new and future flat sister, with questions
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Togetherness, I'm sorry your implants didn't work out, from what I am recently understanding is that many women are having this problem... I hadn't realized this before... emotionally I would imagine this is devastating. As far as prosthesis, there are way more qualified women on this board to help you with that. I am 8 months out and have not even bothered to schedule a fitting yet... since I only had one side removed.. I wear a knitted or microfoam foob at work and nothing when I am home.
lol M... the eye sounds worse looking now than it did when it was red.. but at least it is going through the healing stages. I am glad you survived you and Dex survived your reverse ramp trip without any injury... sheesh... you are always getting yourself into some sort of trouble.. aren't you!!! Dex was probably wondering wth you were doing.. probably thought Mommy list her mind lol.
Holy crap Viv, that was some infection.
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Page change!!
Viv, I can relate to the heavy periods.. for the last two years prior to BC... I had the worst ones ever.. I had to wear overnight maxi pads for 2 days straight and still needed to change them every hour. It was simply horrible, my bed would look like somebody was stabbed in it (sorry if TMI) Luckily since chemo, I haven't had my "friend" back. I bitched about it for 2 years and my Dr. never mentioned that procedure.. just stuck me on iron because I was anemic. Sounds really interesting.. but I have to say that device looks a bit scary!!!!0 -
Viv. My BF had an abulasion. Said it was the best thing ever. I think she had it on Friday and was back to work as a maintenance man on Monday. Some cramping but hopefully less than what you have monthly. Still have some good pain pills from surgery?
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Yes the infection frightened me to death. I began to feel extremely unwell on a Sunday evening and began vomiting and high temp etc. I went for the whole night not calling anyone because I felt so ill, I just couldn't move. My boys were horrified when they saw me the next day and went off to school with an ambulance crew tending to me. Was one of the most awful days of my life. I have never ever felt so ill, not far away from going into septic shock! Just awful so I feel everyone's pain, I really do!
I hope the ablasion works. I've booked a week off work just in case, I'm not the luckiest of people when having these procedures. Fingers crossed my veins pop up that day! I could only have drips in my feet last time
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Oh, Togetherness, I am so terribly sorry to hear that this has happened to you too. I wish you all the very best for Tuesday, and hope you 'll let us know how you're doing.
Both Bobo and Viv have had similar experiences with recon. It seems to be such a hit and miss procedure, with far more failures than the PS seem to report.
I am a Uni, like the others, never considered recon either, and fortunately haven't had any regrets. I can't speak to any of your questions about post surgery either.
I've spoken with Sunflowers too, as Wren said, she is another who was forced to have her implants removed, but she has reported very positive results and may be a good person for you to contact by PM.
It is obviously different for those of us who have only one breast, Boobs, Foobs and Prosthesis become a part of life, but I have my "free" days where I'll wear a firm fitting shape wear tank to contain my other "D" cup, a shirt over that, and no one notices. I am at the point now, that I couldn't care less if they do. In the beginning I was a bit self conscious, just because it was so new, and I was obsessed with finding the right clothing etc to avoid the one thing that still irks me, the "Fall Forward" that is when to have heavy silicone prosthesis and you lean forward. They fall forward in the bra and expose the empty space on your chest. The right neckline, a contact Prosthesis, or a lighter weight foob fixes that.
I am 1 year out from Surgery, and have researched, bought, played around with, and test driven, every type of fake boob I can lay my hands on. I firmly believe that there is no, "perfect", "every day" boob. There will always be different weights and types for different clothing, casual or dressy, different necklines, or fabrics. There are also quite a few actual Mastectomy pieces of clothing that have pockets in them, like my favorite the Valletta Camisole and T Shirt by Amoena, They have a purpose built bra inside that take whatever Prosthesis you like.
There are so many options out there, a little experimentation will get you on track. ndgirl, is another here, like me, who has to have a range of options. Feel free to ask any questions, we are all happy to help, if we can.
I never thought I would actually get to the point that I'd actually forget that I am wearing a false boob on one side, but I am happy to say that I am there now. I still have the lack of sensation and a few "zingers" and the phantom itch, but it truly feels quite natural to me now.
All the best, gentle hugs. M x
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Viv, I wish you all the best for that procedure too. That infection sounds awful. My Mother had a massive infection after her radical Mx in '94.I thought I'd lose both my parents in the same year. My Dad had just passed away 4 months before my Mother was Dx. We had a nurse coming for a week to express the junk from the incision, and the lymph fluid flowed out for ages. I was beside myself, but she was amazing!
I was terrified that I may have the same fate, so when I started to show signs of infection after my Mx, I freaked out. Fortunately, my surgeon had given me his cell number because I was recuperating over the Christmas break, and Colin and I drove the hour and a bit in 43c heat to meet him at the office. I got over it fast, so not an issue.
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Viv and Togetherness, hope things go in the right direction for you both. I too was so afraid of infection as my Mom had it too and I remember having to keep open the hole under her arm so it could drain... and the awful gunk that is expelled was terrible, she was so worried that it was setting her back from moving on to radiation. However back in those days she was in hospital some of the time too. Best wishes for everything ahead of you.
Spookiesmom, another friend that has attended the strawberry festival sure agreed with you on the tasteless strawberries. I know there is nothing like fresh grown produce. She said alot of them were grown in baskets, etc. I get my strawberries in Canada and they are fresh from the farm and the best and i know not a bunch of chemicals sprayed on them either. I dont grow them, they are alot of work and I have places to get them fresh as well as raspberries. My son is in Florida right now and he says it is cold!! but still better than Wisconsin.
Well Ariom, I am starting to pack for my trip to San Diego, of course I will pack and unpack several times. This is my first trip away for more than 4 days, and am wondering how many fooobs should i take with
? decisions, decisions, probably not easy to pack either and wont take their carrying cases. I am thinking just one extra to many have for lounging in mornings for coffee. I recently or should i say finally cleared out my bra drawer before the bc, and just threw some away but couldnt bring myself to do that to my special ones so have been wearing my contact with regular bras and it is working very well. I must be the only one that has problems with the camisole from amoena,, they drop forward on me..to reveal too much, I have tried adjusting the straps too. I am going to have to find something else... any suggestions? Also waiting for my Makira order, hoping it comes before i leave.. not leaving until jan. 22.Still wondering how Bobo is coming along. Hi to everyone else... weather here has done a flip flop, very nice here and well above the zero mark and no wind... warmer temps predicted for about a week anyway... we will take it. Ariom, heard on news it is so hot in Aus. that the bats are dying... true?
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Ariom, glad the eye is healing, you are going to be quite the technicolor person for a while! Also glad you came back from the walk unscathed. I read about the bats too. Yuck!
viv, gads, that infection sounds frightful! I am so sorry that happened to you. Way too many stories like that. Were you warned about the possibility of infection before sx? Seems it happens often. I hope the ablasion works for you. I had serious period problems too ended up having a hysterectomy in '95, best thing I ever did!!
ndgirl, how fun to be planning your trip! I do that too, start early and organize over and over again! I was looking at the cases for my foobs and wondering how to manage them if I wanted to take them with me somewhere. I never check luggage and in their cases, they would take up all the room in my carry on. Can't see traveling with them on either! So I guess I'll be traveling flat when the time comes!
Hope bobo is continuing to heal and getting her strength back. ((bobo))
Hugs!
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Why can't they make a smaller case for foobs to use when traveling? I'm taking the train to meet DH and spend the night at a fancy hotel. I think I'm going to use my bra to make a sling to hang from a hanger. I read about someone doing that and they said it worked. Otherwise, all I'll need is something for dinner and extra underwear.
Bobo, we miss you. Hope you're feeling well enough to read.
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ndgirl, I would definitely take a lighter weight foob, like the Jillianna and the cover for my Contact. I'd wear my Contact, attached, so would have 3 options. I wouldn't take the carry cases if it was a short trip. The lightweight is like a little bean bag, so doesn't need to be treated special! When away, I just wash my Prosthesis, dry it and put it back in a bra for the next day and hang the bra on a coat hanger. I bought another case from Hong Kong which looks like a zip up Faberge Egg. It is designed to carry Prosthesis, but mine didn't fit too well in it. I have been known to just leave my Prothsesis front side down on the vanity overnight too.
I can't work out what is going on with your Amoena Valletta, maybe the size isn't right? I have no issue with the fall forward because the top is cut higher onto the chest, and the bra inside it is quite snug. I do have the straps adjusted fairly high too, but then I still have a slight flare of the fabric below the bust, so it sits over jeans or capri pants. Unless it is really hot, I usually wear a waterfall cardigan over mine too.
Wren, I hope you have a lovely night at the flash Hotel with your Husband. I love staying in Hotels!
gB, Technicolor is right! It is starting to disperse more now, so not as "In Your Face" ugly as it was. I had people in for morning tea this morning and they were amazed at how much better it looks.
Lunchtime now...catch you later...M x
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M - Glad your eye is better and less scary! Keep the bats alive, I love these mosquitoe-eating critters!
Togetherness - sorry about the infection and the implant removal. You don't have to go flat if you don't want, you can wear the cushion foobs/puffs as soon as you get out of the hospital. I still wear mine, 6 wks after sx, I haven't worn the silicone foobs yet since I have a wound from an infection that is still healing. Btw, i got these cushion foobs from the bra store where I bought my surgical bra & cami, but from what I read on these forums, it seems that some hospitals provide them.
Viv - I'm sorry about the procedure you will go through. We'll chat before then, but I hope everything goes well, you recuperate with no setbacks, and it gives you the results you're looking for!
Wren, have fun on your little trip! It's great that you have these getaways, it's a nice change of pace and scenery!
ndgirl - so much fun packing for this trip! Yeah, I never thought of packing foobs, those cases take up so much space. I'm sure there's a travelling case sold somewhere on the internet like what M found in Hong Kong?
gB, zills - hi!
{{{{hugs}}}} to bobo, I hope you are doing much better.
Today was my first day back at work, it went fine. Only a few people knew about the BMx, the others only knew I was off for "surgery" so I did not get many stares (would not have cared anyway). I wore the new bra, with the cushion foobs, but the nylon it has underneath was quite irritating, I was happy to put on the surgical bra when I got home. I remember M, you mentioned about Ameona having the softest bras, I should really get one (but not the surgical model I have). You have said how our skin stays sensitive for a while, and it's so true (see, I listen to you!). Also, with the wound I have, the tape from the bandage is making my skin so raw on that side, I need to give it some TLC!
Finally know the date of my MO apt: Jan 14... oh well...
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otceb, How are you feeling after a day at work? I hope you aren't exhausted.
Smiling at you saying you listen to me:) The sensitivity really does get better with time. I can imagine that sore spot from the tape, my skin doesn't hold up too well with tape either. I still massage the whole area every day to try to get more feeling back and to desensitize my skin. The massage seems to help the regenerating nerves to relearn too.
The other thing that feels really nice on the skin is fine knit, either cotton, or my favorite, Bamboo fiber, camisoles. I have some of these, and pin a weighted micro bead form inside.
Take it easy, and have a good rest! M x
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Wow, is it ever quiet around here!!
otceb, glad your first day of work went well. I hope you weren't too tired.
We had about 2" of snow over night, but it is melting now, even though it is a mix of snow and rain coming down again. Have to go and scrape my porch and path to the garage as that slush will freeze up over night and I will have to walk on ice.
Hugs!
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gB, you're not wrong there! I have never seen it so quiet here.
Be careful gB, that sounds like a really dangerous combination. I saw the most amazing footage on the TV last night of Niagra Falls, frozen!
We are revving up for a f'ing heatwave with a week of around 40c predicted! Isn't it unbelievable?
Take care M x
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Yes, we're getting pictures of how hot it is in Oz and you're getting pictures of our cold and snow. Wouldn't it be nice if we could average and enjoy a nice middle range. Seattle is it's usual self, gray, raining off and on, wind predicted.
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Hi All,
Been busy and trying to stay focused on EBAY listing , dehoarding this house and eating estrogen free (what a pain ). So I have not been on BCO much . Wanted to share this link .....the video is long but it speaks to some of the discussions we have had over the past few weeks about re con.
Hope you all are well , Wren I agree we can all use a nice middle range temperature !!!
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Hmmm, as a newbie to this forum, I'd say it's fairly active compared to others I've been on. I suspect the reason there are more people here lately is because this thread always has something new and is 'active'.
Nothing to report here. Am about 90% sure I'm proceeding with the mastectomy instead of radiation. Now I'm worried I have waited too long and those little cells have mingled...but then logic steps in and tells me if the radiologist said I could start radiation up to 3 months after the surgery...then all should be good as long as I get it done fairly soon....right? I guess it doesn't matter at this point..what is done is done. If it recurrs, I will always blame myself...but that is something I am good at.
I talked to my physical therapist about the possibility that my lymphedema would get worse after the mastectomy...she was reassuring that we should be able to control most whatever comes my way. I really like her .. my hour with her turns more into a counseling session than anything else...well I take that back, she seriously hurts me by trying to break up my scar tissue from the lumpectomy, and sometimes I want to scream from the pain, but for the most part, I really enjoy her positive attitude. I feel like I've made a new friend, and she is someone who 'gets' it because she sees this all the time, and her mother died from BC. My other friends never talk about it. They ask the generic "how are you doing?" question, but I don't feel like they really want to know that answer.
It's a balmy 36 degrees here. Kind of feels like spring after the -42 last week! The snow on the streets is all slushy and dirty looking...but it's melting and that is encouraging.
After 2 1/2 weeks off work, I worked yesterday and then decided today I just couldn't take it and took the day off! I really think that after my surgery (wow that is the first time I've said that and kind of meant it) I will start working part-time. Just how much part-time, I haven't decided, but a change is in the air. This diagnosis has made the last 4 months a living hell, and I am ready for a little peace. Maybe only Xanax can give me that?
Well, I've babbled enough. Hope everyone is doing well, and Ariom...I swear you better stop posting how warm it is over there or you might just find us setting up a group trip for a visit
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Today is the boy's 5th birthday. Bobo saved the day and gave me a quick and safe chocolate cake recipe. Had Mexican for dinner. Kids favs are rice and beans.
Raining here. In foul mood and tired. Not looking forward to weekend cooped up with kids. Going to have to walk, no matter what the weather.
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Happy 5th Birthday to the Boy! our little gd will be 5 in May and has been going to "getting ready for kindergarten" a preschool program. 5 is a delightful age,, well at least to the grandparents
! Rainy weather can be a downer, unless you are in a drought situation, but too many days of gloom and doom gets to me. Our weather is a heat wave compared to what we have had, 30 above.. woo hoo! I am down and out with a head cold... how could any germ survivie in -30-40 below weather for a month?? thought every virus should be froze off but nope one found me... feel like crap!! didnt do a darn thing today except blow nose!PBR, glad you made the decision, we never know what lies ahead, by the look of your diagnosis you found it early and small with not a high grade so hopefully things will turn out for the best for you... will be thinking of you!!
Fiaranch.. love the pic,, wish I had a cleaner too!! good one.
Anyone have any news on bobo?? sure miss her.
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Zills, I totally agree about rain. It can be so depressing. Come to think of it, I'm not too fond of any weather except clear skies and sunshine! Oh, and heat around 80 degrees with a light breeze.
Happy birthday to your son. My daughter is turning 12 in 9 days and we're going to rent the community pool for her friends. It's pretty inexpensive and I think they'll really enjoy it...someplace warm in mid-winter has a nice ring to it. The event planner sent me some paperwork which said we had to have 1 adult 'in the pool' for every 8 kids...I'm like .. really? I haven't been in a bathing suit in years and I won't be 'in the pool! I don't want to scare the kids
They talked it over and said as long as I was involved and not sitting on the bleachers texting, it wouldn't be a problem. *whew* Lucky me, I rarely use my cell phone and have sent about 2 texts in my life. Fiaranch - your posts are always so entertaining. I'll have to work on some humor. Maybe after I get past this surgery I'll be able to find it again. It's been AWOL for quite awhile it seems.
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Evening Everyone!
Fiaranch, Oh how I wish I had someone to clean as well! I seem to be able to be moving for 3-4 hours in the morning and then the arthritis kicks in and I am done! I swear the Herceptin is making it worse as it was never this bad before. Took pain meds as I can't take anti-inflammatory drugs until after surgery. So...I might be a bit "off"... Ah he'll, I'm always a bit "off"!
PRB Glad you have come to terms with your decision. I was told early on that I would have to have radiation and then no one has said another word about it. It is not something I want to choose, however I chose to have the MX and that may have negated the radiation. I haven't gotten a tumor grade, so I don't know how that figures into the equation. I guess someone will get back to me about it.
Zills happy birthday to the boy! I loved when the kids were 5. Glad Bobo had a cake receipe for you! How is she doing? I pray she is healing!
Ariom I hope your eye continues to get better and better!
Otceb I hope things are going ok at work and you are able to give yourself a break!
Dropped by school yesterday to let the principal know that I will be out for the remainder of this school year.
He wasn't in, but I did get to see some dear friends and kids. Most of the kids were astonished by my new curly grey hair and a few said it was better than my bald head! And I thought I rocked it. Go figure! I was quite choked up when two of my seniors told me how much they missed me. I have been teaching since 1975 and never thought I would miss it as much as I do. I am hoping to go back in the fall! If not, I will need to get a hobby or something.Weather here is insane! Minus 9 one day and forecasted to be 72 tomorrow! We have a saying here- if you don't like the weather here wait 5 minutes and it will change! I know I shouldn't complain, but 72 in winter? This is not the Deep South, in fact we aren't that far away from the Mason-Dixon Line, so I would like some seasonally cold weather especially since I am in the thrones of the longest personal summer in history! And I thought menopause #1 was bad! This time around is a sweatfest!
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Fiaranch, I'm a Gemini so 2 personalities(?) but neither likes to clean.....
PRB, glad you have just about decided. Once that last 10% is gone, I'm betting you will feel a lot better about everything.
Zills, Happy Birthday to the Boy! I don't envy a weekend shut up with the little ones, hope you can get out for a walk. Maybe take them out too? Splash in puddles?
ndgirl, sorry to hear about your bug. Yeah, one would think the cold would kill all of those critters off!
Hoping to hear some good news from bobo.
Hugs.
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Wren I agree, the middle road would be great! I love around 75F and sunny, and rain at night! Perfect...LOL
Fiaranch, I love that statement! I bought a great printed towel that has a picture of a 50's housewife in an apron and the text says" Being unstable and bitchy, is all part of my Mystique!" I bought it because our boat is named "Mystique", but those who know me, think it's a good statement about ME! LOL
PRB, I am glad you're pretty sure what you're doing now. It's great that you've found the PT who has become more like a friend. I am a strong believer in the massage to break up scar tissue and adhesions I know it hurts like the Devil, but so worth it.
I made a connection with my Radiographer and we are still in touch regularly. She sends me links to all the new data coming out, and has been genuinely interested in my whole journey. I wrote to thank her for taking such great care when doing all the imaging for my call back and then for explaining everything while doing my Stereotactic Biopsy, she contacted me and said that they rarely, if ever, hear about what happens to people after they are Dx. We have stayed in touch and she recently did my first Mammo after surgery.
I know what you mean about talking to someone who "Gets it". i am incredibly fortunate to have found a BC group in my town. We meet once a month and everyone "gets it". Although I was unsure at first, I didn't want to make BC into a "Hobby"! How naive was I! It is the best thing I have done. Great women, great support.
How good would a group visit to Oz be! But you'd hate the 40c+ it is wicked, especially when we get the hot Northerly winds to go with that heat.
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Oh Zills! Happy Birthday to the boy! Give him a big hug from me!
I hope it all went off well and he has had a lovely day! So sorry that you're in a foul mood, not like you, but that shitty weather can do that.
It is Bec's birthday tomorrow, 36 years old, boy has that flown in! She is up in Sydney with her Father, and not enjoying it at all. She is going to Yum Cha in Chinatown with the extended family for her birthday tomorrow, before flying home tomorrow evening.
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ndgirl, so sorry you have a bug, that's horrible. I hate that runny nose cycle, I hope it passes quickly!
sgc, I am really pleased to say that my eye is well on the way to being normal. I don't think it will take as long to go away, as predicted.
PRB, Great idea to do the pool party in the Winter! The children will love it.
I used to do a party at home for Bec for her Birthday when she was small, being at the hottest part of the Summer the kids loved the pool. I used to have adults strategically placed all over the place to make sure no one ended up at the bottom of the pool! It's chaos with lots of kids going in all directions.
Glad to hear Bobo is sharing recipes with Zills. I hope she's getting stronger and can post soon.
Take care...M x
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Boy is into How to train your Dragon. Found the soundtrack cd so he can listen to it at night. It's instrumental. Of course dragons and a dragon tshirt. The sequel comes out this summer.
Baby has conjunctivitis and is teething. Prefers a tube of Vaseline to chew on instead of a teething chewy. Right now is carting around her daddy's lunchbox.
My mood is a bad combination of sweets, rain, kids and being tired. Running errands doesn't count as walking. Neither does walking with the kids. Yes I'll take them out too. They love puddles.
I am also feeling insecure. My hair is getting long enough to stand up. It has a mind of its own. Still not long enough to brush or tame. Don't like the color. I want to be sexy and beautiful. I was almost flat before BMX and didn't care. Why does it bother me now? I promise no recon ever. Need to get some makeup and funky earrings.
Hi Granwe!
Nd. I too would have thought all the germs would have frozen. Eat some soup and think of your trip.
Wren. I'm jealous of your trip. Would love to get away for an adult weekend.
OTC. Try to let your area air out this weekend. I'm impressed you are back to work. Take it easy this weekend.
Posting
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PRB. Glad you made a decision and are saying it. Will make you feel better.
SGC. The wait is almost over. This is the hard part. Try to walk if you can. Good for mind and body.
M. Sounds too hot to walk. Is it humid too?
Viv. What's cooking for dinner? Leftovers for us today. Need to make me a quiche. Craving veg.
Idesim. Resting or cleaning this weekend?
Fia. I didn't get the cleaning personality. It's worse with bc, kids and now the dishwasher is broken.
GrammaB. Did you get the sidewalk cleared? Be careful.
Hope I didn't miss anyone.
Have a good weekend everyone. Try not to clean too much!
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Zills, Love getting advice that's so easy to follow! No cleaning for me.
Bobo, Please come back. We really miss you.
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Happy Birthday to Bec!!
(((Zills))) sorry you are going through a hard time right now. Yes, jewelry and makeup that certainly could help. How about some gel or mousse for your hair, maybe that will tame it for the time being.
Got my porch and path cleared yesterday, today is it raining and the wind is howling so it turned out to be wasted energy. Oh well, it felt good to be outside and no Claw!
sgc, I know how stressful these last few days of waiting are. I can tell you to relax, but I know you can't. Just know that by Monday evening it will all be over and you will be on your way to healing. It really isn't as bad as we imagine before the surgery, really! (((scg)))
Hi Wren, viv, anyone else I missed! Hope you are all having a relaxing weekend!
Hugs!
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Morning all! It's quite cool this morning, but is supposed to be pretty hot. Colin is going Model Boat racing and I will go to the Big Farmers Market with Dex. I am craving Fudge!
Zills, I am so sorry you have a baby with teething and sore eyes! I hope she feels better soon. I know how wearing a sick baby can be. No one but Mommy will do!
I can imagine how you are feeling now that the treatments are finished and things are becoming more normal. Do you have a Feel Good Look Better team that comes around your area? I, ironically did volunteer work for them when I worked for Clarins, many years ago. I know it may not appeal to you, but hey are trained to give great advice about makeup and hair. They also have some great packs of makeup, donated from all the big cosmetic houses that you are given after the meeting. It s definitely worth a look. What about some styling product for your hair? I use a brand called Jonathan Anton and his "Dirt" styling cream gives more control. I wear my hair a bit spikey and this stuff keeps it under control. Try a really neutral makeup look with a tinted moisturizer or BB cream, neutral taupe, or brown eyeshadow and either a cream blush, or a muted powder blush, a really nice lip gloss that gives a bit of lip "Pop" color, are your lashes back yet? If they are, some mascara and finish it off with some nice earrings. Heaps of body moisturizer after a good body scrub, either with a wash off exfoliator or exfoliating gloves. I use a slow daily tan product which gives me a permanent tan, but that's 'cause I am an old girl and tan hides a multitude of sins!LOL
You'll feel great after all that. There is nothing like a great skin scrub to make everything look really polished and healthy, a spritz of favorite perfume and you're good to go. I don't know what to tell you about the being flat now, as opposed to being small before, but in my opinion, there is truly, nothing sexier than a woman after a BMX who "Owns" it. I have seen some amazing inspirational photos of Flat and Fabulous Women who just look amazing, and strong. It is inspirational! That is how I see you!
It will take a little bit of practice, but the fact that you are ready, and want to be attractive and sexy, is half the battle. Feeling a bit insecure is so normal, but seriously Zills, you are such an amazing woman. Look at everything you've been through and here you are, ready to rock, into the next phase of your life.
You'll do it, Zills... Big hugs!
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