Moving On......After the Flap
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minatabo...to expand on sbe's analogy of Christmas morning...no one puts their life "on hold" for a year, waiting for Christmas, the trick is to get on with things while waiting.
I can't tell from your post where you are re: tx, but as you move farther from things like chemo and rads, and start to feel better, hopefully you can start doing positive things that feel more normal for you. Don't make the recon your target...make lots of smaller, short-term goals and plans, to move your thoughts closer, less distant, and feel some "here and now" progress and accomplishments.
Flap recon is very doable, but also is made easier if you can go into it as strong and healthy as you can. Use the wait time to recover and rebuild...it will be worth it!
Best wishes to you. You will get there, and you will get beyond.
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Thank you stellamaris, sbelizabeth, nihahi for your replies and encouraging words.
I'm 31, single, no children . I think because of my age and being single - I feel like I want to/need to move on and "be normal" again, experience life like how my other friends are. Tho I do realize I have a new and different normal from them.I'm finishing chemo in early April - and the initial plan was to do double MX followed with immediate DIEP flap reconstruction. But my radiation doc suddently through me the curve ball to consider radiation (that's a whole other story in itself...very frustrating one) due to my age, and some other risk factors. So that really threw me off and had to change my "plan" or timeline for this whole journey.
But Nihahi, you got a good point. I need to set a shorter goals for myself...something that's achieveable and within control - Because recon won't be. I'm at a BMI of 30.5 now - hoping to set some weight loss goals, pick up sports i use to love in high school and be down to a healthier BMI when the recon happens.
I feel like no one around me knows how rough this journey is, physically mentally and emotionally. But its always great to find members from this community who are supportive and encouraging. Thank you.Minatabo.
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minatabo...sounds like you are in the depths of the phase where it feels like all your energy is going out...nothing coming back towards you. This will shift as you finish, then move farther away from chemo. I didn't have rads, so can't speak to that, other than I have heard from many that tiredness is cumulative.
Hang in there...as much as we wish for it, everything doesn't "snap back to normal" the day after the last tx. You will get there, and yup, your thoughts of getting healthier and re-engaging in things you enjoy sound perfect. Spring is almost upon us...well, depending where you live, you may be waiting awhile longer,
, but it's a great time to get out for some walks and connect with the signs of "renewal" that nature puts on display. Believe that it will happen for you too.Take Care and one step at a time! You've got this.
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nihahi-SO glad it was fat necrosis, if I didn't say that but still hoping you get relief from the tingling situation. Gosh bodies are weird.... never know what crops up! The joint pain is tolerable, feeling like Methuselah some days but my onco says I can go off my AI in two more years. We will see what the studies show between now and then.
minatabo- many of us had surgery in 2014 and when people ask me about it I tell them "it wasn't bad" and my husband says I don't remember it all as clearly as he does. That being said, I have no regrets for doing it and feel honored to be on the earth and want to seize opportunities to do what I am here to do. I have seen such wide variance in when people get their surgeries in relation to their diagnosis. My oncologist at the time made me get right on things and I ended up at Penn because they were so efficient and organized and it was all so fast it seems a blur. I know others that just had lumpectomy and later did the whole shebang after chemo. So if you want to, get another opinion at another location if that gives you peace. The local surgeons were pushing my surgery so far out my oncologist wasn't happy. In hindsight, it might have very well been fine to wait a bit. Best wishes to you.
Janet, you are just honest and make the world a better place! I pretty much try to be sensitive to everyone's catch all phrase about cancer. If they call it journey or rodeo or marathon or roller coaster and they actually had cancer it never bugs me. I just think to myself inwardly when those who have never had cancer say stupid things "please just stop talking, there is more to it than what you read on the internet about asparagus" lol.
On a related note, I have also found that as a stage 1A three years ago, I actually don't know jack about how it feels to be Stage IV or get mets, I of course don't want to go through it so that I have a richer understanding! but that is another area I try to zip my lip about since I do not have experience with it. God knows I probably have unknowingly said the wrong thing but I try so hard to guard my speech.
Teacher was good to hear from you also and movie and everyone else. I don't know how I would have gotten through without you all in 2014. I do think of you all and send a prayer up that you stay well.
Cindy
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Hi 2014 ladies and new women: I was part of the 2014 thread! I gained more strength and support from everyone! I love that I chose DIEP! Believe it or not it took me 3 yr to decide on Stage 2. I am scheduled for 10/2 and I am petrified! I am only doing it because I want to remove dog ears, fix abdominal scar and etc. I guess after the surgery, I will move on. In fact, I know it. Sending great love and respect to all the women who guided me! Lis
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Best wishes LiLi-Rl for a successful surgery. Almost everyone found that stage 2 was a simple, easy recovery. I bet you'll find yourself wondering why you are nervous and also why you waited so long.
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lili, relax, stage 2 is nothing like the DIEP.. I had it in June and no problem. Quick recovery.ladt step now is my new nipple tattoo. Good luck
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Lili-Ri -
Stage two is a joyous experience. Fear, and all.
I was terrified too, but it was a safe and straightforward experience with a minimum recovery. I was reluctant to have any more procedures and had almost talked myself into living with my dog ears etc, but my surgeon gently urged me, saying that the overall reaction to stage two was one of contentment. Of course he was right, and once the surgery was done I felt like I was finally my new (and improved) normal and ready to surge forward. Felt the same way as when, after a long Canadian winter, you finally peel of your winter jacket and put it away for good.
Bring it on!
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Thank you Nihahi, Stella and Janet! You have all given me positive responses, and these thoughts give me strength. I think I am nervous since it has been 3 years since Stage 1. I am so happy that this thread and 2014 helped me so much! I hope you you are all well. 💜💜 LiL
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hey gals, can you pass me a margarita?
I'm so happy to read your threads! Yes, stage two is a different beast than stage one, but if you expect stage one, you can just be pleasantly surprised. I'm glad you feel up for continuing on, and know you will feel good to put it behind you.
So I have happy "normal life" news to share with my strangers-yet-sisters community: I just finished my last reconstruction step =tattoos!! Literally, got them today. And no, not nipples, I got other things, including a Phoenix of course. And now when I see myself in the mirror, I don't see cancer, I don't see scars, I see who I choose to be right now. Which is pretty much mommy, bc these kids keep me rolling on!
Just wanted to share in the lounge here, have ppl who understand celebrate w me!
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Carolina...sending you hugs and high-fives!!!
Congrats on the finish line. Enjoy the adventures of life that lie ahead of you.
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thanks sista! And for starting this lounge.
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