta get going to my day. Hoping everyone is doing okay on this saturday.
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Kindness, gentleness are both healing and centering. I think that's why hermits get along so well in a nest such as this.
Hoping pain, meds, grief, burdens are just a little lighter today... hugs...
Have been on Arimidex a year and a half. SE's different individually, as with everything else. Spent time on arimidex thread a while, but it scared me off a bit with all the emphasis on negatives. Many have no se's at all.
Wishing you a restful Sunday ahead.
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