new and future flat sister, with questions
Comments
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Candice, I was worried about how it would feel to wake up with no breasts but I woke up gradually and had a lot of padding from dressings on my chest - at no point did it feel like a sudden shock. I think you've made the right decision too. I pray your surgery goes well and you wake up feeling relieved it's over, like I did.
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Hi candice, I had BMX on 24 July. I angonised over the decision for months, so I can hear how your are feeling. In the end I did not want to revisit the arduous treatment plan if my healthy breast became involved and I want symmetry.
As it is I have not been able to wear any prosthesis because from surgery I went to radiation and my chest is still recovering from radiation burns. I am so glad I am not trying to deal with being obviously lopsided. I, like Aussie cat, didn't wake up from surgery totally shocked but I was quite distressed going into theatre. In fact post surgery I had two small lumps due to a seroma in one and a hematoma in the other! The bandages made me feel like I was wearing a groovy Madonna bra. My chest is slowly flattening out and massage helps to soften the lumps and bumps.
I was quite surprised at how much movement I had and how little pain immediately after the op. It appears some of the extra procedures required when undertaking a planned reconstruction (tissue expanders etc.) can cause additional pain and increase risk of complications. Mind you everyone is different but I will say I expected the surgery to be much more debilitating than it was.
My chest is still recovering and directed exercise is very important to ensure the scars don't heal tight and a full range of movement is achieved. I also have to massage for lymph drainage as I had nodes removed.
Regardless of your decision, once your surgery is done, try not to look back.
We are here to support. X0 -
Hey all !
Came through my double mastectomy with flying colours last Wednesday. I was home by Thursday morning. I’ve had little pain . The drains are a real pain in the butt though. Still adjusting to looking at my flat chest ... I’m still very bandaged so I haven’t seen my scars yet . Bought lots of scarves to conceal the new me . I’m very self conscious about being flat because I had fairly large breasts so it’s a big change . Anyway I’m doing well . Getting lots of TLC and company . Concerned about how I’ll feel after everything returns to the new normal and company stops coming to the house to see me and my husband returns to work. Thinking of all of you. I know you can all relate to what I’m going through.
Candice
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Candice, I'm so glad that you came through your double mastectomy with flying colours last Wednesday and you have little pain!! I can understand you feeling self-conscious but it should get less over time. I hope that you will still have some support when things return more to normal so it won't suddenly feel like all the company has vanished. Maybe you can tell a few friends that you still need visits and company so that you won't feel unsupported. I hope it goes well for you and that you can keep telling us here how you're doing.
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congrats Candice, for me it has taken some time to adjust and healing is a slow process. Be kind to yourself xxx
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Candice -- (((Hugs)))
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Hi
Sorry I haven’t been on here lately . I have been on the go since I got my drains out ... such freedom ! However things have gone a little awry in the last few days. I ended up in the hospital to see my surgeon with pain and redness at the incision site. My incision was breaking open in spots . Of course everyone has been asking me if I’ve been doing too much and I haven’t other than just getting out of the house as much as possible . The surgeon thinks I’m having a reaction to the sutures he used. Anyway now im rebandaged and back to having no showers again ... which really sucks ! I have to have homecare come today and put a special dressing on called a Pico. So I guess the bottom line is I pulled through surgery well but i am not healing well. So im staying put today waiting for homecare and a snow storm. 10-15 cm is expected . Canada in November! Anyway that’s all my news. Hopefully you are all keeping well:)
Candice
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Candice, I'm sorry you had a reaction to the sutures and ended up back in hospital and have been rebandaged. I hope you heal up well from now on and the nurse who visits you is really helpful and kind. It's frustrating when things like this happen!
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Candice - so sorry to hear all that. How are you now?
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candice hope you are doing better. I'm sorry to hear about not healing well. Thank you all for sharing your stories. This has been so helpful.
I am currently doing TCHP and just had round 4 of 6. After this I will be doing a bilateral masectomy and after that will need 25 sessions of radiation. I also have chronic ITP and blood platelets are very low so I am high risk for complications. Therefore I'm opting for no reconstruction. I'm only 39 but I am married and have 3 kids who I breast fed. It makes me sad to think I'm losing a part of my body that fed my kids. I know it sounds dumb but it hurts. But my husband is super supportive and does not want me to get boobs. He said he wants me alive flat chested and all. I'm also scared of feeling less attractive and if I will get depressed seeing my newly mutilated body. A constant reminder of what we have endured. But I tell myself turn it around and let it remind you of the warrior you are. We are not defined by boobs. I have a 3 year old daughter and my husband reminds me this experience will also make her stronger.
Thanks again for sharing your stories. My surgery wont happen til early February since I still have 2 more chemo sessions to go.
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I also had bilateral mastectomies without reconstruction in June. Your sadness doesn't sound dumb at all. It's natural to feel a sense of loss in this situation, so please be kind to yourself. You're going through a lot.
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sun ocean, I echo Aussie cat. Be kind to yourself.
I so did not want my BMX but it happened and now, just sometimes, I have to remind myself of what I have been through.
Last weekend I 'boobed up' for the first time with a Berli post mastectomy bra with soft inserts. First time I felt I could do it now that I have healed from rads. Smaller than my actual bust size but my goodness I felt busty!! Looked okay, felt weird, didn't last long as we working in the garden. Off came the wig and bra.
Good luck x
I have almost gotten use to being flat!0 -
Hey,
I am doing much better. Still have the special bandage on and have nurses coming every few days. I’m itching terribly but the surgeon says that’s due to healing as well as the reaction to the sutures. He said to take Benadryl for the itching. So I am a bit of a zombie as the Benadryl wipes me out. I get reasssed this Thursday. So hopefully the surgeon will say I can have the bandage off for good.
I know I’m almost at the end of this whole process just have to go see an Oncologist to see what the next step will be. I’m really nervous to no longer be under the regular care of a doctor. Sounds crazy right ? I feel like I’m going to be left on my own with no one keeping tabs on me. I’m sure this is a fairly normal feeling. Anyway it’s just me being a worrier.
So glad I have been able to connect with so many different women . It’s been great to know that everyone here knows exactly what I’m going through and are so supportive of each other.
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hey Aussie cat
I’m doing much better. Trying now to get used to looking at my flat chest. I haven’t been able to show my husband my newly scarred and flat chest. It’ll be a month Wednesday so I’m thinking I should be able to soon. I hope I can ... I am very self conscious about it. I’m sure that this is normal. Hope all is going well with you . I’m trying to look at posts more regularly. It’s the time of year ... things are ramping up for the holidays so life tends to get in the way. I know I need to stay in touch. It’s been so helpful
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Hey Candice, I think it's very natural to be really nervous to no longer be under the regular care of a doctor. I hope your bandage comes off soon and you stop itching. Being wiped out by Benadryl antihistamines sounds stressful too. I know it must be hard to show your husband your scars. You can think about whether you'd rather get it over with or whether you want to take your time and see when you feel ready. You're right that it's normal to be very self conscious about it at first. Above all, please be kind to yourself and know that your feelings are normal.
I have been trying to find clothes to disguise my flatness as our summer approaches and I've found some good things but some things are hard to find. I still feel bad about the shape of my scars and I'm waiting to have an appointment with a breast surgeon, but I'm not sure who it will be. I had my surgery in June but I haven't had a proper appointment with my breast surgeon since January, so that's frustrating. I have kept seeing breast registrars who weren't there during my surgery.
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aussie and Helen thank u for your words. They mean a lot to me.
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Hey
I’m doing much better these days. My incision is finally healing up and the itching has stopped. The surgeon finally said I didn’t have to come back to see him. It’s so weird... it’s been such a journey and to be released from his care seems a tad scary . The doctors become such a huge part of your existence. Anyway I’m moving on now to an oncologist next week to find out if I need any follow up treatments. My cancer was ER+ so it’ll probably be some type of hormone therapy.
How are you doing these days ? It’s such a busy time of year so it’s easy to lose touch. But I think it’s important to keep on supporting one another. I got so caught up with Christmas prep that I’ve neglected to keep in touch . Please forgive me
Candice
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Hey sunocean,
Thank you for sharing your story. How are you feeling these days?
Candice
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Candice
I know what you mean about the surgeon. I still see mine about every 6 months until the 1 year mark. But when I first started going to see her about my tests, she told me "some people want to hold onto me permanently, and that's okay". I wasn't sure what she meant, but now I understand. It's just a part of my life to see her periodically. I will see her in January and discuss what happens in the future with checkups -- I think I'd like her to be the one to monitor me, as I've really grown to trust her totally!
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Hey MDRR
That’s how I feel ! I wish my surgeon was monitoring me but now it’s left up to the oncologist that I’ll be seeing next week which makes me sad ... I have to get used to seeing another Dr. It’s hard to let go after you’ve been through such an ordeal and they are the ones who have walked you through it ( in my case 3 surgeries ). I came to really trust him. I guess I have to look at it as a team approach not just one individual dr. I have an excellent family dr too that’ll keep a close eye on things.
Thanks for sharing !
Candice
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hi candice
I'm doing well all things considered. Thanks for asking. I'm scheduled for round 5 of TCHP chemo this Tuesday. Hoping blood work comes out good to proceed.
I went to a class the other day where we get to hear and see women who have gone through reconstruction. I was surprised to see how good the DIEP results looked but then realized that 10 to 12 hour surgery is too risky for me. When I saw the flat woman it honestly made me sad because it looked as bad as I suspected. No disrespect to anyone but that was just my initial thought and I cried the whole night thinking of what's to come to my body. But then I reminded myself if this means I get to live to see my 3 young children grow up do be it...its worth it and that's what matters.
How is everyone else doing ? You are so right the holidays keep everyone busy and time just slips by.
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Flat is not pretty but it's a choice we make when more surgery is not an option and keeping your breast/s is likely to kill you.
It's not easy or pleasant but I would imagine reconstruction is same - not easy or pleasant.
Hugs to faced with the decision.
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I have been flat since day one.. I looked at my scar as soon as possible. At a minimum I was strongly recommended delayed recon, so my BS gave me a real symmetrical skin sparing boobs.
I have mourned the loss of my teenage looking boobs almost every day since 02/25/17, but recon is not an option for me,, I am determined to avoid any surgery for the next 40 yrs.
one more thing to my future and flat sisters, I think my lymphedema pump helped quite a bit to flatten them out. I highly recommend it.
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Thinking of you Sunocean today as you do your chemo.
Candice
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Thank you Candice. Had chemo done on Tuesday and I had so much nausea. Took meds and it helped. Sour stomach feels awful. Praying this passes.
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Sunocean I’m also dealing with a lot of nausea on TCHP this round, zofran doesn’t seem to be working, what meds are you taking
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I am taking compazine. Seems to be working better than Zofran. Hang in there
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Hey
I got really good news last Friday ... I don’t need further treatment! Oncologist said I was a really low risk for recurrence. We talked about tamoxifen but I am on other meds that would render tamoxifen useless and it would prove difficult to change those meds. Of course as a doctor he has to give you all your options . He also mentioned ovary removal as well as injections once a month that would put me into menopause. So I opted out of those options . He thought that was fine where I was low risk... 89% of women with my type of breast cancer will be alive and well in 10 yrs and 4% on top of that would die of other causes not breast cancer . However as I told people my good news they burst my bubble by telling me I should have my ovaries removed anyway ... I disagree. Anyone out there have any thought on that subject ? Ive started second guessing my decisions.
Candice
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Candice
I'm always amazed at how many people give advice when they have no experience with what you're living; usually well-intentioned but no real understanding. You are the one living through everything and you have the input and education from your medical team. It sounds like you have considered everything and come to the best conclusion for you. Even having had my own BC, I can't determine what I would decide in your shoes! So I support your decision. If you want to reconsider based on new information, that's fine, but trust your instincts and decisions. We can't see into the future and we all want to live without recurrence, but we know better than anyone that there are no guarantees going forward!
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Candice, I'm sorry that people have been confusing you. Have you been given any statistics by your doctors on what percentage improvement there would be in not getting recurrence if you were to have your ovaries removed? Unless it really improves things, it doesn't seem worth it.
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