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  • Joanne_53
    Joanne_53 Member Posts: 714
    edited January 2013

    Scottiee, you know I am there .... Everything is going to be alright.

  • Tazzy
    Tazzy Member Posts: 1,442
    edited January 2013

    Scottie - open your pocket honey - there right with you.  You will be OK.  

    Juneau - how dare those emotions raise their ugly head again - only to be expected eh?

    I think we all need a

    Not sure if I will be able to afford/get time to travel to see you... but never say never eh?

    Saw my genetic counsellor today and had blood test - results in it see if I carry the BRCA1/2 gene.  Results in approx 6 months so pushing it to the back of my mind.

  • Tazzy
    Tazzy Member Posts: 1,442
    edited January 2013

    Oh! I love curry.  

  • websister
    websister Member Posts: 405
    edited January 2013

    Juneau - your appointment will be over by now by I related so much. When I went for my Herceptin infusion last Thursday I was feeling like I was going to cry several times. Same chair, same staff - somehow didn't feel that I was 'done' with chemo and moving on.

    Re: Albany - I think I could make it work if others were willing to help with rides out to the retreat area. No alcohol would not be a deal breaker for me. I would prefer not having it the weekend of April 19th as I have Herceptin on the 18th and find I do have some side effects from it but if that date worked best for others I'm OK.

    Thank you so much for taking all of this on, it is appreciated.

    Re: diet/weight - you might want to ask to have thyroid levels done, I think that when one group of hormones is messed with it impacts others.

    I do think that having the protein in the a.m. within an hour of waking up helps to kickstart the metabolism, I think as Liefie said that the exercise helps us to feel better. I do find that vitamin D is very helpful regarding weight and mood, my level was low even when taking 2000 units per day so it is good to have your levels checked and take accordingly.

    Keeping the glycemic index lower helps - I have an orange or pieces of grapefruit/grapefruit juice prior to eating a meal, it is supposed to help do this.

    Once a week my husband and I allow ourselves a cheat day, in this way we only have to make it 6 days on the diet and then we can have something we want like a reeally good piece of cheesecake. It somehow helps with the way our minds think, if we tell ourselves we can never have something again, we feel deprived and if we succumb to temptation

    we feel depressed. If we tell ourselves not today but in 4 days we will have something then it helps to stay good that day and then when we do cheat we don't feel we 'blew it' but that it is part of the plan. A cheat day also helps the body not to lower the metabolism as the increase in calories tells it that it is not starving and therefore does not need to slow down the metabolism to compensate.

    I only weigh myself once a week and as others have said, muscle does weigh more than fat, the scale is only one tool in measuring progress - a tape measure, how clothes are fitting, the mirror can be other tools.

    Tazzy - you will have to give an update on the genetics appointment, that is still in my future.

    Take care everyone

  • luvmygoats
    luvmygoats Member Posts: 2,484
    edited January 2013

    Scottiee - Will be with you tomorrow. I remember my first followup. It was not as bad as I expected. I have my 2nd one on Monday so will need my buds with me then.

    Juneau - I can drive by the corner where my BS is and get teary. Emotions are very hard to predict and control esp. with the meds we take that mess to all hell with our hormones. I bet it would not be the 1st time your BS has seen that.  How were your results?  Love ya girl.

    Tazzy - 6 months for your BRCA results? Dang girl, is there no sense of urgency to get results?

    Marcie - I read the "I look for other flat chested women" thread because I don't think I would undergo recon. if it came to that. Can you wear it for increasing length of time during this week? I'm sorry you're having to feel more stress from this shi**y disease.

    Pouring rain here. We haven't had this much rain I don't think since last spring. Hoping for a good hay crop for the goats. Weather hedging we might have ice or something Sunday or next Tuesday.

  • ramols
    ramols Member Posts: 310
    edited January 2013

    Been following you all just not posting. Exchange surgery turned into a bit of an ordeal and inpatient stay since I struggled to come out of anesthesia. Ok now. Just tired and have a spreadsheet full of f/u appts. Knocked me down some emotionally too. Getting better but have my moments. Just so tired of this f'ing journey. And while I've come really far in it - feels like I still have a long way to go... And feeling sorry for myself a bit. 37 years old and I have fake boobs I didn't really ask for, no nipples, constant fear of lymphedema, hot flashes, unclear understanding of my fertility and menopause status, a bald head with weird white fuzz coming in, very thin eyebrows and eyelashes, and now this f'ing fear of heart and stroke concerns thanks to this last surgery. Sigh... Did I leave anything out? ;-) ok... Enough woe is me. I feel better now. Monster hugs to all of you - especially those stressing appta

  • cowpower
    cowpower Member Posts: 91
    edited January 2013

    Scottie, right there with you! Mine has been moved until 2/8 with bs appt 2/11. I will be thinking of you all day. I hope it is not uncomfortable for you. (((Hugs)))



    Marcy, the silicone falsie sure can weigh heavy on the soul as well as the shoulder. I got mine in June and am still searching for the bra that will make my skin comfortable. So sorry you are having a bad day. (((Hugs))) to you too.

  • cowpower
    cowpower Member Posts: 91
    edited January 2013

    Ramols, glad to see you up and around. Sorry you have so many friggin followups. I had to do a boatload of cardiac stuff after a Summer incident with taxotere. Doesnt it make you feel like a science experiment?



    Websister, as longg as the first week of April is not the trip, I would be happy to get you in Albany.

  • Scottiee1
    Scottiee1 Member Posts: 1,790
    edited January 2013

    Juneau.....I live around the corner from my clinic, same place where the BS (comes there once a week) told me, yes, I'm sorry to tell you have C!!!!!! I go to this clinic for everything . I remember my GP had me see a Dermatologist there for my hair thinning.

    Guess what????her office was right across from the BS's and as the Dermatologist was talking to me, I started to tear up and asked her to close the door, and explained why.

    Yes this BC emotional stuff gets us sometimes, but the human mind is strong .....I pass my clinic either walking or driving, and it has gotten easier .....you know what they say...

    practice makes perfect. What I'm trying to say, and not making a very good job of it,

    forgive me, is that the farther we get from our dx, the stronger emotional and physically

    we will become.

  • 301724
    301724 Member Posts: 185
    edited January 2013

    Scottiee and Luvmygoats.....the gals on the August 2012 board (those of us who had surgery then) talk about wearing clothes with 'big pockets' when you go for treatment of any kind and for which you need support. The big pockets are so that the rest of us can jump in there to keep you company and let you know you're being surrounded with healing thoughts and care. Please know that I'll be 'in your pocket' as you face whatever is ahead.

  • Scottiee1
    Scottiee1 Member Posts: 1,790
    edited January 2013

    Thank you ladies.....you're the best!!!!....

  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 761
    edited January 2013

    Dear Ramols,

    You really have had your fair share of trouble, haven't you? I have always been amazed at your positive attitude, the way you handled this whole ordeal, trying to find something to be happy about every day. It can't be easy with small children, and I admire you for hanging in there. Breast cancer is a disease like no other. It takes away so much from us over such a long period of time. This morning it was driven home to me unexpectedly when I saw the other women with their healthy breasts showering after our aquafit class. I quickly put on my clothes and went home. My hair has grown back, but it is an unruly mop of very curly grey hair which I don't really know what to do with; it is still weird to look in the mirror and see myself so changed. My toenails are still falling off eight months after chemo. My eyebrows will probably never be the same again. It is so human to feel sorry for ourselves now and then, and to want this to just be over so we can get back the lives we had before. I also have another surgery looming in April or May, and I'm not looking forward to it at all. I hear you, and I understand exactly how you feel. Big hugs to you, and I wish you a speedy and complete recovery.

  • mcook301
    mcook301 Member Posts: 314
    edited January 2013

    Juneau - hugs ! I think it is ok to cry because we hold that shit it at work and every where else! Look at what you have done! You have been through so much and you still are! Try not to hate yourself you should be proud even with a few pounds. You have just done more challenges than most people will do in a life time! You have kept us laughing, gave us support and shared your experiences with all of us when we needed it. Remember to be kind to yourself when you can :) you deserve it dam it! You are a fighter! You stayed sober as well! You got this girl and are pretty dam tough!



    Dam hot flashes and hormones it is so unfair!



  • mcook301
    mcook301 Member Posts: 314
    edited January 2013

    Geez all of us seem to be having a challenging days!



    My cousin who had BC told me once people will move on faster than you. I didn't understand at the time but I do now. We get our hair back so start to not look like cancer patients but no one except all of us can understand that does not mean our journey is over. Each day we struggle with another surgery, another treatment, SE etc. We got through a year of constant treatments and for me it seems like I know hqve time to slow down to really stop and think about all what I had just been through. Holy shit I have cancer! Or had, what ever way you want to put it. But even on my shity shity days one thing I remember is that I have heard and read each one of your experiences and I know I am not alone. I just didn't expect the after effects of this dam diease and that was one thing my docs did not share ...mmmm wonder why:)



    Call my PS today to see if I can still have exchange surgery on 31st due to my shoulder and she said I should wait...big fucking disappointment! Meet w her Friday after my scans and other doc appoints so wish me luck.



    Other than that I am proud I stuck to my good eating habits today. Made scallops and had a salad for dinner. Check!



    Another positive - I have to travel also next week to meet with some legislators I have work with and this will be the first time I have seen this group since BC so hope they remember me. hell at least I get to travel! It is just a "thank you for your support meeting" so no stress :)



    Oh and by the way I am not really that bad of a writer but I hate typing on my iPad and trying to correct it:) so try and decipher at time sorry

  • ramols
    ramols Member Posts: 310
    edited January 2013

    Thanks so much lifie and others. Feels so good to let it out here and get support beyond my hubby (as wonderful as he is) giving me a cheerleading speech to keep going. Sometimes I don't want a pep rally, rather I want an empathetic hug. But I think the only true empahty can come from others who have gone or are going through the journey. So thanks! And now that I'm back to myself a bit - add me to the list of cheerleaders for you weight loss gals! Love ya all!

  • Scottiee1
    Scottiee1 Member Posts: 1,790
    edited January 2013

    Mcook....so sorry about your delay in surgery....that sucks!!!! 😠



    Wishing you all the best on Friday with your PS. 😘

  • juneaubugg
    juneaubugg Member Posts: 517
    edited January 2013



    Here was a response from pumpkin hollow:



    The only real “not an option’ is the wine or alcohol---did you see that we are completely vegetarian also??

    There are local places for people so go to for a drink or socializing in that fashion. Other groups have questioned this and those that decide to come are always grateful for the healing energies and the warmth of the people on staff---and the great food.



    Yes there are openings in april---and the # estimated are the top //maximum possible---so for april is a good # but not 31-59----warmer season we can have up to 60!

    Flying into Albany is the closest altho springfield Hartford is possible also---connections thru NY are cheaper flights but much more time getting into city and travel by train.

  • Scottiee1
    Scottiee1 Member Posts: 1,790
    edited January 2013

    Ramols....sending you healing hugs. You certainly have been through a lot, and Liefie is right, your attitude is amazing. You put me to shame....Hang in there.

  • ramols
    ramols Member Posts: 310
    edited January 2013

    juneau - thanks for doing all the research on this. What are folks thinking - a saturday through sunday?

  • ramols
    ramols Member Posts: 310
    edited January 2013

    thanks scottiee - in your pockets!

    mcook - bummer about the surgery... in your pockets on friday!

  • aruba
    aruba Member Posts: 276
    edited January 2013

    Everyone going to appts, awaiting results, fighting SEs and needing those full pockets...room for all of us to be there with you!  Hugs!

  • Tazzy
    Tazzy Member Posts: 1,442
    edited January 2013

    Well seems that the moon and stars didn't do much aligning for us today - hate to hear that some are having crappy time with appointments and others with emotions - fucking bc... enough eh? 

    So my genetic testing was done today, simple blood test - only six months to wait for the results ?!  WTF ?

    Healing and comforting hugs to us all xxx

    Tomorrow is another day - surely things will be more aligned then ??

  • Chrisrenee77
    Chrisrenee77 Member Posts: 693
    edited January 2013

    Wow just read through 2 1/2 pages, I am so far behind! First off Tazzy,Websister, Juneau, thank you regarding the picture. I thought it was pretty good myself too.

    Scottie will be thinking about you at your appt. Keep us posted!

    Ramols- so glad you are home and feeling somewhat better. Keep up with those f/u appts and keep us posted.

    Juneau- I cry when I look at other women and see their "perfect" boobs. It's perfectly fine to be upset over seeing the Dr or driving by their building. I get really upset seeing my reflection in the mirror. In my head I still see my old saggy boobs with stretch marks, but the mirror is showing me a boob with an incision on it. That upsets me!

    Mcook- will be thinking of you too at your appt as well. Again keep us posted!

    Aruba- love the pocket! Count me as being in there too.

    Believe- you would not believe how many compliments I got today on bracelet. Everyone loved it.

    I have been on bitch already today. Came home and that was the first thing I did was get on it. I walked for 17 min and walked 1/2 a mile. I didn't realize how out of shape I am until now. I have a friend that I was talking to about our challenge she told me she would help me, she came back 2 hrs later with a 6 week program starting off walking 1 mile the first week and by the 6th week walking 2 miles and lifting weights 2 times a week. I may regret this, either that or I'm going to die!!!

  • marianelizabeth
    marianelizabeth Member Posts: 1,156
    edited January 2013

    Scottiee, I am going to be holding your hand - what time is your appt?

    XXOO Marian

  • Scottiee1
    Scottiee1 Member Posts: 1,790
    edited January 2013

    Thank you Marian....3:30.....BTW gals.....drinks are on me afterwards.....💃

  • cowpower
    cowpower Member Posts: 91
    edited January 2013

    Scottie, I will be in a meeting at 3:30, but concentrating on you! Drinks at 5:00?



    Chrisrenee, you are amazingto stick with the bitch. Watch out, you may grow to love her!



    Tazzy, so long for genetic tests? You would think they could make you a clone in that amount of time:)

  • schatzi14
    schatzi14 Member Posts: 906
    edited January 2013

    Scottiee...I'm with ya girl...it will be fine. On both counts...painwise and results too Laughing

  • gmafoley
    gmafoley Member Posts: 5,978
    edited January 2013

    Scottie - I just had a mammo too - I had another surgery on the bad one 2 months ago - got my Tylenol #3s out and went for it... A few minutes of "OUCH" but from what I here, its easier than a breast MRI... *HUGS* 

    BTW I'm new to this thread, but when the tech came out and said the radiologist will see me "NEXT YEAR", it was time to think about moving on... I am dealing with truncal/upper arm LE (due to rads of the lymph) and sleep apnea (reappeared after dx) but I am alive, kicking, and cancer free at the moment.  I get to enjoy the grandkids a little longer.... Thank You Lord...

    Is it ok that I join you all as a 2013 Survivor?

  • 301724
    301724 Member Posts: 185
    edited January 2013

    Hey GmaFoley - it's great to see you here! Of course you're a survivor!

  • Chrisrenee77
    Chrisrenee77 Member Posts: 693
    edited January 2013

    Gmafoley- of COURSE you can call yourself a survivor! We have all survived the dx, survived the surgery, survived treatments! If that's not what a survivor is then I don't know what is. So welcome to the survivor club, first rule of survivor club you celebrate it. Made my own spin off of Fight Club the movie haha.



    Scottie- Thinking of you! Since drinks are on you I will take the biggest margarita available! Hehe

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