Life does not end with a stage IV diagnosis (really!)
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Linda, your post is beautiful; I couldn't have said it better.
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This discussion reminds me of a quote of Arthur Ashe's I first read about yesterday in an article on Stuart Scott. It was something Scott's sister texted to him after a rough patch in his treatment: "Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can."
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None of the posts made me feel bad. Gosh, whatever it was that I posted was coming from a dark place. I tend to spend 3 days there before I pull myself back up. I like this forum because it helps to remind me to get out and do something. I do wish I would stop thinking about the cancer all the time. During the massage today I had to worry about whether she would break a rib and if she was using too much pressure on my lymphedema arm. (It did cause a flare and my ribs hurt pretty badly.) Then I found 2 lumps behind my ear and went into a panic. Here's something funny. I worried it could be in my brain and then we wouldn't be able to go on our May trip. Something tells me my focus is screwed up. Ya think? LOL. Anyway it is an interesting experience this B&B thing. I'm glad we're the only ones here but I bet it could be cool to be sharing with other patrons. We're expecting snow tonight so mom will have snow for her birthday. Nice.
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I like that quote GemStateGirl.
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Dunes no worries, u can talk aeay
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Linda u said best wish i had the energy, in bed everyday, never sit in the living room, go out when i n can
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MrsM, I love your post about making a difference everyday! You are so right, so few of us will "change the whole world", but that doesn't mean we can't change our own little world, esp by bringing kindness everyday to others.
I appreciate this post, glad someone suggestd searching it out. Stage IV not quite 4 months yet, so still emotionally on the roller coaster.
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I have volunteered 4 years, now i just do it on the puter
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what kind of volunteering did you do Blondie ? 4 years , that's awesome !!!
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I am bumping this thread for those who may not have seen it. I am into year five dealing with this disease. Yes, I have had to make changes, adjust to a new normal, accept that some things would never be the same. But, especially with the insight gained from this forum and all its many contributors, I learned to move forward. It is possible to have a quality of life even still, and I have packed much living into these past few years
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divine,
Right on! Yes, we adjust some things and life shifts, but never put your foot in the grave sooner than you have to.
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I just seem to want to sleep all the time. Of course, I was like that before breast cancer came along. It's called depression. I feel so guilty for wasting what time I have left, but I guess I really don't know what to do. My depression has been life-long, but especially since the age of 23. I don't even KNOW what I like to do. I think I like taking part in activities at Hopewell, but I'm going to have to remember that when my alarm rings early on Saturday mornings. I also go on Tuesdays, but it's not quite so early. If I can figure out what I like to do, it may turn out that life for me begins with a stage IV diagnosis.
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dunesleeper, having quality of life doesn't have to mean getting out of the house and socializing. The first year I was dealing with bc, I dealt with chemo/rads/surgery and treasured my time at home. There were things I did have to get out and do because my son was a senior in high school, so I went to those hs senior activities then helped him transition into college. But I also allowed myself to zone out at home. I got completely immersed in an iPad game for three months. I could play "Plants Vs Zombie" for hours and I let myself do that because it was an escape. I watched tv and read books. After the first year, I started to get out a bit more, but it was mostly just with my husband with whom I felt safe. We didn't have to talk and be perky. We did a bit of traveling and had new experiences so everything wasn't always cancer related.
Being in nature was and still is something that moves my soul. So we would take rides on country roads, or visit beautiful flower gardens and I would soak it all in. Flowers blooming in my back yard lift my spirits as well. It doesn't have to be complicated. Seeing a little kid in an adorable outfit, observing the contentment of my lazy, beautiful cat, a great song on the radio, little things like that add up and make my day. Seek things that speak to *your* heart.
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dune,
I have had close family members suffer with depression and I know what a bear it can be. Life takes many unexpected turns and you never know when you might make peace with yourself and find your purpose, even at stage IV.
Caryn
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Happy valentines day
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Yes, I hope Valentine's day was sweet for all of you. My only Valentine is my mother, but I think the candies I got her were too sweet for her. Oh well. I spent the entire morning at Hopewell, doing yoga, then strengthening and tone, then tai chi. It was nice.
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Dune, Your morning at Hopewell sounds great.
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dunesleeper, I was wondering what hopewell was. Sounds like a great place to spend time!!
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dunesleeper, I've often read of tai chi and its benefits, and its something I've always wanted to learn, even look up a few youtube videos on it.
Being in Ohio with frigid temps this weekend, dh and I stayed warm at home. I asked for pink roses, which he bought at the grocery store and I put in a vase. I read an excellent book by a physician oncologist who counsels cancer patients called "Kitchen Table Wisdom", a collection of stories of experiences she'd had over the years. One of the stories mentioned a pink rose (nothing to do with bc) so I just had to have them.
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just a thought...the live strong program at the y will introduce you to Tia chi. During the 12 week free program, you and your family get a free membership during that time. So you could take the Tia chi class whenever!
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kjones, going to check that out. I bought a cd but it just isn't fun doing it by myself in the living room. I could never seem to get i to it!!
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Amen Mrs M/ you are right on...we all need to just do the best we can do and have the assurance that we all understand...thanks
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GatorGal, I am very fortunate to live so close to this place. I look forward to walking the grounds when the weather warms up.
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Divine Mrs. M your roses are lovely. I have a sweet spot in my soul for yellow roses, but your pink ones are very beautiful.
I don't think I could do the yoga or tai chi at my house by myself. The fact that I have the opportunity to do it a couple of times a week at a facility where they know they are serving people who could have mets to bones, liver, brain, and wherever else this devil cares to invade. They know to help us avoid things based on our own problem. It is very low-key anyway. Almost everyone uses a chair. It is very relaxing, though, and it helps me do a little exercise. It should improve my balance. They are doing an art project that I hope I can attend, and they will be working on nutrition. I can only go to the first of the series. Then I should be working again.
Of course, I don't really know what is happening next. I had a bad day. I suspect a sacral fracture (and I was just standing when it happened). I had some unexplained dizziness/vertigo. And I still have the numbness (not so much pain) of my chin and lower teeth. I feel like The Fly, losing another piece of me every day. Please make it stop.
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Mrs. M, Those roses are beautiful, more like fuchsia then a pastel pink.
Dune, I hope it is not a fracture. I know what you mean though, I think of it as being terrorized by my own body.
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https://www.facebook.com/DeborahCohansHealingJourn...
Dr. Deborah Cohan, the woman who danced in the OR prior to her bmx, posted this on FB. Oliver Sacks is in his 80's and as such is at a different point in his life than many of us, however, his attitude toward his illness and how he has chosen to live throughout it, mirrors how I feel and, for me, is the best way to flip cancer off:)
Here a link to the same article as it was published in the NY Times:
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/19/opinion/oliver-s...
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Well a very very frightened morning for myself...early calls from nurses and doctors...My tumor markers have gone up...even on the most strongest chemo out there (Red Demon) they call it in the chemotherapy world and Faslodex...Well these chemo is not working as planned..so cancer is progressing rapidly...now have to have another PET scan to see what the hell is going on...with the cancer...then will probably will be put on 2 different types of chemo plus blood transfusions...because my blood counts are always low...so getting clean fresh blood will help...who knows...I trust my doctors...but oh boy...I really have to stay strong and pray for a miracle....Love you all.... need you all more then ever!! *****TEARS*****
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feeling exhausted. 0 -
freebird,
What a tough time for you. Never doubt that we are all here to support you in whatever way we can.
Caryn
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Freebird, I am praying for a change in the positive direction for you.
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Freebird, so sorry you're having such a rough time. I hope so much you get things under control and reverse the direction of this damn Cancer
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