2013 Survivors!!!
Comments
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I guess I am the odd one out - but I absolutely hated going for chemo - I hated the actual chemo itself, hated what it did to my body, hated the elevator ride to the 6th floor, hated seeing other people in similar situations and in many cases much worse than myself. Sure the nurses were nice and kind, but I can honestly say that I never ever enjoyed going there, and I can honestly say that I do not miss it at all - not ever. It just seems like one horrible nightmare that I would like to be able to forget!!!
As for rads - it was somewhat different in that there was a rapport between myself and the techs and they were super supportive and I felt like I got to know them. I never really minded going every single day - but now that it is behind me - I am glad and again would like to put it behind me!
However, from all the reading I have done on here, it is unlikely that I will ever forget these two experiences since we are now changed forever. Our outlook on life is changed, things that at one time seemed important no longer seem important. Our bodies have changed - we have experienced so much and yet will continue to experience the late side effects of all of the treatments. So we will always have constant reminders of what we have been through. The best we can do is to embrace each and every day and welcome whatever it brings because we cannot choose what is going to happen in any given day. Cancer sucks!
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Adagio, I've never heard it said better!
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Asiago - I totally get it and well put ...I guess the only thing I need to learn from that is I need to find time like I was forced to during chemo to stop and slow down to relax and no because I have too! Thanks for making me think about it and believe me I never want to go back there!
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Hi KCA gang!
I am sooo jealous of the Iowa trip! I so want to give you each a hug, and share chocolate, wine and song!! I can't make it work (though I tried!) as I have a cousin's wedding near Hershey, PA on the 20th!! Please cherish every moment for me too and take a gazillion pictures!! I will be by your side as you support Mcook!
MCook, Congratulations sister, may that chemo room be in your rearview mirror...FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, I picked up my pieces I made at glassblowing a few weeks ago. A few of you wanted to see the finished products, so here are the paperweight and vase. Went out and cut a few spring flowers to be the first addition to the vase. Still can't believe I did something artsy, my friends will faint
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Mccook - I know what you mean about slowing down - and I guess that is one thing that chemo forces us to do - I am a do-er, and slowing down is a challenge for me too. Now I have to learn to simply relax into life itself. Easier said than done.
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Aruba they are beautiful!!!!!
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301724 I read the whole article. Some of it resounds from articles Susan Love has written recently. Thanks for posting.
Shianne, it seems that many of us have found lonliness which has been lessened by our solidarity on BCO. Some days I think I just need to do other things and not spend so much time here, but then realize that so much help and sharing, not to mention hope, comes from here.
Believe, I got the parcel in the mail today and there is another example of how wonderful you and this group of women is. I am wearing the bracelet now of course and absolutly love it. With the angel awards you tucked in, I hope to pay it forward. My daughter is coming to spend tomorrow with me and she will get hers. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
mcCook, a marathon is such an amazing feat and it looks like you will have a great cheering section!
Aruba, beautiful work!
liefie, I remember earlier you talking about your comedian son and his morning ritual~~those of us with kids are blessed even when it does not seem like it. I know we all have those days! So I hope the dream was a good one. I find that I have been having pretty bizarre dreams of late~~maybe the Mirtazapine. I do love my cats and in some of the lonely hours, they are such a huge support when they come and lie with me but do not expect anything in return.
Adagio, I had a long talk with a good friend on Sunday who is a stage 4 throat cancer (2004) and prostate cancer survivor too (2008) and he calls some of the things we have gone through and the consequences "take-aways." Nothing will be the same and some things we will wish we did not have and the take-aways will be reminders of that but this is what it is; we are survivors.
Copy/paste from Canadian threads today for an update:
I am feeling more at peace with the need for the full rads deal as I know I had 7/14 and #7 was after all that chemo and was etranodal and biggish. I know I need to hit those supraclavicular nodes.
Adagio, I will ask about iodine during rads. Anybody got anything eles to say about rads to the supraclavicular area?
Just back from an appt. at BCCA to see a psychiatrist I was referred to a month ago when I was really depressed. It was good and different from the times I saw a counsellor. She talked about the anitdepressants in general and the one I am on and how they work. I will continue for now and am feeling better for sure but whether the drugs in combination with the weather improving are helping is hard to say. She also says that is some cases S/E caused by Tamoxifen and the aromatase inhibitors are helped by antidepressants. I have been off Anastrozole for a month but may go back on it next week when I see my MO. But what I did find interesting is that this doctor does some work with mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for cancer~~this is actually the name of a new book she got recently and has lent me! Since I am supposed to start several 2 hour sessions of mindfulness at the cancer agency May 7 this may be of value to me. There is also a session in the fall through VGH that I may be a candidate for. Now back at yoga for almost 2 weeks and having gone 7 days in a row, and feeling so much better I am sure has value too. I am hopeful!
Adagio, I do appreciate your thoughts as Sneaky and I have gone thorugh the rads issues. I also appreciate your giving me your actual plans with numbers! I will have that info when I go and as always I work better when I know more.
Marian
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Yikes, that was long! But I forgot to thank you Juneau yet again for keeping us all together here. It makes me take deep breaths and say, "I can do this."
Thank you all.
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New York loves u all too!
2fried eggs...thanks for thinking of us young ens... Have been to the ysc sites and actually some of their meetings too. U guys r the best though0 -
Aruba: beautiful... you have a real talent.
Junea: how's the house hunting.... still have everything crossed you can join us in Iowa.
Marian: hugs
Shari: hugs
Today is one of those days when I am so grateful to be alive.... the sun is shining, I have all of you - and it sucks how we all came to meet. But the past is past and we all have so much of life to live. We did KCA !!
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Thinking of you all! I go for my 6 month post checkup tomorrow with my MO. I can't keep up with everyone but for all those going..have fun in Iowa.
Believe sorry I missed your birthday! Hope it was a good one.
Chrisrenee- was heartbroken for your nephew and niece. He is such a cutie!! Love his smile.
Tazzy-you always seem to be at work.
Sorry I am not responding to everyone brain can't keep up
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Aruba they are beautiful .. I am going to see if there is something near me ...
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lost : that is a wonderful post. So true of us here. In your pockets for tomorrow. Yes, I am always at work... least it seems that way, just the normal mon-fri 8-4. Really like my job, but when the sun starts shining I just want to be in it and in my garden.
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Marianelizabeth, I'm in the middle of rads right now and they are zapping the supraclav area. I asked specifically about whether the thyroid needs to be shielded and they said no, it's out of the way. I guess I have to trust them.
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Aruba- you have talent! Your pieces are beautiful. Do you plan to make more?
I didn't have chemo but I don't miss Radiation at all. Definitely in my rear view window!
Really checking in late today and the Beast is calling me! I met a friend for lunch and she said I'd lost so much weight she didn't recognize me. Now that's motivation!!! Not losing big numbers on the scale but lots of inches disappearing.
Still amazed about you runners! You go girls.
Marian, glad your package finally arrived. Could mail service be any slower between our parts of the world? I hear a smile in your email!
Chrisrenee-where are you? Hope you are just busy.
Shari - love it when you check in! You are always in our hearts.
LostinMo - in your pockets with treats! I found out Gem World is closed until October. So disappointed.
Love and appreciate you all! You are the Sisters I never had.0 -
Aruba, can't believe you made that!Wow!
lostinmo, thanks for your beautiful post.
Marian, it seems you are doing absolutely everything in your power to get better on all fronts. You will reap the benefit. My dream was a convoluted nightmare with snatches of many different things, but I do know that I talked to you at some stage - LOL! Hugs to you!
Tazzy, ditto on feeling grateful to be alive when it is so glorious outside - sunshine gives so much energy!
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Ditto on the beautiful weather. Laced up my new running kicks and went for my first outdoor run in I can't remember when. Felt great! Yeah for KCA!
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Hi ladies! Been kinda busy at work this week. So I haven't been able to get on as much as I like.
Mcook- as much as i would LOVE to be there with you as you cross the finish line on your run. I will be there with you in spirit and cheering you on. I'm up for a skype!
Aruba- your glass blowing projects are beautiful!
lostinmo- Thank you regarding my nephew. We were hoping he was going to get to go home today, but his surgeon noticed a fluid build up on his stump and will be keeping him until Monday. I'm hoping that this link will post. Alex got a surprise visit at the hospital yesterday. He was so excited and was grinning ear to ear. His giggle makes me smile.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10201026179405078&set=vb.1485265204&type=2&theater
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adagio...from the comments here, I thought I was the only one that hated the chemo room. Most of the patients were so quiet...either reading, on cell phones, on their Ipads or sleeping.
I didn't mind the pre blood tests each time but some of the nurses were clueless on how to insert the IV. My fav nurse was a guy that later won an award for the area for being so competent and funny. I watched each time to see if he would be my nurse. A few times the other nurses would ask his help in inserting the IV after a few bad attempts. He also knew how to speed up the drugs when necessary and slow them down if they hurt.
I didn't really mind the IV itself, just the waiting and the routine....3 AC and 12 taxols. I didn't even want to ring the bell after my last treatment but they insisted. I just wanted to get out of there and never go back. It is my biggest fear to date.
I found the rad techs to be very impersonal and there was always a long wait each day due to machine maintenance altho there were 6 machines. Just another place I never want to see again.
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schatzi - I sure hope you never have to go to either rads or chemo again. I wouldn't wish either treatments on anyone. That male nurse sounds amazing - I am glad that he got recognition for his competence. I think that since ports are so prevalent these days that the chemo nurses don't get the same opportunities to start IV's and they are getting out of practice. I always asked the nurse I got how long she had worked at the unit before giving her my arm - if she was new, I asked for "the expert" - that's the name they gave to the nurse they called on when initial attempts at IV failed. I believed in being my own advocate for sure. I only had to get the expert twice - thank God.
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Adagio/schatzi; I hated that room too...loved the nurses; it was small in my drs office- only two nurses. They were great, but Fuck that room!!
Mcook; yay- last one!!
Lostinmo; in your pockets today. Six months already...!
Mcook/Ramols: I tried to run outside and my shins just KILL ME!
So last week I did spin class (twice), muscle pump, yoga, Pilates, circuit strength training, and also hot on my treadmill just about every morning.... I lost .2 lbs. *sigh*... At least now I'm not cursing and freaking out; I'm stronger then ever, and staying focused on that...and eating well. I'm taking care of myself. So fuck that scale....Just For Today.
Tazzy; think we found a place. It'll stretch our budget, but... I go see it Saturday. My husband loved it. It's a shirt sale so if the bank says no to what we can afford, then I guess it is to meant to be.
Ok I know I missed half of you.. But I Love you all; oh, and MarianEliz; don't need to thank me for starting this thread... It was a selfish act... I NEEDED YOU ALL!!! BIG HUGS LADIES!!!! Make it a HAPPY FRIDAY!0 -
Schatzi, it wasn't the room per se that I liked lol, but the nurses were so comforting, the volunteers were always smiling and raising spirits. There were several people who were on the same schedule as me and we actually were able to laugh and joke around. So much so that one lady who started close to our end thanked me when I left, she said we helped her to not be so scared and made it less aweful for her. And showed her how to "help" other newcomers. Kind of pay it forward. Lol. I was just happy at that time that SOMETHING was being done. Same with rads. I hated it, I mean really hated rads. But the techs were so kind. Holding my hand and rubbing my back when I had my melt down, asking about family etc. I'm so sorry that a horrible experience was made even worse for you by the caregivers!!
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Aruba - beautiful
Juneau - how exciting that you may have found a place to buy
Marian - you sound good. I also had supraclavicular radiation and was told that if during the mapping there was indication that the thyroid might be in the field they would ask you to turn your head which moves the thyroid. I was told that for me it wasn't needed, thyroid not in field
Adagio and Schatzi - my comment re: chemo definitely had nothing to do with what the chemo did to me and it more pertains to going now for the every three week for a year Herceptin infusions. It has become routine, I ma known and treated like a friend and not a patient, I have a port which has behaved beautifully. Our chemo area is a very bright and friendly place with lots of very wonderful caregivers (angels). The side effects of the Herceptin are much easier than the other chemo. This all makes such a difference in the experience.
Lostinmo - in your pockets today
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Omg ladies....you have all been sooooo busy, so much to catch up on. Happy belated b'day believe, I hope u had a great day. Chrisrenee your family are so supportive and ur nephew and niece brought a real tear to my eye, I hope all goes well over weekend and he gets home monday. MCook, happy days....no more drips!!! !Yipeee...bet ur out having a wine or two celebrating.:) you have shamed me.....and I have signed up for the dublin mini marathon on june 3rd!!! Will defo stop the beer and get on threadmill soon:) I wont make iowa this time as I need time off for op in june and hope to get kids away to spain in august.....but I am defo up for a skype and a trip to New York when ive worked up some hols!!! Thanks for checking in with me scottie, you were right so much has happened....dont we live interesting.lives. Tell ur brother that the mountain biking is opening soon in rostrevor with world class tracks.....apparantly.
I've seen a few bikers starting to arrive!!!! Like a few others...I hated chemo....the nurses (well one...who butchered my arm because she couldnt get the port in!!!), but I loved the rads team....I often meet one on the dancing circuit (my gal does irish dancing!). He is a rival teacher and everytime I meet him I start taking my shirt off!!! Like u luanne im excited for you all and babbled to my dh tonite about all you ladies
...he knows I have been kept sane and positive by you all but I dont think he realised (until tonite) just how important you all were in getting me through some dark nites and days. Shari hope u are getting through it. Goodluck with the house hunting janeau. Sorry if I have missed out anyone...but this has been an epic catch up! Love you all.xx0 -
All clear, come back in 3 months!!!!
Believe-I think Gemworld closed on the 15th or so and will reopen in Sept or Oct. The life and times of Quartzsite. lol
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Lostimo - great news! I can feel your sign of relief. After about two 3 month appts. I got switched to every 4 months. Hoping for every 6 months in the future. Disappointed about Gemworld. What are they thinking!
Ireland - glad you checked in! We were buzzing about you. You were missed. Any news on your business. Do you have a name for it?
Juneau - good luck on your offer! If it is meant to be, it will come together.
Ramon's - how many cute saying do you have in store for us- loved running kicks!
Tazzy - can't believe you are excited about 21 degrees. At least it's sunny. We are in Monterey - it's 61 high and we brought winter clothes. You are probably laughing!
Is today weigh in day? If so I'm stuck at 159. My DH is ready for a walk, so I'd better go....
Mcook - yeah! Can you hear me cheering from CA?0 -
Believe-I tried to talk mine into going longer in between but he said every 3 months for the rest of the year, then we will move to every 4 months. Big jump. LOL And almost everything closes in Quartzsite for the summer, too hot for anyone to stop.
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Believe; LOL... Thats 21 Celsius... Or 72 F.
Ireland; nice to see you!!!
Lostinmo; YAY!!!!
OK so the house hunt continues... Too many little things to fix, and we just don't have the funds to cover then with the price point the house is in.
OK sleepy time.0 -
Celsius - now that is funny. I couldn't get over anyone being excited about 21 degrees, I even told my DH. Thanks Juneau for straightening me out, that never crossed my mind, duh.
Question for all our Canadian friends. Do you speak French or English as your primary language? Just wondering. You are all such good writers.
Lostimo - When we meet in the future, I will tell you about our drive to Quartzsite and not knowing there was an interstate 95 in Arizona as well as Nevada.
Jennie - I asked about a shield during rads too, like when a dentist takes x rays. The tech I asked said the radiation was so strong, that a shield wouldn't work. I took her word for it too. I already only have one thyroid and no problem since rads.
Shari - hope you had a good week. Check in when you can.0
