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No treatments for me.

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Comments

  • CelineFlower
    CelineFlower Member Posts: 145
    edited March 2013

    this thread... has been so helpful.. Cin dy, Elaine..and all of you...thank you for welcoming me...and helping me...

    i dont want to go away... 

    i promise i wont be far...

  • ali68
    ali68 Member Posts: 644
    edited March 2013

    Hi Cindy, DH and I went to our local theatre to watch a play, we thought we had to get out. I saw a few friends and family and that was great. Everyone is still shy of me and all they say is " are you well now"

    So we sit down and start watching and WTF it's about a woman going through chemo who then finds out she has months to live. Who ever did the research for this is so wrong and I'm thinking is this what the public think of Cancer patients.

    So this woman was made out to be a raving loonatic and her drugs were making her worse. DH and i just looked at each other and laughed but I was cross inside. At half time everyone was saying the same and many people left without watching second half. Love to everyone xx



  • sarahsmom
    sarahsmom Member Posts: 276
    edited March 2013

    Ali, that is horrible. What was the point of the play? I'll bet you wanted to stand up and scream "that's not how it is at all!"

  • Linda-n3
    Linda-n3 Member Posts: 1,713
    edited March 2013

    Greetings to all today.  Cin, hoping you are comfortable.

    I talked with my counselor today, and it dawned on me that "this is probably as good as it gets." I asked her if she thought I would EVER feel close to the way I felt before BC, and she said "no." This is the most honest response, and I so appreciate it. She said I have been wasting way too much psychic energy on trying to "get back to my old normal" and have failed to use that energy to live in the moment, to enjoy each moment that I can. I told her the cancer has not caused me ANY problems, only the TREATMENTS, but I am sure that at some time in the future, the cancer itself will cause some issues. And so I need to focus on the present moment, get as much joy out of each one NOW and not worry about the future as I don't really know what that will be like anyway.  So I am just breathing today, just "being" with the pain and fatigue and not fighting it.

    Thank you for the kind comments about my posts. Now I have to make sure I don't get a swelled head or get too prideful....

    Ali, sounds like the play was not all that great, but I can kind of identify with the lunatic on meds feeling ... I felt so much better after ditching all my meds about a month or 2 ago, like my brain was functioning again! But I have had to slowly add a few back for pain, fatigue, sleep ... although not as much as before ...

    Hugs to all of you, may you all have a peaceful night (or day, for those of you many time zones removed from here ...)

  • blondiex46
    blondiex46 Member Posts: 2,726
    edited March 2013

    Cin thinking of you....

    Anybody IMO can come and say nice things if they want.....hey Val

    Yea, what was the point of the play?

    Linda I am so sorry, but I am glad the counselor was honest....I think/know this is the new normal for us....and we just have to deal with it the way it is....getting back to the way it used to be for me is not going to happen....and I wish other people would realize that....

    Happy Friday night!!!

  • 2nd_time_around
    2nd_time_around Member Posts: 14,084
    edited March 2013

    Thanks Athena and Carpediem! Well said Athena!



    Above all, thanks Elaine for being the voice for Cindy.



    Cindy, I hope you're enjoying spring, that the weather where you live is starting to warm. Sending love your way.

  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 672
    edited March 2013

    ...and welcome valjean!

  • Linda-n3
    Linda-n3 Member Posts: 1,713
    edited March 2013

    Welcome valjean! Greetings to all. Sending wishes for rest and peace for Cin, Elaine, and everyone. Nothing new here - had a nice lunch out with DH after errands, now resting and checking in on my BCO buddies.

  • nancyhb
    nancyhb Member Posts: 235
    edited March 2013

    Dropping in to send light and peace to Cindy-Rose.  I check this thread from time to time to see how she's doing.  The love here radiates and evelopes those who stop by - we're so lucky to have each other in times such as these.  Blessings to you, Cindy - and to all of you here.

  • steelrose
    steelrose Member Posts: 318
    edited March 2013

    I too have followed this thread, quietly. Cindy-Rose, you are such a strong lady, an independent thinker, an inspiration. "To thine own self be true..."

    Wishing you comfort and peace. 

    With love and admiration,

    Rose.

  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 672
    edited March 2013

    Rose, nice to "see" you here.

    Also wondering about Cindy. I see nothing on her blog since Feb. She is probably doing lots of sleeping?

    ((((Cindy)))), I hope you can read this and are not in pain. Do you like animals - what pictures do you like and we can post them for you? I saw a film about a "repo" man and thought of you. Smile

  • goodprognosis
    goodprognosis Member Posts: 195
    edited March 2014

    Passing by to send love and prayers to Cindy.  Hope the coming weeks find you peaceful and painfree.  It's hard to convey how much we miss your great humour and insightful posts Cin, except to tell you again, like everyone else here is constantly telling you, how much you're missed and loved.  Your silence on the board is painful .  God's love to you and Elaine and DH and all family.

    Carp, did you get final results of the thyroid tests yet?

    lorna

  • Linda-n3
    Linda-n3 Member Posts: 1,713
    edited March 2013

    I am also missing Cin's commentary, and hope she is sleeping, resting, and comfortable. I miss Elaine. Keeping both in my heart, and hoping they both get a chance to read here to know how much love we are sending them.

    There was recently a discussion elsewhere about who could/should or could not/should not post on certain discussions.  Just to remind those who may feel a bit tentative about posting your supporting comments here, let me quote: "Forum: Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care — A unique forum ONLY for those trying to live well and/or trying to die well."  That is what we are trying to do here - live well and die well.  We support each other through this very difficult journey, and those who just read and "lurk", I hope you gain some comfort and understanding; those who feel moved to post supportive messages just prove that love is the most powerful force there is; and those who post here regularly and who have been walking with Cin since she started this thread have developed some special connections with Cin, her sister Elaine, and with each other.  We are here to be supportive, respectful, and loving, and I want to be sure all the recent ladies who posted are welcomed in that same spirit.

    Ali, I hope your daughter is doing better and getting the care she needs.

    Carpediem, waiting for test results with you.

    Hoping all the rest of you are surviving this latest weather - Winter storm Victor???? - major crap all over the place this weekend! Stay warm and dry!

  • blondiex46
    blondiex46 Member Posts: 2,726
    edited March 2013

    well said Linda.

  • sarahsmom
    sarahsmom Member Posts: 276
    edited March 2013

    Cin, my book comes out on April 24th, I cannot wait to send you a copy! You walked that journey with me early last year and I'll be forever grateful! So, are you a grandmother yet??  I lost track of when the baby is due.  You'll be the coolest one ever, repo lady! :-)  Much love to you, I hope you are comfortable and pain free.  Elaine, hope you visit with us soon!!  xoxo

    To the other wonderful ladies, so sorry I disappeared - I had a crazy weekend. Today is a snow day, hubby went to work and my teenager will probably sleep until this afternoon Yell so I have time to catch up. The CT and ultrasound results were completely negative. I know that is great news and it could be so much worse, but we have no answers now. My throat hurts every day - either feels like there is a lump or a chicken bone stuck inside, been this way since before Christmas. I had her do the scope again and she said my esophasagus does look very red and irritated, there is an abrasion on my larynx. So who knows. I am moving on, I don't know what else to do! She wants me to try zantac to see if it is night/silent reflux so what the heck, giving it a try. I tried nexium and it trashed my stomach. Anyhow, it's just a mystery but pressing onward!

    Love to all of you and thanks for checking on me!

  • leggo
    leggo Member Posts: 379
    edited March 2013

    Thinking of you Cindy.

  • goodprognosis
    goodprognosis Member Posts: 195
    edited March 2014

    Carp, great news on the negative result.  That word is sweet to hearLaughing. Certainly is a mystery though.  You mentioned Nexiam bothers your stomac, how is that?  I take it too for reflux and find it great!

    Thinking of all you ladies and particularly Cindy.

    Just wanted to say here that I hope I never intrude on this thread.  If anyone thinks I do, you only have to ask me and I'll stop posting and I won't be one bit offended.  I read the thread that you mention above linda and to be honest i didn't realise the way some stage IV ladies felt about their privacy-but of course if I had thought about it more I should have reailsed it.  I know your post welcomed positive contributions and hope everyone else feels like that, but if not, that's fine with me too.

    Love and prayers to all. Lorna

  • sarahsmom
    sarahsmom Member Posts: 276
    edited March 2013

    Hi Lorna, thanks for the note! I am not sure why - my stomach is usually iron clad - so why the nexium bothers me (a rare side effect) and why the reflux, if that's what's happening. Argh. Oh well, another bump on the road of life! I am relieved it isn't anything worse. Whatever the ENT felt in my thyroid didn't show up on the ultrasound, so another mystery. I am moving to the Middle East this summer so trying to get all of my medical mysteries as resolved as possible.

    Linda, love your posts, as usual!  I have learned so much from you, Cindy, Blondie, Gracie, Steelrose on all of her posts on this site, etc - no matter what life may throw at me, I am ready to tackle it. You are all showing me how to cope with the bad deals life dishes out with grace, dignity and humor! Ali, hope your daughter is getting better with treatment, I know you're worried sick. Shout out to Athena and second time around. Celine, please do stay here on our vigil of love and friendship for Cin. I sure hope she checks in soon, last time she signed on was the 21st.

    xo

  • ali68
    ali68 Member Posts: 644
    edited March 2013

    Hi Cindy, I really miss you and the advice you give. I hope your pain free and comfortable, is your friend still looking after you?

    Hello to everyone and thanks for all the lovely comments about my daughter. Last week at the hospital they said they might take her off the meds. I told them it was my daughter and I know what's best for her so she stays on it. She has lost more weight so I'm worried they will take her into hospital. We have a meeting with doctors this week and take it from there. She looks and feels less depressed and I think it's because of the meds. ( not working yet but she feels like she will get better)

    Her college have been great and she wants to stay and try and do her exams.

    DH and I went out for lunch today and the food was so good.

    Love and hugs to all



    Alison

  • blondiex46
    blondiex46 Member Posts: 2,726
    edited March 2013

    thinking of all of you....Cin...hope this finds you well

    Ali....thoughts and prayers...

  • Linda-n3
    Linda-n3 Member Posts: 1,713
    edited March 2013

    Good morning Cin, Elaine, all others. Keeping you all in my heart and prayers.



    May you be free from pain and suffering, may you be free from fear, may you be filled with lovingkindness, may you be at peace.

  • blondiex46
    blondiex46 Member Posts: 2,726
    edited March 2013

    you also Linda.....

  • Linda-n3
    Linda-n3 Member Posts: 1,713
    edited March 2013

    Thanks, Blondie.



    I am starting the day with a cup of tea and prayers for each of you. I had DH get me my Ritalin first thing so I could get moving before noon as I seem to be functional for only about 8-10 hours without it and I wanted to have a full day that started before noon and included you all. (Is this a run-on sentence? Sorry...)



    Love and hugs to all. Missing Cin and Elaine.

  • sarahsmom
    sarahsmom Member Posts: 276
    edited March 2013

    Love to all of you ladies. Looks like Elaine was on the site this week - I sure wish she'd give us an update when passing through, hint, hint if you're reading! ;-) ;-) ;-)

    I am off on a long trip so will check back if I can. May take a little break from the computer, it's been ruling my life lately. Thinking about all of you and hope you can find a peaceful moment today.  I saw the most beautiful "moon set" this morning on the 6:30 AM school run - the full moon was huge and low on the horizon against the morning sky. I wish I could have taken a picture but that's not smart on the capitol beltway ;-) It was my moment of "ah ha" for the day - love how nature can ground us. Now back to the madness!

    xoxo

  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 672
    edited March 2013

    ali - I am really glad your daughter appears to be doing better.

    Linda - I do hope your throat clears up soon. It is wonderful news about the scans! And I couldn't agree more with you about the intent of this thread.

    Goodprognosis - you are more than welcome and "at home" here, as am I, thanks to Cindy's incredible example of what a support forum can be.

    I fear for Cindy (and Elaine) and wish we knew something...

  • april485
    april485 Member Posts: 1,983
    edited March 2013

    Still no word from Cin or Elaine? I am getting nervous...

  • blondiex46
    blondiex46 Member Posts: 2,726
    edited March 2013

    me too April...Cin or Elaine, please checkin and Carp have fun!!!

  • goodprognosis
    goodprognosis Member Posts: 195
    edited March 2014

    Praying for Cindy......and wishing everyone here loving goodness.


  • blondiex46
    blondiex46 Member Posts: 2,726
    edited March 2013

    Thanks good and still waiting for one of them to check in.

    How is everyone?

  • valjean
    valjean Member Posts: 1,110
    edited March 2013

    It's a beautiful sunny day here & I hope it is where all of you supportive sisters are!

    Just whizzing through to see how Cindy has been doing.

    I join everyone in hoping to hear from her or Elaine soon.

    Make it a great day!

    Huggggs!

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