Stage 2 Sisters Club
Comments
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I wish everyone health and strength in the New Year, and new dreams!
My New Years Resolutions are (1) keeping Arimidex pain away by going on power walks 4 times a week, (2) getting over my hair loss by ditching my wig (won't be easy!), (3) considering a work change to take on new challenges, (4) worrying less about metastasis by concentrating on what is today. I won't include those resolutions about keeping my closet organized and the like because I already know I can't keep those up, LoL.
And I want to stay on this forum to be of support to others. I want to be like Ruth and SpecialK and the many others who are past the scary zone and are here just for others. I toast to our friendship BC Sisters and allies!
And now off to keep up with my first resolution! Gorgeous day here. Much love, Nisa
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Happy New Year! I'm glad to see 2013 gone and looking forward to a better 2014. I am taking a few weeks break between Tamoxifen and the start of Femara. I have been off a week and feel like my digestive track is in good shape for the first time in 3 years of Tamoxifen. Hope the Femara is better to me. Wishing everyone the best in 2014.
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Nisa, great resolutions! I was considering a career move as well and to go back to what I was doing before, more challenging...
Hipline, I started with Tamox last week and no SE so far. I hope it stays this way!
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Well, you never get all the way out of the scary zone. I have my yearly mammogram tomorrow, which should be fine, but the thought still makes me queasy.....
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Wishing all my Stage II sisters a very Happy and HEALTHY New Year!
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ruthbru - hope all goes well with your mamo today!
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Ruthbru, good wishes on the mammo! NisaVilla, good luck on the resolutions. Being more ambitious is to be applauded!
As for me, I have Taxol #8 today; four to go and I will be done by January 30!!!! YAY!!!!!
Hoping everyone is enjoying their New Year!
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Hi. I haven't been on a bunch lately, but wanted to stop by and wave to everyone.
OK - couldn't find a wave, had to settle for a wink. We have been camper shopping and I've been cooking a bunch - so the freezer is full of food and we're preparing to take off for a bit - there's something wrong with that picture....0 -
Mammo looked good. Whew! My hospital has just gotten the new 3D machine. The technician let me look at the slides and they are awesome. It should pick up potential problems a lot earlier & also be able to rule out problems too (like if there looks like there might be a lump, they can look down a couple layers & see if it really is, or just a place where tissues are connecting). Makes you feel like they really ARE making progress.
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Yay, ruthbru!!
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nice!
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hooray!
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Great news, ruthbru!!!! Awesome way to start 2014
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Yay Ruthbru on your mammo!!!
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Ruth, You are doing great girl!
Gardengumby, waving back.
Warrior, May February 1st come around soon!
Hipline, nice to meet you. Good luck with new meds.
GlobalGirl, nice vacation you had.
This exchange post op feels nothing like the monstrous BMX. For those coming behind me, prep for a pleasant surprise!
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nisa - who says I am past the scary zone, lol!
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SpecialK, you are back! I am at week 4 of my last TC and still no hair, no period, still retaining a lot of fluids... Do you know when I will start changing and getting hair, less swollen, etc?
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It was 6 months after my last infusion that I finally was able to ditch the wig & wear my 'real' hair....so it definitely takes awhile!
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SpecialK, you seem to have it very together - that's where my impression of you being past the scary zone came from. It was giving me hope that maybe I could be you one day soon.
I'm tired of co-living with fear. Sometimes, at night, my fear becomes a certainty that my cancer is already back and I just don't know it - like I didn't know my cancer was there for 5 years until finally detected. I sometimes feel I am the only one with such fears.
Love, Nisa
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Nisa, I had those fears for about a year after dx. I went on Effexor for awhile which helped. Then suddenly the fear just lifted. It arises periodically, but I have for the most part put it aside. Reading this board and connecting with others who were going through the same thing as me, or worse, helped tremendously. At some point I just became philosophical about it all. Life is temporary no matter what takes us and we simply need to enjoy and appreciate, to whatever extent possible, every moment we are given. (((HUGS)))
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this is where I have the most trouble.....the scary zone. How do we get past it and move on? I am not even done with treatment and I am already thinking about this.
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nisa and all - thank you for that compliment, not sure if I have it together or not though, lol! What follows is my opinion - concerning the scary zone, one day it dawned on me that worrying about recurrence, or anything really, is a waste of time. If I am consumed with worry about it, and then it happens, I have lived it twice. I will deal with it when, or if, it happens. I can't control whether or not I have a recurrence beyond exercising, eating well, staying on hormonal therapy, etc., and doing those things may or may not have any real effect, but I feel better doing them. To look back and mourn my previous self is pointless, to look too far forward and worry about what the future brings is also pointless. The key is to live each day, distill in your mind the things that are important, the relationships that are meaningful, the things that bring you joy, realize that you can't change the past or control the future. I participated in a mindfulness based stress reduction study in which I learned that many of us don't really live in the moment - we think we do, but we don't. When we are driving in the car we are on the phone, making a shopping list in our head, thinking about errands, dinner, work projects, etc. Multi-tasking may seem beneficial because you are getting things done, but often it means that you are not focused on the moments you are living - you never really relax and that breeds an unsettled mind and exacerbates the worry. Just my thoughts ...
headeast - I have a very good friend who is very young, single, and newly diagnosed with TNBC so have been immersed with going to her consults and appointments with her, and I had to travel to Washington, D.C. for my vaccine booster, so have been a bit AWOL from BCO!
For anyone who might find this helpful, the study used the book "Full Catastrophe Living" by Jon Kabat-Zinn, here is the link:
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Each little pain or twinge I think is either a drug se coming on or a recurrence. It will take a long time to get over that.
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Special K--Jon Kabat Zinn is great--- that is a great book! I agree, worrying about it really won't change anything. I think I was about 2 years out when I really stopped thinking about it..... I figure if something happens, I will know it early and I have all the docs on speed dial.
We put a big jar in the kitchen this week. Every day everyone can write on a piece of paper what good/great things happened that day. At the end of the year, we can review them and see what a great year we had. Today's entries included "snow day!!!" and "my shingles pain continues to subside!!!".... and I finally got outside after several weeks in the house.... it was great, sunny, cold and beautiful....
Happy New Year all.
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Also, make plans and DO things that you've wanted to do but put off....book the dream vacation or the weekend away with the girlfriends, take a cooking class or painting class or Spanish or Zumba, join a choir or start a book club....whatever would be intriguing to you. If you are doing interesting things and making plans for the future, then you don't have as much time to think about the 'what ifs'. And the reality is; it is either going to come back or it isn't. If it doesn't, then I will have wasted a lot of time and energy worrying for nothing. And if it does, then I really better get out there making memories and enjoying life RIGHT NOW (which we all should be doing anyway, cancer or no cancer).
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i love you guys...
For me.. it wasn't philosophical... I just wasn't going to let the BC steal anymore of my life than it already had. It could come back or not. For sure I'll die of SOMETHING! I just dont plan on giving in quickly or easily. 
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Here is a really great quote I came across shortly after diagnosis:
"It is what it is. It becomes what you make it."
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Aviva,
I concur! Anastrozole sucks. I wake up every morning feeling as if this 50 year old body is 80 years old. The pain comes and goes. Sometimes I have heel pain, sometimes the top of my feet hurt, other times it's my knees and joints.
BUT!!!!! At least we are here and without metastitis. For that I am thankful. Hang in there girlfriend!
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ruthbru & specialk - u are an inspiration to all of the "newbies"
For me the fear seems to be lessening as time goes by - but the little booger creeps back every so often. It took a long time to be comfortable with all the physical changes we were forced into.
Having all if you as a testament that we will get thru this makes all the difference!!!
Ruthbru - yesterday when scheduling another dr appt, now wuth a lymphadema surgeon i had the "ah hah" moment & just said screw it & booked an eastern carribean cruise for the family!!! I just wanna go relax, laugh, enjoy my adult kids, parents & fiance and soak up the sun!!! Forget about dr appts & surgeries for 7 full days!!! Lol
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That is EXACTLY what you should do!!!!!!!
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