2013 Sister Warriors
Comments
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Maak: Hi. NOT all BC patients need or are recommended to be on Tamoxifen/hormone therapy--espec. those of us with an excellent general prognosis. We can "consider taking hormone therapy"...according to the Guidelines. Sometimes it's weighing Quality of Life vs. Side Effects/RISKS of taking Tamoxifen, etc.
I just got a 2nd opinion Breast Oncologist appoint. TODAY. Will explain later--must go to BED/Exchange Surgery in morn.! BUT, I AM getting my Onco Type tested just for good measure..;) Doc. said I'm in no rush to decide...;)
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Hi Violet, good luck tomorrow with your surgery!
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Hi Warriors!
Renee - yeah, exchange date and new bra:) ooo whoo
Maakmezorgen - ask ask ask...does seem odd ER / PR+ would not get HT tx. Make sure you are satisfied with your tx plan.
Soteria205 - trusting scans will be good on 31:)
Mshelton - Austin TX Ooo whoo! I'm in Horseshoe Bay Lake LBJ...welcomed home by a big TX thunderstorm
. Full moon this weekend so Warburg dance fun and Inks Lake for kayaking under the stars...life is a hoot! Gonna go easy on the arm and chick fillet supporting the girl:). BBQ not so sure doing more vega now... Sending calm confident thoughts for your bmx next week. My GF had hers done at St. David's last yr...they look great!
Sending confident thoughts and prayers for OK:)
(((Hugs)))
Cindy0 -
I was diagnosed with IDC and DCIS in February, 2013 and had a Mastectomy in March, 2013. It's been a rollercoaster every since. My life has been totally disrupted and I haven't worked since. I teach high school and now am in the process of the reconstruction. When I am out, I just feel different from others. Sometimes I get so depressed, although I realized it was caught at an early stage. I live alone and often find myself isolating myself and not wanting to mix with others. Coming on this site and reading other's help me to stay connected. It helps me to see that I am not alone. A new Sister Warrior.
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Dwilli4483 -- welcome to the group! BC is definitely a rollercoaster (I've always hated rollercoasters), but we're all along in the ride with you. It's definitely fair to allow yourself some time to be depressed, but always remember to come out of that and enjoy some of the things you used to before BC. Remember you are not alone in this! Hugs!
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Glad you found us Dwilli. You don't have to go through this alone. I'm right there with the reconstruction process--some way to start the summer, huh?!
When you say you are feeling different than others--are you talking about physically, or this is something that you are feeling on an emotional level (you're going through something traumat that others don't know/don't have a clue about)?
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Welcome Dwilli4483!
Glad you found this fierce band of warriors:) sorry you've been going it alone:(.
Yeah, 2013 has not been what any of us expected, but pressing forward each tx step at a time. Your exchange will be soon:)
I've had the luxury of other sisters going ahead of me which reassures me that I will overcome this and I'm so thankful Dr found c early.
Teaching HS whoa...not sure if your students know, but am sure they luv you dearly and your a great role model for them. Gotta luv your smile!
Sending strong confident healing thoughts your way (((hugs)))
Cindy0 -
Hi Dwilli- you are not alone. We understand and are here to support you. I'm sending you a virtual hug right now! This whole breast cancer experience did make me feel different and I avoided going out much for some time particularly after I lost my hair with the chemo. I just couldn't hide your diagnosis after that. I know people look at me when I'm out and about with my head cover on, but I've gained confidence in going out over time. I'm glad you found us here. This is a warm and safe place to talk about how you feel and how this has affected you. I, for one, am grateful for the many times my fellow Warrior Sisters have let me vent, acknowledged my feelings, shared their own and given me miles of support when I was feeling down. We will get through this, we will feel normal again, we will be survivors- count on it!
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RMlulu--You're not far from where I am. Welcome back to Texas. Just took some Oregon friends for some good ole Texas barbeque at the County Line yesterday. I was just researching those Seahawks inflatable kayaks to take in the RV a big summer retreat from the heat of Texas when I got my diagnosis. Will just put on the back burner until I get over this bump in the road. Kayaking under the moon light and stars sounds like a great way to spend time.
Dewilli--it is a shock and trauma; and will naturally need adjustment time. I bet every day when you are out and about, there are other women around you that are dealing with or have dealt with breast cancer as it is so very common. There are thousands upon thousands of other women and men holding their hands out in support. Congrats on your good results with catching it early. I hope my results are as good. This site has been a great resource and support.
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Hi All, I was diagnosed with IDC, stage IIA, with lymph node positive yesterday. Everything is so surreal. I am a teacher and can't seem to focus on the papers to grade and lesson plans I have to turn in. They told me that they will schedule a CT and other appointments for me and will call Tuesday. I'm starting to get a bit overwhelmed with it all as it is the end of the school year and there is too much to do! I feel alone and remorseful because my mother had metastatic BC and I had no idea what she was going through. She died 12 years ago on Monday. My father-in-law was diagnosed with lung cancer with lymph node involvement yesterday as well. (They don't know about my BC.) My husband isn't dealing with it all very well. My children, ages 35-19, are running a variety of emotions and are quietly staying away from me. Will everyone around me continue to be so weird? Or will they stop avoiding me? Thanks for being here and listening.
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Sgc728 - Welcome! So glad you found this strong band of warriors, but so sorry you must. Cancer such a hard dx to hear...ugh:(. Sorry that you and your family have been impacted by c before. And family is having a difficult time with your dx. Medicine is improving everyday and that is too our advantage:)
There is a great book called The Breast Cancer Husband it is recommended on this site which I found most helpful...a good read and helped me express to hubby and family just what was happening.
Your family and friends will follow your lead. It takes time...we're all so different. But family will rally...having a plan of attack helps. And let them know...when they ask and they will ask...how they may help in that plan. You will be overwhelmed by the blessings received:)
Focusing on today...keeping things 'normal' yes it is a 'new normal' and making moments with each member to give them the time to share feelings helps. And share yours...cry, scream, rant, laugh...luv:))). You are going to kick c to the curb...
Stand strong brave warrior!
(((Hugs)))
Cindy0 -
Sgc~~Don't be afraid to tell family or friends what you need from them.
When I was diagnosed, my younger sister, Jan, who I'm very close to, and lives in the same sub-division I do told me, " I don't think I can do this." I told her that she is stronger than she thinks and that I needed her on my Support Team. It completely changed her outlook. She started calling or texting just to see how I was feeling. She was my confidante, that I could share all the grizzly details with. ( I even showed her my mx scar that my husband hasn't seen yet. She took me to scans, and to all my chemo appts until she started a new job.
Your kids are frightened. They probably aren't sure what to do or say. They may be afraid to ask about the BC for fear of seeing you cry.
Tell them how you feel. Tell them what you need from them.
It's great to have a family member or friend with you for chemo. It's awesome when you're so fatigued from chemo and someone cleans your house, does the laundry, or prepares a meal. It lifts your spirit when someone calls to ask after you, sends you a card, or tells you they're praying for you.
Don't think it strange if they aren't sure how to react. This is a shock to them too.
Blessings
Paula0 -
So well said, Paula. Our diagnosis affects our family and friends, too. I am a very independent person and was not used to asking for or accepting help. I found that asking for and accepting help, not only helped me cope, but helped my family and friend cope too.
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Thank you so much for your encouraging words this morning! Soteria you were so right about my family. The girls came by and we enjoyed each others company and laughed about some memories until we couldn't laugh any more! RMlulu I have already bought the book you suggested and have read enough to know it will really help my husband. TMM I too am a very independent person and have been thinking about ways I can bring myself to ask for help. You all will never know how much I appreciate your responses.
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I agree about the difficulty of asking for help. I'm use to giving help not receiving it. A good friend suggested Caringbridge.org. I signed up (i'm having surgery on tuesday) so my family and friends can keep up with what is going on. It also has a "support planner". I havn't explored this section much, but my friend thought it would help. If there is a "need" , then someone on your list will volunteer for that task. It could keep some caregivers from having to assume the majority of the care, allow your friends to know how they can help, and let them pick what they can comfortably provide-- from providing a ride, picking up something, bringing food for the day, daily chores, support for children or whatever. Maybe someone with more exerience with this can provide better information.
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I suggest finding someone to be your champion--to manage a sign up help/support group (I used http://www.lotsahelpinghands.com/) That way, when people offer to help, you have someone and somewhere to direct them. People want to help. People want this situation to go away, and there's not much they can do but prepare a meal, give you a ride, etc. So give them the opportunity to be of help.
This is a surrreal situation, and the time leading up to settling on and starting a treatment plan is the hardest part for most. It's a lot to take in. I did a lot of reading about BC, treatments, trying to understand prognosis, etc. This site and the discussion board are great resources. Not something any one of us would have like to taken on, but we're getting through this.
And yes, people will continue to be weird--family and friends. (It's a weird, and scary situation.) Most rise to the occasion; some get too scared and pull away. But, you can't control other people. And, you need to put yourself first, and not be bogged down by meeting others' needs. You've got to give yourself permission to do that. And let others do for you. And be specific about how they can help.
Being a sister warrior is not about being strong, or fearless. It's doing what we must do to get through this.
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mshelton - enjoy the long holiday weekend! Warm balmy TX days ...with scattered showers...yum county line BBQ! Getting back to home routine, feels good:).
Sending confident thoughts for successful procedure and speedy recovery. Say yes to help...have a few pockets for those drains...zip or button tops are great! In your pocket:)
You will do well warrior!
(((Hugs)))
Cindy0 -
To our newest members, I am so sorry you have joined out team. This board has been so helpful for me, even when I did not have time to write - I tried to check it a couple of times a week. I too, am a high school teacher, I told my students once I knew what was happening - not while I was doing all the waiting - that is most certainly the hardest time - I just could not share that with them. Their reactions were different in each class. They never treated me any differently - I only miss 4 full days of school for the surgery, I tried to schedule appts so I would either miss the morning or afternoon classes - and then flip it for the next appt. I was even able to teach throughout my radiation treatments - I was lucky - I only had to have 19 of those. I found for me the more I talked about it the better I dealt with the next issue. Now that I am several months past surgery and a month out of radiation and the only new medicial thing for me know is the hormore blocking drugs - I am treated like I never missed a beat. It's been a stressful semester - but the students and my co-workers were there when I needed them. I wish you the best as you keep up the fight. Sgc728 I am also in Va - had my surgery at Uva and was able to radiation a little closer to home so that made life so much easier for me. Take care to all and keep up the good fight!
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Hi everyone. Just checking in. I started neoadjuvant chemo of AC on the 16th. It's been a rough first infusion but I'm finally a little better. Boy this stuff is not fun !
Go I hope your surgery went well!0 -
MShelton - best wishes tomorrow! You are in my prayers for as easy surgery as possible and a speedy recovery.
JPH - thanks for your words of encouragement! I am in awe of your resiliency! I've already missed three days and will miss another shortly. This coming week will be fairly tame with SOL tests. We are on a 4x4 schedule so missing half days is difficult for getting a sub, but I will surely try!
Thank you all for your posts. You help me feel so not alone.0 -
Positive thoughts for mshelton's surgery today!
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Good luck! The school year will soon be done. If you need a distraction, I would love to chat with you about your school schedule, we have been on the 4 x 4 for over 15 years, new super has come in wants to run a hybrid! At least it gives me something to think about other than what the drugs are doing to my bones!!!
Take care.Jayne
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We are in the middle of Sol's. it drives me crazy to "patrol" the room for 2+ hours. We are also on the 4x4 schedule. I wish we could go on an A/B schedule! I just don't see the carryover when they wait a year for the next level class. It does give them many opportunities to take or retake classes! So what is the hybrid?
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Hi Sister Warriors, it is a roller coaster ride and I am slowly chugging along. My pathology report came back and all I was given was a list of appointments with various doctors (1 radio oncologist and 1 chemo oncologist), and a date to have too many tests (blood work, chest X-ray, total body scan, CT of chest abdomen, and pelvis, and an MRI of my breast). No one would tell me anything, other than I had BC (already knew that). I was informed that I could see the pathology report when I see the Radio oncologist. Is there any reason why I wasn't told by my breast specialist? I feel like something is being kept from me, and it is driving me crazy!
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Sgc~~You have every right to have ALL your questions answered! Be assertive. We have to be our own advocates. They owe you an explanation of all your tests, treatments, etc. if you don't get it from them, INSIST! Report them if you must.
Paula0 -
Thanks for responding so quickly Sol. I'm pretty upset with the nurse's response. I had been told that the doctor would call me with the results! Doesn't make someone who likes to know, like yesterday, feel very confident or important. Another four days until I see the radio oncologist. Another agonizing four days. Now, I am afraid what the news will be. The whole issue makes me feel like it's bad news. I'm a pretty upbeat kind of person, but this, as my students would say, sucks! Thanks for listening, Susan
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Hi Sgc728 -
Please request a copy of your path report for your records. I'm surprise that your BS did not give you a prelim copy prior to surgery & after surgery when BS had the final with margins and node data. You need copy for your records demand it! Go in Monday...call so they have it ready for you.
When you go for testing request a copy of each test mailed directly to you. If you have not started a folder with all your records do:).
Days Earlier you posted that you were dx IDC Stage 2 with lymph node involvement did you receive path report at that time? If not insist, you have the right to know and need for your records. Wish today was not late Friday, but Monday sharp jump on it.
Hope your family is handling dx better:). Hubby doing better...it is such a shock to all. As you have time update your profile here...will help other warriors know how to help reach out to you.
We are in your pocket...stand strong warrior!
Sending calm confident thoughts (((hugs)))
Cindy0 -
Cindy you are a true warrior friend. Maybe I miss lead you? I only had the biopsies and it was then she gave me the information. I haven't spoke to her since. I have an appt. to meet with her, bringing anyone who is interested or has questions, with me on June 12th. My kids are trying to come and my husband will come with me. The kids are doing ok, the husband not so much. He refuses to deal with it, so he just loses sleep over it. My son is going to the hospital with me on Monday! He's a great guy. My husband is babysitting two other grandchildren on Monday so he can't make it and frankly, he didn't seem like he wanted to. Does everyone have all these tests? Denial is such a nice place to be, too bad I can't join him!
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Sgc728 - each Dr and center is different.
My hubby and I share surgeons...he has 1 brother I have the other they are excellent. His tests everything to the moon and back...BC&medicare. My BC makes it a bit more difficult and so just MRI...so who knows.
Glad that your son is going with you...great question on this site to use.
Hubby may be in shock...he'll step up when the time comes.
Rest and keep your mind focus on today! Don't get ahead of yourself...only need to walk that path once...so enjoy your weekend.
Praying peace in your mind heart and soul:)
Cindy0 -
RMlulu, thanks for the information. Calmed my head down and I thank you for that! I will try and take your advice and live in today. Not an easy task as I am the planner of all planners, but who said success will come easy? Thanks again for easing my mind, Susan
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