2013 Survivors!!!
Comments
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Shianne, don't beat yourself up over this. You guys have just come through a life-changing ordeal, and the men in our lives have a very hard time with this. I don't think it has anything to do with being turned on by you or not. The psyche is a very complex thing, and on a deeper level, subconsciously, he is still processing what happened to you. It takes its own time. In my experience, and that of a close friend who also had bc, it takes months rather than weeks before our men will give themselves permission to be intimate again, and to trust that it is 'safe' again. You may feel ready, and tell him so, but he has to 'heal' too. It will happen eventually. Just be your loving self, be patient, trust that it will happen sometime down the road, and he will come around. Hope you understand what I'm trying to say.
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Horrified by the acts in Boston - no words to describe my anger. And yes, make these nut jobs take chemo for 6 months... then fry the bastards. Sorry, in my youth I was so against the death penalty and such (coming from London it was a regular occurence with the Irish doing their best to blow us up)....now I am older I have no tolerance for these people - they do not deserve to breath our air. Sorry for the rant!
Chrisrenee: continued positive vibes for your nephew and in his pockets for Thursday.
Shianne: Took me a year to get my mojo going - seriously it did - and it was work even then. Great advice from liefie - as always - he does need to heal too. I wondered why my DH wasn't bothered by our lack of intimacy - we cuddled lots. When I asked him he said he was waiting for me to be ready but also needed to process what a year we had gone through.
OK - know I am missing most of you. Thinking of you as always and sending positive vibes and healing hugs where needed.
Was at a cancer fundraiser last night - 3 work colleagues are doing the Epicure Ride for the Cure - Vancouver to Seattle Bike Ride. Great fun, great turn out. Was at a Greek restaurant... yummy food - Scottie, do not read that.
I need to get down to some work. Hugs ladies...love you all and so glad we have each other.
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Tazzy, if you love Greek food, I could send you my hubby, he's Greek and a great cook....only one stipulation, you have to keep him...💃
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Oh Scottie, if we're giving husbands away I'll add mine to the list.
I hear and know what you're saying liefie and Tazzy, it's just frustrating. No one took care if me thru this, I was so busy comforting family and friends who were more scared than I was, then night of my last chemo he breaks his heel! On crutches for 3 months, with me waiting on him all thru my surgery and rads etc. I told him at 3 weeks when the fibreglass cast came off to start some kind of PT. Nope waits till week 11, PT tells him "it's going to be a long road now to recovery, if you came to me 6weeks ago you would be fine by now." So, here we are, almost 5 months later and he's about as recovered as he can get, and still not willing to pay attention to any of my needs. He's a good man really. A great father. But this behaviour, it's so out of character!! I'm hurt by it.0 -
Shianne, so sorry you feel this way, and sending big hugs to you! Does your cancer centre offer counselling services? If you feel this hurt and confused by his out-of-character behaviour, maybe it will help to talk to a professional about it. Best wishes!
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Have not posted in a long time, but have kept up with reading all of your notes. I'm back to work, and generally doing well, happy some of the time, working on it.
A few months ago Scottie got me through some tough nights, and I need some support again. I have diverticular disease, and lately have been having a lot of bloating, gas, and some changes in bowel movements. I have my first colonoscopy scheduled for may 2nd. Am so scared of the results!!
Xoxo
Susannah0 -
Hugs Susannah!
Shianne: Men, if they can't fix it tend to ignore it in the hope it will go away, and if it doesn't get mad at it - least IMHO. And bc is something they cant fix. Good advice from liefie - see if you can talk to a professional about it. Try not to take it personally, although I know that's hard. Men can really be children at times - they sulk and have tantrums... grrr!!!
(((Hugs)))Scottie: OK I'll take your's if you take mine... mine cant cook, but is really good around the house and yard
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Hi Susannah....So nice to hear from you again.....sorry you're going through this....don't
worry....it sure sounds like diverticulitis....I used to be a registered dietitian and it would be helpful now for you to see one......the old theory was a low fibre diet but now a high fibre diet is recommended.
So happy you are back at work Susannah, it's really what saved me from being put in a straight jacket.
When you are in pain and really bloated, drink lots of water, juice and broth until the inflammation settles.
Keep posting here Susannah, this is a great bunch of supportive and helpful gals....when they're not slugging down beer and dancing on tables......lol0 -
Shianne....my husband is the same.....doesn't want to talk about it anymore.....he is
technically a good man but like yours, emotionally detatched......"I'm treated and cured so let's move on"......I try to talk about the emotional stuff but I just see his eyes glaze
over...WTH....lol......I say thank God for my sisters here......love you all....❤
Chrisrenee.....I'm thinking about you and your family....especially the little guy....the waiting must be just awful.....sending prayers for Thursday, of course and hugs to you whole family. PS. wish I could physically be with you on Saturday.....please wear
pants with HUGE pockets....lol........
Tazzy I love you too much to do that to you.....lolv class='post_sig'>Dx 2/12/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage I, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2-Surgery 03/02/2012 Lumpectomy (Right)Surgery 03/02/2012 Lumpectomy (Right)Hormonal Therapy 03/24/2012 FemaraRadiation Therapy 05/02/2012 ExternalRadiation Therapy 05/02/2012 ExternalRadiation Therapy 05/02/2012 External0 -
Oops....sorry gals, don't know what happened there!!!!!
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oooerr.... Scottie broke it
hee hee !!0 -
Tazzy......WTH......😨
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Scottiee, you're in big trouble here . . . LOL.
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OMG Liefie......I guess talking about husbands got me all worked up ......😱
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So, it's een awhile since i posted>Diagnosed with IDC, stage 2,Grade 3,TN,. in May of last year.Started chemo in July, finished in Dec. and started Radiation in Jan. of this year.Radiation was finished in March of this year, the 8th. So treatment is over, i am back to work, my thing is this, I don't get a mammo until next month, have had no scans( except for a bone scan after diagnosis, tumor was on outer right side of right breast, prior to that i had been having recurrent rib/back pain near where the tumor was found and they wanted to rule out mets to the bone,scan was clear).The tum0or was removed,had it's own blood flow and was surrounded by nerves, this acccounts for all the pain. During/after radiation i cont. to have ri/back pain in the same area<saw RO last Thursday, he thinks the pain is due to radiation, had 35 treatments,boosts included. Is it normal to have this all day? It interferes with my ability to sleep because i can't tolerate any pressure on my side,motrin,tylenol do not help> I am a hospice nurse and i see this, have myself convinced that my job is why i worry. Do i make sense? Feel like I'm rambling. This pain nags at me, in a way, i don't want to know if it's mets, don't know if i could go through that again. Thanks for listening
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@ fishinurse
Praying for you and sending BIG HUGS!
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cmbernardi- Thank you for your support! I will definitely let you know if we need anything. As far as things to do, go to the watergardens in Ft Worth in the Sundance Square. It is so pretty and serene there. Jon and I went there last year for our anniversary. If you are looking for a place to eat Del Friscos (again in sundance square) is great but really pricey and men can't wear hats there. lol
wow! the sex topic is something that me and some other ladies just had as well as my hubby. I think we all need to remember that the last year or so has been sheer hell for all of us, including our significant others. Jon and I were talking about our sexlife, prior to him going offshore for work. He was so stressed out from his work that we literally did not have sex for a year. Everytime i would initiate it, he would turn me down, and I would cry thinking he was turned off by me. Shiane- i really don't think it has anything to do with him not being turned on by you, he could be dealing with his stress in a different way. Give yourself a break, you deserve it.
Susannah- I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this also. Don't stress about it, I know it's easier said than done.
I'm so excited i got my shirt for the relay for life, and I love what it says:
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Shianne; I'm taking green tea capsules. MO said NO raspberry ketones for BC girls. You should check with yours since your er+ too.
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Chris, agree with you about sex, and thanks for your words of support
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Chrisrenee.....love the t-shirt......so,proud of my new daughter.
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thanks mom! I'm doing this for all of us!
Susannah- I think we all feel the same way when something else happens. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Always waiting for the next thing to come and kick me in the stomach. Let us know what we can do to help you.
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first of all... Mods - any chance you can fix what Scottie broke here - hee hee !!
fishinurse: hugs.... I still get pain (not all day) in my upper arm, chest area from surgery. As your doc about Elavil (Amitriptyline) - its a non addictive muscle relaxant - boy do I get a good nights sleep when I need to take one.
chrisrenee - great t-shirt. I dont think we get t-shirts for the Relay for Life in Canada. I did for Run for the Cure got t-shirts for that. Have done Relay a few years and dont remember a t-shirt - oh! well whatever... great t-shirt. Love you are doing that.
Hugs and sweet dreams ladies.
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Juneau: I have just re-read your original post that started this thread. I think that in all our down/dark moments (and there have been a few of them lately) we should take a moment to read it and take it in again. IMHO.
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Tazzy- I did that a few weeks ago, and I cried like a baby. I had forgotten some of the stuff that we had talked about in the beginning. It definitely when I truly felt like a survivor. And it's all because of you all.
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All the best to you and your family this week and into the future. Thank you very much for your suggestions. We will definately try them both.
Stay safe and be well ALL this week with Peace, Love and Blessings!
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cmbernardi: It made me realise how far we had come... so bloody far. Yeah we have our moments now...but compared to the beginning...geesh! we have come so far and yes... we have gotten through it cos of each and every one of us here. Our thoughts and emotions have been shared and bared like with no others.
This is why we need a ROAD TRIP to meet up
Once May is here, September is only 4 months away. We need to think of something. Mcook.. where are you running through again ? when is the finish line?
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Hello ladies
The finish line is August 1st in Delaware? And maybe we can plan something around that date? My official run date is July 19th and I run some where between grinell Iowa and Iowa city.
Man I have been so tired lately and stiff? Lost of bone aches in am when I wake up. Does anyone else feel like this? I am good for a couple of days for work then can't get out of bed on the third on time. I see my doctor in two weeks so hopefully we can figure out something to help.
Wow time is flying by so fast isn't it? No spring weather yet for most of us and here in the Midwest we are getting another snow storm today:( so over this weather! Only blessing is I still do not have to worry about putting on shorts and showing my white legs:)
Michelle0 -
Michelle my body aches everyday! I am still on herceptin and tamoxifen and I ache so much. Knees, hips, shoulders and everything in between! I walk like a 200 year old person and at the end of the day I actually contemplate sleeping on the couch to avoid stairs! If this is a SE of tamoxifen how will I get through next 5 years! I had these aches during A/C and taxol but at least it would ease up after a few days. Now?! Fuggedaboutit! I figured I'm so tired because I ache so much that I don't get a good night sleep. Just rolling over hurts and wakes me up. Som nights I take Tylenol but can't do that everyday because that's bad for your liver. I give up! I see my MO in 3 weeks so I'll pick her brain then.
My sisters friend (a survivor herself) told me about an app called shopwell. You check off what you do and don't want in food and if you aren't sure if its good for you or not you scan it and it tells you.
Hope everyone has a good day with happy thoughts!0 -
Karen; I have no pain at all. Maybe it's the Herceptin.
Mcook; will YOU be at the finish line? I think you said no, so maybe we meet in Iowa?? Otherwise, yes let's look at somewhere SE in September. Bug I have surgery the first 2 weeks. She had to split my surgeries. So my breast life is the 5th and my eyes are the following Wednesday in her office. Difference between. $2000 and $5000! Holy shit, right?!
And damn you Tazzy... I retrad the top like you suggested and made myself cry... At work!!! Oh well. We have come a long way and its only been a few months. What is it??? "With miles to go before I sleep"?0 -
Karen I have no pain fron Tamoxifen, but I take 2 Tylenol every night and 3mg Melatonin it lets me stay sleeping about 6 hours. At 51 years old I have back pain and finger pain just a part of an aging life...
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